View Full Version : Reports coming in

6th Nov 2004, 11:58
Breaking news just coming off the wire.

A Scottish Moderator sometimes known as 10W or more commonly known as Dubs is belived to have been taken Hostage by the Viet Taff.

He was last seen being force fed Alcohol in an establishment referred to by the Viet Taff as " headquarters". Headquarters is thought to be in the Upmarket Cardiff Bay area of the Fine City of Cardiff Capitol City of Wales.

As yet no ransom note has been received but it is thought the shadowy organisation is led by a rather suave individual who masquerades as an Airline Captain during the week.

As soon as more is known about the potential kidnap of this popular individual and the demands being made by his captors we shall let you know

6th Nov 2004, 12:15
Just been pushed under my door..... uh oh... these people mean business


6th Nov 2004, 12:18
Goodness I didn't realise they would be demanding so much.

Uumm but what if PPRuNe hierarchy don't actually want Dubs back, wonder what on earth they will do with him.

Think there is a rugby match on this afternoon maybe they will inflict that upon him, poor Bugga :uhoh:

6th Nov 2004, 12:26
Dubs who? And what was the threat again?

tony draper
6th Nov 2004, 13:25
Ah Cardiff ,Butte Road, Tiger Bay, Drapes spent a glorious three weeks leave there in the olden days, what a time,exotic eateries drinking and gambling clubs, dusky maidens flinging themselves at ones feet begging one to father blond haired blue eyed babies for them, pubs open 24 hours a day, not a policeman to be seen, twas heaven for one hell bent on a life of debaunchery, alas one hears its all posh now.


6th Nov 2004, 13:27
They signed it "Love the Viet Taff"

Isn't that nice.

DX Wombat
6th Nov 2004, 13:36
I suspect some sort of scam by the Viet Taff. Let's look at this VERY carefully:
1 He was last seen being force fed Alcohol Since when has anybody needed to force feed Dubs with alcohol? :E They have obviously got the wrong person :ok:
2Upmarket Cardiff Bay :p :D :D Is there such a place? :hmm:
3individual who masquerades as an Airline Captain during the week :hmm: Well with that accurate description and about 80,000 members in here many of whom could easily fill it, it's going to take a looooooooong time to discover the culprit. The remarks about Rabbit and Air Wales are probably to divert our attention from the real culprit.
I suspect it is Dubs himself who is just trying to get a few more days away from work and has deamed up this novel solution. :E :E :E

6th Nov 2004, 13:37
Hey that's a good one.

"Yup. Sorry boss. Won't be at work on Monday. Seems I've been a bit taken hostage. Yeah, sorry about that. Bloody Taffs."

6th Nov 2004, 14:03
Perhaps work won't even notice? Isn't Dubs also known as "Stealth"?
Suave airline pilot? Yeah right. :D

Good luck Dubs. :ok:

6th Nov 2004, 14:43
Capt PPRuNe & PPRuNe Towers want to know how many other Mods you can take off their hands?

If you take a minimum of 5, they'll pay for the airfare to Cardiff themselves.

6th Nov 2004, 15:23
And you can keep Dubs; he drinks far too much of my whisky!!! In fact, how much do you want to keep him for at least a year?

6th Nov 2004, 15:34
Are the Viet Taff the same as the Viet Gwent? Or is the VT a rebranded version of the VG?

6th Nov 2004, 16:35
"We're the real Viet Taff"

"No your not. WE are the real Viet Taff!!!!"

6th Nov 2004, 16:43
The Viet Taff have been in touch again....


6th Nov 2004, 16:46
How do we know that's the real Viet Taff.

We will not bow to these demands.

6th Nov 2004, 17:58
Nah ....... you'll have to pay us if you want to get rid of him!!

6th Nov 2004, 18:02
What makes you think they want him back??

6th Nov 2004, 19:53
Deeply worried about our Dubs incarcerated by those who should know better...

Even more worried about the possible 'dark side' of the previous poster.. :(

6th Nov 2004, 20:56
Just rang my old mucker the Archbishop of Taff. Got his secretary who said he's been called out to a party with some locals and a geezer in a kilt.

Apparently Barry isn't expected back till about Wednesday, so it could be quite a party.

Shanwick will be a quiet area for a bit...

6th Nov 2004, 21:47
Oooer I got a phone call myself this afternoon, loads of distressing noises in the background.
Sounded like "whose round is it next? ", oh dear wonder how many rounds they are going to put into him :confused:

6th Nov 2004, 21:55
'ere, you don't suppose they're going to make him a druid?

