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Wedge
15th Mar 2005, 13:48
http://gradezero.com/images/bmw.gif

Biggles Flies Undone
15th Mar 2005, 14:09
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v511/BFU/Image2.jpg

BillHicksRules
15th Mar 2005, 15:10
Wedge/BFU,

Hear, hear.

Cheers

BHR

eal401
15th Mar 2005, 15:24
If the BMW behind me has a personalised number plate, I can never tell, they are usually driving too close to me.

1DC
15th Mar 2005, 15:34
Came up behind an X5 the other day and at the bottom of the number plate where you would normally see the suppliers name it said "flash cow". Mind you she was dressed up like a chav and wearing the Essex facelift so I suppose it was appropriate..

BlueDiamond
15th Mar 2005, 15:44
Essex facelift??? :confused:

1DC
15th Mar 2005, 15:59
A woman could probably explain it better but they are blonde, comb their hair back very tightly with a lot of grease on it and get the tightest pony tail possible. This helps to pull the wrinkles out, hence essex facelift!.
At least that is what it seems like to a simple sailor like me.....

4PON4PIN
15th Mar 2005, 16:09
The other day I was cruising along as usual in my BMW coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.)

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?)

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!
See, now That's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW.

;)

radeng
15th Mar 2005, 16:33
What is the difference between a BMW and a hedgehog?















The hedgehog has the pricks on the outside!

Dozza2k
15th Mar 2005, 16:55
why are BMW's like piles????















because every @rsehole gets one eventually!



cheers!:ok:

Pablo Martin
15th Mar 2005, 16:59
Yer nice cars,

Shame about the sort of people who drive them!

Especially the drug dealer chavvy types who are 17 and 1 week old, thinking an insurance policy is some sort of extra unneeded expendature and are already driving their BMW M3 with 95" alloy wheels and little blue led's on the washer jets Grrrrrr..............:mad: :yuk:

And no offense intended because I'm sure this a minority thing, but in germany its worse! They actually think that autobahn's were made by BMW and they brought a members pass with their beemas. Like no1 else is allowed to drive on them!
Grrrrrrrrrrr...................................... :mad: :yuk:

End of rant

Not that I'm type casting or anything! :}

PM

simon brown
15th Mar 2005, 17:27
I think it stems from the fact that BMW have always been stingy with the extras and I guess in Germany indicators are considered an optional extra. I find that when used on BMWs, indicators are used in a retrospective fashion stating "look what ive just done" as opposed to "this is my intention"

White Van drivers are the same.

Im glad someone at BMW broke both of Chris Bangles hands and took his crayons away as their cars of late are pig, pig ugly

Mercs are unreliable now, so where does that lead every sensible person who wants to buy German .To Audi and Volkswagen, handsome , unpretentious quality motors with indicators...:ok:

Pablo Martin
15th Mar 2005, 17:37
I agree with Simon,

No1 can fault VW's new golf GTi, shear masterpeice, and they are amazingly comfortable and has been beaten generously with the extras stick, even the standard models.

Infinitly better than the new BWM 1 series, over priced and rubbish (apparently)

PM

mini
15th Mar 2005, 17:47
VW/Audi

Overpriced, overated and unreliable... ask someone in the trade...

Mini's a classic by the way so all the above apply :ok:

IB4138
15th Mar 2005, 18:33
The X3, what an overpriced piece of eastern block produced underpowered Cr*p!

chuks
15th Mar 2005, 19:49
On the other hand I think I could print that little sticker out in its original size, when many German BMW drivers would be able to read it, no problem. That would be because they do insist on getting uncomfortably close when waiting to overtake, yes!

Germany is cracking down on tailgating, but only after a woman and her child died after she was frightened off the road. Mind you, that was a test driver for Mercedes in an S600. I think he is now appealing a jail sentence.

Cuddles
15th Mar 2005, 19:58
A bloke I know, who is, erm, careful with the pennies was looking into a personal plate for his car, but the ones he liked were in the region of £1000, so he went off to the local council offices, clutching £50.
Now we have to call him X225 LMP

tall and tasty
15th Mar 2005, 20:17
A woman could probably explain it better but they are blonde, comb their hair back very tightly with a lot of grease on it and get the tightest pony tail possible. This helps to pull the wrinkles out, hence essex facelift!.


Essex girls and face lifts are another thread I think :p :ok:

but

I always just thought it was me who did not BMW drivers! :O

Refreshing to see I am not the only one! But it is true they drive like they own the road! Yesterday saw one hit the curb shoot across the road in front of me and then carry on driving on the wrong side of the road! Thank god nothing was coming the other way or it could have been nasty for all involved. :eek:

TnT :p

SilsoeSid
15th Mar 2005, 20:20
I've got indicators!!!

There's me thinking the lighting stalk was only there for me to flash my xenon headlights at all the oiks on the road, as I come tonning up behind them telling to get out of my lane!!

Then they have the gaul to flash me as I get in front!

Still, nothing that a convenient windscreen/headlight wash doesn't sort out. :E

If the BMW behind me has a personalised number plate, I can never tell, they are usually driving too close to me. GET OUT OF THE WAY THEN!What is the difference between a BMW and a hedgehog? The hedgehog has the pricks on the outside! CORRECT, THE OTHER ROAD USERS!


The reason I have the registration W4 NKR is because I am able to tell you what I think of you as I pass, you wouldn't be able to see me mouthing it through my blackened windows. :p


Of course, Mrs Sid doesn't drive the beemer, cause she's a classy bird. :=


edited for spooling errers!

Loki
15th Mar 2005, 21:52
I`ve just been down to the garage to check: BMW number one has indicators! They even work! (not surprising, it is a BMW). I have no reason to suspect that the other one (usually driven by Mrs Loki) is any different.

Jerricho
15th Mar 2005, 21:59
nd has been beaten generously with the extras stick,

I think you mean beaten generously with the ugly stick. Those things look stupid.

Pablo Martin
15th Mar 2005, 22:02
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!!!
Ahh....these old cliches! Utter Brillience!

Suppose even Chris Bangles thought his new BMWs were pretty.

Has anyone looked into his references/given him an eye test recently?
:} :8

PM

innuendo
16th Mar 2005, 03:37
Envy, envy, envy, tsk,tsk.

chuks
16th Mar 2005, 07:57
At least I think he is... or else he's from California, which also doesn't count as one against us septics.

There was a wonderful magazine interview with the great designer, when he stated that he had designed the 7 series in accordance with the very latest and most advanced principles which were totally correct and cutting-edge. If hordes of sad customers didn't get it and took their dosh to the Mercedes dealer that was none of his concern.

I don't know what happened after that but there must have been some kind of reality check administered, since the new 6 series looks much more like a car and much less like some alarmingly bright art student's design study for 'the car of the future' after too many late nights at the drawing board. It's still a bit ugly but not gut-wrenchingly so.

And the 3 series looks almost normal. They cannot afford to fool around with that one, since it's the bread-and-butter model that must sell well. Maybe they sent Bangle off to a spa in the mountains somewhere and put the real designers to work on the 3 to finish it before he got back.

If you have any chav tendencies at all you should check out the wonderful lines of BMW accessories that are available. Underwear, outerwear, keyrings, belt buckles, mobile phone holders, baseball caps (of course!), all sporting a tasteful blue and white logo to tell a waiting world that you are one of the elite.

