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MadsDad
26th Oct 2004, 09:26
Or at least it is according to the T.V. adverts.:(

So it is time for MadsDad to set off on his annual round of Xmas shopping, with his standard shopping list.:{

Unfortunately for the last couple of years I haven't been able to source my requirements correctly and have ended up having to purchase Everton mints. These are a fine product but not the real thing.

Anyone know where I can get REAL humbugs?:E

Bah!!!!

Feeton Terrafirma
26th Oct 2004, 09:36
www.eBay.com

MadsDad
26th Oct 2004, 11:03
Feeton, ta. Although yesterday evening there wasn't anything showing by way of actual sweets on e-bay on a search for 'humbugs', only empty tins (although someone has since added the actual product).

I have ordered some already, found using Google, and these will form my contribution to the office Xmas frenzy (that and removing any decorations which encroach on the air-space over my desk).

G-AWZK
26th Oct 2004, 11:05
You could always try A Quarter of (http://www.aquarterof.co.uk/)

A jolly good website where you can get plenty of tuck from times past.

allan907
26th Oct 2004, 11:36
Mads Dad There used to be a general store in the village of Otterburn (on the A696 Newcastle-Jedburgh) that used to stock all the old-fashioned sweets in traditional jars.

Well remember stocking up on 'Black Bullets' and humbugs when heading up there with cadets from RAF Cranwell.

And speaking about Christmas.......isn't it strange that the crayfish fishing season opens just before the festivities (for all non Aussies - Christmas is generally spent round the barbie with a cray or two and lots of prawns and spending the day with lots of tinnies lounging in the spa - eat yer heart out!)

MadsDad
26th Oct 2004, 11:49
Allan907. We often spend Xmas in the UK with a few prawns. Usually distant relatives we don't (thankfully) see for the rest of the year.

As for Otterburn, used to know the place well. Used the ranges for rally stages, often a bit chilly (remember one in particular, Mintex in February, where a stage was about to be cancelled because it was blocked by a 20' snowdrift. The army drove a tank through it to make a tunnel so we could run the stage). Bit of a distance to go now for a packet of sweeties (about 300 miles).

Dop
26th Oct 2004, 11:53
On a similar note, Whittards are selling mugs which say "BAH HUMBUG" on them.
http://www.whittard.co.uk/isroot/whittard/ProductImages/medium/20040.jpg

Wholigan
26th Oct 2004, 11:57
In "The Sweeterie" in Yeovil Mad's Dad.

Jerricho
26th Oct 2004, 17:05
Awwww thanks MadsDad.

Another day closer to Christmas, another day closer to me freezing my ass off. ;)

djk
26th Oct 2004, 21:17
you could try The Old Sweet Shop (http://www.oldsweetshop.com)

Captain Efis
26th Oct 2004, 22:32
Hi, i have already started writting my xmas cards :O so many to write, so i decided on a head start... :\

Jerricho
27th Oct 2004, 02:40
Don't agree with cards. Of any description. Just a waste of some poor trees. (I think we've been here before).

Windy Militant
27th Oct 2004, 09:07
As far as I'm concerned Christmas is a pain in the arse! (http://www.theaccelerators.co.uk/) This year I'm going to Hibernate. :zzz: :zzz: so I don't have to suffer the annual Hostilities! :*

eal401
16th Nov 2004, 16:23
Here in Preston, we'll have....er......no-one. Well, a couple of DJ's from the local radio station. But that's it.

Not like Blackburn, who get DJ's from the same radio station. And Peter Andre.

:yuk:

topcat450
16th Nov 2004, 16:25
Meadowhall apparantly had Simon Cowell (or so I was told) and I beleive Darius is doing the Sheffield City centre.

timmcat
16th Nov 2004, 16:38
Leeds had Chris Moyles and 'Girls Aloud'

tony draper
16th Nov 2004, 16:47
Yeh we got celebs to do it when we first got electricity as well.
:rolleyes:
You buggas will be wearing shoes next.
:rolleyes:

X-QUORK
16th Nov 2004, 18:58
Banbury has a couple of eejit "Victoria and Becks" lookalikes switching on the lights....god bloody help us.:ugh:

Jerricho
16th Nov 2004, 19:09
We've got a Polar Bear.

Flypuppy
16th Nov 2004, 19:26
Kirkintilloch will be having The Crankies switch on their Christmas lights (again).


http://mierda.mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk/images/kirkintillochlights.jpg

http://mierda.mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk/images/news/xmaslightssmall.jpg
Kirkintilloch: transformed into a magical winter wonderland

Capn Notarious
16th Nov 2004, 19:28
We've got a Polar Bear
There is always one who has to have a "one better".

Some have foxes hanging around the dustbins for remains of the turkey. Fussy is Noel Fox, thems also partial to other Christmas leftovers: but I never done see one in a Christmas hat!

Jerricho
16th Nov 2004, 21:26
I'm told that it's better than last year.

They had a moose (I don't know what her name was)

redsnail
16th Nov 2004, 22:05
I reckon this is the perfect pressie.
Burton Liquid Lounger (http://www.snowandrock.com/shop/department/packs_and_luggage/travel_bags/products/BONMD.htm)

joe2812
16th Nov 2004, 22:23
Heres one (http://www.gadgetshop.com/eshop/product.asp?pf_id=15979&Masterdept_id=3&dept_id=5201&SITE=1&TP=product.asp&TID=-1&VID=&S_ID=9C7D9229C62B44B5BEC1E9054B612E1F&REFID=0&SESSID=&BRAND=1&S_TYPE=U&AV=F&QB=F&CAMID=0&BV=0) for the guys at Xmas... excellent little stocking filler!

Jerricho
16th Nov 2004, 23:59
Hey, that's a nice ass!

AntiCrash
17th Nov 2004, 21:25
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or the secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

In addition, please also accept our best wishes for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 200X, but not without the due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make this country great (not to imply that this country is necessarily greater than any other country or area of choice), and without regard to race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual orientation of the wishers.

This is limited to the customary and usual good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. “Holiday” is not intended, nor shall it be considered, limited to the usual Judeo-Christian celebrations or observances, or to such activities of any of any organized or ad hoc religious community, group, individual or belief (or lack thereof ).

Note: By accepting this greeting you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher at any time, for any reason or for no reason at all. This greeting freely is transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. This greeting implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement and of the wishes for the wisher her/himself or others, or responsibility for the consequences which may arise from the implementation or non-implementation of it.


This greeting is void where prohibited by law.

Blackshift
18th Nov 2004, 01:10
Christmas is an unholy alliance of the Northern European midwinter "Yule" festival and the roughly contemporanious ancient Roman festival of "Saturnalia" (17 Dec).

It was forged by the Roman Emperor Constantine I after he was converted to Christianity in an attempt to unify northern and southern European culture at a time when the Roman Empire was in decline.

Yule was the ancient Pagan festival of Winter Solstice, at which time the Druids would check the changing position of the sun's going down and rising over the horizon by means of standing stone circles etc - eventually confirming that the season had turned and the days were indeed lengthening once again. This was celebrated by merry making, the exchange of gifts amongst family and friends, and associated with the warmth and light of the hearth - the burning of the Yule Log.

Bearing in mind the length of time it would take to verify this in a typical northern European Winter, this is pretty much the same period of celebration as the modern Christmas/New Year celebrations. New Year is of course an artificial convention, winter solstice being the "real" new year - a natural astronomical phenomenon associated with the changing tilt of the earth as it orbits the sun. It is interesting that we continue to delay the observation of a new calendar year to around the same period of time involved in the verification and celebration of this process in ancient times

Saturnalia, on the other hand, originally involved servants and slaves being allowed to celebrate temporary liberty, often being "served" by their masters, although it eventually came to be widely criticised as little more than a dissolute festival of drunkeness and debauchery indicative of the decadence of the late Roman Empire.

The creation of Christmas was an attempt to re-brand and combine these old traditions in order to popularise the Emperors new-found monotheistic religion throughout the empire and beyond. Elements from these ancient practices, as well as Christianity, are evident in the popular modern day celebration of Christmas.

Santa Claus, or Father Christmas, is a more recent amalgamation of St Nicholas, the Dutch/German patron saint of Children who's feast day was originally 6 Dec and a mythical woodland character who was traditionally depicted as wearing the kind of outfit we now associate with Santa - except it was green. Our modern image of Santa in red was a result of a Coca-Cola advertising campain in the early 20th century.

The late 19th century novel A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens and its mid 20th century reworking in the form of Frank Capra's movie Its a Wonderful Life are some of the modern parables of kindness and decency and its importance in the fragile interdependence of the human condition which have become particularly emblematic of Christmas as we now know it.

So next time some Religious Person tries to make you feel bad about not understanding the real meaning of Christmas, just tell them that Biblical Scholars reckon that the birth of Jesus would have been around Springtime in our modern calendar, and that you are in fact celabrating an entirely different, and even more ancient tradition which was highjacked by State Religion in the early middle ages.

There are Christians who realise this, and accordingly do not recognise Christmas as part of their religious tradition.

The sentiments of Peace on Earth and Good Will to all Men have never been more important than in modern times, and have hardly been demonstrated to be the monopoly of any one religious or cultural tradition.

Please feel free to copy, paste and email this to any bible-bashing killjoy of your aquaintance:ok:

Seasons Greetings to One and All!

Blackshift

Blacksheep
18th Nov 2004, 09:21
Druids would check the changing position of the sun's going down and rising over the horizon by means of standing stone circles etc - eventually confirming that the season had turned and the days were indeed lengthening once again.

I very much doubt if the jolly old Druids 'confirmed' that the days were once again lengthening. I'd be more inclined to believe that they spent some time chanting incantations and exhortations to the Gods, accompanied by a sacrifice or two. Then they would inform the masses that they had once again succeeded in persuading the Gods to smile on humanity and give them their Sun back again...

...and the masses would swallow it and keep on feeding the Druids. Nice work if you could get it, Druiding was. Some say it still is, although the number of Gods has been reduced and the Druids have changed their appearance slightly.

By the way, wasn't it Mithras that was born on the 25th December, in a cave, to a virgin mother, laid in a manger and visited by the shepherds? A century or three before Pontius first flew solo in Judea?

MadsDad
18th Nov 2004, 09:24
According to the papers recently there weren't any druids anyway when Stonehenge was built - they are a recent (19th century) development, invented by the Victorian romantics .

All the Stonehengers would have had was a woad-smeared shaman apparently.

Blackshift
18th Nov 2004, 09:38
Blacksheep,

I share your sentiments.

However archeologists understand stone circles to have been the observatories of their time, and the long shadows cast by them at dawn or dusk on a clear day would serve as verification of otherwise imperceptibly lengthening days.

They can therefore be understood as not only the priesthood, but also the scientists of their day. Although the same applies to the many involved in the clergy within the Judaeo-Christian and Islamic traditions until perhaps as late as the 18th century.

MadsDad,

Apart from Stoehenge there are literally thousands of smaller sites of standing stones as well as other structures throughout northern Europe which are believed to have been put to such use.

As for Stonehenge - if you read it in the papers it must be true!

keithl
18th Nov 2004, 15:15
Druids a Victorian invention, Mads Dad??
What were Julius Caesar and Tacitus referring to, then? Or were they looking into the future?

MadsDad
18th Nov 2004, 16:43
To start at the end.

Keithl. I gave up Latin as soon as I could at school and have never read them i the original. And the translations I read didn't mention Druids, just priests.

