View Full Version : Bitter and twisted young man...

29th Oct 2004, 09:09
I have come to the conclusion that I am old way before my time. Being a spritely 20 yrs old I find myself grumping almost every day about the political situation here and in the Good Ol' USA, about H&S legislation, the state of the Forces compared to how it was even 4 yrs ago and even about these young whipper-snappers these days and their disrespect for society!
Are there any other similarly disgruntled JO's out there?

I'll get me pipe and slippers...

29th Oct 2004, 09:46
Yoo Hoo ... Mr. Draper ... your new apprentice has arrived.

;) :D :ok:

29th Oct 2004, 09:52
You are not old before your time.

Think about the excellent BBC series 'Grumpy Old Men'. It's true that all the talking heads they show are male, and none of them are under 30; but in fact it's all about their attitude, not their age. The series would have been better entitled 'Grumpy people with certain attitudes' but that wouldn't have been so catchy.

There are people of 15 and 16 who don't like discos because they're so sodding noisy; there are people of 20 who are irritated by mobile phone ring tones; there are people of 25 who find cinema trailers unwatchable for the blitz of half-second jump cuts that lasers their eyeballs. It's just that very few of them are famous and so would not be interviewed for the program.

29th Oct 2004, 09:57
So, there is hope, after all.:ok:

29th Oct 2004, 09:58
Nice one, Bluey:O

itchy kitchin
29th Oct 2004, 10:01
I wouldn't dream of calling myself a "Grumpy Old Man" -even though i loved the series and agree with the majority of what was said (i really rate Will Self). I see my self more as a "Slightly Miffed Thirtysomething Chap"

...which reminds me: Do any Pruners read that most excellent publication "The Chap"?

tony draper
29th Oct 2004, 10:19
This is a pleasing development but alas to late , once Draper is in command, the plan still remains to have everybody under the age of forty executed.

itchy kitchin
29th Oct 2004, 10:22
...like a kind of "Logans Run" in reverse?

Nigerian Expat Outlaw
29th Oct 2004, 10:40
Being disappointed/disillusioned about the decline of standards in society generally doesn't make you a grumpy old man..........

Some people are born grumpy, others just want some things to return to the way they were, like manners for example.

Can't remember the last time someone held a shop door for me to take, and every time I do it they just walk past as if I'm the bloody doorman:(

29th Oct 2004, 12:04
I'm with Drapes on this one. But may I suggest we make an exception on the blanket under 40 execution order for those females under 25 of a pleasant disposition...? :O It might make those of us who remain look a little better when we eventually meet our maker... ;)

BTW, I think Drapes should keep the durian...smelly old things they are but some say they taste very good...?!

Vox Populi
29th Oct 2004, 12:06
700,000 pensioners in Britain have no central heating. Statistically 18,000 will die of cold related illnesses this winter.

Today The Lancet has published a report that claims 100,000 civilians have died in Iraq since March last year, MOST of them women and children.

A child born just 900 miles away in Romania has a one in five chance of being forced to work in hard manual labour by the time it is 14.

I'm sorry your coffee has arrived ever so slightly too warm propwash.


PS: Just re read this post and realise how pompous it looks - it's meant to be a friendly sort of "count our blessings sort of thing' rather than the Dave Spart rant it looks like!! Nah orfince madam.

29th Oct 2004, 12:22
Not old before time, just getting sensible at last.

P.S. The Wife says its a durian, and it must be so cos she eats the revolting stuff. (I have to open it but because of the spikes) :uhoh: :ooh:

29th Oct 2004, 12:25
All relative. A colleague recently related a story from when he was deployed to a country near Iraq to enforce the 'no-fly zone'.

He and four others were living in rudimentary accommodation with a patch of dirt out the back. An English speaking local man came and asked if he might be employed to look after the garden (yard to our US friends).

They laughed but all the same employed him to sweep this patch of dirt and make it look tidy. Being mindful of not distorting the local economy they learned that $1 a day was the rate for the job. He duly looked after the ground and was paid that rate.

At the end of their tour the 5 chaps clubbed together and gave the concientous and cheerful gardener a gift of $40. He promptly burst into tears and they discovered that he had never in his life had so much money!

He was reluctant to take it but did after some persuasion. Bearing in mind this man had a wife and children it does rather put into perspective our gripes over really quite inconsequential issues.

I still hate Gordon Brown though.

simon brown
29th Oct 2004, 16:35
Its the annoying day to day annoyances that add up and twist that little key in our back even further. Having sat in a major traffic jam on the way to work, I have a bad day and need a beer or two to unwind so I decide to find the nearest cash point.

The cash machine accepts my pin number, it even asks me how much I want lulling me into that false sense of security, then it churns and rattles for a bit then nothing.....still nothing....I start pushing buttons randomly.....nothing...I then start banging the machine like a psychopath whilst a queue forms behind me. I give up and resign yourself to the fact that either A) it just happens or B) some lithuanian gang of illegal immigrants running a scam, now have my card number

Having my card eaten by the cash machine, I then phone the number on the cash till , but that number no longer exists, but the little darlings that run my bank havent been bothered to post the new one.

I am in an unfamiliar town so I look at my map to find a bank where I can draw some cash....I am then forced around a stupid one way system that is impossible to follow...I can see the bank so I have the idea of dumping my car somewhere and walking as it will only take 5 minutes....I then spy the vulture of a traffic warden looming so I decide to get back in the car and find a place to park.I find a car park and there are some empty spaces but they want £25 / 10 mins to park my car ...and guess what....I DONT HAVE ANY MONEY!....Back to square one .Brain wave! go to the supermarket with free parking , buy someything and get some cash back on my credit card Brilliant! get to the till "we cant give you cash on access cards luv" ..by which time that vein starts pulsating on my neck and my blood begins to boil, so I leave the packet of Crisps, 2 Mars bars behind.