I bought two motorcycle keyrings, one for my BMW and one for my wife's Yamaha. It is just that they are very practical, with a way to separate the other keys from the ignition key. Well, that's my excuse. And they don't have the logo, either!

Happy motoring!

High Wing Drifter
16th Mar 2005, 08:21
Well I decided to get rid of my 3 series and replace it with a Punto. Am I bonkers?

waldopepper42
16th Mar 2005, 09:01
High wing drifter...

YES! :E

Dolphins
16th Mar 2005, 09:10
Er yes mate, you are.

Well, I drive a BMW, as does my wife, and I sincerley hope I dont fit into any of the catagories depicted above.

I love the fact its extremely solid, fast and well made.

I also have everything off the options list, so it has more toys than any other make of car I looked at. I like that. I like pressing a keyfob to open the car, and watching my seat move to my preset position, and my radio tune to my favourite station. I like hearing the backing singers take an intake of breath, something I had never heard before, on certain Robbie Williams tracks when I turn on the Harmon Kardon sound system; you know, that sort of thing.

It also has a phenomenal chassis; something the Audi range I test drove simply couldn't compete on. I started my working life in motorsport, so I feel at least vaguely qualified to asses these things.

Funninly enough, I also know what the indicators are for. And how to flash people out at junctions.

The dealer service is outstanding to (he has won Dealer of the year before from the UK BMW network)

The only thing I dont like is immature, jealous people who try to cut you up, or stop you joining the carriageway at slip roads just because of the car you drive. There actions are very often not just immature, but plainly dangerous.

Of course, in such company as this website, this does not apply to anyone on here. Obviously.

If it does, then go out and get a life, and give yourself a shake. Tosser.

Dolphins

Kolibear
16th Mar 2005, 09:30
The most expensive part of a BMW is the badge.

The suppliers who make parts for BMW are the same companies who make parts for other car manufacturers.They use the same processes and components for each manufacturer. A part for a BMW, ex-works price, willl be roughly the same as that for an equivalent manufacturer.

Dolphins
16th Mar 2005, 09:45
Thats funny Kolibear; for a day job I am a consultant for a huge Japanese firm, and its my fibre optics and lasers which the OEM's use (and I spec up) which make the actual car parts.

So, I'm qualified to talk on this one from an industry point of view, not just in-the-pub-type opinions.

I can assure you, that not all companies have the same specification on quality required of parts as BMW have. 1 other I know of, thats another high volume manufacturer, does, but thats it friend.

There cars are also built to a 7 point fail system, thats higher than anyone does it. If anyone else on here works in the motor manufacturing industry, they'll know what I'm talking about.

For the layman, simpler terms; you dont get a reputation of building good cars by building crap ones.

Dolphins

UL730
16th Mar 2005, 10:15
The front impact composite compression crush tubes sub set behind the bumpers of BMW vehicles are definitely made to a higher standard than others I have seen.

BMW are a very demanding customer both in FI via Williams and road vehicles.

I shudder by comparison with the standards set in nuclear and aerospace engineering.

Damsel
16th Mar 2005, 11:56
Dolphins:
I also have the Harmon Kardon sound system in my car and it is fantastic isn't it?

Honestly you lot seem to drag out the old "I hate BMW drivers" with such regularity it becomes very boring!

High Wing Drifter
16th Mar 2005, 12:29
The dealer service is outstanding to (he has won Dealer of the year before from the UK BMW network)
Yes, the dealers are class apart. Even with my seven year old car, which I have owned for five years, I get the new car customer treatment. Also, servicing and bodyshop work is always cheaper, completed on time and done to 1st class standards when compared to the average garage that usually fixes two things and then breaks one.

They lent me two 1 series for two days, gave me the opportunity to realise just what a good car it is. Would be my first choice if I decided to replace my car with another BMW. But unfortunately for me, flying gets the disposable cash priority and I would rather fly more.

Biggles Flies Undone
16th Mar 2005, 12:35
Teasing BMW drivers is a bit of a Jet Blast sport – just like teasing the French. There’s no real malice behind it and someone generally bites :p

German cars seem to polarise their owner’s perceptions of their advantages. Chat to a VW owner and chances are he will focus on build quality and resale value. Audi owners talk about the vorsprung durch teknik, 4WD systems and advanced electronics. Porsche owners love to discuss performance, handling and the history of Porsche. BMW owners, for some reason, are obsessed with their car’s list of optional extras....

noisy
16th Mar 2005, 13:05
Don't knock them until you've driven one

Indeed, I have heard that they are phonomenal. However, more than any other vehicle on the road I have noticed that they are driven with great aggression. I wonder if this bears out in accident statistics? Does the design of the vehicles encourage fast and hard driving?

I mean, you don't see people in Alfa's cutting people up.

N

BillHicksRules
16th Mar 2005, 13:22
Cosmos,

I think you will find that it is the drivers of BMWs that are being knocked and not the cars themselves.

Cheers

BHR

p.s. I much prefer a nice Jag

patdavies
16th Mar 2005, 13:24
I mean, you don't see people in Alfa's cutting people up.

Since we're talking stereotypes......


That's usually because they are broken down at the side of the road rusting gently

UL730
16th Mar 2005, 13:26
Mrs Flaps

Mr Biggles Flies Undone is teasing us. Can you sort him out?

:\

Send Clowns
16th Mar 2005, 13:35
BHRI much prefer a nice JagThe difference is, of course, style. The Jag has it, the beemer doesn't. It does have a fin at the back, though :confused: At least the 7 series does.

BMWs are just too brash and aggressive, too showy but also with hard, square, almost brutal lines, so perhaps attracts that type of person, hence the complaints about their driving (which seem in my excperience to be a reasonable generalisation). ANd how ugly is that 1 Series? Every review I have seen has panned it for value at the very least. Seems to be inferior to something like a Focus but for more money.

noisy
16th Mar 2005, 13:42
I have never minded the way BMWs look, but they are driven so carelessly!

Biggles Flies Undone
16th Mar 2005, 13:54
Don't knock them until you've driven one
I've driven lots of BMW's, but out of the five major German makes (VW, Audi, Porsche, Mercedes and BMW), the only one I've never owned is a BMW.

Well built cars, a bit expensive but generally quite easy on the eye. I quite like the M3 but, to be honest, I've always been put off by the general perception that the average BMW driver is a bit of a money-fixated plank*.

* naturally, that doesn't apply to PPRuNers who are a considerable cut above the average.

chuks
16th Mar 2005, 14:16
Here in Germany you can be cut up by anybody driving just about anything. I have had the '6 inches off the back bumper-get out of my way-I am coming through' treatment from SUVs, Mercs, BMWs, Audis, etc., etc.' Never from a Fiat or a Trabant, though.

The new BMWs do have a very agressive 'face' due to the way the headlights are styled. In the mirrors it looks as if Mr Angry is back there, even when nothing in particular is going on.

I really enjoyed a guy on a BMW K100RS motorcycle trying to come over all agressive once. He almost ran off the Autobahn at 100+ mph while looking over his shoulder and waving his fist at me. I was impressed! All I had done was to pass a slower car travelling slower than the K100RS was moving. I wanted some way to tell him that if I had known he would be using the highway that day we would have stayed home.

As to quality, we have had our BMW 325i car for eleven years now with one minor problem fixed under warranty when the car was almost new. Since then, nothing but enjoyable driving.