Blackshift. I do not deny the existence of stonehenge (I drive past it regularly) or of the many other standing stones (my favourite circle is in the A38 junction at Ashburton, although a friend of mine has a stone circle on her farm) and of the use for which they were built.

What I do not believe in is the current interpretation with the scythe-swinging (from a pre iron age society) mistletoe-bearing (although they would almost have used mistletoe in healing potions it would have been a trade secret) hooded priesthood. I am sure there were priests (shamans, wise men, medicine men whatever) with healing knowledge (herbal cures and palliatives) and 'secret' knowledge of the seasons (from shadow length etc.).

But the modern druid image is a romantic invention.

Blackshift
18th Nov 2004, 20:07
MadsDad,

I'm far from some sort of new age hippy with romantic notions of a lost age of pagan wisdom such as those you refer to.

Feel free to interpolate Ancient Priesthood, Wise Men, Shamans or whatever in place of the word "Druid" if it makes you feel better.

Please excuse me for continuing to use the word on account of the fact that it only has four letters and is generally understood to refer to those who played such a role in Northern Europe during the period in question.

MadsDad
19th Nov 2004, 08:51
Blackshift

Not entirely what I read in the papers - I did do some research afterward. (A relatively simple description available here
Druids (http://religiousmovements.lib.virginia.edu/nrms/drud.html) - picked as first on the Google list, no other reason).

What I am arguing is that most people see the current ceremonies and assume that the ancient druids did the same sort of thing and current druids claim that they should be allowed to practice their rituals because they are handed down from the ancients. The ancient druids may have done this but there is a lot of 'believed' and 'probably' in the academic research. And some of it can't be original - no iron when Stonehenge was built.

And its not just the druids - all religions I know of have adopted there ceremonies over time.

Finally, pedant mode on.

Druid = 4 letters?

And the revival wasn't Victorian as I said originally, it was early 1700s.

Pedant mode off.

Evanelpus
19th Nov 2004, 09:16
A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is it OK for us guys to notice all the different kind of boobs?"

Surprised, the father answers, "Well, sure son, we wouldn't be normal if we didn't. There are all kinds of breasts depending on a woman's age. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons,
round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions, Dad?" "Yeah, you see them and they make you cry." Not to be outdone, his sister asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of weenies are there?"

The mother, delighted to have equal time, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's weenie is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?" "Yep, dried up and the balls are only there for decoration.

itchy kitchin
19th Nov 2004, 09:21
It really warms the heart to see people getting into the festive spirit!:ok:

Blackshift
19th Nov 2004, 18:20
MadsDad,

WOOPS!... 5 letters.

Don't drink and pprune!:O

From the period I refered to in my rambling tale of christmas past, see under "Classical Druids" in your link...Scholars are still working to decipher what may have actually been their practices and beliefs, as most of the writing about the Druids was done by people who were antagonistic to their ways The stuff I mentioned about the use of standing stones at winter solstice is important in understanding the origins, timing and development of our modern Christmas/New Year Celebrations, whether those who practiced this were Druids, Bards, Wizards, Proto-Scientists or whatever.

Cheers M'Dears!

con-pilot
19th Nov 2004, 18:57
From the JB past

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 01, 2003
RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm.

Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over £10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.

This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty


==============================


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 02, 2003
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy Holidays to you and your family.


Patty


==============================


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 03, 2003
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore.
How am I supposed to handle this?

Somebody?

Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that £10.00 is too much money and executives believe £10.00 is a little chintzy.

NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.


==============================


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 04, 2003
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party!
Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the rest-rooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed though.
We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty


==============================


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All ****ing Employees
DATE: October 05, 2003
RE: The ****ing Holiday Party

Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your ****ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!


==============================


FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 06, 2003
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays



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Blackshift
19th Nov 2004, 19:03
What a shame...sounds like it could have been fun! :\

Oh yeah, another transatlantic addition to the mix - happy thanksgiving!

Rollingthunder
19th Nov 2004, 19:11
Nah, we had Thanksgiving back in October, the correct month for it..

MadsDad
19th Nov 2004, 21:10
And to return to the true meaning of Xmas and the start of this thread.

Got my jar of sweeties today, all Xmas preparations now complete. :ok:

Thanks to all for the advice.

Blackshift
19th Nov 2004, 21:19
Congratulations on the correct spelling.

The X stands for mistletoe. :)

Blacksheep
20th Nov 2004, 03:43
Just in passing, lets wish all members of the Mystery Cult of Mithras a jolly Happy Whatever You Call It Day.

[and don't forget to stun the bull before you stuff it! ;)]

gravanom
20th Nov 2004, 04:11
Well if we're going to be doing druids...

'No one knows where they came from....

...or what they they were doing.'


Name that film.

Jerricho
20th Nov 2004, 21:18
Well, it's that time of year again where we all wish each other seasons greetings, peace to all men and tidings of comfort and joy............and then proceed to try and run each other over in the car park trying to get a spot closest to the door.

My involvement? I had to take a little wander down to our local mall to have a look at something Mrs J suggested it might be a good idea to look at :rolleyes: (although, why it had to be today to go look at it was beyond me).

Well, our local mall has become a war zone. The car park has become a symphony of car horns and a dance floor of cars trying to squeeze past others waiting for a spot next to the door. Inside, hoards of festive consumers all pushing and bumping (a little different from bumping and grinding ;) ). Kids puking on their parents, or collapsed in a heap on the floor screaming they want the latest Sponge-Bob doll with the kung-fu grip and rocket launcher. A poor staff member of a chocolate shop standing at the front door of the shop, dressed as an elf, being accosted as she hold a tray of samples (must say, a very attractive elf as well). The seemingly endless array of decorations for sale, with prices that vary from fair to "You've got to be effin kidding me. It's a bloody christmas decoration, not a deposit for a house".

*Sigh* I love it. I could sit there all day and watch it. Pitty Mrs J made me come home.

keithl
22nd Nov 2004, 13:28
Mads Dad

Check paras 13 & 14 here (http://harvest.rutgers.edu/latintexts/caesar/gallic/gallic6.html)

The word is "Druides". Hardly made up in the 19th Century. 50-ish BC more like.

MadsDad
22nd Nov 2004, 14:55
Keithl.

Don;t think I denied the existence of a priestly sect (Shaman, Druid, whatever you wish to call them) in BC. I use the Stone Age as a base date since that is what the druids use as their base (using the circles from that date as thye bases for their ceremonies). What I am saying is that modern Druids ceremonial owes nothing except by co-incidence to the original religion. Since we don't know what or how they worshipped. (As for 'Druides' I did a bit of checking. It's definitely not original (English didn't exist pre-Roman and with from advice from a linguist friend (cunning sort of bloke he is too, I am informed), the 'es' plural would be 12th Century probably. Spelling fashions change).

con-pilot. I'm still waiting for my invitation to the works Xmas party - I think I could have fun there.

Evanelpus
23rd Nov 2004, 09:23
A Festive Story!!

Last year, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute Xmas shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season. It was dark, cold, and wet in the multi story car park, I noticed that I was missing the ticket which I would need to get out of the car park, so mumbling under my breath, I retraced my steps to the shopping center entrance.

As I was searching the wet pavement, i heard a quiet sobbing. The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about 10 years old. He was short and thin. He had no coat. He was just wearing a ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the cold evening's chill.

He was holding two fifty pound notes in his hand. Thinking that he had got lost from his parents, i asked him what was wrong and he told me his sad story. He came from a large family. His father had died when he was seven years old. His mother worked two full time jobs to make ends meet. Nevertheless, she had managed to scrimp and save two hundred pounds to buy her children Christmas presents.

The young boy had been dropped off, by his mother, on the way to her second job. He was to use the money to buy presents for all his brothers and sisters and save just enough to take the bus home. He had not even entered the shopping centre, when an older boy grabbed two of his fifty pound notes and disappeared into the night. "Why didn't you scream for help?" I asked. The boy said, "I did." "And nobody came to help you?"

The boy stared at the ground and sadly shook his head. "How loud did you scream?" I enquired. The soft-spoken boy looked up and meekly whispered, "help me!" I realised that absolutely no one could have heard that poor boy cry for help.

So, I grabbed his other two fifty pound notes and f*cked off.

maxburner
23rd Nov 2004, 11:19
On a related subject....whilst the lights in Regent Street are pretty and festive (no, not gay) the lights in Oxford Street are pathetic. (Both the fine streets are in London, for our foreign contributors). Anybody else notice or agree with this?

Jerricho
23rd Nov 2004, 15:39
I've always loved the lights along Oxford Street. What have they done different?

TheStormyPetrel
28th Nov 2004, 01:45
There seems to be a trend towards Christmas cards being sent with the newsy letter all typed up and even scanned signatures.

There is no doubt it takes time to hand write newsy "once a year" letters, so it's much quicker and easier to prepare an appropriate letter and mass print it.

Yet I find myself wondering about the lack of a personal touch to the particular recipient. Maybe I'm just resisting moving with the times, but I quite like something on a card that suggests the sender knew it was "me" the card was being sent to, other than my name printed and mail merged.

I do love the Christmas cards that are created with photos of the sender's family on the front, specially if taken with a Christmas theme. These can be fun to create and unique.

Still, I somehow like that personal "to you" type of pen to paper touch enscribed on the cards somewhere. Am I alone in this?

Onan the Clumsy
28th Nov 2004, 02:41
Humbug!

Bah to the lot of 'em I say :*

Pseudonymn
28th Nov 2004, 03:41
Stormy,

I make my Christmas Cards personally, using blank card and rubber stamps. Takes about 5 minutes to make one from start to finish, depending on how creative you want to be.

Because of the time involved, it helps to start making the cards early in the year, so you don't have to rush to finish them. I might not write as much in the card itself, but a handmade card tell its own story. :ok:

I do know that one of my aunts uses a computer for all of hers, but they are all individual, not mass-mailers, which takes almost as much time.

OzExpat
28th Nov 2004, 04:39
I agree that the individually prepared letters and personally selected humourous Christmas cards are best. They show that you think enough about the recipient to take the extra time to personalise the greeting. But it really takes a very long time, by the time you've repeated the process 40 or 50 times, trying desperately to find slightly different ways to say much the same thing - in case two different recipients get together and compare the Christmas greetings they got from you! :O

I don't know about anyone else, but I simply do not have the necessary amount of time available to do that any more. Thus, I started using the broadcast type annual letter two years ago. It isn't ideal, but most folks understand the time factor these days, I think.

gatfield
28th Nov 2004, 04:59
I can't stand getting cards from people who you haven't heard from in ages (rels or friends) and all they put on the card is Merry Christsmas, nothing about what they have been up to etc..

I mean why bother?

What the hell does Merry Christmas mean anyway?

Feeton Terrafirma
28th Nov 2004, 05:10
I just send an email, if that. Guess it comes from lack of respect for christians who stole the true Pagan festivals like the Mid Winter Festival (Winter Solstice), which became xmas.

Gainesy
28th Nov 2004, 13:17
Don't think I'll bother this year, its all far too commercialised.

DX Wombat
28th Nov 2004, 14:08
There is an aspect of computer generated cards which you may not have fully appreciated. I used to write an annual one for my mum. She was in a Nursing Home in Australia and had lost the ability to write and send her own. The staff there were wonderful and would provide me with a comprehensive list of mum's activities over the previous year. I used to compose a suitably decorated letter which mum would read and add to if she wished. I then posted the completed article to all her friends in Australia and the UK. The cards were never great works of literature or artistic content but they said what mum wanted to say to everyone and she was happy. Please don't knock the idea of these cards, they can provide a very necessary means of communication for some people.

