"THE" Callsign Spankers

[Cornholio]

Overheard in LHR on the 23rd:

Read back for a push and start approval/clearance was:

"Face South, thankyou, push approved."

It sounded really slack inserting "Thankyou" instead of callsign, and the controller sounded peeved but let it go. And they say the poms are slack on the radio although this guy did have a district English-style accent but it was hard to place.... probably because he'd made it up himself. I think he picked it up off the radio because it faded as he made his way east.

Anyway back to the whinge, this shabby R/T procedure continued with "Thank you" instead of "Callsign" every time. GND fella finally had enough and demanded a proper readback.

So instead of just observing correct radio-telephony SOPs, this git suddenly became "THE" Qantas XXX in every transmission. "THE" Qantas XXX...Talk about cultural and professional cringe.

Whoever it was, he'd already sounded clueless with NO callsign but to then become "THE" Qantas XXX he really sounded like a complete and utter spanker.

Now tell me, anyone in Kwantarse, is it a QF thing??? Are they likely to realise what complete grippers they sounded like??? Would they care?

Serious Question: Is this what they teach or is it the result of years of self-delusion emerging unchecked in the LH seat??? The sad thing was it was obviously the FO making the initial calls on GND.

I thought Qantarse had high standards. I thought they did everything PERFECTLY according to the book. Now I'm not so sure they're all that "pro". This was the sort of performance you normally hear the shabby Euro LCCs giving.

[Jerricho]

Got thrashed out here (http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=132993&highlight=british+airways+AND+britannia), (as well as some other venting) some time ago.

[Capn Bloggs]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v151/webpixx/prune/Give-A-****meter.gif

[18-Wheeler]

Now tell me, anyone in Kwantarse, is it a QF thing??? Are they likely to realise what complete grippers they sounded like??? Would they care?

No, there are unfortunately plenty of other people around the world that for soem bizarre reason feel the need to mangle their radio transmissions in the way way.
Highly spankable indeed.

[Ibex]

Ah yes...

From: I need TP for my bunghole... | Registered: Oct 2004

More drivel.

Good work son. A fine whinge it is too.

A bite? Maybe one or two...

Really though, I've seen better.

Better you crack that remote and get some free porn instead of wasting your time here.

Fool.

[Jerricho]

That GAF-o-mater is brilliant! Nice one Capn. :ok:

[Kaptin M]

Unprofessional r/t procedures

"GAF-o-mater " - is that like the Mother of all GAFs, Jerricho?

And if you look at the thing closely, it's fluctuating on the MAX side of giving one, indicating that Bloggsie is a bit stressed out by this stuff.

Back to topic...r/t procedures have become pretty unprofessional and non-standard with some operators trying to sound "cool", in recent times.
The Yanks lead the way in many areas....
"Checkin' in at three five ohhhh", or
"Out of 4 point three for one five ohhhh"

"THE Speed Bird" :rolleyes:

[Jerricho]

*Scratches head*

I was sure I typed "meter"

Damn metric.

[podski]

I actually find "THE" Virgin the worst offender, but I don't get around much.

[Jerricho]

"THE" Virgin the worst offender, but I don't get around much

Neither does she (or he)! ;)

[scud_runner]

Gee if you think QF are bad in controlled airspace you should hear them going into Class G and MBZ's!! Fair dinkum you'd think it was some bloke on his first solo!! QF are consistantly bad in this department.

Some of the worst radio work I have ever heard would have been a QF 737 going into Ayers Rock a while ago on a busy day and this clown in the 737 blocked both the Area and MBZ with an abortion of a radio call.

Something to the tune of.............

"Umm errr all stations in the Ayers Rock Area VXJ an RPT (he fair dinkum said that) Boeing 737 Jet inbound on the umm errr 155 Radial err um Bearing to no the bearing from the umm err Ayers Rock NDB ummm errr ............................... (5 sec pause) we are now 75 no 45 DME tracking for a right downwind....um errr..... runway 31 um err no runway 13." Then went over the MBZ and proceeded to block that frequency as well. Guys then attempted to call for seperation by he wouldn't answer!!

Have heard similar debacles in Broome.

[Mr.Buzzy]

Give ém a break Scud, It's easy for you to be the master of your domain when you're doing the same thing every day but these guys have to maintain familiarity with lots of places and lots of airspace. Im sure if you asked most 737 crews in Australia, going into Class G is something they dont get to do very often.