I was just at the dealer's, buying a new motorcycle rainsuit for a trip to Amsterdam. The tags inside have little perforations so that one can separate the bit that reads 'Made in China' from the bit that reads 'BMW'. Being some sort of closeted chav I took that option.

Then I bought my 13 year-old son a t-shirt with a BMW logo. It is best to start them young if you expect them to reach the peaks of chavness, yes?

And for the wife, a new BMW 6-series cabriolet. Also made in China, since it's just a scale model. Sorry about that, darling!

Dolphins
16th Mar 2005, 14:49
Hah Cosmos, never mind, its the drivers that are getting a slagging apparently, and not the cars (according to a certain poster)

Such generalisations are up there on a level as far as I'm concerned with the "Israel is evil, America is evil, yada yada yada" generalisations found elsewhere.

You know what? Whatever.

All I can say is, as we all adide by hotel lobby rules here, I really wish this WAS a hotel lobby.....because then if someone who doesn't know me starts calling me a **** purely because of my car, then he gets a real 2 for 1 deal; I practice an Israeli martial art, and he sure as hell gets to find this out. Then he can bitch about those 2 things from hospital when he gets his knees and neck metal pinned back together. Really fuel his stereotypes.

Dolphins

Biggles Flies Undone
16th Mar 2005, 14:52
they come from Munich
Can you tell me where that is published, Cosmos? I'm not trying to wind you up, I'm genuinely interested in seeing the current rankings.

Then he can bitch about those 2 things from hospital when he gets his knees and neck metal pinned back together.
I hope you leave that attitude on the kerb when you get in the car, mate! :eek:

Biggles Flies Undone
16th Mar 2005, 15:03
Cheers, Cosmos :ok: I know that at the mid-point 04 the title rested in Stuttgart - but BMW are experiencing record sales at the moment, so they can't be all bad!

Pablo Martin
16th Mar 2005, 15:03
Look if you drive a BMW and your not one of the pr*cks reffered to above then ignore it, maybe even laugh, its just a generalisation and there are always exceptions, but for god sake stop taking it soo damn seriously! Take the joke, and appreciate how other people view it! :*

Dolphins
16th Mar 2005, 15:43
"but the character still seems to be there "

Agreed; Alfa male of the highest order. I admit that, be it in work or at the gym.

However, unlike some I am neither petty, snide, judgemental nor a bully.

So I have no issues with my character; were I the type to have a go at some people on the flimsiest of preconceptions and try and dress it up as "merely banter", then I would on the other hand have some soul searching to do.

Dolphins.

PilotsPal
16th Mar 2005, 15:47
Alpha male in work or the gym? What's the point? The only place for a true alpha male is in the bedroom.

Agreed, BFU?

Biggles Flies Undone
16th Mar 2005, 15:56
:rolleyes: With you all the way, PP :ok: :E

Jerricho
16th Mar 2005, 16:07
Wow, this is great. We've gone from slagging Beemers to Israeli martial arts in a couple of pages.

*Gets comfy and cracks a beer*

Hey Plaz, you got THAT picture handy?

transvixen
16th Mar 2005, 16:15
Woah boys, calm down a bit will you???? Take a chill pill!

As a female driver of a BMW (company car, my personal choice would be a Porsche if I could afford it!) who drives aggressively (not because I drive a BMW but because I can't abide a**holes thinking they can cut me up and treat me like s**t because I'm a blonde female) I can honestly say that it doesn't matter what sort of car someone drives, if they want to drive aggressively they will, whether they are caning the butt out of their 1.1 Punto Sporting or leathering the ass out of their XK8, an aggressive driver is an aggressive driver. However there is a difference between being aggressive and being dangerous. I will only retaliate if someone forces me to brake or swerve, otherwise they can have their little road rage incidents elsewhere. I know what my car can do (which isn't very much compared to some :( ) so I don't feel the need to prove it to every boy racer who sees the badge and wants to ruin his tyres and blow up his engine.

I don't think there's any need for posters to be nasty or threaten violence because of something someone says on a website. Sticks and stones and all that....

Jerricho
16th Mar 2005, 16:37
Israeli martial art? Does that involve throwing palm dates at each other?

Sorry Onan, your joke!

simon brown
16th Mar 2005, 17:57
Give me an A8 or and XJ6 over a 7 series any time.

The A8 is anonymous, not in your face but very nicely designed and the Jag XJ8 is the best looking saloon ever built. 7 series is ugly slab sided and awful.

Ive owned several BMWs and to my reconing they are no better or no worse than the Audis and Mercs ive had apart from Audis have superb attention to detail when it comes to design.

chuks
16th Mar 2005, 19:56
We were on a ski holiday with some friends. We had our elderly VW Passat and they had a nice new Audi A6. The best part of the holiday was giving the friend a jump start from the Passat when the Audi wouldn't start.

Anyone who knows me would know that I am not the sort of person to take advantage of something like that happening. Much.

lottiloo
16th Mar 2005, 19:58
Love anyone who drives a German car whether it is BMW, Audi or Merc at least they are built to last.

:}

Loki
16th Mar 2005, 20:02
It`s the engineering I like. The handle which springs out from the radiator grill when the bonnet release is activated is a good example.

I had to replace a rear light bulb the other day; not only did the telltale indicate which bulb had gone U/S, but the replacement took all of 30 seconds. All my previous vehicles caused a certain amount of grief in similar situations.

Pablo Martin
16th Mar 2005, 20:02
I can only speak for myself here.

But as I did say in an earlier post I was typecasting. Apart from the fact that it doesnt annoy me that much!

I was only reffering to the BMW drivers who do drive like they rule the road etc. That, by no means includes all of you.

My dad was once a BMW driver and no, he wasnt a saint but, he wasnt the sort of person who would tailgate, run people off the road etc.

I appreciate that there are quite a few BMW drivers on here and most of you are probably sensible people and not the sort of drivers I was reffering to! (Or at least I would like to think your not ;) )I was merely stating that there are more BMW drivers out there, who are the type I was referring to, than with any other make of car. I don't think I'm the only one to recognise this.

PM

P.S. Don't mistake this for back-peddling! ;)

Frank Furillo
16th Mar 2005, 20:16
Well if its have a dig at idiots,why not mention..........
Subaru's.
Idiots who drive Corsa's, Nova's, Calibra's any any other type of car which has a stupid looking bodykit on it.
People who drive in the middle lane of the motorway at 50MPH when the inside lane is empty, oh and the same goes for the outside lane as well.
Prats talking on mobiles whie driving.
White Van Man.
Old codgers or just plain fools who drive everywhere at 40 to 50 mph regardless of the speed limits.
People who cut you up.
Stupid pepole who have to race you at the lights just because you have a BMW coupe.
I could go on....

Yes I do drive a BMW, its a 1999 E36, 318is Coupe, I bought it new its done 57K, and looks and drives like new. The handling is awesome, as is the build quality.
I know where the indicators are and try to drive in accordance with Roadcraft (The police driving handbook). You see I am a member of the Institute of Advanced Motorists, have been for many years.
Everybody calling these cars should take a good look in the mirror. Nasty thing jealousy.
FF

Onan the Clumsy
16th Mar 2005, 20:20
You forgot "People smoking pipes"

Pablo Martin
16th Mar 2005, 20:21
Well, yer FF you pretty much covered the whole lot there!