BlueDiamond
28th Nov 2004, 14:08
It takes a lot more personal effort to design and produce a card by computer than it does to just buy a packet of them from the shop. The graphics for my last year's one took over nine hours work to produce, then the cards have to be printed, folded and signed etc. so we're not talking economy of time here. Besides, a lot of things are done electronically these days. When was the last time anyone wrote a letter as opposed to doing that by word processor?

TheStormyPetrel
28th Nov 2004, 14:31
I'm not sure if the last two posts were to me, but let me clear the air.

My point is that I just think it's nicer if there's some personal content to the recipient, and I like to do it by putting pen to paper to make a comment specific to that person.

We also spend ages preparing a card on the computer. We take a photo of the family, sometimes dressed in Christmassy stuff (this year outside and got lots of hoots and toots as we were wearing Santa's hats etc) and write a letter which sums up our year. I love it, as with this approach, our cards get to people before Christmas (I never could find time to do all those hand-written ones in time for Christmas before). I love the mail merge. It's so easy to keep the addresses up to date during the year and the posties can read the envelopes!!

I stood back a bit in my first post, to give people a chance to say what they thought more easily, but now's the time to lay my cards down and say that I think computerised cards are just wonderful, having a family picture on them is great. Some people we send cards to we don't see for years at a time, and with pictures, we will at least recognise each other when we meet again ;)

Don't give up on sending cards, Gainesy. There is nothing commercial in what I'm describing, is there? It's a family wish to friends and family once a year.

flapsforty
28th Nov 2004, 17:12
Thanks for the reminder Stormy!
Family organised, snowy picture taken, card design chosen and the whole thing sent off to the printer.
The intermet is a wonderful thing. :ok:


..... just hope No2 Childs lingering hangover won't be too obvious on the final product ........ ;)

X-QUORK
29th Nov 2004, 19:32
OK, 'tis nearly silly season once again, and I have absolutely no idea what to get for my nearest and dearest. I was wondering if anyone else has been organised enough to have already got the Christmas shopping sorted, and if so...any ideas?

To make matters worse, it's her birthday in a couple of weeks time too! :uhoh:

Astra driver
29th Nov 2004, 19:36
3 things women can never have enough of (In no particular order);

Shoes
Handbags
Diamond Jewelry

Of course it's usually much safer to let her pick them out.

:uhoh:

Solid Rust Twotter
29th Nov 2004, 19:41
That new angle grinder you've always lusted after. Look a treat in your shed....:E :ok:

flowman
29th Nov 2004, 19:42
How about a nice new battery for her car or a set of winter tyres. She's bound to appreciate your concern for her well being and safety.:ouch:

tall and tasty
29th Nov 2004, 19:45
Treat her to something that will give her the most amazing memories as well as enjoying the time with you

How about a weekend in a spar
A weekend away in a romantic city and then can go shopping try St Petersburg/Prague/Geneve/Ligano

or just the fail safe dress/shoes etc

but personally the memories will last forever

TnT

:ok:

Ozzy
29th Nov 2004, 19:49
How about a weekend in a spar I'm thinking a weekend in Tesco's would be a little more generous. Or an afternoon in a Jimmy Choo's....:E

Ozzy

TURIN
29th Nov 2004, 20:34
Oh, Jeeezus, it's my better half's birthday on Thursday and I haven't got a present yet!!!:uhoh:

Keep the ideas coming pleeeeeese.:ouch:

Icryalot
29th Nov 2004, 20:50
Had a friend that gave his wife a tank day out where she squashed cars

absolutely loved it

xxxxx

A10 Thundybox
30th Nov 2004, 02:15
I want one of these for christmas, weeeeeeeeeee, I love that turbine sound!

http://www.vario-helicopter.co.uk/videos.html :}

scroll down and look at the Hughes 500 turbine link

MadsDad
30th Nov 2004, 08:49
Last weekend, while MadsMum and me were visiting my mum, sat in lounge and MadsMum says "Oh, by the way. I don't want any more pottery this year. Or glass. Or jewelery. Or smelly stuff".

Oh sh*t, there goes the entire pressie list. So talking to mum later and bemoaning my fate mum says "Why don't you get her a new handbag" and recommends a good handbeg shop.

Sorted!!!!

Two days later MadsMum gets home from work and shows me the two new handbags she has bought that lunchtime.

(Anyone seen my drawing board. I need to get back to it).

redsnail
30th Nov 2004, 17:53
MadsDad,
MadsMum'll need new shoes to go with the new bags.
Failing that, what about a 1 day or 1/2 day pampering at the local Beauty shop. (you know, full body wrap, facial etc). :)

Capn Notarious
30th Nov 2004, 22:36
Whatever a chap purchases for someone else: is bound to be wrong. So the shed is a good place of refuge.
Double glazing heated, powered, and a ready supply of teabags etc.

allan907
1st Dec 2004, 15:37
Help. Got to do a speech for the troops on Friday at 5pm (West Australian time) and, apart from the usual stirring encouragement to better efforts and thanks for the previous years stint, I need to build the thing around a funny.

Any ideas with a festive flavour??

gingernut
1st Dec 2004, 16:27
have you told them your pantomine joke ?

4PON4PIN
1st Dec 2004, 16:32
I'll getcha started..

Four old-timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round.

His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet here early Christmas morning."

Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course.

The first guy says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife such a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it."

Number 2 guy says, "I spent a ton, too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures."

Number 3 guy says "Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual."

They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them like they have lost their minds.

"I can't believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the butt and said, 'Well babe, Merry Christmas ! it's a great morning for sex or golf ' ........ and she said, "Take a sweater..." :D

Cowbell
1st Dec 2004, 16:32
Military Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the skies,
Air defenses were up, with electronic eyes.
Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds,
As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads.

Every jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube,
Was triply-redundant, linked to the Blue Cube,
And ELINT and AWACS gave coverage so dense
That nothing that flew could slip through our defense.

When out of the klaxon arose such a clatter
I dashed to the screen to see what was the matter;
I increased the gain and then, quick as a flash,
Fine-adjusted the filters to damp out the hash.

And there found the source of the warning we'd heeded:
An incoming blip, by eight escorts preceded.
"Alert status red!" went the word down the wire,
As we gave every system the codes that meant "FIRE!"

On Aegis! Up Patriot, Phalanx and Hawk,
vAnd scramble our fighters--let's send the whole flock.
Launch decoys and missiles, use chaff by the yard!
Get the kitchen sink up! Call the National Guard!

They turned toward the target, moved toward it, converged.
Till the tracks on the radar all finally merged,
And the sky was lit up with a demonic light,
As the foe met his fate in the high arctic night.

So we sent out some recon to look for debris,
Yet all that they found, both on land and on sea
Were some toys, a red hat, a charred left leather boot,
Broken sleigh bells, white hair, and a deer's parachute.

Now it isn't quite Christmas, with Saint Nick shot down.
There are unhappy kids in each village and town.
For the Spirit of Christmas can't hope to evade
All the web of defenses we've carefully made.

But a crash program's on: Working hard, night and day,
All the elves are constructing a radar-proof sleigh.

So let's wait for next Christmas, in cheer and in health,
For the future has hope: Santa's coming by stealth!

Military traditions
Top Holiday Traditions In The Military

9. Gluing Santa beard to your gas mask

8. Roasting chestnuts with an M4-A3 flamethrower

7. Draw up list of who\'s naughty, who\'s nice and who can\'t run their 2 miles without wheezing like an infant

6. Christmas morning, getting to sleep in till 0530

5. You open a gift and surprise! It\'s a khaki-colored t-shirt

4. Extra R&R for any personnel named Donner or Blitzen

3. There\'s always plenty of parking at the mall when you\'re driving a tank

2. Watching "Frosty" and crying my eyes out

1. Freeze-dried, shelf-stable, vacuum-sealed eggnog

Jerricho
1st Dec 2004, 16:59
Not happy folks.

I've just heard Jessica "Thick as pig-sh*t" Simpson absolutely butcher one of my favorite christmas carols.

:( :mad: :yuk:

Biggles Flies Undone
1st Dec 2004, 17:13
Two snowmen in a field. One says to the other "Can you smell carrots?"

Gareth Blackstock
6th Dec 2004, 20:59
Well its that time of year again isn't it?

The question of why springs to mind!! I was on my way home today and as I was turning into where I live I was amazed to see this on the front, sides, tops and just about everywhere on these 2 houses (yes thats right, there are 2 houses here!!). I know some people decorate the outside of their houses and I don't really have issues with that at all, but this, WHY?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v197/REFLAGG/OTHER/P5010001.jpg

Excuse the quality of the picture, it is dark and the orange glow is the street lights - I think!!!!

If anyone else spots really tacky things like this then let have a look!!

Gaz

tall and tasty
6th Dec 2004, 21:03
Gaz

Brilliant picture we have a few like that near us. I don't object to it but I think it may be done with a little more taste.

I prefer subtle simplicity when it comes to decoration with a mixture of German/Swiss/Austrian and English influences.

TnT

AeroSpark
6th Dec 2004, 21:37
There is a street on the outskirts of Southampton where virtually every house is decorated. Not sure how it started but it has become a tradition. Every night from when they switch on people will visit the area to see the lights, and in return for the display the householders have collections which are then donated to charity:ok: Merry Christmas

airship
6th Dec 2004, 22:44
Gaz, are you sure that's a normal house and not the Red Star Chinese takeaway?! :) The lights on the RH corner of the roof resemble Mandarin characters...

PS. Two snowmen in a field. One says to the other "Is it day yet?" The other replies "Nah, the night's as black as coal."

OK, I'll get me coat but may I order a no. 13 first please...;)

Marian
7th Dec 2004, 02:47
Got home this evening to find my first Christmas cards amongst the usual bills & stuff. ‘how nice’ I thought, coz I love getting cards, I really do appreciate the fact that someone somewhere thinks of me kindly enough to wish me well in writing. It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside (though of course that might have been the red wine). The first card was from an old friend I haven’t seen for a while, his witty greeting made me smile and remember the good times we spent together, it made me feel good. The next card was from my flying club. The envelope was addressed with a printed label with my name spelled wrongly - a pet hate of mine and something that I have asked (nicely) my instructor to correct on several occasions. The card had a pretty picture of an aeroplane and inside there was a printed standard “merry Christmas and happy new year from the staff..” greeting. The card did not bear my name, and neither was it signed by anyone, not even my instructor. Very impersonal.

I didn’t expect a card from my flying club, but having received one it does not make me feel good to be reminded that as a business customer (I have spent thousands this year on flying lessons) I don’t rate the courtesy of my name being spelled correctly, and as an individual who turns up regularly for lessons, supports club events and is pleasant and friendly to everyone - I don’t rate the personalisation of a signature.

I don’t know why they bothered. It feels like the club has gone through an administrative chore in sending these cards out, a bit like paying the VAT or something. It certainly does not feel like a greeting that has any warmth behind it. As my old Dad used to say “say it like you mean it or don’t say it all”

Am I being over sensitive?

Bidgee
7th Dec 2004, 02:58
Am I being over sensitive?

Yep.

Marian
7th Dec 2004, 03:18
Ah Bidgee, you are probably right, I am a sensitive soul. I do so prefer to be treated like an individual.

But what are your thoughts on sending Christmas cards? do you think anyone should bother? and why/ why not?

flybhx
7th Dec 2004, 06:11
Marian,

I'm probably not alone but "bah humbug"

I've never really seen the point in sending cards to obscure members of family etc that I've never met and who automatically just send cards from a list.