[Icarus2001]

Mr Buzzy sorry that doesn't really rate as an excuse does it!
How many engine fires do they deal with each month but we still expect them to be able to handle one when it happens!

That is what simulators and ground school is for! As for saying that the RPT guys have a hard time flying in to all sorts of different airspace, sheesh, give me a break. Your typical hard working GA charter pilot regularly flys in C, G, D and GAAP airspace. How on earth do they manage.

Has anyone noticed the trend of some plonkers to change the tense of their call eg "Bugsmasher Delta Oscar Golf joins downwind runway 27..." or " Deathtrap Papah India Golf enters and backtracks runway three zero..."

[Sunfish]

Flying in to YMEN this morning I discovered that "G'day" is now an ICAO standard voice procedure keyword.:ok:

[Capt Claret]

Sunfish,

If we didn't say "G'day" to the controller, s/he wouldn't know that s/he was talking to 'nother Ossie! :}

[ginjockey]

Flyingins.................. you don't know my wife do you?

[Cornholio]

yyyyup...

Anyway the 737 jocks in Aust tend to have their act together. It's the guys who go abroad I'm worried about. The further they go the worse their habits get.

Ibex was that you in LHR working your RT hand? Sorry to offend but if it wasn't shameful you wouldn't be so worked up. Not my fault this guy thinks he's in BA with the lords.

So the "THE" compulsion comes from BA, hey? Why doesn't that surprise me. Maybe they should base -400 pilots in LHR along with the hosties as this will allow them to fully insert the plum in mouths and cultivate their pommy roots.

You could almost see the SOs' eyes rolling back in their skulls as they listened to that ****. After years of expoure, though, they will become one themselves and the cycle will continue.

[Mr.Buzzy]

How many engine fires do they deal with each month but we still expect them to be able to handle one when it happens!

Thats right we do expect them to deal with one, of course nobody would be so arrogant to suggest that it would be a fine display of Russian Ballet now would they?

Your typical hard working GA charter pilot regularly flys in C, G, D and GAAP airspace. How on earth do they manage.

Some not very well I must say, Ive heard plenty making cocks of themselves on Sydney SMC.

Anyways this is yet another something/nothing discussion.

BBBBBbbzbzbzbzbbzbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Sunfish]

Flyingins mate, ROFLAOM! What am I to say? Do I say g'day mate"? or what? Not that I mind of course.

I'm worried that you say I should shut up. If I am stupefyingly wrong, then I will shut up. Please tell me when this occurs (which is pretty regular). Otherwise please tell me when I am right but stilll should shut up.

Personally, absent the weather on Wednesday, I would have thought a cheery "g'day" is OK at least honoring the role ATC play in keeping us from sharing alumininium.

Anyway, God bless ATC. What an unforgiving job.

[scud_runner]

Mr Buzzy

The fact that they don't fly in class G often doesn't rate as an excuse. I don't fly into big city airports often but when I do I make sure that I do my homework and am prepared. SO far I haven't managed to make a fool of myself.

My point is that QF radio work is consistantly bad in Class G ops which is where I do alot of my flying. The funny thing is that it isn't too hard to get it right. All you need is a distance; bearing altitude; ETA and intentions. It takes about 10 secs. Write it down if you have to ( i used to!) but when guys are fanging around at high speed I don't think that you can afford to bugger up the RT's as that is what we are relying on for seperation.

[Jerricho]

There's a couple of Aussie pilots round these parts who always come out with a big "G'day". The locals groan with "Aw, it's another one of yours. Come and talk to him, we can't understand Australian" :ok:

[Delta Whiskey]

Nothing wrong with a small pleasantry here and there, be it g'day, so long, cheerio or whatever - it reminds us there are humans behind the mikes, and not machines.

Main thing is to engage brain before opening mouth, and to listen before blasting off on a frequency you've just changed to.

Incidently why has QFA apparently adopted the practice of saying (for example) "QANTAS seventysix twenty four" instead of "QANTAS seven six two four"?

[Jerricho]

Perhpas it's a spill over from the North American way?

