View Full Version : Little people were alive and well untill?

tony draper
27th Oct 2004, 18:59
They have found the skeleton of a adult woman less than a meter tall with a head the size of a grapefruit in a Indonesian Cave, Scientists say they are a new species of human and could still have been alive walking the Earth up to almost historical periods, this lady died only 18,000 years ago.
Facinating :uhoh:

27th Oct 2004, 19:03
They didn't live in holes under hills, did they? :ooh:

Onan the Clumsy
27th Oct 2004, 19:03
this lady died only 18,000 years ago Was it someone you knew? :p

tony draper
27th Oct 2004, 19:07
Hmmm rude poem, rude poem, let me see, hmmm, Onan the Clumsy.

It does bring into question the idea that intelligence is linked to brain size, I mean what would a female need a brain as large as a grapefruit for.
Oeeerrrr I'm orf!!:uhoh:
Thats the EU Commisioners job up the swaney Draper.

27th Oct 2004, 20:22
Somepeople's mind is like a grapefruit; tangy and tasty, fragrant and lovely.

Other people's mind is like a durian. :E

Solid Rust Twotter
27th Oct 2004, 20:33
Exploded view of a horse chestnut for those creationists planning to build one?

27th Oct 2004, 20:41
Dear Tony

Is that any way to speak about the fairer sex! Where would you be without ladies out there.

Especially the ones who have a cranial capacity of a grapefruit!

27th Oct 2004, 20:50
Your "loaf of bread"
Or else "your Swede"
For Southern head,
Or Northern heid,

Some say. When thoughts
Are slow to come
They say his brains
Are in his bum.

tony draper
27th Oct 2004, 20:52
Now you ladies mention it the thought strikes one that one has not had grapefruit for a while, one was quite found of a grapefruit before ones bacon an eggs,one has tended to purchase the canned grapefruit segments of late, and very nice they are to, saves fannying about with bendy knives and such and getting squirted with juice as well.

27th Oct 2004, 20:55
Oh Tony

Really must learn the art of slicing a grapefruit and segmenting it and having it present in the skin on the plate.

One just does not do the tinned variety!

tony draper
27th Oct 2004, 20:57
The little lady despite small head,
Could no doubt nag to wake the dead.

Those dammed Scientist have a cheek Mamasan Flappy, they find a womans skull and immediatly declare they they have a new species of man? how do they know, the ladies might have been hermaphrodites and us XY types may not have been necessary.

Nigerian Expat Outlaw
27th Oct 2004, 21:34
Whats wrong with short women with no teeth, flat heads and full purses ?

27th Oct 2004, 21:41
Have you heard of the male body Dr. Cattishly found in the most beautiful area of the cave? Body significantly taller and brain twice as big as the ladies'. :p

27th Oct 2004, 21:45
Whats wrong with short women with no teeth, flat heads and full purses

I though they had to have big ears as well.

tony draper
27th Oct 2004, 21:48
Yers that apple tree with the snake living in it is a hint as to what the place was called as well.

27th Oct 2004, 21:51
that apple tree with the snake living in

Couldn't be Ireland then.

28th Oct 2004, 00:17
The picture that appeared in the papers here reminded me of one of Sprocket's former lady friends. Of course that was many years ago, when he was not quite the discerning gentleman we know now.


28th Oct 2004, 00:53
Slightly off the point ( way off actually)
Drapes, do my eyes decieve me, you fruit emblem picture thingy sems to resembleble a Durian. A fruit that stinks, tastes like soap, burns the mouth, raises ones teperature, and bloddy difficult to open due to the nasty spikes. Commonly found in Thailand / Malaysia ( I think banned in Singapore).:confused:

28th Oct 2004, 01:14
Tinny has Jackfroot trees in his garden delicious if yer can beat the frootbats to em.

These little folks are being called Hobbits on account they got arms come down past their knees.
Tinny is quite certain he has seen football players in his home town with the same characteristics.

28th Oct 2004, 01:39
Avtrician Drapes' new emblem is a bisected horse chestnut. He probably picked that 'cos he was a conker champion at school.

BTW my almost ex-Mrs907 is nearly 2 metres tall with a brain the size of a grapefruit. Does she count and can I leave her body to science (preferably NOW)?

Drapes Had a really good crop of grapefruit this year. 'Spose it's not the kind of thing you can grow in Newcastle - even against a south-facing wall!

Bern Oulli
28th Oct 2004, 06:20
And how did they know it was a woman?

Because the mouth was open.

Quote from prehistoric Goon Show "The Scarlet Capsule", broadcast in the days before Political Correctness Gone Mad.

28th Oct 2004, 13:19

A previously unknown species of miniature human barely a metre tall, who hunts pygmy elephants and giant rats has been discovered in Sunderland. UK

Scientists have discovered a female member of the species called Savanah, living in a caravan park in the remote Ryhope district.

Sunderland South MP - Chris J Mullin (Labour) said " Archaic humans have co-existed for tens of thousands of years within our community. This a truly amazing discovery and a team of Community Action DoGood Helpers from Sunderland Council will look to develop a shared vision, principles for action and priorities (known as strategic objectives) for our new friends. Key targets have been identified to achieve better outcomes than would have been achieved by organisations working alone to ensure that she has a framework for improving the quality of life as we do for all people in Sunderland"

"Savanah weighs around 25 kilograms and has a brain smaller than most chimpanzees," said Professor Morcombe from Sunderland University "Even so, she has adapted well to kitchen routines. Despite tiny brains, these little humans almost certainly have a language and we have already started decoding expressions such as " Weors me sershal giro "

The discovery of the species, published today in the Sunderland Echo is being hailed as one of the most important in a century in the study of human origins. A spokesman remarked "Until now, it had been thought our only recent cousins were the Neanderthals in Europe, who died out about 30,000 years ago. Now we know that Neanderthals, or their closely realted genetic descendents, still have a viable and active foothold in Sunderland"

Spot the deliberate mistake

Feeton Terrafirma
28th Oct 2004, 13:33
Sprocket's former lady friends. Of course that was many years ago, when he was not quite the discerning gentleman we know now.