DX Wombat
6th Nov 2004, 21:58
I shouldn't get too upset about the distressing sounds if I were you Flower. It was probably the thought of having to part with money rather than actual bodily harm which produced the dreadful sounds. ;) Hehehe Keef, I can just imagine Dubs in a long green robe and headdress :D :D :D Even less can I imagine him getting up before dawn to celebrate the Summer Solstice at Stonehenge.

7th Nov 2004, 05:01
Sounds like a really tuff bunch... probably uncompromising too! :} It must be doing wonders to Dubs' ego to know how much he isn't being missed by the PPRuNe hierachy! :p I'm sure he won't be missed at Shanwick either! :D

Looks like the VT will have to return him, just to demonstrate how really vile they can be! :E

7th Nov 2004, 05:20
I think they are a splinter group the "Love Viet Taff" as all the "Real Viet Taff" will be at Millenium Stadium for the rugby (which Seth Africa won). Brent Cockbain, Welsh No.4, ex-Brisbane boy did a good job too.

Feeton Terrafirma
7th Nov 2004, 05:55
I don't think we should negotiate with terrorists.
We have a choice of ignore them and they will go away, OR blow em up. Personnally, although I'm totally against violence of any sort I think blow em up sounds good.

OR we could send Ms Flaps over there to tell em off ;)

7th Nov 2004, 06:08
Dirty Pierre,
Intelligence received appears to show them at the Millennium Stadium yesterday afternoon, there was talk that accompanying them was a guy in a Skirt whatever that means.

It is Believed that the illustrious leader of the Viet Taff will be personally responsible today for the movement of Dubs out of the area. The illustrious leader is often called "inspirational" and for some reason the followers chant " one, two , three , four" whilst doing things with their fingers.
All very bizarre.

Have none of you sympathy for Dubs fate at the hands of this man ?

7th Nov 2004, 06:19
Cruel and unusual punishment is prohibited under the Rules of Engagement, Feets, and I am surprised at you for suggesting ...

we could send Ms Flaps over there to tell em off
I thought you were more ethical than that and I think you should be ashamed of yourself for even suggesting such a drastic course of action. People could get hurt. :uhoh:

I think they should rig up a very efficient sound system and play Barry Manilow non-stop and at full volume. They'd surrender before the day was up. :E

7th Nov 2004, 09:15
Pobol Y Cwm TV has apparently received an " Inspirational" video of Dubs which they are refusing to show, it talks about how much Salt Walter Crocodiles enjoy a snack of Wels Rabbit for their lunch :eek: :eek:

DX Wombat
7th Nov 2004, 13:15
Flower, are you sure that shouldn't be "Inebriated" rather than "Inspirational"?:E If he's talking about salties in the UK he sounds as if he is rambling. :uhoh: :\ Drink induced delusions of grandeur by any chance? :uhoh: Perhaps he has ideas of emulating the actions of that prize aussie twerp Steve Irwin and dangling a baby in front of one.:ooh: :{

7th Nov 2004, 16:12
Just had a call from the Provisional Meibion Glyndwr to tell me they know nothing about all this, and suggesting it's the Viet Jock trying to pull a fast one.

7th Nov 2004, 18:29
Its just been announced on the S4C (Welsh TV Channel) news that the Viet Taff are going to trade Dubbs with the Ceredigion branch of the Taffia!!

The Viet Taff spokesman said:

" Maer amser wedi dod ini gael gwared ar y dyn yma. Mae'o wed yfed pob dyferin sydd gennym ac mae Mrs Jones yn achwyn am y drewi sy'n dod or lle"!

The Taffia stated that they were not sure what bus they would catch to Cardiff to go and get him, but were confident that it would be soon.

7th Nov 2004, 21:37
That wasn't Mrs Jones said that, it was Mrs Trellis. That's what I heard on the Radio Ceredigion World Service, anyway.

Boss Raptor
7th Nov 2004, 22:05
U lot take Wales far too seriously!?

Now if it were sunny with rum and ganja like Barbados I could understand it...mind u does have a couple of Nuclear Power Stations :E

Have to move entire population to Guyana though (or similar)

7th Nov 2004, 23:05
It's not possible to take Wales too seriously. I have three Welsh granddaughters... and that's pretty serious, I have to say.