[Hempy]

Edit.... gazumped, but to extend the previous post

4.16.2 For three digit numbers, the second and third numbers are grouped. Examples are as follows:

Sunstate 122 SUNSTATE ONE TWENTY TWO
Eastern 1220 EASTERN TWELVE TWENTY .........
(Qantas 7624 QANTAS SEVENTY SIX TWENTY FOUR :E )

4.16.4 A pilot not using "group form" in establishing communication, but subsequently addressed by ATS in this format, should adopt the use of "group form" for the remainder of the flight in Australian airspace"

[Howard Hughes]

Icarus,

Has anyone noticed the trend of some plonkers to change the tense of their call eg "Bugsmasher Delta Oscar Golf joins downwind runway 27..." or " Deathtrap Papah India Golf enters and backtracks runway three zero..."

You have got it in one, now I was never very good at english when I was in school, but of all the pedantic things in aviation, this is my pet hate too!! What's even more frightening is these guy's think that they are using the correct phraseology.

I think the answer is easy, speak proper English, use AIP phraseology and being from a civilised society, I think it's perfectly acceptable to say "gidday" or "good bye" provided your not clogging up the frequency. Just use some of that judgement, that we pilot's are allegedly famous for.

Cheers, HH.

:ok:

[Screw Jac]

Try reporting "fully established"
"fully ready" as opposed to established on the
localiser, or ready.....

Nigel loves it at LHR:E

[tinpis]

Once made the horrible mistake going in to Beauvais , France addressing approach with a cheery aussie accented "Bon jour"
Recieved a machine-gun burst of instructions in froggy which another crew member thankfully understood being an edjamacated pom.
Never did it again.

[Screw Jac]

Try reporting "fully established"
"fully ready" as opposed to established on the
localiser, or ready.....

Nigel loves it at LHR:E

[Mr.Buzzy]

Get lives guys!
They get the message out there, OK so its not as slick as u people who are doing it everyday. Who cares? It's still safe and gets the job done effectively.

[Cornholio]

Flight Number Call-signs - Using Group Form Not sure about this change a few years ago but the change to procedure of making a readback with the callsign at the end (if you bother to add it at all....) was made at the behest of ..... you guessed it....... Qantas.

Some tosser of a capt even wrote a letter in the safety digest exhorting us all to try it out as it was SO MUCH BETTER than the accepted and CORRECT method at the time of callsign at start of transmission. Qantas had been doing it with callsign at the end -the incorrect way- for years and the bad habit began to spread.

A bit like leaving your taxi lights on at Sydney whilst at the holding point...... beaming into the eyes of the domestic across the other side of the runway.

So what Qantas wants, we all get. Strange that they cared so much about when to say the callsign since they so often don't bother to include it in their own transmissions.

[Mr.Buzzy]

Cornhole,
I may be incorrect on this one but my understanding of that particular change was to further bring our comm. standards into line with those of ICAO.

BBBBzzzzzZzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzbhbbbzzzzzz

[The Enema Bandit]

Gheez there's some wanka's on this site. How many of you blokes criticising on this thread have missed out with a job with the rat? And no I don't work for them. Go get a life you lot.

[blueloo]

Can I spank my callsign too?

(How do i spank it anyway)



:} :}

[Hudson]

Sunfish. Not only EN but just about the world over. Best (worst) I had was when flying with German charter operator the F/O replied to a take off clearance with "XYZ Cleared for take off - "bye bye" When asked why he said bye bye, he looked at me with a pitying look (as only local F/O's can do to a foreign contract captain) and said that it was good manners to say goodbye to the tower controller because he would not have time to say bye bye after take off because he had to call departures and say Good morning Sir, this is etc etc.

Unfortunately, the gidday's, cheers, byeeeees, are commonly accepted terminology which have gradually eroded the clipped coldly professional style of radio procedures in Australia characteristic of 20 years ago when superfluous gay chatter was looked upon as amateur ham radio procedure. Which of course, it still is.

[Howard Hughes]

Bluloo,

(How do i spank it anyway)

That's easy you just add "the"!

Like this "The bluloo 482"


Hudson,

Unfortunately, the gidday's, cheers, byeeeees, are commonly accepted terminology which have gradually eroded the clipped coldly professional style of radio procedures in Australia characteristic of 20 years ago when superfluous gay chatter was looked upon as amateur ham radio procedure. Which of course, it still is.

Looked upon by who?
It is still possible to be Professional, cold, clipped and polite!!

Cheers, HH.

:ok:

PS: I have been flying for more than 20 years too...