Christmas is a figment of my fevered imagination :yuk:

AerBabe
7th Dec 2004, 08:42
Christmas cards have their uses. They're great for keeping in touch with friends or family you rarely see; a way to say you are thinking of someone. However, what's the point of giving them to your nearest and dearest? I see my other half every evening after work ... do I really need to give him a card to send him the wishes that I tell him in person?

Bidgee
7th Dec 2004, 08:46
Marian,

I do send christmas cards, but only to close friends that I don't see often and to close family that don't live near by. Friends that I see relatively often, I tend to drop in and have a cold beer. It is mid summer here, and we often get 40 degrees on 25 Dec.

I understand your frustration with the card from your flying school and the situation with the spelling, but, I wonder if you would have been so concerned if they did not send a card at all.

Don't worry about it !!!
Get on with life and best of luck with your flying. I know how intense it can get.

Bidgee

hoss
9th Dec 2004, 11:23
Ok, how did they come up with this date?

I don't think the Holy Bible gives an actual date. I recall reading somewhere earlier that it could be an important date on the Pagan calender and would like more info.

I would really appreciate any theories or fact on this subject and the history of this DATE not the event.

:)

teeteringhead
9th Dec 2004, 11:45
Early Christians highjacked a number of extant festivals - and most religions have a "just past the solstice" celebration.

As to why it's not 21st or 22nd, maybe by the 25th there was a sufficent change to notice that it was indeed getting lighter again. So "rebirth of the light" easily translates to "birth of the Light of the World".

Subsequently 25th also acquired a secular status as a "quarter day" when rents became due.

Also possible involvement of a shift due to Julian/Gregorian calendar changes???

How's that for starters.......

keithl
9th Dec 2004, 11:47
There will be other, more learned replies but - just before I go in the sim - I've always understood that it's the Winter Solstice. Pagan festival adopted for Christianity, just as Oestre (new life/Spring) was turned into Easter.

takenthe5thamendment
9th Dec 2004, 12:06
A certain Prooner, with whom I'm spending this weekend with, has just sent me the following -

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v119/TAKENTHE5THAMENDMENT/cardsmall.jpg



:rolleyes: :D

Teroc
9th Dec 2004, 12:18
Found this on the web when I should have been working. Merry Christmas Fellow Ppruners.



'Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp,
Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Champ.
The aircraft were fastened to tiedowns with care,
In hopes that come morning, they all would be there.

The fuel trucks were nestled, all snug in their spots,
With gusts from two-forty at 39 knots.
I slumped at the fuel desk, now finally caught up,
And settled down comfortably, resting my butt.

When the radio lit up with noise and with chatter,
I turned up the scanner to see what was the matter.
A voice clearly heard over static and snow,
Called for clearance to land at the airport below.

He barked his transmission so lively and quick,
I'd have sworn that the call sign he used was "St. Nick".
I ran to the panel to turn up the lights,
The better to welcome this magical flight.

He called his position, no room for denial,
"St. Nicholas One, turnin' left onto final."
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Rutan-built sleigh, with eight Rotax Reindeer!

With vectors to final, down the glideslope he came,
As he passed all fixes, he called them by name:
"Now Ringo! Now Tolga! Now Trini and Bacun!
On Comet! On Cupid!" What pills was he takin'?

While controllers were sittin', and scratchin' their head,
They phoned to my office, and I heard it with dread,
The message they left was both urgent and dour:
"When Santa pulls in, have him please call the tower."

He landed like silk, with the sled runners sparking,
Then I heard "Left at Charlie," and "Taxi to parking."
He slowed to a taxi, turned off of three-oh
And stopped on the ramp with a "Ho, ho-ho-ho..."

He stepped out of the sleigh, but before he could talk,
I ran out to meet him with my best set of chocks.
His red helmet and goggles were covered with frost
And his beard was all blackened from Reindeer exhaust.

His breath smelled like peppermint, gone slightly stale,
And he puffed on a pipe, but he didn't inhale.
His cheeks were all rosy and jiggled like jelly,
His boots were as black as a cropduster's belly.

He was chubby and plump, in his suit of bright red,
And he asked me to "fill it, with hundred low-lead."
He came dashing in from the snow-covered pump,
I knew he was anxious for drainin' the sump.

I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
And I filled up the sleigh, but I spilled like a jerk.
He came out of the restroom, and sighed in relief,
Then he picked up a phone for a Flight Service brief.

And I thought as he silently scribed in his log,
These reindeer could land in an eighth-mile fog.
He completed his pre-flight, from the front to the rear,
Then he put on his headset, and I heard him yell, "Clear!"

And laying a finger on his push-to-talk,
He called up the tower for clearance and squawk.
"Take taxiway Charlie, the southbound direction,
Turn right three-two-zero at pilot's discretion"

He sped down the runway, the best of the best,
"Your traffic's a Grumman, inbound from the west."
Then I heard him proclaim, as he climbed thru the night,
"Merry Christmas to all! I have traffic in sight."
:ok: :ok: :D

BRL
9th Dec 2004, 12:32
Click Me (http://norman.walsh.name/2003/12/26/scaled/cracker.jpg) :ok:

Merry Christmas....... :)

whiz
9th Dec 2004, 12:35
You been on the Christmas spirit a little early BRL ?? :D

IFTB
9th Dec 2004, 12:39
Right BRL you claimed youir first victim. I thought something did not work until I thought a bit about the title of your post!:{ :{ :ugh:

tall and tasty
9th Dec 2004, 12:41
I fell for it hook line and sinker :D

Made me laugh though thanks :p especially as work is busy!

Merry Christmas

TnT

timmcat
9th Dec 2004, 12:44
Hands up the dumbass trying to read the writing on the cracker to get the joke...:cool:

That'll be me then.

IFTB
9th Dec 2004, 12:57
Yep, did that as well! :{

Daysleeper
9th Dec 2004, 13:00
One for the lads, a top picture of Jordan (http://www.lonelyplanet.com/mapshells/middle_east/jordan/jordan.htm) :ok:

gas path
9th Dec 2004, 13:01
Damn and blast ...............fell for it too:rolleyes:

timmcat
9th Dec 2004, 13:45
Hey, even mods threads get merged!

flapsforty
9th Dec 2004, 13:50
Timm, we're a ruthless bunch, especially where Xmas is concerned. :E

BRL
9th Dec 2004, 14:25
yea I just noticed it has been merged...... Bah Humbug and all that.... :p

MadsDad
9th Dec 2004, 14:56
By the rivers of Babylon????

Eiditted to say.

That merge happened while I was posting. The Pprune version of 'coitus interuptus' I suspect.

Earl
9th Dec 2004, 16:21
Thanks Teroc,
We enjoyed reading this.
Thanks from all of us here in Saudi Arabia
Merry Christmas.

eal401
9th Dec 2004, 16:56
Excellent post, I like it!

:ok:

Llademos
10th Dec 2004, 08:13
http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-1163465,00.html

[/rant on/]

Absolute clap trap, I say. I wonder if the idiots who decided on these ridiculous bansactually asked the people they thought would be offended? I'd bet serious money the answer is 'no'. I don't object to Eid or Passover so why on earth should they be offended with Christmas?

[/rant off/]

eal401
10th Dec 2004, 08:37
Allowing for tabloid "blown-out-of-proportionness" I have two things to say.

1) Would these jobsworth busybodies go to Saudi (for example) and expect them to say to their population "Please don't observe Ramadan or celebrate Eid as we don't want to offend the expats in Riyadh?" Better yet, have them go and suggest it, might eliminate some of the PC fools.

2) Christmas has been observed in this country for centuries. Anyone who has a problem with that may leave from the nearest airport.


Of course, the vast majority of the supposedly offended ethnic groups think such PC stuff is as stupid as we do.

I'd be very happy to ask any individual who does promote "non-Christmas" behaviour what level of enjoyment they get from recruiting for the BNP as that is what they are doing very effectively.

Grainger
10th Dec 2004, 08:43
Absolute PC b*llocks.

Now this is more like the true spirit of Christmas:

Festive Fisticuffs: Brawling Santas Arrested (http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-13263057,00.html) :ouch:

BlueDiamond
10th Dec 2004, 08:44
It is time we put a stop to this absolute insanity. Christianity is a legitimate religion and Christians celebrate, amongst other things, Christmas. I do not notice folk of other religious persuasions cancelling their own festivals and do not see that it is in any way reasonable for Christians to do so.

Jewish folk do not seem to be in any panic to cancel Passover, we do not see Muslims rushing to do away with Ramadan (please excuse me if these are not good examples) in case someone else doesn't like it. People of other religious persuasions should not be put in the position of being blamed for this nonsense. All it does is promote antagonism towards those we imagine to be offended. Note; it is WE who have decided that they will be offended. Has anyone ever bothered to ask?

Don't mention the war, anyone. :rolleyes:

eal401
10th Dec 2004, 08:47
Has anyone ever bothered to ask?

No, BD.

Resulting in Muslim people going "what a bunch of w*nkers you are." Or words to that effect! ;)

Llademos
10th Dec 2004, 08:59
Some 4,200 people dressed as Father Christmas gathered in a small Welsh town for a charity festive fun run

I seriously fear for the sanity of whoever thought this up in the first place!

BTW, if there are any Muslims/Jews/ etc out there, what's your view? I'd be a bit pi55ed off being patronised to like this!

foxile
10th Dec 2004, 09:38
I think unless we as a nation do something to deal with this PC oversensitive minority in positions of power they are going to create far worse problems which would not otherwise occur in the future.

My home town is very multi cultural and sees large celebrations of both Eid and Diwali and I am thankful to say, still Xmas. I have not got a problem with that and from what I see nor do the vast majority of the population who take an interest not offence in each others beliefs and celebrations.

If we tone down Xmas to avoid offending non Christians should we be doing the same with the two other major festivals?

No toning down of anything is required. From my experience the vast majority of people from differing faiths have no problems with others' celebrations.... yet. Leave it to this PC minority and maybe division and resentment will develop.

Lets stop being so British and reserved and do something to remove these from idiots from their postions of power before it is too late.

Just my humble opinion.....

BN2A
11th Dec 2004, 18:09
Can any prooners provide the text and/or link for the essay that proves Santa can't possibly complete his task due to vast distances travelled over 24 hours, acceleration of sled in order to stop at each chimney, time eating mince pies and drinking sherry at each fireplace, etc etc etc????

Need it to convince t'other half that it can't really be done....

:\

419
11th Dec 2004, 18:21
This might be the one you're after

Santa time (http://www.pbbt.com/Directory/Jokes/901.html)

BN2A
11th Dec 2004, 18:42
That's it!!!

Cheers.

:)
:ok:

Grandpa
11th Dec 2004, 20:46
Sorry Grandpa, your post is absolutely not acceptable on this thread.
No way.
No how.
flapsforty

http://www.weihnachtsarchiv.de/weihnachtslinien/weinachtslinie013.gif

yintsinmerite
14th Dec 2004, 09:33
Driving along last night, I suddenly became aware of just how many houses there are with ugly christmas lights outside. I don't mean a string of festive white lights, but full on animated sleighs, inflateable santa's, Homer Simpsons and Power Rangers. Maybe I am turning into a humbug, but quite frankly, these things look as ugly as a double bagger on a bad hair day and as far as can see, speak volumes about the IQ's lurking within,

Am I alone in these thoughts or does anyone agree ?

BlueDiamond
14th Dec 2004, 09:41
There's a Clark Griswald in every suburb!

