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Jerricho
28th Oct 2004, 22:42
Just turned on the TV to find this abortion of a movie on.

Surely got to be in the top ten of "Worst Movies Ever"

Parapunter
28th Oct 2004, 22:43
It blows, big time.

Jerricho
28th Oct 2004, 22:44
But we showed them alien types.

Makes me glad to be a human!!

Go EARTH!!!!

tony draper
28th Oct 2004, 22:53
The worst movie ever made without any shadow of doubt is Truely Madly Deeply, tiz touchy feely luvvie 24 carrat reeking cack of the first water, one was forced to sit through once, the threat of death by disembowelment, fire, torment,flayling, demise by a thousand cuts, drowning, being forced into a hyperbaric chamber compressed to 20, 000 atmosphers then decompressed in two seconds, electrocution or lethal injection could not persuade one to sit through it again .
:suspect:

timmcat
28th Oct 2004, 22:55
Oi - its great (IMHO).

Just got 'The Day After Tomorrow' on DVD too - by the same people (whatever that means). Crackin movie, we have all watched it three times now.

Astra driver
28th Oct 2004, 22:57
And now the producer of that movie is working on one about
WWI Aviators, I bet you can't wait.....

reynoldsno1
29th Oct 2004, 01:46
Please say it's not an adaptation of "Sagittarius Rising".....

BlueDiamond
29th Oct 2004, 01:49
Are you saying you did not enjoy it, Mr. Draper? Your post is a little unclear. ;) :D

Buster Hyman
29th Oct 2004, 03:31
I first saw ID4 on the 4th of July in HNL when it was first released. I must say, I felt proud to be an American that day...mainly because if I didn't "whoop" like the rest of the cinema, I think I might have been perceived to be a Commie!:uhoh:

BombayDuck
29th Oct 2004, 04:56
I agree, ID4 is crap yet i find it entertaining :) Something to do with Will Smith I guess, the man rules!

Feeton Terrafirma
29th Oct 2004, 06:50
i think you need to accept it for what it is.... very blunt Americanism. If you look past that trifle its not a bad mix of drama and comedy

chuks
29th Oct 2004, 07:11
As a nation we are just working our way through a few issues resulting from the death of John Wayne: the search for a new national identity in a kick-ass sort of way... something like that.

The Scots have their bagpipes, the Welsh their sheep, the English their cooking, the Germans their cuckoo clocks, the Swiss the holes in their cheese, but we seem to have outgrown that 'reins in the teeth, six-shooters in each hand' sort of John Wayne trip without having found anything to replace it.

So the idea of forging a new identity as a synthesis of a white computer geek who can hack into alien software and a black fighter jock who can fly a flying saucer should be viewed with compassionate respect and not simply jeered at as a bad movie. As Father Flanagan never said, 'There is no such thing as a bad movie.'

And, anyway, the worst movie ever was 'Plan 9 From Outer Space'. It is completely off the scale for badness.

Like This - Do That
29th Oct 2004, 09:16
For the first 5-10 minutes I hated it too .... then I realised it's supposed to be a bad B grade flick.

Enjoyed it much more once I'd figured that out!

BlueDiamond
29th Oct 2004, 09:31
Well I think "The Attack of the killer Tomatoes" would win the worst movie title hands down.

:ok:

Gainesy
29th Oct 2004, 09:37
As a clay pigeon shooter, I laughed all the way through it. I mean, how could you miss a clay that big?

Hilico
29th Oct 2004, 11:00
Drapes, at least Truly Madly Deeply features, you know, actors. Ghost on the other hand is an AFZ - actor-free zone. I mean, Patrick Swayze? Where did his career come from? I've never been able to see the merits of someone whose eyes are closer together than his nostrils.

And for another terrible film, Under Siege. I can't think of any excuse to watch it. But somehow, every time it's on, I do...

Stupendous Man
29th Oct 2004, 11:17
Speed 2.
Jason Patric.

The defense rests.

itchy kitchin
29th Oct 2004, 11:20
I saw a cracking Japanese film called "Battlezone" or was it "Battle Royale"??? can't remember. Anyhoo, it was about a class of unruly schoolkids that get shipped off to an island and told to kill each other. Last one standing gets to go home. They were each given random weapons -some good, some useless and left to get on with it. Proper entertainment. I think that Japanese cinema is well underated. When the west was producing cruddy B movies, the Japanese were making films like Seven Samaraii (which has been copied by hollywood in a number of formats) and Tetesuo (the forerunner to the animated classic Akira). Tetsuo is a particularly disturbing movie, but well worth getting hold of!

Why does the American film industry seem hell-bent on remaking movies at the moment? The only one i am remotely curious about is The Manchurian Candidate- the original, with Ol' Blue Eyes himself is one of the finest movies ever made.

Stupendous Man
29th Oct 2004, 11:22
Twas indeed Battle Royale. Well worth seeing. Don't bother with the sequel though.