[piniped]

Geeeezzz you mob!

Surely there are bigger better things out there to worry about then sounding "cool, crisp, calm, and coldly professional"?

A bit of personalisation of the r/t hurts no one, all this usually gets thrown out as soon as it gets busier anyway, as you don't have the time for greetings etc.

Until it does...who cares?

PS I remember working Sydeny many moons ago (I have been on the other end of the radio for more than 20 years too) When Qantas put in a 225 for some poor unfortunate wishing a Happy New Year on the Volmet! If that is what you all want to go back to, just remember, he who is without sin, cast the first stone.

I like it in the ME...say what you like, just get the message across, as loads of pilots (and ATCOs) English is not that great, it is of more importance than sounding crisp and cold.

over and out.:E

[The Enema Bandit]

Well said piniped. There's some tossers out there.

[woftam]

As aviators in Oz (and indeed worldwide),I think we have bigger things to worry about than who says what on the radio for God's sake!
We are all being divided and conquered by the day and the posts here on PPRUNE lately sure do reflect that.
Instead of sniping at each other we better pull together REAL soon or we will all be talking about "how the hell did we piss away the best job in the world" in the not too distant future!
Don't believe that will happen?
Then just keep carrying on about crap.
It has been said many times before but I believe it is more important NOW than ever before.
We MUST get together no matter WHAT colour your A/C is NOW.
I don't know how that can happen or under what umbrella,but if we don't WE ARE SCREWED!!!!!!
There are a lot of very smart people amongst us so let's make it happen.
And let's not sweat over the small stuff for a while until we all get our communal house in order.
Because we all surely know it is very untidy at the moment and we are like sitting ducks.
Management (all companys) read these forums and must be rolling on the floor laughing at us all shooting at each other.
Dreaming?
Hope not. For ALL our sakes.


:confused:

[bonvol]

It's too late mate.

The games over but the realisation has yet to fully set in.

In QF we just keep bending over ('cause we are too scared not to) and with an apathetic bunch of factionally split frogs as the rank and file it can only get easier for the company to continue to do us slowly, or quickly, their choice.

Once they finish cleaning up the flight attendants I'm sure the company will start to spin our barrel a bit quicker.

Look at our record and what we did.

Jetconnect.... nothing
Jetstar/LCC.. Had SGM, chanted mantras, got MOU = Nothing
B Scale 737...Bit of action here. Voted it in!
Accom............Action here too. Accepted offsets for what we should get anyway
Vertical Promotion..Nothing
767...............Let the debacle go on waaay too long.
A330.............Split down party lines. Good chance to get done over by scabs.
DPA.......... What can you say?

Now I believe the latest one is to limit our increases to less than other staff.

But there is more. I just can't be bothered typing anymore. To even start to fix this mess will take a fair bit of backbone and some industrial action. Never going to happen.

[OZBUSDRIVER]

For a lowly PPL, I can tell you THE biggest thrill you can get out of interacting with ATC is when ground calls acknowledging contact with "Is that you Mark?" C172 be damned , I couldn't have been more chuffed even showing up in the space shuttle:D

I always thought Aus pilots were held in high regard because they could be professional without being a primadonna

[Carnegie Wah]

I'm with Old Bloggs, on the Give-a-*#&$-O-meter but he beat me to it. Somtimes I say to my homies in da tall skinny building, "Yo whats up my Niggers", what do you reckon about that fella? Somtimes I even use non standard phrases.

[Cornholio]

Well what do I expect from a sheep shag-carpet muncher.... not much. Ewes can't even spell "radio-telephony" over there let alone adhere to the basic principles thereof.

Maybe you work for Air NoozeeLand.

Yo... :rolleyes:

[The Enema Bandit]

I see they're making an Australian sequel to the movie "Silence of the Lambs". It's going to be called "Shuddup youse".

[Uncommon Sense]

I seem to remember this so it may be true:

"Good Morning (Somewhere in North Queensland) Approach, this is 'The' Britannia 7565 on Descent 7000 blah blah"

"Gday The Britannia 7565, this is 'The' Approach controller, descend 3700 ..."

The word 'The' failed to reappear in subsequent excahnges...

[Skypatrol]

Build a bridge and get over it!! G'days, good evenings, bonjours, kombanwa (good evening in japanese) are said all over the world by all pilots from all airlines and all ATC's. Yes, when it's busy you keep it to a minimum, but when it isn't, it doesn't hurt to be polite!