;)

GolfWhiskeyKilo
14th Dec 2004, 09:41
I'm with you on this one. A few tasteful ones looks great, but all these animated things are awful!

Evening Star
14th Dec 2004, 09:47
Called 'houseblinging' apparently. Ah, the tastelessness of the lower orders!

Story going around about one family in Newcastle two years ago who hooked up their display to the street lighting for free electricity and got their day in court.

eal401
14th Dec 2004, 09:52
Outdoor lighting seems to have gone massively OTT this year. Masses for santas climbing ladders, hanging off gutters, flashing stars, trains etc. etc. The electricity companies are going to be coining it this Christmas!

Mr C Hinecap
14th Dec 2004, 10:13
You asked for it.......

Nasty Lights here (http://www.uglychristmaslights.com/)

Sorry for all those that value Christmas as a spiritual time. This kicks that right in the parts!

Flytest
14th Dec 2004, 10:20
You bunch of miserable gits.. its for the children!! :p (So my mates tell me!!)

Ace Rimmer
14th Dec 2004, 10:26
Round the corner from Castle Rimmer theres a street where evry house does the full Griswald. Folks come from all over to have a gawp. Mind you they did raise something like £9,500 for the local hospice last year...:ok:

Windy Militant
14th Dec 2004, 11:34
Mind you they did raise something like £9,500 for the local hospice last year...

Which will probably have to close in a couple of years time due to the flooding caused by the rise in sea level due to global warming because of all the extra energy being used to power all these tasteless displays to crass comercialism which unfortunately seems to have become the true spirt of Christmas these days.

Bah Humbug!

Oh and just to show that all's fair in the world of commerce I heard an item on the radio the other day bemoaning the fact that Diwali was now catching up with Christmas in the commercialisation stakes. Darling Margret must be so proud with the legacy she's left us. :mad: :mad: :mad:

MadsDad
14th Dec 2004, 11:37
On our ewstate it looks as if it might be becoming complsory. One of the houses is as bad as anything on Mr. Hinecap's list. And it's over the fence from me.

(What really annoys me is the people responsible sit inside in the relative gloom with the curtains shut not having to look at the appaling outside of their houses). :(

Humbugs, doncha just love 'em. :ok:

witchdoctor
16th Dec 2004, 13:00
Little piece on the news in these parts last night about a poison pen letter being sent to the occupiers of houses with external light displays. Fairly amusing, accusing the owners of being 'common' and other such insults, and that as the owners of detached properties they ought to know better. British snobbery at its best.:}

Quite like outside lights myself, but some people just don't know when to stop. What do the assembled innefectuals (sorry, intellectuals) think?

Jerricho
16th Dec 2004, 13:37
Some lights can be very tastefully done.

Most of the ones around where I live won't be described as this. I especially like the houses with the fluro-blue lights. Kinda makes me think of "Pimp my house"...................

Feeton Terrafirma
16th Dec 2004, 13:52
The town I live in has a competition each year for the best display and some people really take it seriously. Its common here to go for a walk in the last few days before xmas to check out all the lights.

Davaar
16th Dec 2004, 13:57
Feeton, I fear you fail the snobbery test right here:
_____________________________
Its common here to go for a walk in the last few days before xmas to check out all the lights.
_____________________________

We don't want this common stuiff, do we?

Ozzy
16th Dec 2004, 14:17
[fecking rant/ON]
Over this side of the pond the PC (that's not personal computer btw) brigade have managed to get it such that the standard "greeting" appears to be "Happy Holidays". Macy's has in fact made it a reprimandable offence for its employees to wish customers a Merry Christmas.

Everywhere I go it's fecking Happy Holidays. Well, what holiday are we celebrating??? It's not Hanukkah cos folks say Happy Hannukah; it's not Kwanza as we also get the Happy Kwanza - both these greetings appear in stores, on signs, in the press etc. So the happy holiday we are celebrating is Christmas, so why not Happy Christmas or Merry Christmas??
[fecking rant/OFF]

Ozzy

BlueDiamond
16th Dec 2004, 14:25
Couldn't agree more, Ozzy. Happy holiday my **** :*

airship
16th Dec 2004, 14:29
Well, here in France, a lot of people will merely be wishing each other a Bon weekend! The 25th falls on a Saturday, public holidays that fall on a weekend are not usually carried over to the next working day here so the Monday will be a normal working day. Betcha didn't know that...?! ;)

GolfWhiskeyKilo
16th Dec 2004, 14:30
Dont you just hate the PC Brigade? Didnt we have somthing over in the UK last year about what was allowed on Christmas Cards or somthing? Dont remember the details someone may be able to fill the gaps for me :O

WK

Flip Flop Flyer
16th Dec 2004, 14:33
I've just signed a bunch of greeting cards to be sent around the world to business partners and wotnots. They all say "Merry Christmas" - in several languages.

PC - my arse!

GolfWhiskeyKilo
16th Dec 2004, 14:34
I saw a similar news article this morning about a person they're calling the "house doctor" sending letters to people. I agree some lights are really nicely done and make the place really festive.

A friend of mine lives in a cul-de-sac where one household has a mass collection of 'blow up dolls' (you know what I mean - santas and snowmen etc ;) ) with all sorts of different coloured lights.

Maybe its to stop people sleeping, its like daylight walking past their garden at midnight!

Ah well, each to their own maybe, whatever makes them enjoy their festive period!

WK

Paris Dakar
16th Dec 2004, 14:37
Ozzy,

I'm with you 100% on this.

I am employed by the Government here in blighty and we must refer to the following:

Christmas = Festive Season

Christmas Holidays = Festive Holidays

Christmas Party = Festive Gathering

Christmas Salary Advance = Holiday Advance

Everybody is tripping over themselves to be so PC - where will it all end.

PD

airship
16th Dec 2004, 14:38
All I can say is "thank goodness all the neighbours weren't into Christmas lighting 2,000 years ago"! Otherwise, us wiser men wouldn't have been able to follow the star in the sky...:(

GolfWhiskeyKilo
16th Dec 2004, 14:39
Its completely insane! What is the world coming to :{

Grainger
16th Dec 2004, 14:41
Seems like we've got a new form of bah humbug - now we can honk people off by wishing them a Merry Christmas !!!

So - to the PC brigade:

"Ahhh, get out of it, you feckers - and Merry Christmas to the lot of yers !!!"

Grainger
16th Dec 2004, 14:43
Hey - you could always set this lot onto 'em:

Campaign For Dark Skies (http://www.dark-skies.org/)

Jerricho
16th Dec 2004, 14:45
Indeed!

What next? You won't be able to say "Happy New Year!" cause of different calanders used around the world. Bollix to it I say!


Christmas Party = Festive Gathering

Oh it's a feckin' Christmas Party I tells you. I have gatherings during the year. Christmas parties are a totally different ball game! Bring on that mistletoe!!!!!! :E

airship
16th Dec 2004, 14:46
Yes, I vote for the dark side, uhmm dark skies, too! :)

eal401
16th Dec 2004, 14:50
Macy's has in fact made it a reprimandable offence for its employees to wish customers a Merry Christmas.
So Macy's practice religious discrimination against Christians? What a nice company.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!

bear11
16th Dec 2004, 15:00
It's actually worse than that. Friends work in Intel here in Ireland - others groups are positively encouraged to celebrate their ethnic holidays, eg; recently for the Indian festival of Diwali they were encouraged to dress up for the day, whereas Christmas is banned - Happy Holidays, Missing you already me Bo**ix. The Budweiser "Happy Holidays" ads currently on TV really chap my ass, to use an appropriate phrase. I never get upset if someone wishes me a Happy Diwali, Hannukah, or whatever, and love to see anyone celebrate anything and am always curious enough to be educated as to what it's for.

AerBabe
16th Dec 2004, 15:07
Driving through the lanes of Essex yesterday morning, through some lovely little hamlets, my colleague and I spotted a giant inflatable Homer 'santa' climbing up a circa C18 cottage. :yuk:

However, I do think that lights of one colour draped tastefully over a tree can look lovely.

Dop
16th Dec 2004, 15:12
With houses like this (http://www.dop.btinternet.co.uk/illuminations.jpg), the council may as well put the street lights out on that street from December to January. The house lights up the street more than the streetlamps do!

eal401
16th Dec 2004, 15:14
I don't mind some outdoor lights, but the example as shown by Dop shows just how NOT to do it!!

GolfWhiskeyKilo
16th Dec 2004, 15:16
Some people have far too much free time....:p

Jerricho
16th Dec 2004, 15:18
And money............... Some of the electricity bills must be horrendous.

(And taste in their *ss)

foxile
16th Dec 2004, 15:18
So the PC clan call it a festivity.

Begs the question, as they still (at this time) acknowledge there is some form of festivity going on, what exactly is it??

It's CHRISTMAS!!!!

Therefore MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL!!!!!!

Foxile

GolfWhiskeyKilo
16th Dec 2004, 15:19
True, makes me sound like a bit of a scrouge but I can think of far better things to spend money on!

I do like Christmas really, just I think people take it way OTT!

WK

airship
16th Dec 2004, 15:22
I vas not informed of zis inflatable Homer Santa. Heads vill be rolling in airship headqwaterz! Alzo, ze lightz of any colour on ze treez around here vill continue to dim zometimes during ze koming festivitiz. Zankfully, Helga does not need any adörnmentz und ve haf Rene'z private room booked for our Xmaz dinner. :E

GroundGirl
16th Dec 2004, 15:26
Lights of one colour on a tree are :ok: by me. Where I live the have Bright blue lights in the trees. This may sound a tad weird but it does actually look lovely! It makes you squint a bit the first time that you look at them as they appear to be all out of focus!! Then again, maybe that is due to the amount of alcohol:E :E

phnuff
16th Dec 2004, 16:22
I agree, a few strands of single colour lights look very good, but when they come to animated santa's and inflatable Homer's etc, it too ugly for words

Big Tudor
16th Dec 2004, 16:36
On the weekly stagger back from the local hostelry one was confronted by the mother and father of all decorated houses. Red flashing lights marked every corner of the house (including the chimney stack). Santa on his sleigh across the roof (approx 8 ft long). A whole host of illuminated inflatables in the front garden. Icicles hanging from every eave. Flashing (sic) snowmen and snowflakes on the front. But the crowning glory was a 6ft illuminated sign on the roof "You'll Never Walk Alone"

Not one of your relatives is it BRL ? ;)

GolfWhiskeyKilo
16th Dec 2004, 16:40
You couldn't get us a picture of this feast for the eyes could you? Would provide much amusment on the more miserable days...

:D

WK

Big Tudor
16th Dec 2004, 16:43
Tried getting a piccy last night GWK , unfortunately I am no David Bailey. Pics either came out to dark to see what was there or so bright they glow in the dark!

GolfWhiskeyKilo
16th Dec 2004, 16:53
LOL Damn aww well :(

WK

Lon More
17th Dec 2004, 09:22
On the news this morning some Italian schools are banning any display of Christmas that might annoy religious minorities.
I guess they wouldn't like this then

http://www.illwillpress.com/xmess.html

Merry Christmasand a Happy New Year to all Ppruners, especially those who have to work through the holidays

tall and tasty
17th Dec 2004, 09:26
Lon More

Doesn't surprise we have a nursery near us that is not doing a nativity play because of one child from a religious minority.

Very sad for the others I think! :sad:

TnT

Evanelpus
17th Dec 2004, 09:39
Tall and Tasty

That really sets my hackles on end. For Christs sake, we live in the UK, not India, Pakistan or any other stan you can think of. I'm not a racist, each to their own and live and let live is my motto.

I am seriously considering the 'alternative' polital parties for the next general election.

Rant over, having a bad Friday, throat is killing me etc etc ......

GolfWhiskeyKilo
17th Dec 2004, 10:00
What a nightmare, it just gets worse. If we in the UK tried to stop ethnic minority groups celebrating their version of festivities there'd be hell on.

I'm not racist either but this is just stupid. What on earth are they trying to achieve by doing this, other than further oppression by the government. If this goes back to being a member of the EU well lets get out!

Gets worse year on year, wouldn't like to imagine what its going to be like in 10 years time!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

WK

DuckDodgers
17th Dec 2004, 10:07
Now in its 50th Glorious Year, keep the kids entertained with this tale of Santa's trip delivering goods around the globe:

http://www.noradsanta.org/

Merry Christmas to one and all & the best of wishes for 2005!

tall and tasty
17th Dec 2004, 10:09
Totally agree with all you guys

I went to a school with girls from around the world. We all lived in harmony at Christmas swapped tales of how our families celebrated each festival and loved it.

It broadens children's minds and makes them realize there are others out there who celebrate different religious events

TnT

Jerricho
17th Dec 2004, 10:11
This link (http://www.yayacanada.com/samdiary17.html) was sent to me by a friend. Have a look at the picture at the bottom. I found it a little interesting.

flower
17th Dec 2004, 10:47
Very said that the PC mob seem to run the councils these days.
I really enjoy the whole Christmas festivity , likewise I enjoy all the fun that is Diwali when ever I am around that festival.
I doubt for one moment those of other religions are in the least bit offended by this Nation, which after all is a Christian nation, celebrating Christmas, infact I am sure if I was deeply religious I would be truly offended by a group preventing others from celebrating their religious festivals, what ever there Faith may be.

Well a Merry Christmas to all and hope you all have a wonderful new year
:)

BombayDuck
17th Dec 2004, 10:56
Oye Evanelpus !

we live in the UK, not India

quit throwin' around bait, will ya! :)

You should really come over to Bombay at Christmas time. I'll take you to Bandra, and then we can talk about the above quote!

We have a few million Christians/Catholics too, and the rest of us enjoy Christmas with them too....

So happy Christmas to one and all at Proon....

Evanelpus
17th Dec 2004, 11:01
Hi BBDuck

No offence meant matey, wouldn't want to spend Christmas anywhere other than at home with family and friends.

I'm sure you'll have a blast in ndia, in fact, wherever prooners live.

I heard the other day that you were not allowed to video your kids Christmas Concerts anymore. This is all down to potential paedo activities....the world really has gone PC crackers!!

Wherever you are, or wherever you spend Christmas, have a good one.

tall and tasty
17th Dec 2004, 11:04
Evanelpus

I heard the other day that you were not allowed to video your kids Christmas Concerts anymore. This is all down to potential paedo activities....the world really has gone PC crackers!!

Happens at my kids school and you have to buy the video recording they sell to raise funs for thes school. But what happens to the original of that.

It takes the magic out of the whole thing and then you are not allowed to keep your own special memories!

We live in a very sad society today

TnT

Gainesy
17th Dec 2004, 11:13
NORAD Tracks Santa!

You'd think that after 50 years they could nail him.
Have they run out of SAMs or what?:E

candoo
17th Dec 2004, 11:14
When purchasing the Christmas tree last weekend at B&Q was struck by how multi-cultural the other purchasers were. I do not believe for one minute they were all of the Christian faith.

I don't think other religions are offended, they seem to love it, it's a festive holiday and a time of celebration for all. I'm an atheist but I can sing a carol with the best of them.

Once again the voice of the few dictates to the media what they believe the vast majority of the general public thinks but is so far from reality to be laughable.

Mr Chips
17th Dec 2004, 12:45
This time last year I travelled through Dubai en route to Oz. Xmas decorations in the terminal. Year before I was in (Buddhist) Thailand... Xmas trees and decorations... everywhere except Christian England it would appear.....

sky9
19th Dec 2004, 13:37
This is doing the rounds as an email. Original source unknown; but it made me laugh.



Mon Dec 1st 2003


FROM: Melanie Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
RE: Christmas Party.

I'm happy to inform you that the Company Christmas Party will take place on Tuesday

December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House.
Table wine will be provided by the Company and there will be a bar for any further

drinks you may wish to buy.



We'll have a small band playing traditional carols......feel free to sing along.
And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!


A Christmas tree will be lit at 1 :00 pm.

Exchanging of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should

be over £5 to make it easy on everyone's pockets.



Our CEO will propose a Christmas toast, and also has a special announcement to

make at the party!



There will be a raffle in aid of charity; let me know which cause or

causes you would like to support.


Merry Christmas to you and your family.


Mel.


##########################################################


Tue Dec 2nd 2003


FROM: Melanie Lewis,

Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. I

apologise if any offence was taken as none was intended.

We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with

Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.


However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies

to any other employees who are not Christians or to those who are still celebrating

Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree at the party, and no Christmas

Carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment, and the

CEO will appear in his regular clothes.

Happy Holidays to you and your family,


Mel

############################################################ ###########


Fri Dec 5th 2003



FROM: Melanie Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
RE: Holiday Party



Another issue has arisen..........Union representatives feel that £5 is too much money

for gifts, whereas executives have suggested that it is a little mean.
Therefore GIFTS WILL NOT BE EXCHANGED AT THE PARTY.



Please also note that in accordance with several requests, the function room will be

declared a no smoking zone.





Regards from Mel.




############################################################ ########


Tue Dec 9th 2003



FROM: Melanie Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim

Holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.



We can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate
our Muslim employees' beliefs. I will see if the Grill House can hold off serving

your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything for you to take home

in foil doggy bags. Will that work?


Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the

dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the Gay men,

each group will be allocated their own table.
Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking

permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed though.
Yes we will have cushions for short people, and I have personally checked on behalf

of tall people that the private function room at the Grill Bar does not have low ceilings

or pendant light fittings. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

There will be fresh fruit as dessert for Diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply

"no sugar" desserts.

Sorry we cannot control the salt used in the food; we suggest those people with high

blood pressure should eat very small portions. I have also been contacted by

employees with wheat, dairy and other allergies......you are advised to consult the

notice board in reception where a copy of the menu has been posted. We hope you

will find something to suit, if not just come and soak up the atmosphere while your

colleagues eat their meals!





Mel.


############################################################ #########





Fri Dec 12th 2003



FROM: Melanie Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
RE: Holiday Party




I am sorry that I have not replied to e-mails or answered the phone in the

last couple of days................... I have been rather busy.



I must insist that if you have a specific request regarding the forthcoming Holiday

Party, you put it in writing and send it through internal mail, rather than coming to find

me and discuss it while I am eating my lunch in the canteen, or as happened last night,

waiting for me at 6.30pm in the car park. (I missed my daughter's school play as

a result).



I am also sorry to disappoint the numerous male members of staff who have

requested I seat them next to a certain young lady from the typing pool;

she will be sitting next to the CEO.



I am however, happy to confirm that although the function room is upstairs, there is

a lift for the convenience of those who do not DO stairs.



Mel.



############################################################ ##########



Mon Dec 15th



FROM: Melanie Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
RE: Holiday Party



Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name.
I could accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table
that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous any more. How am I
supposed to handle this? Somebody?



I have received only a few (genuine) suggestions regarding good causes to

which you would like the proceeds of the raffle money donated.



The cause that gained the most suggestions was to pay for accommodation

and food at a hostel over the holiday period for Charlie, the homeless gentleman who

sleeps under our bin shelter on most nights.



Other suggestions put forward were: the RSPCA, Oxfam, The Sanctuary for Injured

Owls, the Gay and Lesbian Rights Society, two different 'Save Our Village School'

campaigns and a local Battered Wives Refuge.

(Is there a Refuge for Battered Human Resources Directors?!!)



However, I am sorry to inform you that a decision has been taken to cancel the raffle.

Members of the Christian Union Group have objected to raffles in principle,

on the grounds that they are a form of gambling.



I don't know if I'm going crazy, but personally, I will be donating my raffle money to

Charlie in the form of a bottle, if anyone else wishes to donate food, beverages or

money, he says he would be very appreciative.



There are only 8 days to go until the date of the party, so I will accept NO MORE

REQUESTS regarding the arrangements for the party, as I need to get on with my

'proper' job.





Mel.



############################################################ ############



Tue Dec 16th 2003



FROM: Melanie Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All ****** Employees!
RE: The ****** Holiday Party!

Vegetarians, Vegans, you miserable b******s ...... I've had it with you people!!!

Okay maybe you are a special case and my ruling of no more requests in my last

memo was unfair, but I DON'T CARE!! SHUT UP. GO AWAY.



We're going to keep this ****** party at the Grill House whether you like it or not,

so Veggie's and Vegans can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death,"

as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your ******* salad bar, including your organic

tomatoes...........they scream when you slice them.....yes, I know,............ I've heard it.



And to the IDIOT who asked whether the grill bar napkins are produced from

recycled paper, I suggest you ******- well bring your own.



I hope you all have a miserable holiday.

The Bitch from HELL !!!!!!!!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~



Wed Dec 17th 2003


FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

TO: All employees
RE: Melanie Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Mel Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue

to forward your cards to her.



In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give

everyone the afternoon off on the 23rd Dec with full pay.

Happy Holidays!



Joan

Send Clowns
19th Dec 2004, 16:57
:O Sorry to post another one of these (http://www.rawjunk.com/?show_media=32) here. First click starts the machine moving, second you hold down for power, release before you fall over the cliff. Good luck, Merry Christmas!

(305.7 m so far btw)

HowlingWind
19th Dec 2004, 17:04
That's neat. After Santa went to the bottom of the pit on the first try, once one got the hang of it the fat guy tumbled 185.6m on the second toss.

How much time must one spend at this to break 300m? :confused:

DuckDodgers
19th Dec 2004, 17:24
312.0 m, better get back to my beer!

Happy Christmas one and all!

Jerricho
19th Dec 2004, 17:26
316.3.

Just can't quite get him to the Reindeer at the end.

frimm
19th Dec 2004, 18:00
321.5 after about 5 minutes............ very funny

NinjaBill
19th Dec 2004, 18:21
348.3!!! who's the daddy?

Send Clowns
19th Dec 2004, 18:31
Mmmmm, can't seem to beat 334.3, not quite enough to hit the reindeer!

tall and tasty
19th Dec 2004, 18:39
Must be something in the wrist action!

I can't get over 300m

TnT

:uhoh:

SyllogismCheck
19th Dec 2004, 18:51
Lost track of the distance and got fixed on getting to the reindeer but failed by a fraction.... 340something.

Was 348.3 enough to hit it NinjaBill? What happens when you do?
I NEED to know!:8

The_Banking_Scot
19th Dec 2004, 19:10
Hi,

Only 244.8m :(

Regards

TBS

DuckDodgers
19th Dec 2004, 19:19
I think 350.4 m is pretty good? Beer helps coordination!

Fg Off Max Stout
19th Dec 2004, 20:09
Just seen an ad on't telly for what must be the worst compilation album in the world....ever. Seeing the ad for 'The Ultimate Knees Up Party Album' sent a shiver down my spine as I cringed at the ever worsening deluge of one hit wonders, vacuous crap and downright sh1te. Travesties that have rightly been forgotten have been brought back from the dead to inflict misery on another generation on not one but three CDs.

