View Full Version : Ashes above the clouds....

23rd Nov 2004, 03:16
Not sure if this is the right spot for this, but......


My favourite quote "The poor departed-one generally ends up inside a vacuum cleaner "

Good Luck, Jim :)

23rd Nov 2004, 11:38
Must beat hauling newspapers and other freight on the BAe748. Flew quite a few times with Jim during my Emerald days. We used to carry the odd body but never had the audacity to chuck it out before landing... at least not in a carbonised state.

23rd Nov 2004, 11:46
One was mistaken for coffee and drunk by grandson's pissed mates the other day, a fate I believe was engineered by a member of the Mil aircrew forum as well for another dearly departred.

Onan the Clumsy
23rd Nov 2004, 12:15
When I was a skydiver, I heard a story of an ashes jump that went horribly wrong. It took 'em ages to get their faces cleaned up. :ugh:

23rd Nov 2004, 12:22
Aren't you supposed to be working Onan? Congrats BTW.

23rd Nov 2004, 12:37
Friends in the village where I live went to honour Grandads last request that his ashes be scattered at sea by scattering the ashes off the end off Minehead harbour wall. Unfortunately due to a strong and inclemently directed wind they suffered a situation known, I believe, as 'getting your own back'.

Another lass I know, her Grandmother asked that her ashes be scattered over Paris. This proved difficult, with no chance of getting a permit. A subterfuge was then arranged with Grandma's ashes being placed in plastic bags. Various members of the family travelling to Paris, each with a bag, which they then scattered in parts of the city. The lass I know was arrested in Montparnasse after a gendarme spotted her scattering her share of ash and suspected her of trying to dispose of illegal substances.

B Fraser
23rd Nov 2004, 12:53
A mate of mine has a pet crematorium and took delivery of someone's dearly departed dog. All seemed perfectly simple with no special instructions on what to do with the remains and the job was carried out that afternoon.

The phone rang the following day and the owner asked if the dog's remains could be returned in an urn as she decided that scattering the ashes in the fields where they used to walk would be a fitting send-off. Rather than break the news that it was too late, my buddy gathered up the remains from that morning's work and duly filled up an urn.

A few days later, a furious husband called up to complain that his wife had scattered the ashes from the urn and out dropped a nametag with "Tiggy" on it :}

It made the papers :O

23rd Nov 2004, 20:41
I had to do an "ashes" charter to 7000' once in a C-206.

In fact those ashes were a little plastic bag full of white hairs. :ugh:
(don't ask me why this instead of...I don't know)

3 family members were sitting behind me as I opened my left window to blow the "remains" away.
To ensure that everything would just go away I wanted to do a sideslipe at the same time (not good).

Worse than this, I endded up doing a left one.... :ooh:
Got covered with those white hairs.
Even had to spit some of them :yuk:

Fortunately, nobody noticed my mistake as they were all dealing with their tears :E

23rd Nov 2004, 21:50
Many a time I have adapted a Coastguard maroon rocket to dispense the ashes instead of a maroon at 1,000 feet.

Quite a nice way to scatter ashes in the wind.

23rd Nov 2004, 21:59
The ashes from the northern part of my family have been scattered on the yorkshire moors, among others. Me grandpa was one of those, but on a holiday in the Lakes, an area grandpa loved walking in, when my dad was wearing his old walking boots, after climbing Skafell Pike one last time, they fell to bits. We left them in a lake, overlooking one of his favourite areas of the lakes.

Sounds a bit silly, but the memory brings a tear to me eye.

24th Nov 2004, 09:07
A long-departed great aunt had her ashes scattered on Exmoor, where she apparently liked to go walking.

As a child I was subsequently taken, somewhat unwillingly, on a trip to the spot by several other great aunts, etc, taking with us a large floral wreath. Unfortunately when we got there heavy rain had flooded the heather and a big pond had formed at the spot.

I suggested that we cast the wreath out on the water like a burial at sea. I was told I was a wicked boy .....

tony draper
24th Nov 2004, 09:20
Bollix to that,bits of me might land in Sunderland. :uhoh:

24th Nov 2004, 09:22
We used to pop them down the flare chute on the Shacklebomber - but it wasn't a good idea to pour them down as they would indeed blow back - a suitable open-ended container was required, if I remember correctly.

24th Nov 2004, 12:04
Many a time I have adapted a Coastguard maroon rocket to dispense the ashes instead of a maroon at 1,000 feet. Interesting but my guess is that you would not be able to accomdate all of the deceased's cremated remains in a single marron? Although it varies greatly from one person to another, the average amount of ashes from a cremation in the UK is 5lbs, (over 2kg). So - what did you do with the rest??!! But I know that many families do split the ashes and take them to different places.

I recall that my grandmother wanted to have her ashes scattered in the churchyard of her childhood and on the graves of her parents there. We did our best but gran did generate a mighty pile of ashes (all those fags) and much landed up on the pathway.

Going into the church afterwards, we saw a notice about a wedding for that afternoon. I still imagine the happy bride sweeping into church in her white gown and sweepng granny off the path into church with her. :E

"I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you any different." Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

24th Nov 2004, 12:57
Had a friend who's ashes were released from a Mirage's airbrakes over the Kruger Park in SA.

24th Nov 2004, 14:40
Given the popularity of spreading ashes, perhaps NASA really is a very forward-looking organisation after all. See here. (http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=80261&highlight=sts107) :uhoh:

BTW, STS-107, Chronicle Of A Disaster Foretold? was my title. Please engrave it on my tombstone...:p

24th Nov 2004, 19:24
Every success to Jim in this endeavour. He is a top bloke representing the true essence of enthusiasm for aviation.

blue up
24th Nov 2004, 20:09
Barry F Euatance (I now know what the F stands for after working for him) told me about having to take a S*** whilst flying some pax home from Belgium (?) in a Mooney. Against a strong headwind that was keeping the destination a long time away, our interpid hero decided to change seats with a pax sat in the rear. Taking a trusty duty-free bag, he curled off the offending article into the plastic. Unfortunately this stench set off the pax who was already dangerously close to throwing-up. Sadly there was just the one duty free bag and now the mix was sloshing around and creating a nasty niff!
Opening the DV window, Barry hooked the neck of the bag out and gave the rest of the bag a good squeeze. The "soup" screached out at 100mph down to the ocean below.
Unnnnnnnfortunately.....the aerodynamics caused a rather stinky stripe to be added to the Mooney.


Solid Rust Twotter
24th Nov 2004, 20:24
A friend was killed in a skydiving accident just before the Freak Brothers Convention a few years back. As he'd already booked his seat his family asked that he be taken along in his little jar. On the flight to the USA he was shown the flight deck of the Hercules where the A/C spread the top layer around a bit. He was taken on a few jumps and to all the good parties where he was opened up and left to enjoy the view and the live music along with the odd sip of beer. Around the time of departure it was noted that he was looking a bit thin so at a final bash he was topped up from various ashtrays and other places. Think most of him is with his family but the rest is still having a great time all over the world........

Not going to go into any detail about another ash drop that got blown into the aircraft and the jumpers spent the rest of the day trying to figure out what the stuff was, including tasting it. Nearly got beaten to death in the bar that evening when I told them.....:E