As for 'THE' the odd wally does it, but don't hear it too often. Great story from a while back....

'The' Virgin 123 was flying BNE/MEL followed by EAQ (762). 'The' Virgin that, 'The' Virgin this, on every radio call so on a very crowded ML APP after the QF skipper finally got sick of hearing it ...

"EAQ when established contact ML TWR on 120.5, g'day!!"

"120.5 when established, "THE" EAQ."

Even the controller was heard laughing!

[virgindriver]

I remember living on Horn Island and hearing Sunstate's arrival call to the MBZ each time- "Sunstate 488, THE DASH, 20 miles......"

[Cornholio]

spankers..... all of them

[Capt Claret]

Had to laugh yesterday, hearing The Speedbird 10 call Brisbane Centre with a position report at DOTAP (I think).

BA10 (with plumb in mouth): Brisbane Center THE Speedbird 10.

BNE CNTR: Speedbird 10 go ahead.

[Carnegie Wah]

Well Mr Hole, didn't mean to offend you there poor fella, I'm actually a roo chasing, doo playing fair dinkum cobber like your self but tempo in Auckland. Nothing wrong with a bit of carpet munching, I don't know what it is you like to munch on over there. Nothing personal my man just can't get over how much some people like to cry over such trivial little things such as Radio Phrasology. A chill pill maybe in order, did mum laugh at your nob when you were small.

[Wiley]

IMHO, it would have to be just about THE most annoying thing you hear on the line. Pretentious Pommy (or pseudo Pommie)... (insert whatever word you want).

I've used the "XXX, call THE Frankfurt on 118.5." myself on the odd occasion when sharing the frequency with a "thee-er", but it doesn't seem to get through to them what absolute tossers they sound to the rest of the world.

[Ibex]

Still THE spankers spank away.

Spank, spank, spank....

Spank ada spank ada spank ada

Spanking away one finger at a time, spanking those keyboards.

Spank away chaps!

Spankers. :rolleyes:

[Borneo Wild Man]

Corn Hole,somebody has to put you straight my son,
A)Australia has more sheep than New Zealand
B)Australia has the largest sheep population in the world
C)Australia has a higher ratio of sheep to humans than NZ.
(Why do you think so many Kiwis flock over there?)

"THE[/SIZE]" BWM

and oh yeah my favourite

"estimate ..........Insh Allah"

[Sunfish]

But New Zealanders are catching up with Australia's sheep population because they ahve found new uses for these animals:- meat and wool.

[Carnegie Wah]

Orrrrr Sh#t I just about cracked a rib laughing Sunfish my boy, where on earth did you hear that one!
With ya Ibex
Spankety spank Spankers.

[Roger Standby]

Back to the topic, I hear THE Speedbird regularly and THE Virgin every now and again and the eyes just roll. I'll have to try the previously posted responses for a laugh.

I believe that although we are all performing our jobs in a professional manner, a bit of recognition that a person is at the other end doesn't go astray, workload permitting. If it's quiet, what's the problem? I'll regularly thank a pilot if he's made my job easier or apologize if they've been stuffed around (usually by maestro, but sometimes by me). I know it's not required, but if I go out of my way to facilitate a pilot request, acknowledgement is appreciated... its just like a wave when someone lets you into traffic whilst driving.

As far as the "G'day" thing, I use it almost always and you can usually tell those few who don't like it by their refusal to say it and the tone of voice. I say "contact xxx on xxx.xx, g'day" and the response is "xxx.xx, ABC, g'day" or no G'day as you please, but if I don't say it and it gets said to me, I either have to make another transmission or sound like a rude git. I prefer the friendlier approach.

Cheers,

R-S.

[dwarfhunter]

Spank-you very crutch.

[MkVIII]

I am not sure what a lot of the fuss is about re manners. Sure, wanking on the radio is just that - wanking - but manners are common place.

I STILL say Good morning, aGood Afternoon, or Good evening on first contact with ground or tower. I still say "Gidday" to the tower or FS when given the handover to another frequency or FIR. "Changing to 126.7, XYZ, gidday". What is so unprofessional about that?

I do it regardless of where in the world I am.

