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Bo Nalls
28th Oct 2004, 11:53
I had this sent to me and thought it might be worth sharing :O :O



Replies Put on Child Support Agency Forms

The following are all replies that women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details: These are genuine excerpts from the forms.

01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim X. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being
sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you
with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

03. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was
conceived at a party on Acacia Avenue where I had unprotected sex with
a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I
fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

04. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW
that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.
Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's
had it replaced.

05. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope
confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ
risen again.

06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do
so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for
the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country.
Please advise.

07. I do not know who the father of my child was as all sailors look the
same to me. I can confirm that he was on a ship berthed at Norfolk.

08. Peter X is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can
you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

09. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney -
maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for
sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening.
If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilised.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby- after all when
you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

Feeton Terrafirma
28th Oct 2004, 12:00
An oldie but goodie


I like 11 best

airship
28th Oct 2004, 12:30
12. I can't tell you the name of the father of my child. Well, I could, but then I'd have to kill you. Or would someone kill me? Anyway, whatever. It happened in an office. A round one. Well, it might not have been completely round. A little flat on 2 sides maybe.

Jerricho
28th Oct 2004, 14:32
02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being
sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

That's got to be one of the funniest things I have ever heard. I guess if she had been in a car it would have narrowed down a few suspects.

airship
28th Oct 2004, 14:51
Especially if the car had been a MG Midget with the top up...;)

Jerricho
28th Oct 2004, 14:55
I have never had sex with a man

Must resist urge to be really rude and bring this place into disrepute.................again

Foxy Loxy
28th Oct 2004, 18:32
Why? It doesn't normally stop you Jerricho! ;)

Foxy

Blacksheep
29th Oct 2004, 05:42
If number two is from Bingley near Nottingham, I think I can put her on to the culprit. The stingey git still owes me ten quid and I'd really like to get my own back.

Jerricho
29th Oct 2004, 15:34
Is the tenner from a bet, a loan or services rendered?:E

Blacksheep
30th Oct 2004, 20:39
A loan Jerricho. Couldn't believe my eyes when he said "Oooh look at that!" and coolly rogered the poor girl. What scares me is that my name might be on her list of suspects too, even though I prefer my victims aware and wriggling.