View Full Version : "No Mr Bond, I expect you to die"

3rd Nov 2004, 09:12
Pierce Brosnan believes there should be no more Bond movies following his last appearance as 007.
The 51-year-old has been dropped from the super spy role and Colin Farrell, Hugh Jackman, Jude Law and Colin Firth have all been rumoured to be the next incumbent

So, he's had his fun, earned loads of dosh, and made a big name for himself in the film history books, but he doesn't want anyone else to have a go.

In my opinion, he was only a pretend James Bond anyway. Sean Connery was always my favourite.
Who is everyone's choice for the best Bond, and favourite scene, and horniest Bond babe.


3rd Nov 2004, 09:19
Who knows whats going on in that actors' head of his but to come out with something like that?!

Who decides if something like this keeps going on is typically the fans ie: why drop it if its gold at the box office?

Typical for an actor.

tony draper
3rd Nov 2004, 09:21
Ian Fleming,wanted Jerremy Brett (he who plays Sherlock Holmes)to play Bond,as he thought Brett as much closer to the public school hero of the books.
I think there has been a boring sameness to the Bond movies since Connerys day, I have not watched a Bond movie at the cinema since Roger Moor's took the roll, caught a few on telly and I though Moores Bond was dire,only been one Bond in my book and thats Sean, a none public school Scotsman.

3rd Nov 2004, 09:22
Not the best (that was Connery) but definitely a lot better than Roger Moore.

But then again Dame Edna Everidge would make a better James Bond than Roger Moore.:*

Training Risky
3rd Nov 2004, 09:26
I heard a rumour that Dougray Scott (the Baddie in Mission Impossible 2) IS to be the next Bond.

I think Jack Davenport (This Life) is worthy of consideration: very suave, good accent - noticeable for the Mastercard adverts.

Best scene: The Spy who loved me - falling off a cliff to a sticky end..... what's this? a UNION FLAG parachute to a splendid Monty Norman orchestra James Bond-theme.

Best babe: that Denise Richards (The World is not Enough) is a contender.......:E :E (or maybe Judi Dench:sad: )

Best villain: The suberb Christopher Walken's Max Zorrin (A View to a Kill) - very creepy

tony draper
3rd Nov 2004, 10:03
Agree, Christopher Walken is undoubtedly the best baddie out there at the mo,and not just in Bond movies, comes across as a right evil bastige, ie "Things to do in Denver when your dead"
One has always had a preference for the chaps in the Black Hats alus much more interesting coves than hero's they is.

3rd Nov 2004, 10:28
a none public school Scotsman

Actually, Drapes , both Connery and Bond went to Fettes - albeit Connery supposedly went there to deliver the milk!

3rd Nov 2004, 10:42
So what about another well known Old Fettesian for 007, none other than El Presidente Bliar!

Tough on international terrorism, good at getting out of impossibly dangerous situations, and is even promoting more Casinos!! But probably too used to telling "M" what to do rather than vice versa.

Not sure about Cherie as a Bond Babe, but she'd certainly make a great "M"!

3rd Nov 2004, 11:09
Time for a new broom. Give it some edge, and take it back to the 1940's, Commander Bond fresh from the war, at Casino Royale. Let him drive a grey supercharged Bentley and lose ALL the gadgets.

Whoever wins the role gets strapped into the potty chair and belted in the nads, for real. Should eliminate poonces from the casting couch:E

3rd Nov 2004, 12:20
I believe that aul Brossy may have been misquoted (I know, I know, someone being misquoted in the media??? beggars belief). He was at the rather sad Irish Film & Television Awards (the 'IFTAS'!!) last weekend and spoke openly on his thoughts about who the next Bond should be.

Not a great fan of him as an actor, although I did like that one where he was a wealthy businessman who stole a painting - the delicious Rene Russo was in it with him, but I think he did a better job than most at Bond.

3rd Nov 2004, 12:25
Colin Firth is a fat version of Hugh Grant with a lack of expression. He's out.

Colin Farrel is an Irish Feral with no class. He's out.

Jude Law is too much of an effeminate ponce...... Out.

That leaves Hugh Jackman. Or maybe Eric Banana if the rumours are true. Time for another aussie to make up for that other shame.

Grace Jones for best babe. Denise Richards' only good scene was in the pool in Wild Orchids or whatever it was with Neve.