Good job

PM

Jerricho
16th Mar 2005, 21:48
Subaru's.

Hey, I resemble that!!!! WRXs are good fun in the snow though :E

I mentioned it before, a guy I know was all proud when he purchased a new Saab 92X. Carrying on about European styling, build quality and such. Should have seen the look on his face when I parked my Scooby next to his and told him to try and count the number of "similar" parts. Plus mines quicker ;)

SilsoeSid
17th Mar 2005, 01:11
Further to a comment in my last post;

"The reason I have the registration W4 NKR is because I am able to tell you what I think of you as I pass, you wouldn't be able to see me mouthing it through my blackened windows."

I am pleased to announce that I have just ordered my new X5 4.8is, (0-60 -6.1 sec, 153 mph, loads of CO2 !), for delivery in September and having contacted the DVLA, I was able to reserve my next registration number.

http://www.plates4less.co.uk/images/NumberPlateGraphics/T.gif http://www.plates4less.co.uk/images/NumberPlateGraphics/O.gif http://www.plates4less.co.uk/images/NumberPlateGraphics/5.gif http://www.plates4less.co.uk/images/NumberPlateGraphics/5.gif http://www.plates4less.co.uk/images/NumberPlateGraphics/E.gif http://www.plates4less.co.uk/images/NumberPlateGraphics/R.gif http://www.plates4less.co.uk/images/NumberPlateGraphics/S.gif

Despite the cost, I think it's the best 2 grand I've spent in a while, I hope the drivers of other makes of vehicles on my roads acknowledge my feelings for them as I drive past. :p

BillHicksRules
17th Mar 2005, 08:09
Dolphins,

"Israeli Martial Art"

Stop please you are making laugh too hard.

Cheers

BHR

chuks
17th Mar 2005, 08:37
Sorry to diverge from slagging off BMW drivers (well, not really, since we have one car and one bike with the hated blue and white propeller badge ourselves but never mind that) but what, exactly, constitutes an Israeli martial art?

Would that be getting your opponent to marry a yenta? Then he would wish he was dead and would probably just sit in the corner brooding rather than come over to duff you up.

Or perhaps kvetching, so that he would go away and leave you alone?

Walking around handcuffed to an attorney with a briefcase full of writs?

Or is this the famous Mag Krava, as practiced by Madge the Kabbalist? She looked pretty scary even before she told us about that. But why then does she use bodyguards?

And how often does it come into use, this art? As in: once a day, twice a week, biannually, biennially, choose one.

Is it easy to use?

Can one learn through a correspondance course, as one used to see piano lessons offered before the Truth in Advertising Laws began to bite?

transvixen
17th Mar 2005, 08:45
I suppose Dolphins was pretty full on and it appears froim his postings that he may have anger management issues but taking the mick isn't making you guys any better. It's very easy to hide behind a computer screen but the phrase "all talk and no action" comes to mind when I read some of the responses. Talk is cheap. Can we get back to the point of the thread and "play nice"?

eal401
17th Mar 2005, 09:08
However there is a difference between being aggressive and being dangerous. I will only retaliate if someone forces me to brake or swerve, otherwise they can have their little road rage incidents elsewhere.
That has to be the funniest quote I have seen in a long time!!!

If you retaliate, you are a dangerous driver. Safe drivers just shrug their shoulders and carry on.

simon brown
17th Mar 2005, 12:29
SiloeSid

I am pleased to announce that I have just ordered my new X5 4.8is, (0-60 -6.1 sec, 153 mph, loads of CO2 !), for delivery in September and having contacted the DVLA, I was able to reserve my next registration number.

It'll be a long wait until 2055 to get that one besides ive seen that one many times before.

X5 eh , you dont expect to do any off roading then .If you do, expect to be overhauled by a clapped out landrover as your wide low profiles do sod all except churn up the mud...:E

buy the waay mayt , yaaaw awre con-sider-ub -loy richer than moye:ok:

buy a Range Rover its a proper off roader

chuks
17th Mar 2005, 12:49
Sorry madam! (Tug of electronic forelock) There is just something about watching a partridge booming away, proclaiming himself King of the Woods that triggers my basically adolescent sense of humour.

You have to admit it's sort of incongruous. Japan, yes, Korea, of course, but Israel? What sort of 'art' art thou speaking of then? The tiny mind boggles.

They used to make a car in Israel, you know... does that count? It was pretty obnoxious but I don't know that it ever actually hurt anyone. 20 trivia points to the first Prooner who can 'Name that Car!'

As to the rest of it, safe driving is mostly about reacting defensively to some of the homicidal idiots one shares the road with. That usually consists of leaving them with a feeling that they have 'won.' Well, up until you can get the police on the in-car mobile phone to pass along an on-the-scene complaint about daft driving, as increasingly happens here in Germany. Retaliating is right out in terms of safety.

BTW, just making hand gestures at another driver here in Germany can attract a hefty fine. Strange but true....

SilsoeSid
17th Mar 2005, 12:54
simon brown;It'll be a long wait until 2055 to get that one.....
How do you work that out? :confused: Please go HERE (http://www.dvla.gov.uk/vehicles/regmarks/reg_marks_identifiers.htm) and look at 'September 2005' in the age identifiers list to see your mistake. Besides, next door have a '54' plate, so unless they are time lords............?

Off roading ! Good god no, just the morning school run and odd trip down the motorway for a bit of shopping at the mall.

BMW website;
The X5 is a truly dynamic driving machine - the world's first Sports Activity Vehicle......

......Never before will you have felt so involved, so in control. From now on you will view every road and every journey from an entirely new perspective.
Sports activity , it will take me to the snooker hall on a saturday afternoon.
New perspective , as in looking down on the oiks!

BOFH
17th Mar 2005, 12:57
BTW, just making hand gestures at another driver here in Germany can attract a hefty fine. Strange but true....

8000 DEM for flipping the bird (third digit) - I remember that!

I always used the Victory sign, or hummed the Dambusters march when it became too much.

If you seek revenge on the road, remember to dig more than one grave.

BOTH

simon brown
17th Mar 2005, 13:05
Siloe Sid

How do you work that out? Please go HERE and look at 'September 2005' in the age identifiers list to see your mistake. Besides, next door have a '54' plate, so unless they are time lords............?

Yep you are right ...that why I drive a '55 plate Bentley .....want next weeks lottery numbers....:ok:

SilsoeSid
17th Mar 2005, 13:49
Simon, thanks for the offer on the lottery numbers, but I'd rather let someone else have a chance of enhancing their lives. One can only have so much fortune.

You have a '55' plate already, mmm, I'm sure the DVLA would like a word!!!:suspect: :ooh:

You may have 55 on your Bentleys registration, but it won't be on a '55' plate. Still, only 6 months 'til you may be legal. ;)

Besides, the only Bentleys one sees these days are being driven out of travellers camps, and I have always said that a tow bar spoils the look of any personal vehicle. :ouch:

simon brown
17th Mar 2005, 13:57
the late Siloe Sid

Look likes my time machine has stopped six months hence.I regret to inform you, that as a theiving Gypsy B*****d, I mistakenly ran you over in 6 weeks time, whilst pulling your X5 off of a small dog turd it couldnt negotiate, out side your mock tudor Barratt home;) lucky white heather anyone

RIP;)

Biggles Flies Undone
17th Mar 2005, 14:05
Chaps, that is some of the best banter I've seen in ages :D Absolutely what this thread should be all about and an amazing contrast to all the nastiness that was being spouted yesterday. Well done! :ok:

simon brown
17th Mar 2005, 14:20
That belongs in a skip , next to my caravan, which is now parked in Siloes front garden...sorry about the gnomes Siloe...


