View Full Version : Amsterdam needs Norwegian help!

9th Dec 2004, 13:20
Remeber the discussion here on the Scandiholigan Christmas trees in the UK?

Well, the Christmas tree on the main square in Amsterdam is of such bad quality and in such a bad state that it needs "maintenance".
Green spotlights, implanted fresh branches and a screening of the already bare lower part with smaller christmas trees is now being used to make it look a bit reasonable.

Flaps do you lot have a tree left for despatch to AMS?

AMSTERDAM - Radio Noordzee deelt donderdagmiddag om vijf uur duizend kerstbomen uit op de Dam, als troost voor de armetierige dennenboom die het radiostation daar heeft geplaatst.

De 'woudreus' is nu al legendarisch. Kromme takken, kale plekken en een scheve top. De aangekondigde 'herstelwerkzaamheden' aan de spar van de radiozender hebben nog weinig moois opgeleverd. ''Een regelrechte aanfluiting,'' schampert een voorbijganger .

Kleine bomen zijn als een camouflerende haag om de kale stam gezet. Werklui zijn druk bezig lampjes op te hangen en de rest van de lege plekken op te vullen met takken van andere bomen. Felle schijnwerpers belichten de boom met een onnatuurlijke kleur groen.

''Die boom is op sterven na dood,'' zegt een man die diep weggedoken in z'n jas over de Dam loopt. ''Ik werk hier tegenover en moet elke dag tegen dat ding aankijken. Het ziet er nog steeds niet uit. Laat ze hem maar weer weg halen.'' Hij loopt hoofdschuddend door.

Met de dennenboom uit de Ardennen hoopte de radiozender een kerstsfeer op de Dam te creŽren zoals die heerst in de meeste steden van enig belang. ''In Purmerend hebben we een mooiere kerstboom,'' lacht een voorbijganger.

Noordzee FM kan zich de teleurstelling van de Amsterdammers goed voorstellen. ''Deze boom verdient geen schoonheidsprijs.'' De dennenboom die de zender zelf had geselecteerd, is gebroken tijdens het omzagen. Daardoor moest er een andere boom op transport. ''We vinden het buitengewoon spijtig.''

9th Dec 2004, 13:34
For the ones who do not read cloggyspeak :
AMSTERDAM - radio North sea distributes Thursday afternoon at five o'clock thousand kerstbomen on the dam, as a consolation for the armetierige treetree tree which has placed the radio station there. 'woudreus' is now already legendary. Curved branches, bald spots and a crooked top. Announced 'herstelwerkzaamheden' to the spar of broadcaster still a little beautiful have produced. ''Een straight mockery, '' a guide sneers. Small trees have been put as a camouflaging hedge for the bald tribe. Werklui are very busy hang candle ends and the rest of the empty spots to fill up with branches of other trees. Felle projectors illuminate the tree with an unnatural colour green. ''Die tree is on dies after dead, '' a man says who runs deeply ducked away in z'n coat concerning the dam. ''Ik work here compared with and must look at each day against that thing. It does not see still. She omits him but halen.'' He passes through head. With the treetree tree from the ardennen broadcaster hoped create kerstsfeer on the dam such as that dominates in most of the cities of some importance. ''In Purmerend we have a more beautiful kerstboom, '' a guide laughs. North sea FM can present himself the vexation of the amsterdammers well. ''Deze tree deserves none schoonheidsprijs.'' The treetree tree which had selected the sender himself, has break during sawing down. As a result, there another tree on transport had. ''We find it extraordinary spijtig.''

This was supposed to be English, BTW

what is a "treetree tree" :confused: :confused:

de dennenboom uit de Ardennen = the fir/pine (?) tree from Ardennesfor once, the Dutch, the English and the Froggies can find some common ground in Belgian bashing :E :E

9th Dec 2004, 13:53
Belgian bashing, we can devote a whole forum to that! :E

BTW, thanks for the translation Bre.

"armetierige treetree tree" - three lousy looking trees! :}

"She omits him but halen" - they should take that piece of sh1t away

''We find it extraordinary spijtig.'' - we [email protected] it up :ooh:

"camouflaging hedge for the bald tribe" - :ok:ok:

9th Dec 2004, 13:57
''Die tree is on dies after dead, ''

I take it that means totally knackered then??:eek:

Maybe it's the air quality in AMS.Do they sell plastic ones (bout 30Mtrs high) down the local hypermarket?

9th Dec 2004, 14:02
''Die boom is op sterven na dood,''
"Short of dying, that tree is dead"

Nah, I like ''Die tree is on dies after dead" better.:ok:

9th Dec 2004, 21:00
Who said:

"It's easy to do Belgian bashing , because there are many more racist than Belgian here!"


tony draper
9th Dec 2004, 21:39
Mebee they been smoking agent orange near said tree.
Ours is spiffing.

9th Dec 2004, 21:45
She omits him but halen WOT???

A bit late with that Cheerio.... :p

Vortex what...ouch!
10th Dec 2004, 00:41
It's easy to do Belgian bashing , because there are many more racist than Belgian here

As for the flemish people, an entirely different story all together, very nice friendly and welcoming. Can drink lots too.:ok:

10th Dec 2004, 09:17
A Belgian joke was what came to Mr40s mind as well after reading this sorry tale... sorry. ;)

Plenty trees to spare here IFTB, Mr40's cousin has a few big monsters on his Xmas Tree Plantation that are too big to sell to households and he doen't really know what to do with them.
Just set up the transport. :ok:

10th Dec 2004, 10:19
This link - in Dutch - also includes a picture and a 2:30 video of the pitiful tree.

Same thing has happened in Brussels. Here's a quote from the local expats forum:

It's a scandal.
First Brussels causes a diplomatic incident by not accepting the tree gifted to them from Norway since WW2. They get one instead from the Ardennes but it gets severly damaged in transit. Already looking like a dead tree, they bury the stump in a hole dug through the cobblestones but erect the tree with a distinct lean away from the Hotel de Ville. Then they put on too few lights so it looks like a cheap dead tree. Then instead of putting lights on the tower like they did last year they get some poor chap to flick the regular lights on and off at random and add a pathetic snowflake projector and a lame green laser. I should think it will attract 12.5 extra visitors this Christmas)

PS he got it wrong - Norway should have been Finland

10th Dec 2004, 10:36
Good link DJ , even in my wildest imagination I would not have believed it actually looked like that! :ooh:

Long live Belgium! :yuk:

(and the idiots in Amsterdam who actually bought it!)

10th Dec 2004, 12:31
Don't understand Dutch too well but the video link says it all with facial expressions and tone of voice...brilliant:ok:

Could it be something to do with Norways attitude to the EU,that the tree came from the Ardenne?