Dumba$$ tourists, collectives and throttle quadrants

[sandy helmet]

Anyone ever had a handbag or camera strap hook into a collective or throttle, or someone kick the collective while stretching in the back seat??

I recommend a vietnam interrogation for the b##tard.

[B Sousa]

As we in the tour industry take all comers including the Disabled, I had a real thrill some years ago. Loaders carried a Spaz up and put him in the front seat. Brain was there but body jerked involuntarily. OK, no problem until half way through the ride when his arm went over and smacked the collective full down. I normally fly with my hand on but loosely....... No loss of rotorhead but a real thrill for all aboard.......
No more carry-ons up front......and since we are overwater they are all briefed on how to go down with the ship.........after Im in the raft.
If it wasnt for the anti something law, they would not be allowed on board as they certainly will perish. We shall not discriminate........

[Whirlygig]

Anyone ever had a handbag..... strap....hook onto the collective
Isn't that what it's there for darling?

Touché???

Cheers

Whirlygig

[kissmysquirrel]

Mr Sousa, are you really allowed to use the word 'spaz'?

[407 Driver]

I've had (rear seated) Heli-Skiers think that the center console area in the Astar was a "nice place" to strech out their legs and rest their ski boots in flight. Shame I never had a Hammer then ! WHACK !

I've have had them drop a 1 Liter sports-water bottle square on the throttle lever ( it could easily have been forced beyond the FLY detent into the + ungoverned range! )

Had a guy reach for something in the 407, his shift-sleeve caught the collective and bottomed it.....on short final. He was re-assigned to the rear seat after that.

Had a guy think that the area between the 2 front seats of the 407 was a great place to stow his full sized SLR camera in flight. If I had to "auto" just then, the collective would never have been able to reach the bottom.

Had a tired German Heli-Skier riding up front in a 212, and somehow (???) managed to get his foot stuck in the Co-pilot pedal stubs and jam the pedals. I don't speak german, he never spoke English, but the universal language of fear and anger ($%$$#@!@!) convinced him to pull his feet out as we wallowed around the clearing with jammed pedals.

The best one was a Japanese film crew, who wanted to tie a bungie cord to the mast or pitch change rods, to support their camera in the rear door frame.....people unclear on the concept ?.

[4ero]

How is any of that tha pax's fault?

Brief them to stay away from controls, circuit breakers, instruments, pilot, make sure bags etc are stowed properly.

You do get thick people I admit, but the dangers can be minimised by controlling them from the off.

[407 Driver]

Why do you assume that they WEREN'T briefed?

You can brief until "the cows come home", the facts are...expect the unexpected from people!

What I've found is...the longer the briefing, the less info some comprehend and retain anyway.

[Gomer Pylot]

I've been carrying critters in the back (and front) for over 20 years, and I assure you, some of them are swimming in the very, very shallow end of the gene pool. Some people are total idiots, and shouldn't be allowed outside alone, much less inside a helicopter. And it often seems that the richer they are, the stupider they are, but I haven't figured out why this seems to be so. It's also a well-known fact that if a passenger can't close the door, (s)he's almost certain to be a petroleum engineer, at least in the oil patch. :8

[Gordy]

So are you on Kauai and heard me yelling last Monday? Yep there was I flying my Astar (left seat conversion and passenger bench seat up front), when the woman in the left rear seat stands up, and leans ALL the way up front with her left breast resting on my right shoulder, so she can take a picture out the front window. I am being polite, etc explain that she should sit down and re-do her seatbelt etc, lo and behold--- she does it again. Now I yell at her, long story short, she goes back to the office, complains, wants money back, we refuse, she threatens law suit, we threaten arrest for "interference with a crew member in the course of his duties" not a good thing to be arrested for since 9-11. I have been off for two days so don't know the outcome yet---will let you all know if its bad!!!!!

[Thud_and_Blunder]

I reckon most people's IQ drops by around 50 the first time they go within 10 metres of a helicopter that has its rotors turning. With some of the folk we carry, that pushes them into the negative-value area...

[Vfrpilotpb]

Gordy,

Have you been off with stress?,

it must be bloody awfull when those big wobbley, soft succulant breasts fall over your shoulder!

Restraint is needed, and a stiff cold shower( prob not stiff)

Vfr:ok:

[rotaryman]

TiTs a Lovelly day today!!!....LOL :ok: :E

[4ero]

:rolleyes:

customers, eh? Who'd 'ave 'em?

:)

[407 Driver]

I briefed 24 pass on the 212 today.

Had pointed out the front LH seat, twice, explained and demo'd the Seat Belt, and told them twice that everyone enters and exits from THIS side, the LH side as you are seated forward.
The Briefing ends, one passenger promptly circles the aircraft and takes MY seat (RH).

DOOHHH ! Need big stick ! :p

[John Eacott]

Not tourists, but passengers we have known and loved....

The Shell senior manager who was escorted to the boot of the Bo105 (Brent Field), invited to pick out his bag, and escorted from the helicopter. To live for the next few days on the contents of his "bag". One film projector ;)

The 212 load of Portugese welders to be transferred to the Capalonga. Fortunately I looked over my shoulder before pulling pitch, 11 seated, 4 standing, and a couple more sitting on laps :p

The skiers who just have to knock the snow off their boots: on the side of the fuselage :mad:

The skier who managed to get a size 10 ski boot through a 2" gap and hole the chin window of the BK :hmm:

The multi millionaires who think it doesn't apply to them, who remove seat belts at 4' on finals, and open the door the millisecond the skids touch :yuk:

Then there're the rig pigs off the midnight red eye, p1ssed at 0800 and unable to understand why they're not getting on the helicopter with me driving :(

Good game, this helicopter driving lark :ok:

[Helisurfer]

407 Driver,

Had the same thing happen to me once, pax jumps in the RHF seat of the longranger and after clear briefing to load from left. Didn't even ocur to him that he had to climb over the cyclic to get there.
After I loaded the other pax I climbed up in the LHF seat did up my seat belt and sat there dumb. When he looked across at me with a blank look I ask him, "Do you know how to fly this thing?" when he answers "No" I promptly replied "Well get the f#@k out of my seat then!"

Can I borrow your stick?

[SASless]

Gordy....

All the while that was going on....having made such a scene in front of the other passengers....you were thinking to yourself..."ah, but don't I feel a Right Tit!":ok:

[Floats Armed]

Flying a full H500 around Kings Canyon in OZ. Just as we go over the edge of one of the escarpments the previously briefed - "Dont touch anything especially me" - pax seated in the front center seat grabs my right wrist and yanks it nearly fully over to the right with obvious resultant @#@#$***$ language and aerobatics!!! Still the two young surfer type dudes in the back thanked me for "really stacking on one"? Scared the crap out me though. My briefings were REALLY extensive after that and where possible keep them out of that middle seat and at arms length.