View Full Version : Alexander the Great

22nd Nov 2004, 14:00

Greek lawyers are threatening to sue the makers of new film epic Alexander for showing him as bisexual. The lawyers, led by Yannis Varnakos, said it is "pure fiction and not a true depiction of Alexander's life", and want this made clear to cinema-goers.

Colin Farrell, who plays the title role in Oliver Stone's new film, said: "Ambivalent sexuality was something of the times and part of the character".

Director Stone said there was a historian on set to ensure accuracy. The film-maker added there was no question that the legendary ruler had "a polymorphous sensuality and was an explorer in the deepest sense of the word". :ooh:

22nd Nov 2004, 14:39
So who gives a shit except a few Greek lawyers with money in their eyes?

22nd Nov 2004, 14:46
Binos, I think you hit the nail on the head with that one!:ok:

tony draper
22nd Nov 2004, 14:49
Ha!, he was a know chain mail lifter.

22nd Nov 2004, 14:50
The bloke wasn't even Greek!

tony draper
22nd Nov 2004, 14:57
His mum bumped off his dad didn't she?, well I mean, he was never gonna turn out a social worker was he.

22nd Nov 2004, 16:03
How do they think EVERYBODY agreed he was Great?

22nd Nov 2004, 16:07
When they gonna make a movie about some of his contempararies?

What about Nigel The Slightly Below Average and Philip the Adequate?

22nd Nov 2004, 16:09
Starring Biggus Dickus?!

No wait, he was Roman

23rd Nov 2004, 06:20
I didn't know Alex was bi-sexual? I thought he was Gay? :confused:

23rd Nov 2004, 09:24
Congratulations, fellow JetBlasters. I was always confident that with teamwork we could bring this speciously serious thread down to our level!

Try another one, ORAC.

23rd Nov 2004, 09:48
What about Nigel The Slightly Below Average

Now just slow down there Gainsey everyone knows that 8" is adequate.

As for Alexander those Greek soldiers wear white skirts so what do you expect.

Buster Hyman
23rd Nov 2004, 10:28
Two Greeks are sitting on a dock looking out to sea. One looks sad.
"Stavros. Wassa madder wit you?"
"You see that fishing boat out there? I catch three times as many fish as anyone in this village. But do they call me Stavros the Fisherman? No." He looks down. "This pier. I built this pier. Do they call me Stavros the builder? No."
His eyes begin to moisten..."But you fark one goat....."

23rd Nov 2004, 10:34
Hey, I knew his cousin, Luigi! Alla my life I builda the bridge... do they call me Luigi the Bridge Builder? etc.........

The oldies are always the best, Buster! :ok:

23rd Nov 2004, 10:36
Erm, wasn't young Alex King of Macedonia though? So why are the Greeks gettin all het up about it? :confused:

23rd Nov 2004, 10:39
Will the soundtrack feature Aztruck and his band singing their epic song about the man?

Buster Hyman
23rd Nov 2004, 10:43
Bino's It's the only Greek joke I know...apart from Athens.

23rd Nov 2004, 10:49
Come to think of it, Buster, you're one Greek joke up on me. :ooh:

23rd Nov 2004, 10:58
I know one:

3 Greeks and 3 Turks are travelling by train to a conference. At the station, the 3 Turks each buy tickets and watch as the 3 Greeks buy only a single ticket.
"How are 3 people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one Turk.
"Watch and you'll see," answers one Greek.

They all board the train. The Turks take their respective seats but all three Greeks cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Turks saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Turks decide to copy the Greeks on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Greeks don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Turk.
"Watch and you'll see," answers a Greek.

When they board the train the 3 Turks cram into a restroom and the 3 Greeks cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Greeks leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Turks are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

23rd Nov 2004, 11:02
I think that is what is called in the trade an "ultimately variable joke". Substitute any nationality depending on where you're telling it!

Buster Hyman
23rd Nov 2004, 11:12
Yeah, like the one about the French guy on an internet forum that.....oh, never mind.;)

23rd Nov 2004, 11:19
I assumed this thread was about me.

23rd Nov 2004, 14:41
That's probably lost on 99.7% of the people round here Rex.

23rd Nov 2004, 14:52
I think we should blame the Greeks! :O

23rd Nov 2004, 14:57
And just what have they done for us lately? :E

Biggles Flies Undone
23rd Nov 2004, 15:01
timeo Danaos et dona ferentes :eek:

tony draper
23rd Nov 2004, 15:14
His dad didn't have much of a career choice either,not when yer called Phillip the Barbarian.