Back to the original theme of the thread, My Audi is great but handles like a pig

FourSprung Pork Technik:ok:

Biggles Flies Undone
17th Mar 2005, 14:23
It looks remarkably like an A40 front and a Lada rear.... :sad:

simon brown
17th Mar 2005, 14:30
BFU

It is. Its one of my cut and shuts that help make ends meet as a T.G.B.

I'll offer it to Siloe as a peace offering, as its build quality is far better than those South African built X5s:ok:

Biggles Flies Undone
17th Mar 2005, 14:44
Hey Simon, I think I can just spot your caravan in the background......

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v511/BFU/oops.jpg

chuks
17th Mar 2005, 15:27
That makes two of them, then!

The one I was thinking of came out some time in the early sixties. It was a plastic-bodied 'sports' car that used Ford running gear, I believe.

I not only saw and touched but also sat in one. The experience left me unstirred but then the car was at a Fiat-Abarth dealer's. Compared to those roller skates on steroids the Israeli offering came off looking distinctly second-best. In fact, the only thing pukier that I can recall off the top of my head was a DAF Daffodil. It was quite, uh, dafft. I had the use of one, when I would get stuck on a piece of discarded chewing gum trying to pull away from the lights.

I will give you a hint: The name meant something like 'prune' in Hebrew. I cannot recall how they planned to sell them in the States. Perhaps every congregation had to buy one to drive on the Day of Atonement? I only saw the one....

Another 20 points in play here, so come on!

Back then, of course, it was 'open season' in the States, since we had no particular safety standards until that party-pooper Ralph Nader got going. All sorts of weird junk used to populate American roads, much of it made right there at home.

I used to have the fore-runner of today's SUV. I am referring of course to the International Harvester Travel-All. Back then driving a two-ton small truck was merely stupid and hazardous to other road users rather than fashionable, but then you are only young once. Worn-out drum brakes meant stopping distances usually associated with oil tankers.

Jerricho
17th Mar 2005, 15:31
Besides, next door have a '54' plate, so unless they are time lords............?

Ah, probably the crowning achievement of wankerism in the UK. The number plate thing.

100k for a number plate? What a crock.

Biggles Flies Undone
17th Mar 2005, 15:31
Is this (http://www.jalopnik.com/cars/retro/shalom-sabra-the-cars-of-israel-035082.php) the one, chuks?

simon brown
17th Mar 2005, 15:34
BFU

Naah its me brothers ice cream van which he uses as a front for drug dealing. Unfortunately some of the villagers got upset and set fire to his X5. It amazing how much mess a half ton of stolen Elizabeth Duke jewellery can make too..:E

transvixen
17th Mar 2005, 16:20
EAL401 - in your opinion. By retaliating I simply mean I won't allow them to cut me up, force me to race or force me off the road. I retaliate by driving beside them, putting down my window and making them feel like the brainless, pathetic wasters they really are.............in fact I'm sure our paths have crossed before. Think before you open your mouth in future - retaliating does NOT make me a dangerous driver.

Jerricho
17th Mar 2005, 16:35
putting down my window and making them feel like the brainless, pathetic wasters they really are

If you honestly believe this is what your actions will cause the person on the receiving end of your "retaliation" to feel, I'm sorry Vixen but you're deluding yourself.

noisy
17th Mar 2005, 16:43
retaliating does NOT make me a dangerous driver.

Please remember that a driving licence is a priviledge and not your god given right. :*

chuks
17th Mar 2005, 17:52
The 20 trivia points are yours, Biggles. If you want to cash them in, though, you need to seem me during normal office hours in the BRC Bar on Latif Salami Street, Ajao Estate, Isolo, Lagos, Nigeria. I reckon you can get one (1) beverage of your choice and a nice helping of fresh 'suya' for your 20 points. Same deal for that other guy, too.

I don't know how you guys do it, but a simple jape unleashed a veritable avalanche of information about some of the ugliest cars I have ever seen in my life. The poor little Sabra looked like the pick of the litter in among that pack of hounds.

Biggles Flies Undone
18th Mar 2005, 09:38
Ummm..... chuks....... one is tempted to enquire what the booby prize might be :sad:

Rushton
18th Mar 2005, 09:47
Getting back to to the indicator problem on BMWs - I have to congratulate a BMW driver I saw coming towards me yesterday. Brand new model, personalised plate, keeping a decent seperation from the car in front, indicating right in good time. All this achieved with a phone clamped to his ear and one hand on the wheel, and his "I'm a rally driver" fog lamps on (broad daylight). Actually think the fog lamps were a reflection from the heavy gold chain round his neck.:E

Bre901
18th Mar 2005, 10:11
Very foggy this morning, the only car I saw without any lights switched on was ...
a silver beemer (which means I saw it very late)

chuks
18th Mar 2005, 10:18
Dear Biggles,

The booby prize? Anyone who comes to Isolo just for a drink and some suya is a booby! That is to say, they have to pay me to get me to show up there! Still, the offer stands to both you and Cheerio. My hat is off to your shared ability to bring down an avalanche of electronic bumpf on such internet newbies as me.

BTW, isn't it interesting how this sort of a posting really, but really, brings out the best in people. This one guy goes around dotting people using some hard-to-imagine 'art', while someone else simply pulls up alongside to scream and gesticulate over the howling engine and screaming tires, as a way of showing their own self-posession. Well, whatever gets you through the day.

Back in Lagos we have this one driver, a big, bullet-headed bloke, who often feels compelled to turn his head through 160° sideways out the window to the left while bucketing along in heavy traffic, just to sort out other road-users. I am not sure if he has a particular attitude towards BMW drivers, since he seems to hate everyone, but when I get back I will ask him and report back.

I myself am now off to Amsterdam by road, using, yes, a vehicle with that blue and white propeller badge. But it only has two wheels, so that I don't cut up anyone! And the blinkers, yes, I use them all the time, and the mirrors and the heated grips and the....

sorry, I dozed off there for a minute. Is it time for lunch yet?

AUTOGLIDE
18th Mar 2005, 10:28
Loki,

When you typed this:

"It`s the engineering I like. The handle which springs out from the radiator grill when the bonnet release is activated is a good example.

I had to replace a rear light bulb the other day; not only did the telltale indicate which bulb had gone U/S, but the replacement took all of 30 seconds. All my previous vehicles caused a certain amount of grief in similar situations"I

I apologise if i missed any irony here, but the bonnet handle that pops out of the grill has been used by Skoda for years...and a lot of those ten year old Astra's and Cavalier's you still see also tell you when a bulb has blown, what's so clever about that?
I've had 2 BMW's (3 Series) and they were both unreliable, constant electrical problems. Plus i got fed up with the downmarket baseball cap image so traded up to a Ford Diesel which also happens to be faster and more reliable.