3rd Nov 2004, 12:42
Best Bond: Roger Moore (I was already sucking on nipples in Sean Connery's day so I would have chosen him, except that in those days I was having breakfast, while he was on dessert...).
Favourite scene: That's unfair, I'd have to watch them all over again :rolleyes: but one involving Sheriff J.W. Pepper in hot pursuit springs to mind.
Horniest Bond babe: I wouldn't have used the term horniest but the babe that I fancied most was Jane Seymour as Solitaire.
Next Bond: I propose Russell Crowe (Master and Commander, Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind etc.), anyone who has seen Proof Of Life must admit that he plays the quintessential selfless British adventurer (James Bond, privatised version) very well. Even if he is a Kiwi. ;)

BTW, you forgot to ask about...

Favourite line: Hugo Drax in Moonraker: "Look after Mr. Bond. See that some harm comes to him."
Most immortal line: In just about all the movies: "Shaken, not stirred."
Next Bond movie: The World's Tears, the movie is all about a plot by evil-doers in the military-oil-religious-industrial complex who manage to get their U.S. Presidential candidate elected. It is the very first Bond movie ever, where 007 fails in his mission and the President is reelected for another term...:{
But not to worry, Russell Crowe will be back in the sequel, The World's Fears, when he gives them all whatfor and saves the World...:O

3rd Nov 2004, 12:50
karrank - has obviously read the books -- as I did many moons ago.

If you've read the books, then Connery has to be the best Bond ever.

If you've seen the films then Connery has to be the best Bond ever.

End of story -- apart from to say that Pierce Brosnan's best (non Bond) scene was in 'The Long Good Friday'. He's the hitman in the car right at the end pointing the gun at Bob Hoskins after he's (Hoskins) been lifted outside the Savoy.....cue music!!!:O

3rd Nov 2004, 12:59
*Nerd mode on*

Of course, in the books, the Martinis were 'stirred, not shaken'. (After all shaking is the normal method of Martinin manufacture).

*Nerd mode off*

And as for the real Mr. Bond..

There was an article in the Grauniad a bit back by one of their financial reporters who went to interview someone senior in the World Bank (I think it was, something like that anyway), whose name happened to be James Bond. The reporter decided that this bloke would have heard it all before so decided to be ever so cool when they met and ignore the name.

He then said that as they sat down for the interview he was appalled to hear himself say:- "Ah, Mr. Bond. We meet at last".

Mr. Bond ignored the comment.

3rd Nov 2004, 13:04
Cmon - Pierce Brosnan wasnt that bad! anyone remember Remington Steele?

Me mum's been a bond+connery fan, and loved brosnan in steele.... imagine her reaction when he was chosen to play Bond :)

3rd Nov 2004, 13:32
no, no, no, MadsDad , you've got it all wrong! Martinis must be stirred, not shaken, to avoid bruising (so I'm told) :rolleyes: - so James' preference is Fleming's little joke, a hint of crassness about an otherwise terrifically cool character.

Would be sorry to see Pierce go - he's well tasty! And, aidanf , that film was The Thomas Crown Affair , remade - and one of my favourite films. :ok:

3rd Nov 2004, 14:47
Pierce Brosnan wasnt that bad! anyone remember Remington Steele?

Yes, and that's why Mr Brosnan was never going to be a fantastic bond. You sit there and think "Hey, that's the Remington Steele dude".

I reckon Eric Bana would make a great Bond.

Val d'Isere
3rd Nov 2004, 17:08
Never found Bond movies anything but dull.....except for the first class totty content.

Halle Berry was "it" the other night.............phew! :E

3rd Nov 2004, 17:17
Tag................and now your "it".

(I love that game!)

Self Loathing Freight
3rd Nov 2004, 18:20
I'm surprised this hasn't been posted from Goldfinger:

Bond Girl: "Hello, I'll be your pilot this after noon. I'm Pussy Galore."

JB: Looking her up and down says, "I'll bet you are."

Or this one from Moneypenny in Tomorrow Never Dies:

"You always were the cunning linguist, James"

3rd Nov 2004, 18:36
Jude Law would make a perfect bond!

3rd Nov 2004, 18:43
Unfortunately, my opinion of Mr Law has dropped since he agreed to be involved in another freakin' remake of a classic movie that starred Mr Caine.