DX Wombat
8th Nov 2004, 01:43
A strange rumour is circulating made all the more mysterious by the fact that two relevant websites appear to have been sabotaged as I am unable to contact them. :ooh: Apparently passengers on an Air Wales flight to Prestwick from Cardiff late yesterday afternoon reported hearing muffled screams and loud thumps and bangs from the hold of the aircraft.:ooh: They also said that the FO (name unknown at present) looked extremely shocked and was heard muttering something about never wanting to fly with that *************** Captain Bluelights again. The passengers were said to have been extremely distressed by the whole matter. "He, (Captain Bluelights) tried to tell us it was quite normal to hear odd noises and thumps and there was nothing to be concerned about but I know better. I have flown once before and there was definitely either something seriously wrong with the jet or it was haunted. Those screams were horrendous" said Jock MacJourno. "I'm sure we were only seconds away from disaster. I shall be making a full report in my column in The Glasgow Rumourmonger and Nonsense Reporter. This sort of thing shouldn't be allowed. That Captain Bluelights should be made to tell the truth - that we were all about to die and it was only the skill of the FO which saved the day." Representatives of Air Wales and Prestwick Airport Management were unavailable for comment and both websites remain down. :hmm:
People living near to a famous golf course on the west coast of Scotland later reported seeing an extremely dishevelled man wearing a kilt and behaving in a deranged manner uttering wild cries of "Whisky! Give me whisky! Stella! I need Stella now!" The whisky was soon forthcoming but they were unable to trace Stella as the man appeared unable to remember her address. Having been calmed somewhat by the administration of the whisky, the man then made a most peculiar statement claiming to have been kidnapped on a visit to Cardiff, forced to attend a peculiar welsh ritual known as "The Rugby" and deprived of adequate supplies of whisky. He was later bundled into the hold of an aircraft and as it approached Prestwick Airport was ejected from there by the captain with the words "See you Jimmy!" He is still extremely traumatised by the whole series of events and has been taken to the "Shanwick Home for Distressed ATCOs" for some peace and quiet. A note was later found in his sporran claiming to be from an obscure gang of welsh terrorists called the Viet Taff, stating that they were sending him back as they could no longer afford the whisky bills. It is thought that his life was saved by his kilt acting as a makeshift parachute.

8th Nov 2004, 09:49
Oh my goodness DX.
I was on duty when the said flight to Prestwick departed, the stand clearly visible from the Tower. I noted a gentlemen wearing 4 stripes ( 1,2,3,4) was loading a large package into the Forward hold of the ATR. I took it that the Skipper was indulging in good CRM by assisting the baggage handlers now of course I know it may well have been Dubs himself.
How simply awful

8th Nov 2004, 10:09
As to the location of Stella. According to Sid, landlord of the Bull in Ambridge, Stella is his aunt and lives somewhere in Boddington. Or she did - unfortunately she died suddenly recently.

Glad to be of assisstance.

DX Wombat
8th Nov 2004, 15:52
Flower, it really is appalling. I fear the term "Gentleman" is something of a misnomer if it was indeed Captain Bluelights whom you saw bundling poor Dubs into the hold. :sad: MadsDad thank you for that sad information. I don't think we should tell Dubs just yet as the shock may prove too much for him after all he has been through.:{ There has still been no word from either Air Wales or Prestwick Airport Management. Captain Bluelights was last seen taking off from Prestwick having announced to ATC that he was heading for Cork. The Gardai were alerted but he seems to have slipped through their clutches. It is believed he may try to return to Cardiff and all persons working at the airport are asked to keep an eye out for him. The Heddlu (Police) have stated that if he is spotted he should not be approached under ANY circumstances but anyone seeing him should ring 999 and report his exact location.
The Shanwick Home for Distressed ATCOs has said that the distressed gentleman delivered there in a small, white, padded van late on Sunday evening is making some progress. At his request they will not be issuing any further bulletins.

9th Nov 2004, 07:31
One, two, three, four... :}

DX Wombat
13th Nov 2004, 07:04
Captain Bluelights has apparently got himself a new job.
We have now received photographic evidence (two photos) (http://groups.msn.com/LatinFlyersAirportBar/oddments.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=1386) + (http://groups.msn.com/LatinFlyersAirportBar/oddments.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=1387) of Captain Bluelights' latest position.
Friends of Mr West say he is recovering remarkably well aided by the administration of copious amounts of his favourite beverages. It is not known when he will be fit to return to work, if ever.

The Flying Lip
13th Nov 2004, 17:06
Captain Bluelights - an inspiration; all together now.....


Bring back Rabbit!


13th Nov 2004, 17:18
Didn't you hear?
It's Wabbit season and they're huntin' wascally wabbits. :E

The Flying Lip
13th Nov 2004, 17:23
They seek him here....
They seek him there....
Those salties seek him everywhere!
Is he at AMMAN or EGFF?
The naughty naughty carrot breath.

13th Nov 2004, 19:03
There's a closed season for rabbits?


13th Nov 2004, 23:23
Ive just heard a rumour from viet taff HQ that Rabbit is alive and well on these forums as Speedbird_heavy...... he seems to know all about a certain western ATR 42 operator after all!!

Free the long eared one!

Viva La Carrotista!