F**k it I didnt want to go out tonight anyway. I switch my phone on and the boss wants to know why I didnt call as he called me 5 milliseconds ago and I've got to deal with a client who for some reason is incapable of pressing the F1 key and reading the on screen manuals of our software package.

I get in my car and switch on the Radio to find the Queen is apologising to the Germans,House prices are going down, Petrol is going up etc and all the other niceties we hear on the radio that make our day that little bit more unbearable.Whilst driving home I run the usual gauntlet of chavs, cops and speed cameras so I can now relax.................or so I thought...

Once home having waded through junk mail and bills I phone up a "call centre" to sort out and cancel my card, and get put in to the usual, "press one for this , 2 for that 3 for a nervous breakdown call queuing system and tell them my card has been swallowed, give them all your details 25 times because the foreigner on the other end of the line doesnt understand me but wants to engage in idle prescribed chit chat about the Man U game last night. To my relief the card is cancelled so the hypothetical Lithuanian gang involved in the scam have been foiled...a small victory for the little man!. I then have to wait 3 days for my new pin number.

I decide to "log on" and catch up on my e mails and all I seem to get is junk mail from people who are under the impression you should be driving a better car, having a better pension or my penis is too small.My machine then freezes up and crashes because some Chinese scum bag hacker has decided to make sure spyware is installed on my machine.
I update my spyware blocker but it cant delete the resident worm, so I spend the whole evening fiddling about with my computer registries deleting them by hand and running the gauntlet of that marvellous operating System called Windows.

I'm Victor Meldrew before my time.....

29th Oct 2004, 17:08
It was your Fergie that uttered a good line once: If you're feeling sorry for yourself, go help someone else.

As for me it was my trips to Chennai a few years ago that stifled my griping. Any day you're not begging for food for your naked children is a good day....

None of the above
29th Oct 2004, 17:20
As a grumpy fifty-you-don't-need-to-know-the-rest-year-old man, I am apoplectic, nay incandescent, with rage. I can hardly bring myself to repeat this news, but............. tomorrow's edition of 'The Times' will be the last in broadsheet format. Imagine having to handle a ........ gasp ........tabloid at one's brekkers.
Does the man Murdoch have no standards?

Yours faithfully,


Deepest Buckinghamshire.

29th Oct 2004, 17:30
Being marginally chronologically advanced from propwash866 I can certainly attest to the grumpyness of a young man. What I have discovered though is that as time goes on, these issues have bothered me less and less.

29th Oct 2004, 17:31
Actually I find the tabloid format easier to handle at brekkies, on the bus, train, aircraft, under the arm etc.

None of the above
29th Oct 2004, 20:16

You're quite right of course, the smaller newspaper is more convenient where space is at a premium. My main gripe is that, being used to the 'topography' of the broadsheet, nothing is where you are used to finding it. I suppose that I will get used to it eventually. My worry is that I will stumble across the bits that I normally manage to avoid.

N o t a

(Not really that grumpy. Honest!)

30th Oct 2004, 01:24
............. tomorrow's edition of 'The Times' will be the last in broadsheet format. Imagine having to handle a ........ gasp ........tabloid at one's brekkers.

Its journalism became tabloid almost from the day the present owner bought it.

Gave up reading it years ago anyway.

Lon More
30th Oct 2004, 01:34
The Times has been going downhill since they took the advertisements from the front page.

With the passing of John Peel there's one more to mourn

30th Oct 2004, 07:47
The tabloid Times is awful, they put the crossword on the inside of the back page.... :uhoh:

Miserable Old Git
30th Oct 2004, 09:01
I was born grumpy; Iíll die grumpy and donít expect me to be happy about it!

tony draper
30th Oct 2004, 09:15
Draper at presentation ceremony.
Camelot rep,

"Mr Draper it gives me great pleasure to present you with this cheque for 18 million pounds"


"****! look at the plight of this signature on the cheque ,tiz a illiterate scrawl,can't any of your bloody generation use a feckin pen"


Now thats deadicated grumpiness.


31st Oct 2004, 07:54
Good to know I'm not alone in my grumpy nature!

Thing that really pisses me off is the blameworthy culture in which we all live now and while I acknowledge that at the moment we're not all worried about clothing our kids, I fret about where sueing everyone for everything will lead us.

Take McDonalds - that trendy new salad selling restaurant. McDonalds is a fast food chain specialising in Big, Greasy HAMBURGERS! If you eat too many you'll get fat, it's that simple. So why do some less bright members of our society try to sue McD's (And succeed) for their obeisity???

"RAF Chinook Helicopter kills horserider." A highly regrettable accident, my deepest sympathies to the family; however, not an event that I would change the low flying system for, or consider fitting 'horse radars' to all riders.

Went to a bonfire last yr on 5 Nov... guess what? No Bonfire! H&S decided that it was too risky lest any embers burnt spectators.

War in Iraq, person shot, MOD launches public enquiry.

If this continues we will all wind up either living in a culture where you cannot take a bath for fear of being sued, or more concerning we'll become so dysfunctional both in terms of military effectiveness and common sense that another nation who pays less attention to litigation and the EU Human Rights Act will quite simply walk in unopposed, bar a few legal challenges of course. Or is that what's already happening, in the guise of international terrorism?

That was a killer rant, I feel much better now. :ok:

31st Oct 2004, 08:06
Take McDonalds - that trendy new salad selling restaurant. I read somewhere that the dressing, croutons, etc, in their salads actually contain as much fat as one of their burgers. Is that right, then?

Have you considered voluntary work with The Samaritans, propwash? :}