:ok:

Onan the Clumsy
18th Mar 2005, 13:34
some of the ugliest cars I have ever seen in my life No no no. That HAS to be anything made by Lexus

Jerricho
18th Mar 2005, 16:02
Me vote for that abortion on wheels the Fiat Multipla (http://www.tiscali.co.uk/motoring/roadtests/roadtest_241_1.html)

halo
18th Mar 2005, 17:29
I know a lot of people hate BMW drivers which is why I am on what would appear to be a one man BMW driver crusade. My policies are as follows:
- Always let people out of side streets
- Always cheerfully wave and thank other drivers if they do something nice for you
- Never blast along at 110mph... Most BMWs are fitted with cruise control, so why not take the pressure off driving and leave it sat at 70mph
- Never get involved with street racing chavvy arsed spotty goiks in plastic kit cars
- Always use the indicators. There is no doubt some little German bloke, who is probably called Hans or Wolfgang or something similar, that has spent his entire career at BMW carefully and delicately designing indicator systems and wondering why nobody pays any attention to his lifes work.
- Never sit in the 2nd or 3rd lane if there are no cars in the first one. Come on, admit it... you all do it.... I've seen you.... slowlanephobia.... don't wanna look a tool in your Daewoo Matiz so you sit in the middle lane. I bet U make vrummm vrummm noises while U drive as well
- Never run red lights. This one does my nut. I've lost track of the number of times I've watched tqqsers in their flash cars nearly t-bone other people because they've jumped the lights
- Never sit at lights revving the engine..... Come on, be honest... you look a tw8t doing it!!
- Never bang on a like a berk about how great your car is. Nobody really gives a $#1T

There ya go folks. Who's going to join me in my crusade? Let's chance the face of BMW motoring forever. Stand up for all BMW motorists everywhere that treat other road users with respect and are sick of being lumped into the same category as the chavs and the suits!

Wholigan
18th Mar 2005, 19:59
God - I'm soooo confused! I now don't know whether to drive like an arrogant to$$er when in my BMW, or like the Pope when I'm in my Citroen Berlingo with the hound in the back, or like a laid-back aristocrat when driving my 1972 Jaguar XJ6. Of course ---- I could always revert to my old Volvo driving ways and jump a few walls. Perhaps I should put this in Agony Aunt.

"Confused of Somerset"

Loki
18th Mar 2005, 20:48
Autoglide:

I defer to your obvious superior knowledge of motor cars.

However, the things of which I spoke were not in any of my previous vehicles (Peugeots, Rover, Renaults).

Did the bulb indicator show which bulb had failed, as mine does BTW?

SilsoeSid
18th Mar 2005, 22:34
halo, bro' BM driver, I feel that I must comment on your last post.

Reading between the lines, is this what you mean?

Never bang on a like a berk about how great your car is. - They should already know this!
Always use the indicators. - But not necessarily to indicate which way you are actually going!
Always let people out of side streets - Nice one, winds up those behind you in the flow of traffic!
Never sit at lights revving the engine. - Keep at max revs and when you get green, drop the clutch rally style!
Never run red lights. - Or even ambers. Stopping at Ambers always gets the drivers behind especially if you brake late!
...why not take the pressure off driving and leave it (cruise cont.) sat at 70mph - And sit in the outside lane enjoying your Mozart CD!
Always cheerfully wave and thank other drivers.. - Even better if they are wound up at you, seems to make things more interesting!
Never get involved with street racing chavvy arsed spotty goiks in plastic kit cars - - Always go for the Vectra driver,.... sorry same person!
Never sit in the 2nd or 3rd lane if there are no cars in the first one. - However if the racing line around a corner dictates it, the road is yours!

SS

:E

Capt.KAOS
18th Mar 2005, 23:36
The other day I was cruising along as usual in my BMW coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.)

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?)

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're ?20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW.

The Invisible Cat
18th Mar 2005, 23:51
Already posted on Same thread - 1st page (http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=1795924&highlight=BMW+AND+licence#post1795924)
:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Which was itself yet another repost :
19th March 2003 : http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=809537&highlight=BMW+AND+licence#post809537
8th December 2002 : http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=709388&highlight=BMW+AND+licence#post709388

pic (http://gallery.elvado.de/albums/structure/USER-RELATED/misc/search%20engine(ok)/search-button-for-dummies.jpg)
Kudos to MrChips for that great pic.

[edited to ask why one can't have that [email protected]@dy image appear in one's post ??]
:confused:

SyllogismCheck
19th Mar 2005, 00:06
Cos that thar address at which it's hosted is too long TIC. :8

The Invisible Cat
19th Mar 2005, 00:10
Why does it work on the JB ROE thread (http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=144080), then ?
:confused: :confused:
One cannot but smell some kind of anti-feline conspiracy there
:* :*

ShyTorque
19th Mar 2005, 00:51
BMWs do have indicators. It's just that they are supposed to be only used as decoys.

Front fog lights? They are an expensive extra, I've paid for them and I'm damn well going to USE them, regardless of the weather.

Why do Mercs never have hands free phone kits?

Beware of drivers with hats (in closed top cars, that is). If they have failed to notice it's not raining inside the car, what chance of them being able to drive properly?

Whirlygig
19th Mar 2005, 00:57
Beware of drivers with hats (in closed top cars, that is)
...and just how, exactly, would any driver keep their hat on in an open top car? Flat cap and hat-pins in Yorkshire? Trilbies with chin-straps in Surrey? Baseball caps with rivets in the skull in Peckham? Yeah, actually that might be the case!

Cheers

Whirlygig

SyllogismCheck
19th Mar 2005, 01:15
Because the image link they're using will be to the pic hosted somewhere where it has a shorter URL TIC.
For example you could save the pic then store it on photobucket or similar which would give it a short enough address to allow the img function to work.

Enough of those sort of questions now, these glasses don't suit me........ :8

ShyTorque
19th Mar 2005, 01:39
Whirly, get off to bed! Those Whiskey Macs obviously make you too punchy :p

Bennie hats stay on, not forgetting the old deerstalker with the flaps tied down. Oh, mind you, are we allowed to tie FLAPS down? ;)

Whirlygig
19th Mar 2005, 02:10
OK Shy, whatever you want :O

...but in all this about hats in cars... what about scarves. I think the Grace Kelly look is sooo fetching ;)

Cheers

Whirls

However, hats in BMWs is not a particularly common sight; tends to be reserved for the 3-series Volvos and any Skoda. And if you see a Rover P8 then you KNOW the driver is wearing a hat from 200 yard away.

SilsoeSid
19th Mar 2005, 02:48
Reflecting Shy Torques sentiment of using his fogs because they are an expensive extra, I am amazed that when I have my Xenon headlights on, day or night, the minions ahead of me do not move out of my way fast enough.

They can obviously see me from a good distance away as they are such good lights, so my conclusion is that the other road users are driving without due attention to what is going on behind them.

If this applies to you, may I remind you to use your rearview mirrors.

Thank you,

SS

Lon More
19th Mar 2005, 13:25
I am amazed that when I have my Xenon headlights on, day or night, the minions ahead of me do not move out of my way fast enough.
Do that to me mate and I'll show you how bright my brake lights are, and btw also how solid my tow hook is

Capt.KAOS
19th Mar 2005, 14:03
Well there ya go Mr.Cat, confirms what an extrodinary interesting subject BMW is, or does it?