[Ibex]

OK little boys, I think the only people who splutter in their coffees and get all flustered and red in the face when they hear superior aircraft commanders using advanced radio phraseology such as 'The' before the callsign, are those little boys who then realise to their absolute shock that there are other commanders out there who may have bigger egos than themselves.

:yuk:

[MTOW]

Shouldn’t that last post have been from “The Ibex”?

Seriously, it would have to be just about THE most pretentious affectation around… Utter wankers, the lot of them.

[one ball]

Good one, The Enema Bandit.

The Ibex, you sound like one of the afore-mentioned spankers who's trying to make the toss-iferous practice of calling yourself "THE Qantas", "THE Birdseed", "THE Ibex", "The Whatever" sound like good R/T and something to hope young SPLs will aspire to so they can one day be like you. :rolleyes:

It is pretentious and labels one a right tosser. If it weren't so, we'd hear people admitting to doing it, other than in The Ibex's roundabout way.

"Aircraft commander"... HAHAHAHAAAHAAAAA...!!! Another tosserism. Anyone whose ego (and something else) does NOT need constant stroking would not need a label like that, to remind himself of what he is.

[Ibex]

I certainly get a huge laugh when people miss the mark by a few million miles.

:rolleyes:

[AfricanSkies]

i suppose its when you have been in the cockpit for so long thats its so boring to you that you have to try and invent aero-grammar and make it the prime concern of aviation life, as well as your pet hate, and examine everyone else as you autoconceive imaginery standards....takes the fun out of life:yuk:

[Howard Hughes]

The spanker's are still out there, heard "The Speedbird One Eight" Departing Melbourne just yesterday....

One Ball, why is Commander any more tosser like than captain? They both have origins in the same place!!

I for one am demanding people call me X-O instead of first officer these days!!

Cheers, HH.

:ok:

[Planet Express]

Just out of interest Sunfish- what is the ICAO wording on g'day?

Cheers mate

[Sunfish]

Dunno, but I started using it back when talking to YMEN Tower. They seem a very friendly, competent and very busy lot.

All of the long suffering ATC and briefing seem to put up with my stupidities ( the flight plan involving time travel :} and the occasional failure to cancel SARTIME) and never bite back.

They seem to have the patience of Job. I wonder what they feed them?

Cheers and Merry Christmas to all.

[Ron Burgundy]

Just a quick one

What is the general feeling about the R/T Professionalism of aussie military pilots?

I would be interested to know.

[one ball]

RAAF phraseology seems fine, generally. They are taught properly.

But they can't get past that bad habit of sounding like they've half-swallowed their mic as they speak.

Move the mic a little further from your mouths, guys. (pleeeease...)

[John Eacott]

???? With the mike built into the O2 mask, how do they do that :rolleyes:

[Capt Claret]

Take the mask off and hope they get it back on before becoming hypoxic! :rolleyes:

A bit like military fling wing pilots always sound sh!t scared on the radio!!! :p

[John Eacott]

CC,

Not S scared, more like curious: as in, why am I up here instead of in the bar ;)

Going OT with differing audio sounds, the type of mic & headset is quite noticable in GA, ranging from clear as a bell, to bl**dy awful. VicPol have a dreadful audio since CHC stripped the soundproofing from their machines, often almost unreadable, and some of the bugsmashers around need a severe microphone upgrade :rolleyes:

We used to operate with throat mikes, and got fairly used to interpreting radio calls (and intercom chat!) in deep bass, but all went to pieces when we embarked and had to deal with aluminium death tube drivers with their P masks, and Flyco/Ops with shipborne boom mikes. That lot sorted out the deaf from the cloth eared ;)

[Pinky the pilot]

When I was flying a glider towplane for a gliding club at a city in Hokkaido Japan I used to hear quite often a formation of Huey Cobra attack helicopters do the Japanese version of an 'all stations' broadcast as they transited our area. The flight leader always did the transmission and his voice always caused some merriment amongst us as he always sounded as he was being severely shaken about.
There were muffled snorts of amusement with tongue biting etc when some of us eventually met him at a party and we found that he actually spoke like that in reality!!:D :D

You only live twice. Once when
you're born. Once when
you've looked death in the face.

[one ball]

With the mike built into the O2 mask, how do they do that Something's gone badly wrong if he's swallowed his oxy mask mic.... sucking on a depleted cylinder maybe...

