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tall and tasty
24th Mar 2005, 13:44
Ok on a lovely sunny afternoon I would like to put this up

What qualities make someone a good friend?

I have loads of friends but probably on a couple that I can fall back on and really know they will be there through thick and thin?
That can get you smiling when it is all going horribly wrong and see you through the good and bad times. They know who they are and one in particular on these forums I would like to dedicate this to ;)

So fellow ppruners what makes your friends a good friend and why does one or more stand out from the crowd?


I hope this has not been done before I did so a quick search so please accept my apologises if it has.

TnT :ok:

PerArdua
24th Mar 2005, 13:47
Someone who you can be away from for years and when you meet up it is as if you were never away. Someone you can trust to tell you the bad things as well as the good.

Someone who you can tell anything. And if you are after nominations My Wife is my best friend.
PA

IFTB
24th Mar 2005, 13:54
Has your wife been away for years?

PerArdua
24th Mar 2005, 14:10
Ha Ha

Very Funny. She falls into the talk about anything category.

zerozero
24th Mar 2005, 14:11
#1 Loyalty.

P.S. There are some things I don't tell my good friends for various reasons I won't go into here.

Jerricho
24th Mar 2005, 14:50
A good freind is somebody you can have a major difference of opinion about something, call them "a raving d*ckhead" and then have a beer after.

Capt.KAOS
24th Mar 2005, 15:38
What qualities make a good friend Likes (lotsa) beer whilst talking bullsh!t and observing wimmin.

redsnail
24th Mar 2005, 15:58
Loyalty, honesty, respect.

MadsDad
24th Mar 2005, 16:18
A few categories:-

Chums:- You know to speak to, chat when you meet.

Pals:- You meet regularly and talk to, usually in the pub. If uninterested in conversation you wander off. You go to their parties, if invited.

Mates:- You meet regularly and talk to a lot, usually in the pub. If uninterested in conversation you listen anyway. You go to their parties, even if not invited.

Good Mates:- You meet regularly and talk to a lot, usually in the pub. If uninterested in conversation you listen anyway. You go to their parties, even if not invited. And they let you in.

Friends. You move heaven and Earth to help when in trouble. Even if they aren't. They will do the same for you.

cyclicmicky
24th Mar 2005, 16:20
Agree with PA,
but we still have some blinding rows,
then after.....
we make up!!!heh heh.
Love her to bits, .....and she's still my friend, to who I can (and do) tell everything.
Also got a couple of very old friends who fall into the don't see for ages but it's like nothing has passed category, we may as well have been together yesterday as six months ago ...it doesn't make any difference. That's friends.
:ok:

X-QUORK
24th Mar 2005, 19:04
A good laugh, trustworthy, likes a beer, a sense of decency, good taste in music, and an open ear to all the bull$hit I spout.

Grainger
24th Mar 2005, 19:08
All of the above - plus the ability not to judge.

And the way that time passes when you're together - you know, it's four in the morning, you've been talking for hours . . . but it only feels like ten minutes.

Blackshift
24th Mar 2005, 20:10
Have to agree with zerozero that loyalty has to be the most important quality of a true friend.

However, a true friend is also someone who is prepared to tell you something which you may not particularly want to hear, but which they consider to be in your best interest to take on board, when others are unwilling to do so.

Superficially this may occasionally appear to conflict with quality number one, but it is in fact an essential element of it, and one of the most common ways for a friendship to be put to the test.

Mac the Knife
24th Mar 2005, 20:10
Among other things....

A good friend is someone who will loan you $1000 on the spot, with no questions asked. How many friends like that do you have?

My closest friend in all the world finally died three weeks ago - I feel...bereft.

SyllogismCheck
24th Mar 2005, 21:51
All the above - plus the ability to understand that in your eyes his sister was fair game. :O

Whirlygig
24th Mar 2005, 22:08
I'd like to echo all of the above but especially the point about being judgmental. Friends are not judgmental.

I got myself into a predicament recently and a close friend made it clear that they did not approve. But, as they said, whatever I do, they will support my decision. And you can't say fairer than that.

Blackshift's point is also very apt. A friend will say something that might seem hurtful but could be in your best interests in the long term.

A friend will care for your well-being, not just now but in the future and will look out for you in that respect; maybe helping you see the wood for the trees.