3rd Nov 2004, 21:54
On Her Majesty's Secret Service - best babe (Diana Rigg, Joanna Lumley had a bit part too), best scenery, best soundtrack, best baddie (Telly Savalas). George Lazenby was not that bad...;)

Cheers - SLF

3rd Nov 2004, 22:19
Sorry SLF... hate to be pedantic, but the scene is actually:

I'm surprised this hasn't been posted from Goldfinger:

Bond Girl: "Hello, I'll be your pilot this after noon. I'm Pussy Galore."

JB: Still groggy after being knocked out says, "I must be dreaming."

3rd Nov 2004, 22:31
Best line came from the BOOK of Goldfinger, from Pussy of course:

'They told me you only liked women.'

She said, 'I never met a man before.'

The films were all [email protected], but I've watched them all, even the really [email protected] ones where Roger Moore was getting embarrassingly ancient. The [email protected] scene, where secret agent, aged 070, is in Grace's bed. It would have been more realistic if she had asked him to adopt her than give her one.

Sorry SLF, OHMSS was the [email protected] of all. Agree George did a good job though, the Broccolis stuffed that one. George was hard & cruel looking, Ian would have approved I'm sure. But the clumsy love story, pooncy soundtrack, [email protected] dialogue "Girls, it's Hilly!", Telly mumbling in New-Yorkian and sheer lack of anything particularly secret-agentish make it a distant 20th in a field of 20. Sadly, the only thing the vegetables learnt from the experience was to abandon anything except a faint resemblance to the books.

I'd have thought Eric Banana was too good looking, but after seeing Chopper I expect he could look however is required. Would be nice to see him infiltrate the especially evil Australian version of SPECTRE, (the Federal Liberal Party,) disguised as Poider.

3rd Nov 2004, 23:09
My favourite quote is from Diamonds are Forever and goes...

"Hi, I'm Plenty"
JB - "But of course you are"
"Plenty O'Toole"
JB - "Named after your father perhaps?"

Favourite bird has to be Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp in Goldeneye - Russian agent who kills by crushing her victims between her thighs!!! Oh, my GOD!!!:} := :8 :E

4th Nov 2004, 01:26
Airship is spot on. Mr Crowe is Bond material for sure! None of the rest need apply.

Atlas Shrugged
4th Nov 2004, 01:30
Just had a horrible thought..........what if Paul Hogan is the next JB?


Buster Hyman
4th Nov 2004, 02:03
George Lazenby was the best Bond. Much better than those other pooftahs!

As for a new bond, well, I'd hate to see Jackman or Bana in the role. I'd much rather see them doing a variety of things, rather than a string of Bond films. Although a musical version of Bond would be great with Jackman in it!:ok:

4th Nov 2004, 02:12
Come on Buster. Now you're just talking crazy talk. Lazenby was without a doubt the worst Bond ever.

Paul Hogan as a Bond!!??! Now that's funny.

Buster Hyman
4th Nov 2004, 02:24
Pam Shriver thought he was okay!!!:ooh:

4th Nov 2004, 06:11
Russell Crowe is far too sweaty to be James Bond! A condition which would rule out pretty much anyone hailing from the Antipodes.

Self Loathing Freight
4th Nov 2004, 15:09
Sorry SLF... hate to be pedantic, but the scene is actually:
Bond Girl: "Hello, I'll be your pilot this after noon. I'm Pussy Galore."
JB: Still groggy after being knocked out says, "I must be dreaming."

Thanks Richo77. I must learn not to trust the first Googled site I find. :ugh: I did find this tidbit about the original line. It may or not be true but it sounds like Bond: Already pushing the lines of decency with Pussy Galore's name, Bond's original introduction to her was:
Pussy: "I'm Pussy Galore."
Bond: "I know, but what's your name?"
However, the scene was later changed to bond's current response of "I must be dreaming!"

tony draper
4th Nov 2004, 15:47
Bond commanded a Destroyer during WW11, lets say he was as young as twenty at the time, hmmm, he must be pretty long in the tooth now, at least eighty
Alus though the best line wasn't by Bond,from Diamonds are forever,after gangster throws bint out of tenth story hotel window

Bond "good shot for the pool",

Gangster, "I didn't know there was a pool down there"


4th Nov 2004, 16:13
Proposals for the next James Bond so far:

3 out of 4 total have chosen Russell Crowe
OK, one of the 3 thinks he sweats too much... MAKEUP!!!

