View Full Version : Application for Austraillian Citizenship

Gareth Blackstock
6th Dec 2004, 21:55


6th Dec 2004, 22:18
Dear Sirs,

Ever since I saw Jenny Agutter in Walkabout, I've wanted to live in Oztralia. But I'm having some difficulty in completing the form. Could you please send me the explanatory notes concerning filling in parts 1 and 3? And 2 and 4 and 5. And 6 just in case. If accepted, will I have to spend a few months in Nowroo to become acclimated to the Ozzie way of of things? :uhoh: ;)

Feeton Terrafirma
6th Dec 2004, 22:45
Dear Gareth,

(is that a name?) You obviously have doctored the form. The blokes name selection is clearly wrong. No one is called Bruce or Pongo, and Stew is spelt Stu.

Likewise the shelias name section has issues. No one is called any name ending with ENE. Ever. And if ya a shelia and ya name is Sheila as well thats double lucky.

In part 2, question 1 there is a plainly obvious english mistake. Ya see, that Fosters stuff? Well we Aussies don't drink it at all. We drink VB (thats Victoria Bitter) Forex (XXXX) or maybe Tooheys Old but never Fosters. We have sucessfully exported all that Fosters crap to you Pomogonians.

BTW options A & B are not real are they?

Question 2 is a trick question. The real answer is MAYBE

Everybody knows Q3, its pooftas coming over from the UK

Q4 is another trick. Correct answer is the Beer Pipe

Q5 is very simple. And that was a baby knife, hardly worthy of the name.

Just then ya dive of to section 3 without askin the other 6 questions for section 2. Talk about dopey.

Violent Bush Dweller? Ya cant become a Tassie Devil.

Part 4 is missing the bit about going over to the UK to save their arse when they pick a fight they can't win. Ya know it's only been a few years since the last one?

That part 6 is a real hard one. None of you Pomogonians will be able to figure that out.

Anyway Gareth, now that ya gone n got the form, don't be put off cos its really hard. Give it a go, and if ya need some help filling it out just give us a shout mate.

6th Dec 2004, 23:56
At least the Aussies send their troops into the battlefield properly equipped. It's always impressed me that standard Aussie combat headgear incorporates a flotation device. Provided one keeps the chin-strap in place... :uhoh: :)

Just an other number
7th Dec 2004, 10:21
Feeton T

Noelene's not a real oz name?
Tried google.com.au and got this -
Results 1 - 10 of about 14,500 for noelene. (0.16 seconds) (http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&q=noelene&btnG=Google+Search&meta=cr%3DcountryAU)

7th Dec 2004, 10:47
Friend of mine was accepted by Oz immigration, name of Windolene.

I hope that clears the situation.

7th Dec 2004, 10:49
You bloody bewdy, cobber bloke sheila. What a bonzer thread this is. Smack us in the eye with a hunk o' dodger, blue, this is fair dinkum the duck's nuts. :ok:

Dinky di, I reckon some of youse wogs orta get over here and find out for yourselves what a ripper life it is eatin' vegemite, huntin' roos, rootin' and surfing.

(Sorry, one of our 18 year olds got in there somehow). Or at least one of our regular posters in Dunnunda. :hmm:

If you are fortunate enough to be welcomed as part of The Lucky Country and stay for more than 48 hours, seeing something outside the Opera House, Bondi beach, the Great Barrier Reef and Ayers Rock, you may go home and think, "Jeez, Australia looks like a bloody big place. I wonder if there was anything else to it? In fact, now I come to think of it, where were the bloody kangaroos?"

Then you can start planning your next trip. When that happens, email me. :ok:

7th Dec 2004, 11:36
Every time I go to the Old Dart between... ohh.. September and May, I ask the same question" "Now let me get this straight... you sent the convicts to Sydney and you stayed here? Riiiiight."

Never had anything more than a pained expression in reply as the poor bloody Brit bows on his hands to keep them warm.

7th Dec 2004, 13:27
The immigration form I got is about a gazillion pages long & cost $1845.00 to submit to Immigration. :mad: :* :{ :ouch:

7th Dec 2004, 13:49

Unfortunately I have spotted another error in your form. Those of us true citizens of God's Own Earth would not stay in England for more than the time it takes to change planes. Not only is too cold and too expensive but it's full of bloody Poms. In fact we regard anyone foolish enough to remain in England as being a few beers short of a carton and we are well rid of them.

Consider some examples- Kylie the singing budgie (who now sounds like she couldn't pronounce Astraya to save her life), Clive (if I was any more pretentious I wouldn't be able to be near myself) James and Rolf (anyone want to watch me paint a wall while I sing a song) Harris. Please feel free to adopt them all as your own and place them in some sort of celebrity zoo.

Please correct the errors in your form and try again. You never know, you might get a form contract with the Government of God's Own Earth and leave to visit.

Cheers mate!

PS When are you going to fix Gatwick airport? I did think it was the worst airport in the world but recently I went to Orly.

surely not
7th Dec 2004, 21:14
I worked with an Aussie girl called Gaylene, and I think she had a sister called Marlene. So there seem to be quite a few Aussie girls names ending in -ene.

Then there's the overweight girlie called Shane :D

7th Dec 2004, 23:20
Ho do you know when another plane load of poms has landed in Australia?

Well even after the captain has shut down the Engines,,you can still Hear the Whine!!!! LOL:)

LOL o.k i'm leaving..:ok:

8th Dec 2004, 00:07
Mistakes I can see on the form;

Names - where is Kath, Kim, Wazza and Bucket?

True blue ockers never go to places like England for working holidays. They go camping and its to places like Bonnidoon and Budgewoi.

true blue okers don't go to a glalleries and musuems in their spare times - they mow the lawn, they drink beer ( Feety is right, no Fosters), watch the footy and the bloody cricket, V8 supercars and then mow the lawn some more.

All aussies know the best invention has been the Hills Hoist, this is not listed.

Theartrical sayings - well there is nothing from Steve Urwin about crocodiles so the questions are clearly void. And everyone knows the greatest actor we have at the moment is Howard. His try hard comments however are not worth remembering.

Employment - they forgot the Bondi beach bum.

Australians pretend to like Midnight Oil and Inxs, but it is really just a lie. Please purchase Powder Finger, The Cruel Sea and Spider Bait CD's before coming to our shores.

Buster Hyman
8th Dec 2004, 01:21
Once knew a bloke that had a Gaylene....I'll leave it at that shall I?

8th Dec 2004, 07:02
One thing that has been missed from the form is the possession of a sense of humour.

Orstrayan's are well known for their outstanding laid-back sense of humour. So.........

Take this fecking thread off and recant or we'll come over to Pomgolia and knock the living sh*t outa ya!