23rd Nov 2004, 17:08
Someone told me the Greeks had lost their marbles.

23rd Nov 2004, 17:28
ah, now we'll have to blame the English. :E

23rd Nov 2004, 18:26
Just don't sound like you're having a whinge there Reds! ;)

23rd Nov 2004, 18:37
We`ve all witnessed the way in which Hollywood alters history: the various films altering the facts of WW2 for the sake of their domestic box office are known very well to us.

It`s refreshing to see another nationality having to put up with this sort of thing: I can`t wait to see the Hollywood biopic of Pythagorus, in which the hero is played by Brad Pitt, as a time travelling Edison, etc etc

23rd Nov 2004, 20:39
They'd never get the right angle.... :}

24th Nov 2004, 08:31
new film epic Alexander for showing him as bisexual I wonder, will Disney be the distributor?

Bob Upndown
24th Nov 2004, 08:36
Alexander was indeed bisexual, particularly in his 'formative' years when he and his best friend, Hephastion would explore their emerging *ahem* tastes.

As he grew older (and conquered more kingdoms) he tended to shy away from male company, preferring instead to bag the mostly stunningly beautiful wives of the kings and satraps he had just killed when conquering their lands.

Top way of pulling the birds methinks :}

Still, don't understand why the Greeks are upset; he was indeed the King of Macedonia. More likely, if the film is for once true to life, they are upset that they will have been portrayed as murderous, back-stabbing catamites who repeatedly betrayed him whilst puporting to be his allies in the Pan-Hellenic league.

Sorry, back on the level of the thread, so yes, he was a whoopsy (but got his leg over supermodels as well!):) :)

24th Nov 2004, 08:59
The Greeks will be after you with their knives. The Greeks consider ancient Macedonia as a province of Greece and still own the eastern half as the province of Macedonia, hence, they also claim Alexander as part of their heritage.

When Macedonia became a member of the UN it had to do so under the name "Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia" (FYROM) because Greece will not accept their right to the name. To them, it implies that Macedonia has a territorial claim to the Greek province and also implies Alexander was not Greek. Greece has imposed at least two trade embargoes against the country as a result.

Ah.... The Balkans.

tony draper
24th Nov 2004, 09:05
So the chap was fond of hopping on Hoplites?.

24th Nov 2004, 09:09
Hitting on the Hittites?

24th Nov 2004, 11:29
Why did the young Greek boy run away from home?

He didnt like the way he was being reared.

tony draper
24th Nov 2004, 12:15
One thing is certain, they should never have been allowed to put to Sea, they where a dammed marine menace and universaly loathed by those who went down to the sea in ships.

24th Nov 2004, 12:28
Wouldn't it have been easier to go down to the sea in a taxi or summat?

24th Nov 2004, 12:44
Alexander the Grate (http://edition.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Movies/11/23/review.alexander/index.html) :suspect:

24th Nov 2004, 13:13
Alexander the Grater


Mr Chips
24th Nov 2004, 13:31
Why did the young Greek boy run away from home?
Why did he return home?

He couldn't leave his brother's behind :p

Flip Flop Flyer
24th Nov 2004, 14:08
There was a bit of a diplomatic row between Greece and Denmark a few years ago, not that it had any real significane and probably never made international news. As it was, the then Danish Foreign Secretary was quick off the mark to welcome the republic of Macedonia into Europe, which had the effect of making the Greeks throw their collective toys out the pram and cry murder. Someone made the connection between to feta cheese (now it gets tricky) as Denmarks was, and still is, the largest EU exporter of Feta. But Greece was launching a case with the EU moving to ban the Danes from using the word 'feta' as they claimed sole ownership of the . . . . brand I suppose the term would be. Bit the same as the French having sole rights to the words Cognac and Champagne. However, Cognac and Champagne are the names of distinct and clearly defined areas in France, whereas Feta is nothing of the kind. Where this whoe charade is currently at, I have no idea. But the Greeks did manage to block the name 'Republic of Macedonia' and not long after a Greek airline was launched, based in Thessaloniki and aptly named 'Macedonian'. Talk about stealing sunshine :hmm:

24th Nov 2004, 14:34
Alexander the Grate


24th Nov 2004, 20:50
Translated from an ancient Greek inscription in Athens.

We came , we saw , we concreted.