Please wire my 10% of Russell Crowe's agent's 10% as soon as contracts are signed...:O

PS Since when was a "character" obliged to retire because he was a little long of tooth? Don't see anyone clamouring for Drapes' retirement yet, even if the ole' fangs are beginning to show through quite often recently... :rolleyes: :E ;)

Nan nan a nan na, nan nan nan nan nan nan a nan na, nan nan nan nan nan nan a nan na, nan nan nan nan nan nan a nan na...
(PPS The theme tune can get a little monotonous after awhile...?!

4th Nov 2004, 16:14
Not Bond, But I did like the names given to the "babes" in the Austin Powers films.

Allotta Fagina (an obvious re-work of Pussy Galore)
Ivana Humpalott
Felicity Shagwell

4th Nov 2004, 17:04
Ditto [nerd mode=on]

As has already been pointed out, Bond's martinis in the books were "stirred, not shaken" since shaking is the normal method of making a martini and Cubby Broccoli got that all wrong. Furthermore, as anyone who has read the book knows, Bond was a misfit at Public School and ended up as a bit of a thug, generally. He was NOT smooth, suave and sophisticated. Roger Moore was therefore COMPETELY wrong as Bond.

There was only one celluloid Bond - Connery takes the title by several lengths.

4th Nov 2004, 17:10
While I agree with those who feel that Connery owns the role, I thought that Timothy Dalton did a fine job in "The Living Daylights" and that George Lazenby was also adequate in "On Her Majesty's Secret Service". For some reason, I never warmed to Moore in the role.

Buster Hyman
4th Nov 2004, 21:00
I think Moore made the charachter unbelievable. Constantly using a lampooning effect upon his adversaries undermined the complexities of their pshyche. This is tantamount to portraying the bad guys as buffoons & not giving them the credit for being able to inspire many underlings to their dastardly causes. I feel his portrayal also lacked a certain empathy for the women who fell into his arms due to his legendary charms....allright, I can't keep it up!:}

Moore was never better than when he was in "The Persuaders". I thought he & Tony Curtis did a sterling job.

Disguise Delimit
4th Nov 2004, 21:13
Tamed Bill thinks that no Antipodean could qualify as a Bond - sorry sport, but where do you reckon George Lazenby came from??

And he was by far the most tragic dunce to ever claim to be an actor, much less a Bond. Dismal movie.

Favourite line:
She'ff J. Dubya Pepper, in Thailand, saying "Ain't you pointy-heads ever seen an airplane before?? Get yer cotton-pickin' schnoz outa ma pants!" (but I didn't like The Saint playing Bond- too poofy)

4th Nov 2004, 22:13
only the second person to even mention him so far, im definitely going with dalton as best bond. i havent read the books, but he just seemed to play the role the way it was meant to be played. not too cocky or smarmy (arguably typical bond however) just the right amount of wit and one-liners and i think he played the character with more emotion and you really got a feel for his troubled past, especially in licence to kill.

my fav bond film is the living daylights.

fav baddie is defo walken as max zorin.

fav bond girl is probably famke janssen as xenia onatopp in goldeneye. so spunky, memorable scene: when shes killing all those poor folks in the servernaya facility and she pretty much orgasms as a result. wrong perhaps but somehow very arousing! ;)

fav quote is too damn hard!

tony draper
4th Nov 2004, 22:42
I think you chaps forget, Woody Allen once played James Bond.

4th Nov 2004, 23:02
IF you mean "Casino Royale", I think that [Sir] James Bond was played by David Niven

4th Nov 2004, 23:12
Gentlemen, in Casino Royale (from memory) BOTH Niven and Allen played Bond.

Not sure if this is the long term effects of lager but i seem to recall some moment of madness towards the end of the film where there were Bond Clones running around technically being portrayed by many and several.

Picky aint i?.

Best Bond Babe has to be Ursula Andress as Honey Childe, how does one go past that infamous bikini, and the subsequent shedding of same?

5th Nov 2004, 00:31
Woody Allen played "Jimmy Bond" AKA Dr. Noah, whose bacillus when released into the atmosphere would kill all men over five foot three and make all women beautiful... Hiccup!

Val d'Isere
5th Nov 2004, 05:52
Tis a shame Peter Sellars is gone -- he'd be superb. :}

I might actually pay attention to the "story" fo once, if he was in it!

PS -- And Herbert Lom as "Q". :}

5th Nov 2004, 06:44
Disguise Delimit,

George Lazenby (Aus') only lasted for one film - Too sweaty!!
I rest my case!