Cheers

Whirlygig

aged
24th Mar 2005, 22:08
SC - spot on!
Plus there's the old old definition which isn't always too far out:

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail in the early hours of the morning when you overdo it the night before

A best friend will be in the same cell saying "what a night"!!

airship
24th Mar 2005, 23:04
My best friend is myself. I learned that at an early age from me parents. They were only human after all and did the best they could, one imagines.

Later experience has proved that I'm not too far off the track either. The last time I had someone I once innocently considered a close friend around for dinner was in 1998 or thereabouts. I first met J**** in 1991. He had a very cute GF V******** at the time too. Anyway, they go off navigating the globe together. A year later, she comes back alone...and I get lumbered with all his stuff. I control myself, thinking that these are my good friends, don't take advantage of circumstances and don't fcuk her. Did I already say she was very cute?! J**** comes back from time to time, leaving souvenirs for me to look after from his adventures in distant places. These tend to be quite decorative so I hang up a few on my walls. I lose touch with V******** but bump into her one evening at a restaurant with her new beau, a rich hotellier. Later on I hear that she is pregnant. Anyway J**** tires of being a vagabond and finally comes back about 1997. Picks up most of his stuff, finds another GF and life went on. His new GF is half German-Tunisian and cooks very well. She's also cute. But they take away all my wall-decorations. We only live a few hundred metres apart. One day though, I suggest to J**** that they come round because I was cooking a curry that weekend. I was confounded by his response: "Is anyone else coming around too? We'd be glad to but..." I left it at that. I've sometimes wondered whether it was because they found me boring. Or that they didn't appreciate a quiet weekend without loud hiphop music, just good food (2nd helpings available and required), amiable conversation and the latest VHS release to fall asleep to afterwards. Well, I don't bother anymore. J**** is married now. V******** finally broke up with her rich hotellier. I haven't seen her for over 5 years now. But I did see her rich hotellier recently. Apparently he's lost his hotel, was asking for handouts on the street. I gave him 10 and thanked my lucky stars...

You got good friends...keep em to yourselves. I'll stick with stray cats thank you very much.

aged
24th Mar 2005, 23:11
Cheerio - It's Friday, 777 is a must! Got to go somewhere after the Mishka
I think I'm being watched

HandspringGuy
25th Mar 2005, 00:25
Friendship is like peeing your pants...




.......everyone can see it but only you can feel it's true warmth ;)

sprocket
25th Mar 2005, 00:28
One quality to look for in these parts, is someone who sticks around to help when you have been bitten on the arse by a red-bellied black or a redback spider. :suspect:

Binoculars
25th Mar 2005, 00:45
Sprocket, you're gonna be dead in ten minutes. boom boom....:hmm:

scm
25th Mar 2005, 01:45
airship is spot on

after some years one realizes that there really is no such thing as a "best friend"

sprocket
25th Mar 2005, 02:37
My best and good friend is my wife and closely followed by my three teenage kids. We all have the same sad sense of humour, the same bad moods and a similar sense of 'everything'.

:* .... But somehow I still think I would be dead in ten minutes too, Bino's.

k-lo
25th Mar 2005, 03:42
airship

i think you can have best friends, but you don't always have them for life. people change (especially with life experience) and like partnerships, you have to be ready to accept when its over.

its funny how important it is for us to end a dead relationship, but not a dead friendship.

How would we react if one of our friends ever said to us "i don't want to see you any more" ?

Has anyone had this happen?

Atlas Shrugged
29th Mar 2005, 01:54
A friend is someone with whom you can be yourself and bare your soul to. It's someone who asks nothing of you other than only to be what you are and someone who does not want you to be any better, any worse or any different.

When you are with them, you do not have to be on your guard, you can say what you think and do what you like, so long as it is genuinely you.

It's someone who understands the things in your nature that sometimes lead others to misjudge you and does not question them.

It's someone who is unconditionally loyal - who understands your vanities, jealousies, hates and absurdities. Whether you abuse them, neglect them, tolerate them or just be with them, it makes no difference. They like you anyway. You cry with them and laugh with them and they see, know, understand and trust you.