No, they are not all knuckleheads. I meant the guys who wear headsets or helmets with boom-mics. Always sounds like they are chewing on the mic when they're jawing through a well-worded transmission. You can hear the varying acoustic properties of their cheek-linings.

[Weapons_Hot]

1-Ball et al:
The term "commander" is used by JAA in all documents to refer to the pilot in command. The FAA and CAA (Aust) still refer to the pilot in command as "pilot in command".
Neither terms invoke "tosser" IMHO, but represent what the authorities have decided upon. ;)

[Omark44]

The term 'Commander' is also used to differentiate between the nominated commander of a heavy or double crewed aircraft where there is more than one captain on board.

If ATC miss your call sign when you make a transmission and ask for your callsign, ("aircraft calling at FL350 say again callsign" for example), then replying with, "It's the AB123" doesn't sound out of place, on the other hand announcing oneself as "THE AB123" is a bit unnecessary!

Anyone else think that the really sad wonkers/spankers here are the ones that seem to get so upset about it?;)

[Vampire 91]

A couple of tales from the past - and it seems that not a lot has changed.

Rember Captain Norman Bristow - British Airways used him in their advertising back in the late 70s I think it was. He was known for calling ATC with "Sydney, Norman here".

On Departures when 'The Speedbird XXX' reported airborne but failed to readback the assigned level. When requested to readback the assigned level the response was "I'm too busy". What a - rhymes with spanker.

[Howard Hughes]

Oh Vampire,

"Captain Hushpower" was my boyhood hero, I am devastated to find out his real name was "Captain Spanker"!!:{ ;)

Cheers, HH.

:ok:

[Roadrunner]

Whilst on R/T.

Anyone else out there amazed as I am, how some guys/girls that have probably been flyin around the planet for years, have not noticed that their transmissions are really distorted and garbled due to having the mic rammed in between their lips.
Seems to me only about maybe 30% of people do it, however, it does make listening to them difficult and even the controllers at times have a prob understanding them due to all the spluttering.

Not having a shot as none of us are perfect. (Just thought I'd put that in)
It is a problem that can be so easily rectified if only they are made aware of the situation. With of course, the use of much diplomacy.

[Howard Hughes]

Roadrunner,

Some mics are actually designed to be placed in the corner of your mouth between your lips and are shaped as such.

The one that I have is definately designed this way and I have never been accused of being garbled, furthermore the rig is 17 years old, although the mic has been replaced several times. May I suggest improper maintenance, having the mic to far away from one's mouth, faulty coms, poor soundproofing as well as a host of other reasons cause people to sound garbled.

Cheers, HH.

:ok:

PS: Of course a few elocution lesson's for some people would'nt go astray.

[BlueEagle]

On the older telephone handsets an accumulation of condensation/saliva etc would cause them to eventually go very woolly and distorted, in the case of the telephone it was rectified thus: screw off top of mouth-piece, remove old unit, insert new unit, replace top of mouth-piece, carry on 'phoning.

Possibly some of the older mics. now in use need replacing?

[Sunfish]

It would also help if some of the more expereinced and professional pilots didn't demonstrate their mastery of voice procedure by speaking at a million words per minute.

e.g."allstationsblahblahgrngopXYZrollingrunway17forgrzzzzinchnoab ove5000"

It may sound way cool, and not clog the frequency, but some of us slow thinkers prefer the wayATC, the VB and QF guys do it. Especially if the mic or comms are bad.

[Howard Hughes]

Good point Sunfish,

We have one guy where I work affectionately known as "Mumbles".

Unfortunately, he thinks he is "Waaaaay Cool" and as yet has failed to pick up on the subtle hints!!

Cheers, HH.

:ok:

[Hudson]

Been to Point Cook lately? Awful lot of instructors there who "XYZ Turns base". On base or turning base - but Turns base???

[Capt Claret]

Hudson,

Its much like,
enters
maintains
backtracks
climbs
descends


then a whole lot of superfluous words added for good measure just to try to get all the mandated stuff out! :rolleyes:

edit for phat phingers (maintaiins) :\

[18-Wheeler]

We have one guy where I work affectionately known as "Mumbles".

Unfortunately, he thinks he is "Waaaaay Cool" and as yet has failed to pick up on the subtle hints!!


Oh dear.
I know of who you speak.
Surprised Greenpeace haven't shoved him back into the water yet.