Who is the target audience for this - deaf people? Who compiles this bollox and more importantly, who on God's Earth spends their hard earned money on this excrescence. If you're on the minimum wage it'll take you as long to pay off this crap as it does to listen to it and that's not going to be any fun. If you're a BA skipper it'll take you as long to pay for it as it will to snap the CDs in half. There's plenty of average and some good music out there, so do not encourage this sort of sh*t. You're only funding the running of Chas and Dave's dialysis machines for another drinking season and they don't deserve it. The same goes for the rest of the 'artists'. Let them die a natural death with some dignity or help them on their way - do not preserve these vegetables, they are already rotten.

Here's the tracklist. Feel my pain:
1 Saturday Night 9 Let's Swing Again (Megamix)
2 Just A Little Bit 10 La Bamba
3 Swing The Mood (Megamix) 11 Y.M.C.A.
4 I'm Too Sexy 12 The Birdie Song
5 Jump Around 13 Shaddup You Face
6 Mickey 14 Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen
7 Can Can 15 Auld Lang Syne
8 Fiesta

1 Rabbit 9 That's What I Like (Megamix)
2 The Sideboard Song 10 Beatles Medley
3 Margate 11 Michael Jackson Mix
4 Snooker Loopy 12 ABBA Medley
5 Gertcha 13 Jock Party Mix
6 Turn That Noise Down 14 Let's Party (Megamix)
7 Stars Over 45 Medley 15 Happy Birthday To You
8 Ain't No Pleasing You


1 Agadoo 11 I Am The Music Man
2 Hands Up 12 Dancing In The Street
3 Y.M.C.A - In The Navy 13 Superman
4 D.I.S.C.O. 14 Simon Says
5 Atmosphere 15 The Birdie Song
6 Wig Wam Bam 16 Brown Girl In The Ring - Rivers Of Babylon - Hooray Hooray
7 We Danced We Danced 17 Soaking Up The Sun
8 Viva Espana 18 Let's Twist Again
9 I Just Called To Say I Love You 19 Hokey Cokey
10 Do The Conga 20 Sailing - You'll Never Walk Alone


I could go on but I feel a bit better now that's off my chest and my blood pressure's back into the amber and heading for green. If anyone wants to stand up and defend Joe Dolce, bring it on.

I'm not making it up (http://www.woolworths.co.uk/wwstore/product.jhtml?op=details&product=50300900&op=details)

tall and tasty
19th Dec 2004, 20:09
sky9

So HR does have a role to play in a company and a sense of humour!

My old company definately lacked both in the HR department

(Hard hat on and running fast)

TnT

tall and tasty
19th Dec 2004, 20:14
Fg Off Max Stout

But you can save £3.80 so some out there will rush out and buy it just because of the saving!

Laughed my head off reading this :p

For all the good reasons thanks!

TnT

Whirlygig
19th Dec 2004, 20:17
...but...er... doesn't that mean one is paying TWICE for "The Birdie Song" and "Y.M.C.A?"

That IS a travesty when I am sure there are sooo many other good tracks that could have been put in their place instead of duplicating two! Sadly I can't think of any excrutiatingly bad songs that haven't been included so perhaps someone could provide a gew suggestions?

Cheers

Whirlygig

The SSK
19th Dec 2004, 20:30
If anyone wants to stand up and defend Joe Dolce, bring it on.

I have a soft spot for Joe Dolce - remember boarding a Sabena flight in Rome, me and a hundred Italians (and a few Belgians) and what was their boarding music?

Wassa madda you...

ChrisVJ
20th Dec 2004, 05:06
I know Mrs VJ is an aggressive shopper but this takes the biscuit.

My son and I share a cell phone contract that ran out about four months ago. It runs on at about $50Cdn plus access, plus 911 fee a month for two phones. Yesterday my wife came back from Vancouver with two new phones, of course I hit the roof, the last thing we need is more phones. so she promptly cancelled our old contract.

Theses two phones have :

Camera with 4 x zoom,

The same computing power as an Apolo rocket,

GPS for 911, call in an emergency and the phone tells the emergency service where you are automatically,

gazillion number memory

call timer with audible warning

Web browser, downloads web pages,

all the usual phone sevices, call waiting, caller ID etc.

Different call tones for regular callers

Free local calls to anyone on the same system (Bell)

20 any length free calls from each to a nominated number

Free calls between the two, anytime, long distance ( TC is in Victoria, I am in Whistler,)

Weekends and evenings free.

100 mins a month shared anyway between the two ( I only ever use about 10 mins a month)

Guaranteed purchase of another 100 mins at $10 if we want.

Did I mention they come with 6 months free of all charges and local calls?

AND $200 gift credit card to the vending store

the contract is $50 a month INCLUDING access fees and emergency fee.

AND THE DAMNED PHONES WERE FREE AS WELL, has the world gone stark staring bonkers?

(Saving, $575 Cdn )

Boy, it is difficult to be upset.

lexxity
22nd Dec 2004, 00:16
Is it right for one set of employess, lets hypothetically say supervisors and above to have their christmas do payed for by the company and another, lets (again hypotetically) say those below to have to pay for their own out of their own pockets?
Discuss...

TheNightOwl
22nd Dec 2004, 00:23
I'm surprised you asked for a discussion - how could any such proposition be construed as fair? Mind you, in light of my experience of Management, I'm prepared to believe anything of them!

Patently UNFAIR, call a strike IMMEDIATELY!!!

Kind regards,

TheNIghtOwl.:ok:

BlueDiamond
22nd Dec 2004, 01:11
I suppose what the company does with its money is really nobody's concern and I don't think it's compulsory for said company to pay for anyone's Christmas do.

Possibly it shows a certain degree of generosity that they are prepared to pay for some of the festivities but they've also shown clearly enough where that generosity ends. It could be a simple matter of finances ... if a company has a thousand employees and ten supervisors, it will be a lot cheaper to pay for the latter's Christmas Cheer than the former's.

If the constraints were financial, then I think it would have been better if they had chosen to do nothing rather than have a "do" for just a few of the employees.

chuks
22nd Dec 2004, 07:36
I hate Xmas, with all that phony cheer and goodwill. So it cheered me right up to read this morning in the local (German) rag about a hireling Santa Claus impersonator in Alés, France who was importuned for extra candy by six youths.

When he told them 'No,' since he needed to keep back the candy for other good little boys and girls, they proceeded to knock him down and give him a good kicking before fleeing.

You really couldn't make something like this up....

I await a news flash from the States about some armed Santa impersonator pulling out a .38 and drilling some would-be candy robbers. Ho-ho-ho!

eal401
22nd Dec 2004, 08:59
There are no rules, it depends entirely on your boss!! And the nature of the event of course.

In my team's case, the boss paid a £10 deposit for each of us on our meal, we simply split the rest between us. Result was a three course Xmas lunch and a pint for a fiver. ;)

SpinSpinSugar
22nd Dec 2004, 14:57
Apologies if this has already been posted, I had a quick scan through the last week or so's JB and couldn't find it. Apparently it's been around forever but this year is the first time I've seen it so thought I'd share for others like me!

Cheers and Happy Christmas, SSS.


'Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp,
Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Hamp.
The fighters were fastened to tie downs with care,
In hopes that come morning, they all would be there.

The fuel trucks were nestled, all snug in their spots,
With gusts from two-forty at 39 knots.
I slumped at the dispersal desk, now finally caught up,
And settled down comfortably, resting my butt.

When the radio lit up with noise and with chatter,
I turned up the speaker to see what was the matter.
A voice clearly heard over static and snow,
Called for clearance to land at the airbase below.

He barked his transmission so lively and quick,
I'd have sworn that the call sign he used was "St. Nick".
I ran to the switches to turn up the lights,
The better to welcome this magical flight.

He called his position, no room for denial,
"St. Nicholas One, turnin' left onto final."
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Grumman-built sleigh, with eight Radial Reindeer!

With vectors to final, down the glideslope he came,
As he passed all fixes, he called them by name:
"Now Wildcat! Now Spitfire! Now Corsair and Hellcat!
On Cobra! On Lightening!" What pills was he takin'?

While controllers were sittin', and scratchin' their head,
They phoned to my office, and I heard it with dread,
The message they left was both urgent and dour:
"When Santa pulls in, have him please call the tower."

He landed like silk, with the sled runners sparking,
Then I heard "Left at Charlie," and "Taxi to parking."
He slowed to a taxi, turned off of three-oh
And stopped on the ramp with a "Ho, ho-ho-ho..."

He stepped out of the sleigh, but before he could talk,
I ran out to meet him with my best set of chocks.
His red helmet and goggles were covered with frost
And his beard was all blackened from Reindeer exhaust.

His breath smelled like peppermint, gone slightly stale,
And he puffed on a pipe, but he didn't inhale.
His cheeks were all rosy and jiggled like jelly,
His boots were as black as a night-fighters belly.

He was chubby and plump, in his suit of bright red,
And he asked me to "fill it, use hundred with lead ."
He came dashing in from the snow-covered pump,
I knew he was anxious for drainin' the sump.

I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
And I filled up the sleigh, but I spilled like a jerk.
He came out of the restroom, and sighed in relief,
Then he picked up a phone for a Flight Service brief.

And I thought as he silently scribed in his log,
These reindeer could land in an eighth-mile fog.
He completed his pre-flight, from the front to the rear,
Then he put on his headset, and I heard him yell, "Clear!"

And laying a finger on his push-to-talk,
He called up the tower for clearance and squawk.
"Take taxiway Charlie, the southbound direction,
Turn right three-two-zero at pilot's discretion"

He sped down the runway, the best of the best,
"Your traffic's a Grumman, inbound from the west."
Then I heard him proclaim, as he climbed thru the night,
"Cripes !!, that's not a Grumman, I have bogies in sight."

- Author Unknown

BDiONU
22nd Dec 2004, 19:30
I was going to simply wish you a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year but, after taking legal advice, have gone with the text below.



From me ......................................................("the wishor")

to you ........................................................("the wishee")

Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or gender preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:-

*This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.

*This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.

*This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes.

*This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.

*This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor.

Any references in this greeting to "The Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Saviour", "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

tall and tasty
22nd Dec 2004, 19:43
What ever happened to the simple

Happy Christmas and New Year

greeting it used to be so easy to say?

Sign of the times I guess

TnT

Ps never take advice from a lawyer they are only in it for the money!

takenthe5thamendment
23rd Dec 2004, 00:09
THIS (http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=JN13903933 ) is for all of you.

Have a Very Merry Christmas and A Happy And Prosperous 2005. x x

BRL
23rd Dec 2004, 01:47
Hi all. Last year, there was a link here to a page that tracked santa as he made his way around the world.

I cannot for the life of me remember it, so, can any of you lot help me out here?
Cheers :)

BlueDiamond
23rd Dec 2004, 02:15
This link (http://www.noradsanta.org/) might be the one, BRL.

Merry Christmas. Have you been good enough for a visit from Santa? You have? Shame on you! Ho Ho Ho. :D

pigboat
23rd Dec 2004, 02:23
Yeah BD that's the one. I saved the address from last year. :D

DX Wombat
23rd Dec 2004, 09:21
BRL where have you been? (http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=153998)

BRL
23rd Dec 2004, 09:25
Thanks guys, nice one.

Sorry DXW, being multi talented as I am, somehow I missed that post. That is twice in the last five years I have overlooked a thread in JB, must be me age! :D

walesjr
23rd Dec 2004, 09:46
12 Redneck Days of Christmas

I was taking the wife home yesterday evening, after she had managed to spend obscene amounts of money at the supermarket, Radio 2 was trying to break through the drone from the left hand seat when I heard a record called The 12 Redneck days of Christmas. It made me laugh but the Handbag wielder didn't understand why I was chortling. Anyway what I want to know is.... Can anyone fill in the rest of the list?.