Lon More
19th Mar 2005, 16:03
Cosmos, sorry, should have made it a bit clearer but have just had 2 experiences of beemers this week. The post was intended for tailgaters, day or night, who assume a god given right that I should move out of the way and use their high-beam to re-inforce the message. Of course I drive with lights on at night, or when visibility requires it.
1) I was overtaking a military convoy when a [email protected] in a beemer decided that I should force my way into the convoy to let him past, resulted in a decrease of speed on my part; when he finally got past I'm surprised he didn't have a heart attack, both hands off the wheel, shaking his mobile phone at me and jumping up and down.
2)On Belgian tv last night a report about a beemer driver who had just killed a 14 year old kid. He claims he was not speeding, but his car was destroyed,; it looks like the engine had been shoved backwards and the roof was totally caved in - if he wasn't speeding it doesn't say much for the way the cars are built. The kid arrives 60 years too early in the next world just because some dork is in a hurry.

High Wing Drifter
19th Mar 2005, 17:20
It's quite funny how people can relate some less than desirable but fundementally generic human traits to certain types of car ownership :D

ShyTorque
19th Mar 2005, 17:20
The most interesting thing about this thread is that despite it being so obviously tongue-in cheek, some people fall for the most spurious posts every time!

How can people get themselves all tied up in a bunch so easily? Silsoe Sid is so obviously joking about "his" car and how he drives, for goodness sake!

Lon More, the reaction you just gave would no doubt result in a road rage incident and probably an accident and you yourself would be liable. It is FAR worse to deliberately try to cause an accident than for a driver to indicate that he is there and wants to pass. Stupid on the other drivers part, but pure aggression on yours. Perhaps the problem isn't just with the Beemer drivers! If we all were just more considerate and intelligent drivers and less aggressive, many road accidents would probably never occur.

How can it be correct to assume that someone has a particular character because of the type of car he/she drives? It's car-ism, as opposed to rac-ism, but it amounts to much the same thing.

DuckDodgers
19th Mar 2005, 17:58
So not to be outdone by the very dull Golf GTi there is a 125 BMW arriving with 218 bhp and infinitely better handling as it it is REAR WHELL drive.

Well i enjoy driving my brand new (yes the new new one) 325iSE so there, those who do not drive are just a tad jealous as the A4 and C class have onlyjust caught up with the outgoing model and they are all front wheel drive....so to paraphrase Clarkson LOSERS!

Oh yeah the new adaptice cruise control is awesome, just need a funky radar sweeping sound?

Whirlygig
19th Mar 2005, 18:26
It's car-ism, as opposed to rac-ism, but it amounts to much the same thing.
...as long as you take your flat cap off when you're driving....:O or don't drive with your fog lights on when the nearest fog is in Warsaw :O

But ShyT, you're are right. I'm sure you're a lovely person who drives a BMW just as I'm a ditsy Irish red-head in an Alfa GTV.

But in this day and age, prejudice (as in pre-judging) and preconceptions are everywhere and we all have them!

Cheers

Whirls

ShyTorque
19th Mar 2005, 19:40
An ALFA? Do they still make those? I thought the steel rusted away quicker than they could get the cars off the production line. Except the ones painted bitumen black....

p.s. Talking of type-casting, is it true what they say about redheads, especially Irish ones? Hehe :E

High Wing Drifter
19th Mar 2005, 20:49
Here in the UK it's a 130 we're getting. 258bhp in a very small car! Can't wait
Anybody else driven the 1 Series yet? I have driven quite a few types and the best in terms of handling that I have driven are the Porsche 924S and now the 1 Series Sport and SE that my local BMW dealer lent me for a couple of days. Personally, I think a 130 will be a waste of money, there simply isn't enough road and the dynamic limits of just the 120d and 118d are completely beyond anything safely or responsibly useable on public roads IMHO.

Whirlygig
19th Mar 2005, 20:51
Alfa's are not painted bitumen balck; they're painted in bitumen to hold them together as you [email protected] well know :p

...and as for racial prejudice... I'm not quite sure what you mean about Irish redheads :confused:

Is it true we are all beautiful, intelligent, kind, witty, tasteful, erudite? Yes, I suppose so! :O

Is it true we have a feisty nature, a volatile temper, a voracious appetite for pleasure and an unequalled capacity for drink? You'd have to find out the hard way :ok:

I'm sure that there is an element within us all that chooses our car for the "image" that that model will portray just as we all make judgments on a person for the car he or she drives.

Come on guys, admit it. It's not just me now, is it!

Cheers

Whirls

DuckDodgers
20th Mar 2005, 10:21
Cosmos, it will only be the 2.5 litre straight six in the UK, was having a chat on friday with said people over in Munich. Hey, i am not complaining. Personally i think when then line up is fully developed, NEW 1 Series Coupe and Cabriolet along with 3 Series Touring, Cooupe, Cabriolet and Compact it will be awesome.

Onan the Clumsy
20th Mar 2005, 15:25
How can it be correct to assume that someone has a particular character because of the type of car he/she drives? It's car-ism, as opposed to rac-ism, but it amounts to much the same thing. Of course it's correct. It all stems from advertising. Manufacturers build an image around their product, people are pursuaded by the message and, buy into that image and purchase the product. It's like a self fullfilling prophesy.

UL730
20th Mar 2005, 15:38
...............................BMW ERGO SUM

Rushton
20th Mar 2005, 15:40
Hmm just seen the new BMW 1 series - my doesn't it have small windows. Still side windows are of no use to a beemer driver, they only look ahead. Come to think of it the rear window ain't much use either coz they don't use rear the view mirror either. Perhaps the ideal BMW would be a van?

sits back and waits for flack - cage rattling possibilty 85%

pulse1
20th Mar 2005, 18:08
Daughter works for a BMW dealer (and I would only admit to that on an anonymous forum) and she tells me that BMWs will soon have automatic parking. Then they won't need anything but front windows.

SyllogismCheck
20th Mar 2005, 18:59
Perhaps BMW have reversed their policy of badging their cars to appear to have smaller engines than they in fact do (ie. car badged as 320i actually having a 2.2l engine) to make up for the abysmal lack of performance of some of the mid range models and the 130 will in fact be a 2.5l engined car.

Who knows? They seem to badge them to reflect the performance, or lack of, rather than the actual engine size.
I suppose in a small car like the 1 series a 2.5 might 'feel' like a 3.0 hence the decision to 'over' badge one for a change. :rolleyes:

Best option is to substitute those with numbers on the boot for those with an 'M'. :E

GROUNDHOG
20th Mar 2005, 22:52
High Wing Drifter ..... borrowed a 120d top of the range and really wanted to like it. Great engine, great gearbox but then it all went wrong. Ride is awful and if you hit a bump be prepared to be scraped off the roof if sitting in the back. That is if you are still sitting cos the seat is so damned uncomfortable. The front seats were not much better either. At £15k I wouldn't buy one but it isn't, this model was nearly £24k - what price a badge.

Astrodome
20th Mar 2005, 22:56
So which of you esteemed flight deck crew was driving south along the M1 south of Wakefield in a rather smart two door silver BMW on Friday about 1600 hours???

By the way complete with large gold and silver (Brietling?) watch

SilsoeSid
20th Mar 2005, 23:40
Astro,

Glad you said 2 door and Breitling not 4 door and Omega (watch not car!!!), thought you had clocked me then.

Wasn't the traffic terrible around there? How dare they impede my progress!
I pay good money in my road tax in order to have free passage on the public highways AND in addition as a BMW driver deserve the respect of every other highway user, who should be making way for me.