[Hugh Jarse]

Clarrie wrote:maintaiins

That was an Ansettism of the late 90's. Very A320-ish. I thought the person responsible was speaking in the collective, ie me (PNF), him/her (PF) and the computers making the decisions (what's it doing now?) :} :} Sadly, seems to have filtered through the whole food chain:yuk:

Gidday:}

[itchybum]

That was an Ansettism of the late 90's Dunno abut that... it was becoming rife in GA in the early 90s. Maybe it spread like a virus.

"ABC taxiis Blah for, Blah"

"ABC departs Blah, climbs blah, estimates blah blah at blah..."

Put up your hand if you did it.

Meanwhile I recently paxed somewhere (Rat flight) and the captain who "sounded" festooned with crust began his PA with these words, and I **** you not:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, The Captain SPEAKS.........."

Is there any valid reason why these grippers always seem to work for the Rat? Is it part of the training?

[porkypilot]

Try paris at night.

from our american cousins.
1. Request beacon and push.
2. Can we transition from taxiway B to D.
3. Descending 13.4 to 3

now that is spanking

[Roadrunner]

I thought the modern mic was way too sensitive to be placed so close to the lips.
The odd splutterer I see up close all have their mics too close.
Many of us here use the same headset and they work well if the mic is not too close to the lips.
Anyway, only mentioned it so as to maybe raise awareness of the issue. Listened to a fair number last night doing the same.
Mumbles wouldn'd fly for Qlink? If he comes across too cool it's not on purpose. Good lad.
Cheers.

[Howard Hughes]

Dunno abut that... it was becoming rife in GA in the early 90s. Maybe it spread like a virus.

Well they have'nt found the antidote then, cause it's still rife now!!

Best way to fix them, is beat it out of them with a big stick!! Works great on the F/O too....

Cheers, HH.

:ok:

PS: Roadrunner I reckon your talking about the DC H10-13.4, I would agree that this mic is meant to be used away from the mouth. But there are as many mics as there are headsets and a lot need to be in the corner of the mouth.

[Roadrunner]

HH

We use a fancy little Sony number. If the mic is too close it splutters, if placed a little bit away or just below bottom lip the tx is perfectly clear. Pretty simple fix really.
I guess it all boils down to listening to the quality of your transmission and experimenting with the mic position, if that is in fact the cause of the splutter.
I guess if you have been used to listening to a spluttering tx for long enouigh it sounds normal.

[Howard Hughes]

RR,

I guess not everybody flies a noise with wings...;)

Cheers, HH.

:ok:

[Last Sector Power]

You guy need to get a life, if all you have to worry about is if someones puts "The" in front of there callsign.

Aussies always have been quick to slack of others, think they need to look in the mirror (without there hand on it) some of the worst i have heard is from there!!:cool:

[Whiskey226]

Bless them they're keeping "recreational aviation" alive, but don't you just hate excessively "aviationised" talk when you're just trying to sort out something simple!!!

"XYZ confirm you are south of the field"

"This is XYZ, affirmative, yes, that is correct we are uhh two nautical miles south of the field, 500 feet, heading east, tracking for over water, uhh, over"

A simple yes would have sufficed....

This from a guy who elected to wait for a learjet to get on the ground after he heard his inbound call at 20 miles...


AAAARGH!!!!:mad:

[OperationsNormal]

Speaking of SPANKERS.......

Who was the Eastern spanker that was in Cooly the other day with a QANTAS hat on ?? (Big fukoff Q on the badge)

[Super Cecil]

Why flight numbers these days? What happened to just giving rego's? Why do training organisations have to have company callsigns in 172's? I could understand if the callsigns were shorter but "C 17'62" takes longer than a 3 figure rego.

Why do Aircraft have to say now "Flight 20,16 an IFR, RPT Dash 8" rather than "Tango Quebec Oscar a Dash 8" are there many VFR and not RPT Dash's doing the rounds?

Why do IFR Aircraft in VFR conditions in CTAF's have to give IFR position reports to VFR Aircfraft? Why say to an inbound VFR Aircraft "All stations ........... Callsign XX is doing a sector 3 entry for a 05 NDB, DME approach not below 5,500, all stations ..........."
Why not just say "Callsign XX is over the field 5,500 tracking southwest"? is this just a training thing so the student can practice radio call's"? It only makes for more radio clutter when the other Aircraft has to ask for the positon again.