12 Bottles of Bud
11
10
9 Years Probation
8
7
6
5 Table Dancers
4
3
2
1 parts for a Mustang GT

I think these are the right lyrics but please fill in the blanks.
Cheers and Merry Christmas

Nom De Guerre
23rd Dec 2004, 09:55
I'm looking for a part for my Mustang GT :{

walesjr
23rd Dec 2004, 09:56
Cheers Mike, so Wrastling equates to our Wrestling but what are Copenhagens and Redmans?

Mr C Hinecap
23rd Dec 2004, 10:51
Copenhagen is the utterly repulsive tobacco that they chew!

It is known as 'snuff' and is macerated tobacco that is picked twixt finger & thumb, then placed between the bottom lip and the gum. Makes the 'chewer' look deformed and gives them the capability to produce foul spit, which must be expelled.

I worked for a US officer that used to take a clear plastic bottle into meetings for his spit.

Oh - it is 'dipping' as opposed to 'chewing'. I think Redman is the chewing type.
Foul!

tall and tasty
23rd Dec 2004, 11:27
Hi everyone

Went to see Santa at the weekend and he asked the question to the kids

" Have you been good?"
"Yes" etc etc and then and

" What would you like in your stocking this Christmas? "

So everybody to all the big kids out there the night when the Father Christmas letters are being put up and the day before the big man himself turns up

I ask the question

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE IN YOUR CHRISTMAS STOCKING?


Enjoy

TnT


:ok:

Ps Please Father Christmas may I have ................

phoenix son
23rd Dec 2004, 11:29
Rachael Stevens?

PHX

Feeton Terrafirma
23rd Dec 2004, 11:36
THE winning lottery ticket

cargosales
23rd Dec 2004, 11:38
Your leg, TnT?

Still waiting for them piccies ;)

CS

B Fraser
23rd Dec 2004, 11:39
Sparkle in one leg, TnT in the other :O

airship
23rd Dec 2004, 11:58
Earth II :\ :confused:

Vlad the Impaler
23rd Dec 2004, 12:00
Surely there is a minority who will have christmas tights ?

A tall attractive blonde would do nicely but I'll settle for some choccies and a nice bottle of scotch !!

cargosales
23rd Dec 2004, 12:19
Choccies and a nice scotch borne by a tall blonde in stockings?

SyllogismCheck
23rd Dec 2004, 12:27
Surely there is a minority who will have christmas tights ? Any females in these parts who are still making use of such items probably wont be receiving a visit from Santa for being so contumacious as to disregard the wisdom contained in the relevant thread.

Santa knows you know.... have we been good? :E

Rollingthunder
23rd Dec 2004, 12:30
This has to have set the record for the most merged thread.

VIKING9
23rd Dec 2004, 12:58
http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/otn/holiday/noel.gif There are approximately 2 billion children (under 18) in the world. However, since Santa doesn't visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces his workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million.

At an average rate of 3.5 children per household (according to census reports) that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least 1 good child in each home. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him and take the piece of carrot left out for Rudolph and his mates, as well as get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth, we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second - 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium size Lego set (2lbs), the sleigh is carrying over 500,000 tons, not counting Santa himself - who is by all accounts a portly chap. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300lbs. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job cannot be done with 8 or even 9 of them - Santa would need 360,000 of them. This then increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, by another 54,000 tons, or roughly 7 times the weight of Queen Elizabeth 2 (the ship not the monarch).

Around 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the 5th house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles per second in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500g's. Santa, at 250lbs (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015lbs of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and thus reducing him to a quivering blob of goo.

Basically speaking then, if Santa does not exist, where do the presents actually come from?

Go on - answer that ! http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/otn/holiday/noel.gif

F/O
23rd Dec 2004, 13:22
You really must have lots of time to put this story on the BB.
Mostly I don't read this amount of text completely, but I must admit that it is a skill to think of so much bullshit and put it into a raedable story. You must be an aussie......

piss drunk, chase chciks and talk bullshit...............!!!

BOAC
23rd Dec 2004, 13:25
where do the presents actually come from Viking9 - from the present company, of course, as in 'present company excepted':D

Having ventured farther north than my normal area this year I now know that there are in fact lots of days of 'delivery' in Iceland, starting on 11/12 (I think) and making the last delivery on 24/12. That's a lot of mince pies and brandy!

This one's pointing at JB, I feel :hmm:

WG774
23rd Dec 2004, 13:37
2 rednecks pull into a filling station in their GT and ask the pump attendant to put in a full tank. The attendant tells them: "We have a promotion on - if you can guess the right number between 1 and 10 you get free sex".

Rednecks scratch their heads and decide on the number 7, whereupon the attendant tells them: "Sorry sirs, but today's number was 3".

During the following weeks the rednecks pull into the station regularly and try to guess the number, on each occasion the attendant states they have guessed incorrectly.

After the umpteenth attempt, they are driving back down the highway and one redneck says to the other: "That promotion's got to be bogus, we've had 20 attempts and didn't get it once" - The other redneck turns around and says: "No, it's definitely legit, my wife got the number right 3 times last week"...

noisy
23rd Dec 2004, 13:38
Ahhh, another variation on 'how engineers spoil christmas'. very traditional.

McD
23rd Dec 2004, 13:44
Yep, Redman is chewing tobacco, and Copenhagen is "snuff". Not that I know from personal experience :yuk:

And even though "wrastling" is still spelled "wrestling", the former is how it's often pronounced by the subject group of this thread. ;)

This post originally followed the posts discussing rednecks & tobacco, now located on the previous page, post-merge ... :\

airship
23rd Dec 2004, 13:56
Any sign of Him yet?

One is a little distraught in case one's spam-filter deletes the message to give up all of one's worldly goods and follow...

One is aware when someone knocks at the door but rarely answers it anymore. It is invariably yet another estate agent or alarm salesman.

T'is the only reason why airship has not yet acquired the riches most people aspire to...the Ferrari, holiday home in the s. of France, Hugo Boss after-shave etc.

If one is going to have to leave it all behind anyway, what is the point of making the effort to begin with? :(

airship
23rd Dec 2004, 14:03
This is mainly a logistics problem. BOAC should have moved it to Freight Dogs first...:)

five iron
23rd Dec 2004, 14:17
Ever considered that Father Christmas is a franchise?

VFE
23rd Dec 2004, 14:23
Still say The Stranglers should've gone with their idea for an Xmas 1979 release....

'Santa's Dead'.

:}

VFE.

slim_slag
23rd Dec 2004, 15:15
The christmas carol we would sing in the communal bath after a hard game of rugger would be.

On the nth day of Christmas, I took to bed with me

12 torn off testicles
11 licking lesbians
10 twisted turds
9 gnawed off nipples
8 aching @rse holes
7 sex starved spinsters
6 syphylitics
5 choir boys (wasn't as un PC back then)
4 filthy f***ers
3 french whores
2 sh!t house doors
and a rather nasty case of VD

And then we would compare sizes of schlongs. Wonderful game, rugby

tall and tasty
23rd Dec 2004, 15:55
ohh the threads have been merged again!

I can't keep up with them

TnT

Ric Capucho
23rd Dec 2004, 16:10
All Xmas grouches post here.

Ric

Ms. Turret (Ozi)
23rd Dec 2004, 16:22
Whatever hapened to Twicky Woo, I wonder.......?

Bah Humbug, etc.

Ric Capucho
23rd Dec 2004, 16:29
Tricky Woo? Who he?

Ric

Ms. Turret (Ozi)
23rd Dec 2004, 16:32
My virtual lover, of some time back. Ah, the positions that naughty lad used to truss me into. I'm still at the chiropractor after all these years..........still, brings a smile and a tear.:E

tony draper
23rd Dec 2004, 16:35
Hmmm, Her indoors away at her mums for a few days or summat Mr Ric? you seem to be spending a bit proon time these last few days.
One is neither for or agin it, Christmas that is, although one is one of the few who admits to a liking for Turkey, seems to be the in thing for the media luvvies TV cooks TV presenters and such at the mo to publicly proffess a hatred for turkey stuffing, sprouts ect, bit like admiting to being abused as a child a few years ago, if one had not been abused as a child, one had no chance of a job in front of the cameras, unless one spoke with a lisp and walked funny, then being abused was not necessary.
:rolleyes:

Duckbutt
23rd Dec 2004, 16:41
Ever tried Canada Goose Mr Draper?

Vlad the Impaler
23rd Dec 2004, 17:13
Do you think our favourite Canadian Goose is plump enough yet. What say you Jer ????

VFE
23rd Dec 2004, 18:23
Spot on Drapes! :ok:

Loki
23rd Dec 2004, 18:29
One does tend to agree that the media (meeja?) types have, over the years, inflicted their twee views on how Christmas should be conducted. We have our own traditions, one of which involves inbibing champagne at 9 ack emma, after which the rest of the day flows past in a very mellow fashion. One would not otherwise be able to bear it.


I don`t like turkey myself, but go along with chez Loki for the sake of harmony (`tis after all the season of goodwill , plus, I`m a coward))

Cowbell
23rd Dec 2004, 18:52
I have given up on it and now celebrate Festivus.

Seinfeld reference.

Jump Complete
23rd Dec 2004, 19:12
Right now I feel knackered and my ideal Christmas would be to sleep through the whole lot.
However, I spent a Christmas in a motel room on my own a very long way from home a few years ago and by the end of it I was eyeing the light fittings wondering if they would take my wieght, so I suppose its not so bad when you've got some family and friends to share it with.

newarksmells
23rd Dec 2004, 21:07
Received an email at work around a week ago informing us that we must use "Happy Holidays" when talking to colleagues and other workers so as not to offend the Jewish and African (Kwanzaa) religions and heritage by the mention of Christmas.

This is nuts. As some of you know, Christmas loosely translates to Birth of Christ which occurred on or around December 25th. I don't get offended when somebody says "Happy Hanukah" or "Happy Kwanzaa"...that's the holiday their religion and ancestry celebrates which is cool with me. Everybody is different.

What's wrong with Merry Christmas?

There's a certain bunch of people who have to take the fun out of everything. To hell with them !! Will these Politically Correct zealots be going after Easter next? Anyways, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night !!

Newarksmells

chiglet
23rd Dec 2004, 21:14
I Design and print the Christmas cards for my Church [Albion URC] and was "advised" when I took on the task, that the word "Merry" alluded to drink.... therefore, it's either Happy Christmas, or Seasons Greetings
watp,iktch

Davaar
23rd Dec 2004, 21:18
Merry Christmas, Newark.

What is more, here right now in the Alta Vista district of this fair city, the rain/freezing rain has stopped, there is an eerie quality of light in the sky, and a rainbow drops vertically down a couple of streets over. We are nipping round to see if any Jewish family has just had a kid, and to check on the donkey and stable supply and demand balance. We have a spare room right now, and if anyone is pushed for accommodation we could help.

Merry Christmas to all, the advisers at Albion URC included. Perhaps Santa will bring them a Shorter Oxford, and relieve their verbal constipation.

five iron
24th Dec 2004, 10:28
I only made it round once, and it took about 18 seconds! A colleague in the office made it in 8.32 seconds!

Try your luck.......

http://www.speedysanta.com/[/URL]

tall and tasty
24th Dec 2004, 10:34
The game is barred at work :*

Bah Humbug have to wait then!

TnT