Very rare indeed.

flapsforty
29th Mar 2005, 06:19
Mac, I think you have written on these pages about travelling to see him. My condolences. Bereft is a lonely word.
It seems to me one of the true horrors of ageing; losing one's friends one by one.

k-lo, I have once ended a friendship with a girl/woman who was not content to let it quietly fade away. Didn't tell her I didn't want to see her anymore, but did say that for me, the friendship had changed into an aquaintanceship. It was good to spell it out, if not pleasant.

XXTSGR
29th Mar 2005, 11:26
Simple Friends Vs Real Friends Vs Flying Mates

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A flying mate has shoulders soggy and smelly from your projectile vomiting.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A flying mate invites them round to his place to get pissed while you are away.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A flying mate denies responsibility for that "Map of Australia" on your duvet.

A simple friend hates it when you call after they have gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A flying mate simply gets up, gets the towrope and pulls your car out of the ditch

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A flying mate is usually there to assist you in creating them

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A flying mate would blackmail you with it, but doesn't due fear of reprisal

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A flying mate quaffs all your beer, scoffs all the curry, blocks the WC and leaves you a note saying "Cheers Sucker"

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.
Flying mates argue constantly, usually that your touchdown was actually NOT "Like a cat pissing on velvet" and it IS in fact now your round.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you
A flying mate can at least discuss the heading, distance and en route time to "there."

A simple friend helps you move.
A real friend helps you move a body.
A flying mate helps as wingman, while you make a move on somebody.

tall and tasty
29th Mar 2005, 15:05
XXTSGR

Brillant and very very apt

TnT :ok:

Paterbrat
29th Mar 2005, 15:44
Liked Mads Dads and XXTetc's agreed with may others. One tends to have few real friends and always found mine to be the ones who regardless of time and distance apart always slotted right back into a complete happy synch on re-acquaintance. Some do change and drift away, some die, but then again we are given a life owe a death so it is the way of things, and true friends one of lifes pleasure along the road to be embraced with deep pleasure and apreciation.

Solid Rust Twotter
29th Mar 2005, 18:51
One considers oneself blessed with the friends one has.:ok:

SyllogismCheck
29th Mar 2005, 19:21
My friend, who I went AWOL on at about 11pm on Sunday evening thus leaving him locked out of my house where he was due to be crashing and in which his own house keys were safely secured and whom I then forgot all about until finally waking him up from his slumber on the cold hard porch floor by smashing him in the head with the door (twice 'cos I didn't know why it wouldn't open the first time :O ) when I finally staggered through it at 7am the following morning, is a friend indeed for instantly seeing the funny side as I stepped over him whilst casually asking if he slept well. :ok:

Now I come to think of it, he has a sister too.... :E

AntiCrash
30th Mar 2005, 03:46
A friend will help you move.

A Good friend will help you move again.

A Great friend will help you move a body...

IFTB
30th Mar 2005, 12:10
http://tinyurl.com/6vt3z



found it in another thread!

Omaha
30th Mar 2005, 12:13
A person that won't desert you when the going gets tough & who is not a user.

lasernigel
30th Mar 2005, 12:32
Some kind friend sent me this....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v284/lasernigel/friendshipwhale.jpg

do you think she's really a good friend??

airship
30th Mar 2005, 13:12
Seasons In The Sun (http://www.content.loudeye.com/scripts/hurl.exe?clipid=021404601090006550&cid=600111)
( Terry Jacks )

Goodbye to you my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we climbed hills and trees
Learned of love and A B C's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees

Goodbye my friend it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I'll be there

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons
Out of time......

Goodbye Papa please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along.

Goodbye Papa its hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Little children everywhere
When you see them I'll be there.

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons
Have all gone.

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons
Have all gone.

Goodbye Michelle my little one
You gave me love and helped me find the sun
And every time that I was down
You would always come around
And get my feet back on the ground.

Goodbye Michelle it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the stars we could reach
Were just starfish on the beach

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the stars we could reach
Were just starfish on the beach

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons
Have all gone

All our lives we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons
Out of time......

And one for Omaha...! (http://www.content.loudeye.com/scripts/hurl.exe?clipid=005193701010006900&cid=600111)

helidecks
4th Apr 2005, 08:41
Mates are always there for you. But the best friend I have is my girlfriend. She understands the way I tick and works it out being there for me before I have said there is a problem. Even when I have been to hell and back.

Landed me back on my feet and kissed away the pain. :cool:

That is a good friend

:ok: