Interesting Article

[funbags]

The Australian - Michael West

Skimping the bushed kangaroo

January 22, 2005

THAT Mangy Old Roo is at it again, limping, simpering down the runway to a record $1 billion profit while still, apparently, facing extinction.

Dry your tears dear readers, for yet another grim warning from chief executive Geoff Dickson this week. Qantas had "no choice" but to enlist more foreign labourers. Last time Dicko proclaimed the scurvy marsupial was in danger of survival, readers dug deep for the Adopt a Sick Roo Fund -- Help Qantas Survive. Donations included a 10-ore note from Norway, coppers from old Belgian Congo and Mozambique and a Russian rouble.

Noting this week that the Roo's little joey, Geoffstar the discount carrier, is walloping Virgin Blue in the domestic aviation market, we offer our Margin Call oblation. Given the Spirit of Qantas, not to mention its activities in the Cayman Islands tax haven, we worry that Qantas may violate the "truth-in-advertising" precepts of the Trade Practices Act by "still calling Australia home".

With no further ado, we present a new ad-campaign to be sung by the Qantas Executive Choir.

I Still Call The Caymans Home

I've been to cities, first class all the way

I've got our tax down and I've whacked up our pay

But no matter how far our service goes dowwwwwn

I still call the Caymans home.

...da, da, da

I'm always firin'

And I love a free-bie

Little Johnnie's preservin' our mo-nop-ol-y

But my heart lies waiting on the bottom liiiiiiine

I still call the Caymans home

...da, da, da

All the sons' and daughters' pay is up 3 per cent

While management's up by thir-ty

Ah but Dicko's is 270 higher

And that's before share options and perks.

Da, da, da

Our offices are refurbed

We're making one bil,

If you believe we're in trouble,

You're a bit of a dill

Look at our leveraged leasing deeeeeeals

I still call the Caymans home

Da, da, da

Someday the fuel surcharge'll go up once more

When all frequent flyer points are dead on the shore

Then Australia will realise we've been having a loooooan

I still call the Caymans home.

[Ultralights]

Brilliant! what stance will dixon take next time around, the "sky is falling" line just doesnt wash anymore with the public, customers and staff.

[sinala1]

Geoffstar the discount carrier, is walloping Virgin Blue in the domestic aviation market
Umm yes DJ posted downward revised profit and traffic figure, but I would hardly say JQ is "walloping" them - thats a bit of, shall we say, 'poetic licence' on the journalists behalf??? :yuk:

Although I have to say, I did love that song ha ha ha ha :ok: :E

[FabulousBakerBoy]

Michael West is pretty well read by the Finance Industry too. No doubt they already know what he is saying.

[Mr.Buzzy]

Just wait for it.....Ive heard that Dicko is going to blame the "Fast Food epidemic" come EBA time.

"Times are tough, we really cant afford to pay you any more, times are bad and in light of the Fast Food Epidemic we need to further tighten our belts"

"In light of our newly acquired machines which will need retrofitting to accomodate victims of this cruel epidemic our budget will just not permit further expenditure on pilots"

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