View Full Version : Lessons learnt the hard way

4th Nov 2004, 10:24
Ever learned anything the hard way ? Reckon this one's gonna be tough to beat:

Do not send your girlfriend text messages at half past one in the morning when you've spent the evening drinking Lebanese beer.

I swear I'm gonna have that tattooed on the inside of my eyelids !

G :{

4th Nov 2004, 10:52
Never lend money to ANYONE! :mad:

tony draper
4th Nov 2004, 10:54
A very important one, never piss on a 25 KV transformer.

4th Nov 2004, 11:47
Do not crack a full carton of eggs on your spouses head just before a visit from the inlaws. :rolleyes:

itchy kitchin
4th Nov 2004, 11:58
Don't try and tie your shoelaces in a revolving door.

Standard Noise
4th Nov 2004, 12:23
Don't give your mother-in-law any of the following:
1- Your address.
2- Your phone number (home or mobile)
3- Your email address
4- An invitation to stay at your house.
And most important of all.....
5- Any indication whatsoever that you can under any circumstances, tolerate her! :E

4th Nov 2004, 13:10
Do not eat yellow snow.

Always be friends with the receptionist (They know whas goin on)

Don't work in road haulage.:{

4th Nov 2004, 13:19
Don't pick up a 'just fed' baby whilst wearing your best suit.

Don't posht when pished (especially in Chat - not that I would of course.... :bored: )

4th Nov 2004, 13:27
Never pee on a sparkplug when the mower is running! It is fun to watch though. Be prepared to run like hell if it was your idea.

4th Nov 2004, 13:41
Never go out with a vindictive CHEAPO! :mad:

4th Nov 2004, 15:38
Situations that begin with somebody saying "I bet you you can't" followed with a reply of "Bet you I can" always end in tears.

4th Nov 2004, 23:00
Never visit a strangers house and think it might be interesting to let their chinchilla out of its cage when they leave the room for a moment! :O

4th Nov 2004, 23:04
never put in a-mail what you wouldn't say to somebody's face:ok:

4th Nov 2004, 23:12
Never come back from the pub p*shed at 2 in the morning and phone an ex girlfriend.
And never phone another one when the first says b*gger off
And never tell them you really want to see them again (cause you left them for a reason that beer seems to hide)

And when overseas never, never, never come back well filled with amber liquid and text your girlfriend with your UK mobile and at the same time start another text conversation with another girl with a local mobile cause it is possible to get confused when drunk

5th Nov 2004, 00:34
Never take it upon yourself to address any audiences when on the b-side of beer. You can push yourself into a right ole corner and even risk inciting a riot! This includes wedding speeches......


tony draper
5th Nov 2004, 01:57
Also, never when fuddled with ale demonstrate the forbidden Mawashi Mi Tobi Geri on a concrete lamp post.

Standard Noise
5th Nov 2004, 02:17
And under no circumstances should you allow yourself to be present in the same room as your MIL while under the influence of Al-kee-hol. Drunken honesty may have the unpleasant side effect of shortening your life expectancy!:}