The Castle is another great film rarely heard off. Austrailian (or maybe NZ - apologies if it is.) Brilliant, track it down.

tony draper
29th Oct 2004, 11:31
The movies I really cannot stand are the Stiff Upper Lip operas, late forties early fifties Brit war films, the war was apparently fought and won solely by upper class twits with public school accents, the only working class people allowed in the last war were cockneys, and their roll was to fetch pots of cocoa to the upper class twits manning the bridge, and to utter such phrases as
"Cor blimey stone the crows Jerries fair narked tonight Bill int ee just"
or
"Another cup of Cocoa Captain?"
whilst tugging the forelock of course.
:rolleyes:

itchy kitchin
29th Oct 2004, 12:05
Come on Drapes,
Reach for the Sky
Angels 1-5
Malta Story
First of the Few

...all are first class!

Buster Hyman
29th Oct 2004, 13:05
All-righty then! If you want thread killing films...here's two...

Executive decision & Passenger 57! http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0304/sprachlos/speechless-smiley-004.gif

Nuff said.

Gareth Blackstock
29th Oct 2004, 13:16
I always thought any film that makes the Americans look like "The hero's of the world" were totally appalling!! I mean we all know that the good Ol' U.SofA is the be all and end all of the world and the Americans epitomise human perfection in every way possible, but I mean films like Independance Day and The Day After Tomorrow are complete nonsence. That said I think one of the worst film I have ever seen is The Avengers with Sean Connery and Uma Thurman in it.

Gaz

Eagle18th
29th Oct 2004, 13:31
I think you can judge just how bad a film is by whether you could manage to watch it all the way through.
For me, those which immediately spring to mind are -
The Avengers - I'm with Gareth on this one, what a stinker :yuk:
My Best Friend's Wedding, and You've Got Mail - even as a captive long-haul passenger I couldn't bring myself to sit all the way through these two. :ooh:
The real howler has to be Pearl Harbor - 2 good looking all American boys take on the entire might of the Japanese fleet and...
...I assume they won - after an hour and a half of this drivel I switched it off and chose to iron some shirts instead. :ugh:

419
29th Oct 2004, 13:34
Chuks, as you brought up the point about cheese, would you happen to know why the Americans call one of their most popular ones, "Swiss cheese". It's about as Swiss as I am.

419

Jerricho
29th Oct 2004, 16:27
The Castle is another great film rarely heard off

NZ film? Tell him he's dreamin'. ;)

Proceed As Cleared
29th Oct 2004, 16:30
Independence Day

It somehow reminds me of Dubya's aircarft carrier stunt, just without the aliens...or was there one around...? :}

MikeJeff
29th Oct 2004, 17:00
That U-571 (or whatever the number was!) was the worst for me.. The Americans won the war by capturing an Enigma machine!! The fast moving credits at the end pointed out that the Brits, the French and even my f*cking Granny had captured an enigma machine before they got theirs!

As for Independence Day, was a bad movie. Wou've been a whole lot worse with out Will Smith though

Jerricho
29th Oct 2004, 17:09
Unfortunately I went to the opening night of it a couple of years ago. The big hype was about Harry C. Jnr making his big, BIG screen debut in a huge Hollywood film and all that associated crap.

Pitty he snuffed it in the first 10 mins.

Lance Murdoch
29th Oct 2004, 17:39
I have to say that I enjoyed watching 'Independence Day', right up until the point where Bill Pullman did his speech just before the final battle about 4th of July being for all mankind etc etc :yuk: after that I wanted the Martians to win:E

simon brown
29th Oct 2004, 18:01
Thought it incredibly amusing where they are all gathered for the attack and they get the pep talk.

"cayn anyone here flah a plane" .."uuu ..i cayn 25 hours on a Raven Weightshif' Maacrolight"

"Rahyt c'mon over here son n' ill show 'y the weapons system of the F18 you'll be flaayn"

Priceless.....

:}

MadsDad
29th Oct 2004, 20:15
Saw it for the first time on the box. By a co-incidence MadsLad was home visiting and we got the muttered commentary from the sofa (aside from a muffled hoot of derision at the "I'll show you the weapons system" mentioned above:-

Scene:- Massed might of USAF bearing down on alien ship. Muttered:- "Great tactical flying that. 1 missile, could get 8"

Scene:- US President pulls up mask, talks into it then dops it again. Muttered:- "Really useful, not wearing your mask if the canopy pops".

Scene:- Entry into battle, "Let's plough the road!!!". Muttered "Great use of ammo"

Scene:- RAF in desert. Muttered:- "Wish I could get posted to the squadron thats got them".

Loki
29th Oct 2004, 20:42
I thought the troop rousing scene from Independence Day was a complete rip off from Henry V (for any colonials reading this, that is not a sequel)

tony draper
29th Oct 2004, 20:46
Thats insulting Mr Loki, even the colonials know that sequel is called Henry VI.
:rolleyes:

Notso Fantastic
29th Oct 2004, 22:19
Gotta say Pride & Prejudice or was it Emma or Persuasion. Forget what. You sit there patiently doing the culture thing, waiting for something to happen........and waiting.....then getting bored. In the end I was thinking Jeez- if only a stark naked Arnold Schwartzennegger would drop out of the sky and steal his clothes from a biker and start shooting people with tremendous guns I could watch, but this is torture!