Just climbing back onto my chair and rubbing my sore butt..... still can't stop laffing thou

28th Oct 2004, 15:12
I have a theory, hear me out...

Today, we're becoming much more of a meritorious society. With fewer prejudices against those of other races and, why not, statures. I know of at least 2 people who could be described as being shortish. Both self-made and well able to finance very comfortable lives together with abundunt mistresses. Given time, their offspring will probably result in a shorter-person World.

Perhaps 18,000 years ago, meritocracy already ruled supreme in some parts...?! :8

Kaptin M
28th Oct 2004, 15:32
"Heading home with Mrs Hobbit, Mr Hobbit noticed there was something more than a little different between the two of them."

28th Oct 2004, 15:51
Rather Mr Hobbit wondered why Mrs Hobbit had developed a remarkably similar physiology to his own.

Then he wondered where had her breasts gone?

Using his much larger brain he deduced that he still do not know why human breasts evolved. No animal has mammary glands like a woman’s and large breasts do not produce more milk than smaller ones. So why did breasts evolve, and why do some men seem to prefer them?


28th Oct 2004, 15:57
But I do prefer smaller breasts. Then again, one is merely an unhappy...leftover! :{

28th Oct 2004, 18:40
It's a Durian all right.
For his sins. :E

28th Oct 2004, 18:45
There's a view that breasts became necessary after apes got up and used only two extremities to walk. The ladies' ass therefore moved slightly out of its previously very dominant position.

This somehow had to be replaced. According to Desmond Morris (The Human Animal, BBC Books) tumescences of the breasts present in female mammals during breast-feeding didn't go back after feeding, instead evolution made them even bigger. They became ass and sexuality symbols on the forefront, substituting the ass a little bit.

Morris bases his thesis on the anatomical fact that the size of the breasts has nothing to do with feeding capacity, as the breasts are made largely by "unneeded" fatty tissue.

Though the book doesn't mention the Hobbits, it might be true.

tony draper
28th Oct 2004, 18:52
Gwan giz me piggy back!! :{

Mac the Knife
28th Oct 2004, 18:54
Short People
Randy Newman

Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
To live

They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little fett

Well, I don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Round here

Short People are just the same
As you and I
(A Fool Such As I)
All men are brothers
Until the day they die
(It's A Wonderful World)

Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
To love

They got little baby legs
And they stand so low
You got to pick 'em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That got beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin' peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
They're gonna get you every time
Well, I don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
'Round here

28th Oct 2004, 20:31
'Bout 4 years ago I was waiting on the platform in Oslo to take the airport express train. Announcement about platform change over the tannoy and I was approached by a rather forlorn & ruffled looking gent who asked me could I translate what had been said please? American chap, on his way to the airport, clearly feeling lost. Going seamlessly into FA mode even in civilian, I told him to stick with me and I'd get him to the airport no worries.
He took that literally and planted himself right next to me on the train. We got chatting about the various countries we'd both visited. As he was obviously well travelled, his lack of sophistatication about the mechanics of travelling didn't rhyme. I aksed him how come he din't even know how to take the train or how to check in for a flight?
He was a soft spoken fellow and sheepishly informed me that he was used to traveling with 'people who look after that sort of thing' and that he'd been in Oslo to do a charity appearance on his own.
So what business are you in then?
Ermm.. I'm a musician, I sing songs and stuff. What do you do?
I'm an FA. So he tells me one of his big dreams had always been to sit in the cockpit during a take off and landing, but that it was impossible in America.
Turned out we were on the same flight to Amserdam, and that I knew the captain. Who was more than pleased to have Randy Newman quietly drinking in the events from the cockpit jumpseat and looking totally blissed out with the whole experience for all of 90 minutes. :)

Piggy icons is for nice chaps wot respect wimin.
Durian icon is for chaps who think mysogenist jokes are funny. :E

Kaptin M
28th Oct 2004, 21:10
http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/aircraft/flypig7.gifYour pig's been hijacked by a durian, Drapes
But to be honest, I don't know which one smells worse.

Back to the hobbits.......scientists on Flores (the small island in Indonesia where the skeletons were unearthed), wonder how the homo flores became extinct, or if indeed they are.
One theory is that a volcanic eruption may have knocked them all off, if not by the debris rainig down on them, then by the noxious gasses emitted.

Randy's relation, Thunderclap. also wrote a song about the Hobbits, and the need for them to urgently procreate (which might be the reason there were 7 of the little beggars all together in the cave...a Hobbit orgy. Don't let these orgies become a Hobbit, boom boom!!)

Artist: Thunderclap Newman Lyrics
Song: Something in the Air Lyrics

Call out the instigators
Because there's something in the air
We've got to get together sooner or later
Because the revolution's here, and you know it's right
And you know that it's right

We have got to get it together
We have got to get it together now

Lock up the streets and houses
Because there's something in the air
We've got to get together sooner or later
Because the revolution's here, and you know it's right
And you know that it's right

We have got to get it together
We have got to get it together now

Hand out the arms and ammo
We're going to blast our way through here
We've got to get together sooner or later
Because the revolution's here, and you know it's right
And you know that it's right

We have got to get it together
We have got to get it together

1st Nov 2004, 23:54
Must be talking about our Government Ministers, and juniors then.