View Full Version : Ladies - beware of the lapcat...

compressor stall
1st Dec 2004, 12:15
From pravda.ru

2004-11-10 11:06:00

Cat rapes woman after performing oral sex on her

Two women attempted to experience sexual pleasure from an intimate contact with a cat. The weird endeavor ended rather sad for one of the women: she was hospitalized with severe genital injuries.

Doctors arrived to hospitalize a woman, who had suffered from unexpected bleeding, as they were told on the phone. They saw a woman lying on the sofa. The woman was wearing only a jumper. Streaks of blood could be seen on her legs. The woman's friend was speechless to explain what happened.

The woman was taken to the gynecological department of the local hospital, where doctors determined the unusual character of the genital injuries. Stitching the wounds, they supposed that a sex maniac had attacked the woman and injured her in the crotch. The truth, however, surpassed all expectations. When the woman recovered, she confessed that she had been injured during her love act with a cat.

The woman's name was Svetlana. Her husband, an entrepreneur, was constantly away on business trips. That day he was out of town too. Svetlana was bored and she decided to visit her friend, Vera. The two women had some wine and started talking about intimate matters.

Vera was the first, who suggested trying something totally unusual: "Do you wanna try the real thing?" asked she. When Vera clarified, what the real thing was about, Svetlana was terrified. However, the idea seemed to be attractive to her after the women talked about it and had some more wine. "Life is too short, one has to try everything!" Svetlana decided.

Vera brought in a cat. The cat named as Timka was living in the house for quite a long time. Vera took her clothes off, put the light out and played an adult movie on the video recorder. She lied down, took a bottle of valerian and poured some on her most intimate body part. When the cat smelled valerian, he started licking it away, putting Vera in the state of ecstasy.

"Now it is your turn, you try," Vera told Svetlana when she was done. "You know, my friend, there is nothing better than the cat's little tongue," said she.

When the cat started licking valerian off from Svetlana, something happened to the animal. Timka probably took too much of the medication: he started licking the liquid away but all of a sudden he seized the genitals of the poor woman with his claws and teeth. Svetlana screamed and tried to push the fierce pet lover away from her, but the cat wouldn't let go. Vera hurried to help her friend: she emptied a bucket of water on the cat and threw the animal out of the house. When she saw that Svetlana was bleeding, she called an ambulance.

When Svetlana returned home from the hospital, she had to tell the story to her husband, Boris. The man could not take the fact that his wife preferred having oral sex with a cat: Boris kicked Svetlana out of the house and the abandoned woman had to stay with her mother. The offended man is not going to forgive his wife: the couple is currently divorcing.

It is noteworthy that lonely women often use their pets (cats or dogs, regardless of sex) to satisfy their sexual needs. Such pet adventures often lead to lamentable consequences - not for pets, but for orgasm-craving women, as a rule. An overdose of valerian can make the loveliest cat become a fierce and aggressive animal.


tall and tasty
1st Dec 2004, 12:28
Bet this will have some interesting replies!

But I am sure there are men out there too who get up to these antics too


1st Dec 2004, 12:30
Yep I certainly like pussy as well but without the claws.
Though saying that some of the ones I've been with had those as well.

1st Dec 2004, 12:33
remembers me a joke :

2 dogs waiting at the veterinary

the small one : "you know, i m here because i tried to rape my mistress..and now.. she asked to cutoff my balls..sob..."
the bigger " i too...but she asked to file my nails"


1st Dec 2004, 12:38
Two pussies, eh? A true "blue on blue" incident then :E


1st Dec 2004, 13:00
but all of a sudden he seized the genitals of the poor woman with his claws and teeth


Something fishy here... Svetlana must have confused the poor kitty.

Love me... Love my violent drug induced rages... :cool:

I hate ****in cats.... (and I'll bet Svetlana'll think twice before she tries to again)

:ouch: :ok:

1st Dec 2004, 13:19
I find the story very hard to believe.

One of my cats often licks me between the hairy bits. Right between the eyes, I hasten to add. Her tongue feels like 80 grit sandpaper. A half dozen or so licks are about all I can take of this friendly gesture. I mean, you'd usually only use a bit of 80 grit on a rough bit of wood or plaster wouldn't you? Which might explain why her hubby wasn't paying her enough attention?! :uhoh:

On the other hand, dog's tongues are a lot smoother if I remember correctly from my dog-owning days...? :(

1st Dec 2004, 13:21
Well it's no wonder the cat went mad if valerian (http://www.coolfrenchcomics.com/valerian.htm)
was smeared across her genitals,it was probably jealous.;)

1st Dec 2004, 16:27
I knew a girl called Valerie. But years ago. I'd better wash me face extra well after I brush me teeth tonight then...:E

1st Dec 2004, 16:48
OH MY GOD!! Stop it! Just when I thought I had heard everything! What I don't get is, she's too shy, embarassed or frigid to get busy with her friend, but by all means have at it with poor Fluffy! With the friend coaching from the sidelines no less!!

"oh no Susie, I'm lonely, but I could never let you do that to me!" "But could you explain the details of the cat thing again?" Ewww! Gawd!!!!

1st Dec 2004, 16:54
You might have been more sympathetic if you worked for the Delta... people, hehe?! :O

1st Dec 2004, 17:25
Something fishy here... Svetlana must have confused the poor kitty.


surely not
1st Dec 2004, 18:35
So is valerian made out of anchovies then?

1st Dec 2004, 18:43
Thank goodness it wasn't a whale then...I think some whales really like anchovies. They also have very big uhmmmm, body parts...but I've yet to be compared to a whale ;)

Onan the Clumsy
1st Dec 2004, 23:54
Valerian? She should have just smeared on some Seaside Supper :ok:

isn't that the SOP?

But I am sure there are men out there too who get up to these antics too yes, but mostly with the vacuum cleaner. :ouch:

A10 Thundybox
2nd Dec 2004, 01:29
Oh yes get in from a hard days work and no wifey about

"Come on Fido, your next on the bu99ery list!"

What no Wifey and no Fido?

Best lay in the street with membrum smeared in fish paste

Tiddles favourite.

Sheesh we've all been there haven't we? (us men)

Er, or perhaps not.