Jerricho
29th Oct 2004, 22:24
drop out of the sky and steal his clothes from a biker and start shooting people

That's a great idea. I don't think it's been done yet.

Fg Off Max Stout
29th Oct 2004, 23:09
Police Academy 7: Mission To Moscow. A cinematic landmark.

MadsDad
30th Oct 2004, 00:02
And then there was the film 'The Madness of King George II'.

Sequel to 'The Madness of King George'. :\

tony draper
30th Oct 2004, 00:15
Ah! but that was a great movie MD the kind if movie that shows up the yawning gap betwixt real actors and Movie stars.
:rolleyes:

maxalt
30th Oct 2004, 03:26
I think you're all being too hard on Independance Day.

I think it stands as a subtle allegory of Americas current geopolitical position.

Take for instance the bit where the captured alien takes over the lab and starts communicating with the US president.

The pres asks 'What do you want from us'?

To which the alien replies...'I want you to diiieeee...dieeee...dieee'

Now if that doesn't remind you of Osama Bin Laden and Al qaeda...what does!!

Oh and by the way...Lost in Translation sucked - big time.

BombayDuck
30th Oct 2004, 06:58
Steven Segal. almost any movie. But I *still* watch Under Siege II each time!

For a particularly bad Segal movie, watch "The Foreigner". If you get it, let me know.

Or dont.

Anger Management was bad. I know Adam sandler movies hsouldnt even be called movies, but one wouldve thought jack nichoson would make things better... "is it just I or is this movie not funny?" I says to chap next to me... he gives me the roll-eyes and says "Its just us"

Most of the Batman movies sucked, bar the one with Jim Carey and Tommy Lee Jones.

Ah yes, and then there was daredevil.... ow... :ouch:

will think up more. there surely ARE more...

Feeton Terrafirma
30th Oct 2004, 07:23
The Castle is another great film rarely heard off


I just love the serenity

DirtyPierre
30th Oct 2004, 08:14
Working dog films made "The Castle", along with another beauty, "The Dish". Gosh we Aussies know how to make a good film, some of the time.

But some of my favourite films have been made by the Brits, eg;

The Italian Job (the first one with Michael Caine, Benny Hill)
Waking Ned Divine (an Irish film made on the Isle of Man I think)
Lock, Stock and two smoking barrels
Snatch
Get Carter

to name a few.

Buster Hyman
30th Oct 2004, 09:46
"Tell em they're dreamin!":ok:

Stupendous Man
30th Oct 2004, 11:42
Does anyone know where I can get a R2 copy of The Castle.
Only seem to be R1 copies on the old interweb.
I'm stuck with a R2 only DVD player at the moment.

It'll go straight to the trophy room if I can find it.

tony draper
30th Oct 2004, 11:46
One likes Steven Segal, looks a bit more realistic seeing a big chap beating the cacky out of various punters than some skinny Chinaman, because alas in the real world that how it is.

chuks
30th Oct 2004, 15:12
Steven Segal has a rather strange speaking voice, wouldn't you say? It is pitched a bit high for such a big guy, as if God skimped a bit on the larynx there. And, whatever the role, he seems to have this weird little ponytail following him around, clinging to the back of his cranium.

All in all, between the voice and the hair, I find not enough attention is left over for what passes for acting in the tiny pauses between the action. And to see him in a clinch with some fit-looking screen beauty; she always looks like Lili Marlene leant up against as street lamp. There is not a lot going on there when it comes to portraying smouldering masculinity.

Well, Chuck Norris is as bad or worse. What is it with these martial arts types? All the energy gets burnt up in the dojo, none is left over for after-hours action?

Compared to these two Patrick Swayze comes across as a second Brando. Brando as 'Johnny' or 'Stanley Kowalski' I mean, not as 'Colonel Kurtz'

tony draper
30th Oct 2004, 15:39
What about that boxer of ours,can't think of his name, you know the one, dresses up like a squire and has a voice like Nell Gwynn, good scuffler though, if he hadn't been so soft hearted, and Beckham gets the piss taken for having a bit of a girly voice, come to think, Becks would prolly still have the piss taken if he had a voice like Gregory Peck.
:rolleyes:

Jerricho
30th Oct 2004, 16:05
If you're a bloke and wear a sarong/dress thingy, you deserve everything you get.

chuks
30th Oct 2004, 17:42
What did Mr Beckham do to deserve Posh Spice? Or was that something wicked from a previous life that he is now working off?

You must mean Nigel Benn, by the way. Our very own Mike Tyson also has a rather peepy voice. It might have something to do with taking a few blows to the larynx. If I ever meet him I must be sure to tell him how amusing we find that squeaky voice on such a big, burly dude. My next-of-kin can use the money.