I do not expect to have to ease off the throttle in the 137.4 mile journey I was undertaking, let alone change gear!

Times changed when the Highway Code Booklet was amended, with the paragraph in relation to 'car types and priority on the highways' being removed.

BMW, THE ULTIMATE DRIVING MACHINE, so get out of the way peasants! ;)

MadsDad
21st Mar 2005, 08:37
Saw an under-performing Beemer about an hour ago. It was in the middle lane and only doing about 40 or so (maybe 50) at the time.

Mind you it was also upside down (and spinning).

(M5 J23, about an hour ago).

Send Clowns
21st Mar 2005, 08:46
This is the 1 series that has been panned by all the motoring press, is a waste of money and not as good as the Focus, according to them that have driven it, right? People here are serious about paying that much for a badge?

By the way the person who querried a Ford's reliability clearly has no idea of the marque.

SilsoeSid
21st Mar 2005, 10:23
"It was in the middle lane and only doing about 40 or so (maybe 50) at the time.
Mind you it was also upside down (and spinning)."


What a car, on the motorway and breakdancing, THE ULTIMATE DRIVING MACHINE.


:ooh: :{

High Wing Drifter
21st Mar 2005, 11:19
High Wing Drifter ..... borrowed a 120d top of the range and really wanted to like it. Great engine, great gearbox but then it all went wrong. Ride is awful and if you hit a bump be prepared to be scraped off the roof if sitting in the back. That is if you are still sitting cos the seat is so damned uncomfortable. The front seats were not much better either. At £15k I wouldn't buy one but it isn't, this model was nearly £24k - what price a badge.
Yes! No doubt you drove the Sport specification? When I was umming and arring about either going for a 1 Series or downgrading I asked the dealer for a go in an SE after trying the Sport. You will find the SE rides much better. If I was childless I would much prefer the Sport as I really like firm suspension, but it is too hard for children in child seats, the SE specificaiton is very acceptable. The sheer flickability only slightly less, but still streets ahead of the competition.

This is the 1 series that has been panned by all the motoring press, is a waste of money and not as good as the Focus
Hehe. In terms of dynamics and sheer drivability a Focus simply can't touch it. In terms of practicality its boot is a little small but not that small but I don't think I could get my golf clubs in! As for the back seat room, I couldn't unerstand what the press was on about. The room is pretty average I would say, a little more than my coupe.

As mentioned previously, I'm downgrading to a Punto just because I want to economise. The Punto has also been slated by the press, its all BS, its a fine little car...the aftersales maybe another matter! The press is the press with motivations from various quarters, the least of which is providing a truely balanced view for Joe Public.

Binoculars
21st Mar 2005, 13:44
Seems the outright hostilities have been put away while both sides try to pretend they were only tongue-in-cheek. Shame really. The first seven or eight pages contained (from both sides) some of the most preposterous ego-driven willy-waving I've ever read on Jet Blast... amazing stuff!

Shy Torque, have another read. These guys (and one "lady") were serious! (OK, disregarding SS, whose idea of irony appears to be hitting us over the head with a concrete block). :rolleyes:

An eye opener for me in terms of what some people see as important, but each to his/her own. I know that on the Binos Magical Mystery Tour list of "Must Meet, Undecided, and Avoid At All Costs" the third group has had several people added to it!

Phew!!! :hmm:

Capt.KAOS
21st Mar 2005, 14:04
Buying and driving cars is all about EMOTION. Although the Focus is one of the best in it class and the Mondeo (the latest one, not the previous) is quite a remarkable car which share the same floorpan as the Jaguar X-type, many prefer to buy a BMW or a Jaguar, or a Saab (same floorpan as the Opel Vectra), to distinguish themselves or to obtain a better engine. Unfortunately Ford has not always been that good and that's what the trouble is. Customer trust goes on a horse and comes by foot, it may take a while until Ford will get the same appreciation as BMW.

Jerricho
21st Mar 2005, 16:02
Geeze, this still going?

I can't wait for the next thread "All Merc drivers are dickheads" :E

Wedge
21st Mar 2005, 16:09
This thread has certainly gone on longer than expected, given that it started as a bit of gentle BMW-driver ribbing.

TBH, there are just a lot of moron drivers out there (especially in London, none on PPRuNe, obviously ;)) and I don't see a majority of them driving a particular make.

Personally, I'd have a Merc over a BMW any day, but that's just my own preference.

chuks
21st Mar 2005, 16:58
That Merc drivers are at least considered to be so probably goes without saying, so no need for a post.

Here in Germany they seem to come in two basic versions.

One is the Waffen SS veteran, rolls of fat bulging above his shirt collar, wearing a homburg hat with badger brush inside the car with the Spanish dancer doll hiding a toilet roll under her skirt or else Winky the Cat or perhaps the famous Wackeldackel (the nodding dog, a dachshund in this country), one of these three sacred objects, on the hat shelf.

Or else it's Mr Young and Thrusting, bulling his way through traffic.

Of course this as much a stereotype as the nonsense about BMW chavs posted above, but I think it's all so boringly obvious that there's almost no material there for a wind-up.

BTW, you learn something every day. I was in a café in Amsterdam when I got into violent altercation with a rabbi. It all started over some knishes.

He was winding up with some sort of Israeli marital art moves when I laid him low with a Teppanyaki, followed up with the Vibrating Fist of Death. So perhaps Dolphins is correct after all. Be careful out on those mean streets.

Lon More
21st Mar 2005, 18:01
Some people don't like Japanese cars either

Mitsubishi (http://www.dribbleglass.com/subpages/strange/mitsubishit.htm)

Solid Rust Twotter
21st Mar 2005, 18:11
Marital art moves, Chuks?

Hope you kept your legs crossed.....:E :ok:

ShyTorque
21st Mar 2005, 19:15
"Shy Torque, have another read. These guys (and one "lady") were serious! (OK, disregarding SS, whose idea of irony appears to be hitting us over the head with a concrete block)."

In that case, I dissociate myself from all the BMW driving wan£ers of the world, most utterly and completely.

Apart from driving the same make of car, obviously. ;)

chuks
21st Mar 2005, 19:51
Yes, there was something distinctly odd about that fellow. Not to mention the knishes....

I may be unfair here, since I am just going by what I was told in Dutch after the incident, when they were loading my vanquished opponent into a Mercedes (see!) ambulance. Dutch is not actually one of my languages so I may have misinterpreted the whole affair. He may not actually have been a rabbi and perhaps he was just trying, Dutch-style, to be friendly, when I took that amiss.

Come to that, I meant to use the term for 'a spinning back kick' but I think I actually used the term (Teppanyaki) for 'fresh sea urchin gonads' or something similar.

There was that time I was in a sushi bar and I ordered 'seppuku' when the cook came out and disembowelled himself in a rather long and drawn-out way. Then there was quite a fuss about the bill for that....

The rest of the trip on my BMW went very well. When people saw the blue-and-white emblem they all tugged their forelocks most respectfully so that I know buying one was a wise investment.

My time-wasting here in Proonland is drawing to a close. Soon I must do without contact with all you other weirdoes. Try to keep your discourse semi-rational and refrain from too much flaming.

SyllogismCheck
21st Mar 2005, 20:11
You don't get 258bhp from the 2.5. Yet I didn't follow the link, but like I said the ones worth having do give 100bhp per litre. Already. :ok: