View Full Version : political correctness gone mad

flying scotsman
25th Nov 2004, 17:00
apparently one of my orange chums made something like the following statement on the PA whilst flying over the NW of england.

" ladies and gents, hold on to your wallets, we're flying over liverpool..."

all pilots have now been warned not to be so silly on the PA's. I thought it was hillarious. wish I'd thought of it. apparently passengers fainted in shock, several hear attacks and feigned horror ensued. Journo got a hold of it and did a 'shock horror' expose.../

The good people of liverpool are now marching with blazing torches towards Luton to burn the place down for even daring to make fun of scousers (are we allowed call them that ?)

so much our famed national ability to take the p... out of ourselves.

Onan the Clumsy
25th Nov 2004, 17:04
I suppose they didn't even dare to fly over Glasgow then?

:} :} :p

flying scotsman
25th Nov 2004, 17:06
shhhhh, nobody is to know about our wallets syphoning tractor beams.........works very well on american tourists apparently :ok:

25th Nov 2004, 17:14
read today that the expression "brain storming" is not to be used any longer, coz it offends people who had a head injury!!!!!

now: how f:mad: stupid is that????

source: the times (today's)

25th Nov 2004, 17:17
There's now an excellent website (and a serious one at that) - the Campaign Against Political Correctness http://www.capc.co.uk. I can recommend it to all Ppruners! :O


25th Nov 2004, 17:32
Thanks for the link there 2Sticks.

The story section is great. I love this one:

My mother has recently had a blood test at the North Hampshire Hospital and was told to expect a little scratch. When asked what they meant she was told that they are no longer allowed to say 'small prick'!

So, I guess if you said "big prick" it would be ok then. :E

25th Nov 2004, 19:03
Sort of reminds me of the fact that circumsided blokes can't work for the CAA :E

25th Nov 2004, 20:34
luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie luvvie :}

25th Nov 2004, 21:27
Several years ago I was dining in a Met Police canteen not too far from LHR as a guest of 2 traffic officers - one with coloured skin...

After the grub they were going to buy the tea/coffee and my crewmate asked for a coffee, black with no sugar.

The non coloured officer said to his mate "You'd better get them in then as I daren't ask for that here!".

Apparently it was PC (excuse the pun!) to only ask for tea/coffee without milk.... as to refer to the coffee as black could be considered racist from a non coloured officer! :(

Similarly I was told recently on a training course I couldn't refer to a blackboard as such - it's a chalk board!

Sad sad world...


25th Nov 2004, 21:31
Does it just work one way? What about a "white board"?

Onan the Clumsy
25th Nov 2004, 21:43
So, I guess if you said "big prick" it would be ok then What if you said "Big prick with a huge swollen policeman's helmet" :}

That feels better. I'm fighting back :ok:

tony draper
25th Nov 2004, 21:54
We should all rebel,at a given signal we should rush out into the street and shriek politicaly incorrect words at the top of our voices, this would cause all the luvvies to panic cover their ears and fall to the ground twiching, hopefully their heads would explode from outrage overload.

25th Nov 2004, 22:04
Unfortunately not Drapes.

You'd probably be lynched (but not by a mob, as a mob is a group of Kangaroos, and that would be seen as unconsiderate of marsuipals)

25th Nov 2004, 22:10
Personally I don't believe in all this PC crap.
My washing machine has one wash cycle for whites, and a different one for coloureds.


25th Nov 2004, 22:19
Dead Heading.. yes it did! They re WIPE boards not white boards!


tony draper
25th Nov 2004, 22:25
Nephew says failed a promotion board because he used the phrase "Chinese Whispers" in a question and answer session, he said he knew as soon as he had uttered it, the sour faced harridan across the table from him scowled and jotted something on her pad, that was it, he knew he had blown it right there.
The lunatics really took over the asylum about a decade ago.

Feeton Terrafirma
25th Nov 2004, 22:33
really gives me the $hites when the Oz guvmint says on one hand that we are not biased, and that the population (me) should not be biased and the first thing they ask on many forms is "Are you of Aboriginal or Torres Straight Islander origin?" Then later you find out the reason they ask is they get special treatment. IE: more money if on the dole and preferential treatment in public hospitals over and above "ordinary" Australians. Now that is PC for you, and its no wonder I HATE IT

Standard Noise
25th Nov 2004, 23:12
Read a story in the paper the other day that a pharmacist, whose job it is to hand out pills/potions etc, refused a young lady the morning after pill as it was against his(the pharmacist's) religion. As a catholic, he does not believe in contraception of any sort and therefore refused this customer. IT'S NOT AS IF SHE ASKED HIM TO SWALLOW THE F***ING THING HIMSELF! She just wanted to buy a product for sale in the pharmacy.

Mrs Noise, who works for a rival pharmacy chain says yep, they can refuse to give it on medical grounds AND due to their own religious beliefs. Both Boots and Superdrug allow their staff to dictate their own terms on the matter as they are scared of being sued by the staff for not respecting their religious beliefs.
It's their human rights, innit?

If you don't want to do the job, you shouldn't take the money. Not give a half assed service and pick and choose which bits you carry out. But the chemist chains want to be seen to be PC, so they kowtow to these whims rather than doing what they're supposed to ie provide a service.

Bollocks to PC!

:mad: :mad:

25th Nov 2004, 23:42
The good people of liverpool are now marching with blazing torches towards Luton to burn the place down for even daring to make fun of scousers (are we allowed call them that ?)

Blazing torches? In close proximity to all those shell suits and hair do's?



:E :E :E

25th Nov 2004, 23:50

Did they teach you that calling black people "coloured people" is often considered offensive too or was that just for the purposes of your story?

Not being picky - just a tip mate. :ok:


26th Nov 2004, 00:06
Free speech is great. It allows honest debate.
Whenever attempt s to muzzle inteligent debate are attempted it is usually by people who are incapable of offering a convincing arguement or evidence of what they are saying has any truth or merit. The danger of such people is that they are quick to escalate their response to debate, into violence.How many times have we seen what happens when societies become intolerant of the opinions of others simply because they do not agree.. The only saving grace is that such intolerant peoples do not last long.It just seems like they do.
I think some of the nutbars have gone to far this time for twisting what Charles said into something that he would not have said .

26th Nov 2004, 00:11
All this claptrap comes from the fact Joe Public secretly wants to be shocked. People are chomping at the bit to become offended or horrified by anything these days so the truth must be twisted in order to cater for this sick clandestine pleasure.


Feeton Terrafirma
26th Nov 2004, 05:58
I think the real problem is that people have forgotten how to differentiate between racial (or any other) discrimination and simple description.

If I'm trying to point out a bloke across the room I could just as easily say:

1/ in the yellow shirt
2/ with the black hair
3/ the tall bloke
4/ the one with the suntan
5/ the abo
6/ the skinny feller

and none of them would be intended in any discriminatory sence. But thats not how some people wish to see it. Luvies (=idiots in my book).

Bino's I expected more of a diatribe from you mate ;)

26th Nov 2004, 08:43
So our government is allowed to attack another country on a false premise, kill and maim hundreds of thousands of innocent people including children.....but we AREN'T allowed to describe these people as....well, I daren't say it here.

Strange world we live in. Thank goodness I'm on another planet.


26th Nov 2004, 09:05
VFE... yep! But was trying not to generalise and didn't want to get jumped on for using the word black....

Seems you can't win doesn't it...... ;)


Standard Noise
26th Nov 2004, 10:43
I reckon that there are too many people out there that are scared of what others think of them, so they succumb to all this PC nonsense just so they don't get criticised.
As for me, I really don't care. Since the passing on of the Noisy parents a few years ago, as far as I'm concerned, there is no one on God's green earth (oh dear me, is that offensive to martians?) that I have to justify myself to. Even Mrs Noise has given up and lets me get on with it. I call a spade a spade, and before you moan, it's an implement for digging up spuds, at least it is where I come from.
If more people eschewed the PC cack, then it would wither and die, eventually.

A blackboard is a blackboard - it is not a chalk board as it is not made from chalk.

The "orange" airline may be a pain in the 'arris the odd time what with stranding you for being 1.5 seconds too late at check-in or running at 160kts downwind in their 73tortoise, but they do give us a good laugh from time to time.

26th Nov 2004, 11:24
Had to go to a meeting at the DTI once and referred to the bloke running the meeting as the chairman, a woman on the top table threw a wobbler and insisted that I referred to the Chair in the correct manner. I responded that he looked more like a man than a chair to me and she wobbled even more, an usher then came and whispered in my ear that if i didn't behave I would have to leave the building. It was more important to me to stay than leave so I stayed...

26th Nov 2004, 11:44
I had tears streaming down my face when I read td's first post. It put me in mind of the game Lemmings where you make them all self destruct - all the luvvies running out into the street, hands over their ears shaking their heads til eventually BOOM - gone.

Standard noise - would the same pharmacist then refuse to sell a condom? He'd rather treat the diseases, would he? Perhaps we can take the compensation culture to a whole other level. If he refuses and you get a dose, could you then sue him for refusing to supply the condom?

Feeton - sorry mate, you're not allowed to point someone out as that would imply that they had distinguishing features. According to the luvvies we are all the same. We all look the same, sound the same, act the same and dress the same, so it MUST be impossible to identify a single person. Henceforth everyone shall be known as Dave.



26th Nov 2004, 11:46
I remember this from an Equal Opportunities course that I was on once...

When I am born I am BLACK

When I grow up I am BLACK

When I am sick I am BLACK

When I die I am BLACK

When you are born you are PINK

When you grow up you are WHITE

When you are sick you are GREEN

When you go into the sun you are RED

When you are cold you are BLUE

When you die you go PURPLE

And you have the cheek to call me COLOURED!

26th Nov 2004, 11:54
Mr Draper, sir, you have, once again, cause me to guffaw at an inappropriate time and have just snorted orange fanta down my nose! ;)
(Note to self - do not drink while reading JB!)

Standard Noise
I'm sure you can NOT say:
God's green earth
As it is offensive to atheists and those of religious persuasions that do not recognise an single supreme "God".

Standard Noise
26th Nov 2004, 12:03
panda-k-bear - I believe they can, but I have not heard of one who has. Mrs Noise once worked with a pharmacist who would happily give out prescriptions for "the pill", but not the "morning after pill." As they are both forms of contraception, I don't see the difference, but maybe there are some enlightened Catholics on prune who could advise us of the difference.

As for condoms, they will, in all probability, direct you to a member of staff who can serve you. The problem with the "morning after pill" is that it can only (in a pharmacy) be administered by the pharmacist, not just any member of staff.

The young lady in question, is reported to have said that if she becomes pregnant as a result of this fiasco (although she did obtain the pill from somewhere else later), she will sue the chemist chain. And in today's climate, I wouldn't bet against her winning.

How about "on this planet created by an all seeing, all knowing being of indeterminate, or possibly no, religious affiliation."

26th Nov 2004, 12:12
That 'Campaign Against PC' with is the funniest thing I have read in years.

And what's funny is the the people posting on there are serious!!!

:D :) :p

Note to obviate flaming: Some of the objections are perfectly reasonable and I'm not a fan of 'PCism', but some (quite a lot in fact) take it all a bit too seriously and need to lighten up. That site is indicative of the juvenile 'PC!'/'Fascist!' level that political debate in this country has reached.

Nil nos tremefacit
26th Nov 2004, 16:21
I am a Non exec of a Government body. I am Chairman of the Race/Equal Opps Sub-Committee. We live in 'middle England'. 1.2% of the population we cover are ethnic; 1.9% of our employees are ethnic. 80% plus of our employees are female. We have just placed an advertisement for a new non-exec that encourages ethnic minorities and women to apply because they are under represented!!!!! At the committee I suggested that the figures imply that we should seek to employ more white males as being under represented. Guess who has been asked to stand down as chairman!:confused:

26th Nov 2004, 16:28
Good to see you using the word "chairman" Nil :ok:

It's actually short for "chair-manager", and IS NOT gender specific, no matter what the tree huggers try and tell you.

Standard Noise
26th Nov 2004, 16:44
On the magistrates association they are called "chair takers".
Now there are three interesting possibilities :-
1 - they are talking about the wee man who cleans up after business hours and mis-spelt the word,
2 - they've swallowed a PC dictionary,
3 - they are encouraging theft.

As long as it's not no2 I don't mind.

Bern Oulli
26th Nov 2004, 18:15
PC has not quite reached the East Dorset Bench I am pleased to say. Those of us (male or female) "who take the chair" are known as ...........surprise..........CHAIRMEN.

Onan the Clumsy
26th Nov 2004, 18:34
political correctness gone mad Sholdn't that be: political correctness exhibiting instability?

26th Nov 2004, 19:07

Since when was Chairman derived from Chair-Manager???

Surely, it comes from the same derivation as "mankind" i.e. HU-MAN!!

I am a Chairman of a Committee and will argue with anyone who calls me different. I don't like Chairwoman as it so obviously makes a point that doesn't need to be made and I HATE "Chair" - I am not a piece of fine Sheraton!



26th Nov 2004, 19:25
Over here the proper PC term is "Chair-person". :rolleyes:

26th Nov 2004, 19:52
Actually one's not permitted to use the term "God", one should henceforth plead for spiritual guidance thus:

The Politically Correct version of the Lords Prayer:

Our universal chairperson in outer space, your identity enjoys the highest rating on a prioritised selectivity scale. May your sphere of influence take on reality parameters; may your mindset be implemented on this planet as in outer space.

Allot to us, at this point in time and on a per diem basis, a sufficient and balanced dietary food intake, and rationalise a disclaimer against our negative feedback as we rationalise a disclaimer against the negative feedback of others.

And deprogram our negative potentials, but desensitise the impact of the counter-productive force. For yours is the dominant sphere of influence, the ultimate capability, and the highest qualitative analysis rating, at this point in time, and extending beyond a limited time-frame.

End of message.

26th Nov 2004, 19:55
Yes, I saw that on the site VP and it's quite clearly a wind-up.

But the people at Campaign for Political Correctness seem to have taken it on face value. Which rather suggests they are somewhat lacking in a sense of humour. :)

26th Nov 2004, 20:37

>they are somewhat lacking in a sense of humour.

I disagree, I'm sorry to say. I think they're lacking sense.

26th Nov 2004, 23:19

I wish I had the exact reference, but it was probably the only thing I remember from a University lecture I sat in regarding business communications. I'm trawling the web to try and find it (although, I'm sure ORAC will be able to se me straight ;) )

I wonder if it's PC to have a Mentor?

Send Clowns
26th Nov 2004, 23:44
Ermmmm, Wedge, I think you have it the wrong way 'round. I think you have taken that contribution to their site a little too seriously. There is nothing to suggest that they take it seriously at all.

27th Nov 2004, 14:05
Anyone who thinks that the use of the word "man" as part of words such as "chairman" is sexist merely betrays their own lack of education.

The word "Man" derives from the Latin "Homo", which merely describes the species, not the gender. In Latin, if you wanted to refer specifically to the male of the species, you used the word "Vir" instead. Thus the word "Man" includes both male and female.

And if anyone really, REALLY thinks that describing as "black" something that actually is painted black, such as the board up at the front of a classroom, is racist, then they are in serious need of psychiatric help.

The problem with use of the words "coloured" or "black" is not the words themselves. It is the attitude behind them. And you don't change those attitudes by banning the use of the word. If anything, you reinforce the negative attitude by making people resent not being able to use a perfectly descriptive word for something that a teacher uses chalk upon.

Standard Noise
27th Nov 2004, 16:27
Well, as my ma used to say, "there's nothing like a good heavy thunderstorm to clear the air!"

Well said that man.

flying scotsman
28th Nov 2004, 19:46
I think you may find that the said thunderstorm may wish to be calssified as a :

'weight challenged thunderstorm'

:E :E

El lute
28th Nov 2004, 22:36
Spot on!
It would be hilarious if it weren't for so many taking it seriously.
Fortunately all this PC stuff hasn't caught on over here.
Thanks to the channel?

Send Clowns
3rd Jun 2005, 08:42
People in charge of our lives just keep getting more stupid. Now a hospital trust is considering banning Gideon's Bibles (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/06/03/nbible03.xml&sSheet=/news/2005/06/03/ixhome.html) because they think it might be offensive to ethnic minorities. In doin so they have no only offended teh ethnic majority but, apparently, at least one minority as well (they seem to think minorities more important than majorities. Do you think we have this whole democracy thing the wrong way round?).

The world has gone nuts.

Gideons International come out very well from the row: they offered to include contact details fo anyone who wants a book of another faith. That's religious tolerance.

Squawk 2650
3rd Jun 2005, 09:26
Send Clowns I heard that today too!! Whats going on! Its as bad as last year when they were talking about not allowing Christmas cards with pictures of the nativity scene to be hung up in the office cause it might cause offence to non christians!?! The world really has gone mad!! Who suggests things like this….???:confused:


3rd Jun 2005, 10:01
Well, there was also the issue of MSRA infection - don't know how true that is, but MSRA is spread by hand contact, so how exactly do you sterilise a bible ?

Anyway, what right do the Gideons have to peddle their belief system to people just because they're ill ? To me it's no different to allowing McDonald's or somebody to put adverts for their products in hospital wards. At least they'd be paying for the privilege...

3rd Jun 2005, 10:01
lifted from the Campaign Against PC website:-

In more than one call centre job I have been told to substitute the words "Yankee" and "Zulu" in the phonetic alphabet with "Yellow" and "Zebra", to avoid causing offence.

Burnt Fishtrousers
3rd Jun 2005, 12:29

Couldnt agree more.

Do these arrogant Guardians of political correctness actually consult with ethnic minorities before trying to enforce such banal clap trap?I think not. Your average person of ethnick minority couldnt give too hoots whether you use "Zulu" as part of the phonetic or their kids are taught by a teacher who uses a dark pigment chalk board.

Imagine the future were most jokes would be banned.

This Celtic caucasian person of Irish extraction went into a hostelery in Douglas on the Isle of Person and asked the liquid stimulant operative for a euro measure of Irelands best dark pigment stout. Of course sir, exclaimed the liquid stimulant opertive. "those clouds are looking a bit dark pigment today I think were in for some precipitation"..etc etc etc

I think it would be wise if these PC types indulged in a little procreation and travel of a velocitous nature

Onan the Clumsy
3rd Jun 2005, 16:12
so how exactly do you sterilise a bible ? Well I suppose you could always dip it in the toilet...

El Grifo
3rd Jun 2005, 18:03
I have always wondered where the expression "To call a spade a spade" would fit into this newthink style.


Onan the Clumsy
3rd Jun 2005, 18:32
To call a playing card suit a digging instrument?

3rd Jun 2005, 18:36
Quite a while ago,[after a traumatic divorce] I got "bumped off" the return leg of a Fam Flight. The Hotel that I stayed in had a Gideon Bible for Travellers on the bedside table. Personally, I found it a great help. :ok: But I did NOT have to read it ,

Standard Noise
5th Jun 2005, 10:19
Why not just cellophane wrap the bibles and if, after a patient leaves the ward, the bible has had it's wrapper removed, it is taken away and replaced with a new one in a wrapper?
Or is that too intelligent an idea for the PC fruitcakes to understand?

And has anyone actually asked these "ethnic minorities" what their view is?

5th Jun 2005, 10:44
I think it was Sammy Davies Jr who reputedly said on stage in Vegas,

"I'm up here with black skin, black eyes and black hair, you are in the audience with pink skin, blue eyes and yellow hair,



:confused: :confused:

5th Jun 2005, 12:02
"YELLOW"......now do not be insulting to the French please!

Maybe even our Asian friends might take offense at that....

Don't you just love the use of the phrase "his or her" as in "their choice" or in lieu of "one's choice". We must not offend the NOW gang.

5th Jun 2005, 15:32
Recently spotted on the Crime Page of the West Australian....

"Police are looking for a male person aged about 25 and approximately 170 cm tall with dark coloured hair wearing........etc etc...."

The CCTV picture of the miscreant caught in the act clearly shows..............an aboriginal! Seems that it is all part of the campaign to reduce the fact that aboriginals are "over represented" in the criminality stakes.

6th Jun 2005, 08:12
Bible endorses drugs....

Jamie Doward
Sunday March 13, 2005
The Observer

For centuries scholars have argued over the most delicate nuances of biblical texts, passionately debating whether key words should be tweaked to reflect cultural changes.

But, despite the fervent exchange of such learned views, there has been no fretting about whether the Bible endorses dope-smoking. Until now.

A 15-strong panel of eminent theologians and linguists was so concerned that young people reading the Bible today are confusing the phrase 'stoned' not with Old Testament executions but with drugs, that it has suggested a radical clarification to a forthcoming edition of the sacred text.

In an attempt to clear up any confusion on the part of Britain's youth, Today's New International Version Bible, published by Hodder & Stoughton on Tuesday, updates the original edition, published 27 years ago, so that people are 'stoned to death', rather than 'stoned'.

'We wanted to keep it from being confused with drug addiction,' Professor Ronald Youngblood, who chaired the panel, told the Church Times newspaper.

The clarification is an effort by the panel to modernise its earlier edition of the Bible, which became the most popular English language version in the world.

Scholars may sense political correctness in the changes. Out goes terminology such as 'he', 'man' and 'men', replaced by 'person' or 'people'. In comes an attempt to dispel anti-Semitic interpretations of the New Testament. John 5:16 now reads 'Jewish leaders', rather than Jews, 'began to persecute Jesus'.

The panel said that the changes were being made to 'increase understanding' rather than make the Bible more contemporaneous.

'There is a need to reach today's generation with language they can understand and relate to,' the panel states on the TNIV website.

Overall, around seven per cent of the original New International Version Bible has been altered in a bid to bring clarity to a new generation of readers. Some of the changes appear trivial. For example, Matthew's use of the word 'tunic' becomes 'shirt' and his phrase 'with child' becomes 'pregnant'. However, some changes are more profound. Use of the word 'Christ', which was popular with Greek-speaking churches, has been replaced by the Hebrew title 'Messiah'.


Send Clowns
6th Jun 2005, 08:24

As the article points out Gideons International contacted medical specialists who said there was no increased risk of MRSA spreading.

They are not really peddaling their belief system, but making it available. It is a discrete bible in a drawer! Notice that they also make books of other faiths available on request. I am an atheist myself, so of a contrary religious persuasion, but consider it offensive that this is even being considered.

tony draper
6th Jun 2005, 09:09
So any reference to Homosexuals in Mathew no longer reads Tunic lifters?

6th Jun 2005, 09:14
'stoned to death'...them bible people must have been doin' some heavy shit man ;)

6th Jun 2005, 12:10
'stoned to death' It must have been during one of those periods that He came up with that camel going through the eye of a needle stuff too...;)

Send Clowns
6th Jun 2005, 13:28
Surely the term 'stoned to death' would give the same sort of warning as 'Smoking Kills' as on cigarette packets, and discourage pot!

Onan the Clumsy
6th Jun 2005, 14:31
Not necessarily. Death through smoking involves, lots of hacking, expectorating of phlegm and wheezing during the least strenous of activity.

Death through pot is often a lot quicker, and in the rural comunities at least often involves a railroad trestle or a water tower.

In any event, the hacking etc is replaced by a sense of euphoria and a huge appetite

...or so I've been told.

Ralph the Bong
6th Jun 2005, 15:54
Yeah? Well, in Australia there is a brand of cheese called Coon.

Onan the Clumsy
6th Jun 2005, 16:07
Ralph. Long time no see.

In the US, they have a bleach called Biz :confused:

6th Jun 2005, 16:11
so how exactly do you sterilise a bible ?
Well I suppose you could always dip it in the toilet...

It'd certainly be a more balanced publication. . you'd have S**t on the outside as well. . .