A little knowledge is a dangerous thing....

[A.R.M.505]

This is what happens when somebody who thinks he knows what we do chips in with his 2c. The problem is when he is in a position to make ones life difficult. This is a direct quote of a safety report received by a B1900D crew:

"On XX Feb, the security team from XXX flew with XX from XX to XX. During the flight, the following observations were made:

- During the take off rotation, both pilot and co-pilot put the (sic)hands on the throttle, which is the normal take-off procedure for non-tarmac runways. However, immediately after take-off, both crew members released the throttle simultaneously. For maximum safety during take-off, it is recommended that the pilot flying the plane remains with its (sic) hands on the throttle until the first changing of power setting (500-1000 feet above the ground).
- The handling of the landing lights was upside down; they were switched on after take-off and off for landing. During daytime operations, such procedures does not represent a major safety concern but shows that check-list procedures must be better respected.
- On the co-pilot side, the altitude indicator (or speed indicator?) was inoperative, which is not a problem as such. However, the inoperative instrument has to be marked as such on the dashboard, which was not the case."

It's difficult to treat this seriously, but it's irritating when we as pilots have to defend our job from this kind of ignorance.

- Normal take off: At v1, PF+PNF removes their hands from the power levers. Doesn't everyone do this nowdays!?
- This guy clearly missed the big 'OFF' marking under the row of light switches on the overhead panel, and got confused by the smaller 'Off' under the master panel light switch, just above the landing light switches. Duh!
- Altitude or airspeed? Which one? And apparently he has a 1900 MMEL, because missing one of those 'is not a problem as such.' Not to mention that there were no inop instruments on that flight at all!

Aaaargh! This is clearly what happens when somebody with a PPL and a giant ego get behind and watch with eagle eyes, trying to find fault.

Anyone have more such tales?

[Solid Rust Twotter]

That sounds suspiciously like some anally retentive Blue Triangle (name changed) "expert on every subject under the sun".:yuk:

[Balloothebear]

Reminds me of the urban legend of the Rx or WFP safety officer, who recieved a new fandangled "all in one" watch for his birthday......it even had a barometer function!!
Low and behold he climbed on board the B 200 or B 1900 and as they were taxing out set his barometer watch to "0"
In cruise over the great mountains, he kept on shaking his head and muttering great profanaties, and upon landing immediately wanted a meeting with the relevant operations manager and the pilots.
Swearing and cursing he let rip at the aircrew for acting in such an unsafe manner, endangering not only the lives of the pax but also his own........aircrew were stunned....what in damnation had they done..........safety officer.....according to my new watch, we were only flying at a height of 9800ft.....those mountains are way higher.......we could have collided with the mountains at any time......
The captain took it in his stride, and sussed out the now sweating read faced safety officer.....sir, with respect, the cabin is PRESSURISED TO A HEIGHT OF 9000FT.....THEREFORE YOUR WATCH WAS READING THE RELEVANT INTERIOR AIR PRESSURE,NOT THE OUTSIDE AIR PRESSURE.....needless to say the safety officer is now peeling potatoes in Outer Mongolia.....:ouch:

[Solid Rust Twotter]

Baloo

Sounds like the same Blue Triangle safety officer. Probably got a promotion for irritating the crew....

[Cap Loko]

Reminds me of the following story;

Pilot collegue went on a flight in a King Air and had a customer on board with PPL. Customer complained after the flight to the general manager that the pilot of his plane was flying too fast (dangerous!) because he flew close to barperpole speed!

Now, this PPL guy (known for his attitude) had flown only single engined piston planes and didn't realise that a turboprop flies much closer to its envelope than the planes he used to fly himself!

[A.R.M.505]

Aaaaah, we wish they all got sent to outer Mongolia.....
Glad to hear the other stories though!

[V1... Ooops]

The only Red Cross auditor I know has 9,000 hours, all on type, all in the bush, so I don't think that's him.

[contraxdog]

I think, that someone that made such an informed and relevent report must be named.If he is a professional, he wont mind his report being scrutinized by us, the multitudes of unwashed.His knowledge and experience is really needed.

NAME HIM SO WE CAN SHAME HIM!

I am tired of these, expert, novices, that make up the echelons of the uninformed, that gets $13000/ month jobs. They are hired by the RC, UN, WFP, as experts, and according to these "MIKE FOSTROT's" reports, our profesionality is judged.

NAME HIM WE WILL SHAME HIM.

nuf sed