Pierce Brosnan is easily the best Bond - too gorgeous for his own good and he manages to show his sensitive side (with a gentle wrinkle of the forehead) when he is killing and maiming the baddies and any unfortunate street stall owner who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time - an honourable trait.

Sean Connery was far too hairy to look suave. There's nothing wrong with chest hair but he had great big tufts growing from his shoulders - too apelike.
(and he had a Scots accent).

tony draper
5th Nov 2004, 07:18
Perhaps Bond should more reflect the modern Britain, get Julian Clarey or Boy George to play Bond.

5th Nov 2004, 07:57
(and he had a Scots accent)

Your point, caller? :suspect:

5th Nov 2004, 09:50
You tell 'im Stockpicker....:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

I know this is sad.... but one of the first ever actors to play Bond was Bob Holness (yes, Ill have a P please Bob). Good old Bob played JB in a 1956 South African radio adaptation of Moonraker!!

:8 :8

5th Nov 2004, 10:47
I think Roger Moore was the worst of the Bonds.

But I did like the line where he's in bed with a Doris (sorry, can't remember the actual film). He's on the phone to M. Girl starts kissing his chest and then, still kissing, disappears down south.

Quoth Bond, "I'm very sorry sir, I have to go. Something has just come up...."

5th Nov 2004, 18:28
Moore is by a huge margin the crappest of the Bonds. Good lines, hard to pick (but 'that's a Smith and Wesson, Professor - and you've had your six' followed by two muffled thuds, is right up there); not so the worst of the worst. Moore is facing Stromberg in his underwater hideyhole and they're sitting at opposite ends of a long table. 'This is the end, Stromberg', lisps Moore. 'Yours too, Mr Bond. And sooner than you know'. The expression on Moore's face - what does he mean, do you suppose? - exposes the limits of his cardboard acting and his contempt for the role.

Connery #1 (but only in the first two - blimey he aged quickly), Brosnan a very close #2 (and even more dangerous, if t'were possible), Dalton honourable third, the rest nowhere. I did hear that Sam Neill was once in with a shout, which wouldn't have been bad.

5th Nov 2004, 20:36
EH8 ,

At least Bob Holness had a British accent.
Even the fleeting notion of James Bond with a South African accent is absolutely outrageous!!!

Ascend Charlie
5th Nov 2004, 22:02
Or worse, a Kiwi Bond!

"Morning, Muss Moneypinny. Uz Im un?"

"So, Muster Goldfunger, you expict me to talk?"


Buster Hyman
6th Nov 2004, 05:06
(Is it just me, or does it seem that some of the replies are out of order here?):confused:

The only thing I liked about Moonraker, was Q's line at the end... "I think he's attempting re-entry!"

18th Nov 2004, 10:55
Connery #1 (but only in the first two - blimey he aged quickly), Brosnan a very close #2 (and even more dangerous, if t'were possible), Dalton honourable third, the rest nowhere.
You sum up my opinion perfectly!

I did hear that Sam Neill was once in with a shout, which wouldn't have been bad.
No, it wouln't have been bad, it've been bloody awful!

18th Nov 2004, 22:37
From a friend in in the 'luvvie' trade...

Robbie Williams has said he would not be adverse to an approach to play the part.

His people are talking to their people blah blah

Bally Heck
19th Nov 2004, 00:49
Jusht came upon thish thread. And I thought shurely there musht be shum kind of mishtake. The anshers obvioush.

Though I heshitate to shugest it.


19th Nov 2004, 00:59
Clive Owen. If you've seen Croupier you'll know what I'm talking about.

Robbie Williams?? Only if ya made it as a silent movie.

Le Pen
19th Nov 2004, 02:33
Have to say that I think Timmy was the best. Bond is s'posed to be a stone killer and that really came through with him.

Also if memory and theme song are anything to go by Casino Royale had 7 James Bonds

"One of them went to a heavenly spot.
Six went to a place where its terribly hot!"

<<< Sad git mode exited>>>


19th Nov 2004, 07:11
Have to agree with gravanom... Clive Owen has to be in the running.

19th Nov 2004, 07:51
Clive Owen could be good!

Robbie? If Bond turns gay I suppose.

Le Pen
19th Nov 2004, 12:56

I always thought Brian Ferry would have made a good Bond.....

Bit over the hill now though. :( Mrs LP would like Clive Owen :ooh:

Did I mention the best bond girl ever.....

Jacqueline Bisset as Miss. Goodthighs