View Full Version : QF747 STUCK IN GRASS (4the light-hearted)

18th Oct 2004, 14:52

Enjoy - think we all need some humour to brighten up the day...


18th Oct 2004, 14:57
good one !!!!!!!

now let's guess what lead to this incident.

18th Oct 2004, 14:58
Lucky, looks like no major damage.

18th Oct 2004, 15:02
i had heard the pilot wanted to do a go around but didnt as he was concerned in case some one spotted it and posted a go-around thread on pprune

18th Oct 2004, 15:04
Is that Bangkok?

18th Oct 2004, 15:15
Those floodlights on the fire truck must be very powerful. It almost looks daylight.

18th Oct 2004, 15:19
Unbelievable! Where does the grass come that high? Is it gen-manipulated?

Devlin Carnet
18th Oct 2004, 15:21
That must be the roughest runway in the world, No wonder it ended up in the grass.

Mr Chips
18th Oct 2004, 15:22
Well, its obviously a photoshop mock up blah blah blah blah blah!!!!!!

18th Oct 2004, 15:29
Terrified passengers describe near-fatal incident on QF01. "It should never have happened," sobbed one visibly shaken passenger as she told of screaming children, hysterical parents ... etc. etc. etc. yadayadayadayada


18th Oct 2004, 15:34
"I will never fly again in my life" says a woman in tears "I thought we were all going to die"....

18th Oct 2004, 15:37
"SHOCK SHOCK, HORROR HORROR, SHOCK SHOCK HORROR!!!!" The smurf passengers were terrified as the aircraft rolled out of control towards the grass plantation... forunately, the lesser-spotted, ill faded, genetically mutated blue pigeon that caused the accident by sending a wave of down-thrust onto the aircraft after landing on runway 19, was not too traumatised after all the commotion of the rescue cars, and continued park in its designated bay and refuel with some birdseed. As for the smurfs... They were blue in the face with anger...............


18th Oct 2004, 15:44
Any other pictures showing the school which the pilot (only one, as always) avoided hitting at the last minute?

18th Oct 2004, 15:51
Before we all leap into speculation and rumors, I strongly suggest that (the) investigation is best left to professionals who have access to relevant info and speculation is best pursued around a few drinks, where no-one is taking notes of all the dumb ideas we come up with... :E

18th Oct 2004, 15:55
investigation is best left to professionals http://www.toysrus.de/images/284335_CE_70_BC_A_gross.jpg

18th Oct 2004, 16:02
That would explain the magnifying glass in the policeman’s hand…. I see the pigeon has left…

18th Oct 2004, 16:09
Any other pictures showing the school which the pilot (only one, as always) avoided hitting at the last minute?

actually I think you'll find that those in most danger were not school children but a lovely patch of late-flowering delphiniums.

18th Oct 2004, 17:11
Any other pictures showing the school which the pilot (only one, as always) avoided hitting at the last minute?

Another picture taken outside the school, see how the kids look terrified



the heroic pilot also avoided a swimming pool


and a hospital


18th Oct 2004, 17:59
The picture is obviously a fake as I don't see the Captains nine iron anywhere :E

18th Oct 2004, 18:18
To my surprise the journos still didn't pick up that dramatic event.


18th Oct 2004, 18:41
cut & paste/

NEWSFLASH!!!.........NEWSFLASH!!!.........NEWSFLASH!!!...... ...
(Where's the scrolling text button? - Ed.)

Dramatic reports concerning the El Al jumbo jet which overshot the runway are coming in. It appears that all the emergency doors on the port (right) side of the aircraft were inoperative forcing all 650 passengers to try to exit from one side only. Moments later, the Airbus twin-engined jet was involved in a collision with a Flymo. Emergency teams are still going through the wreckage but the prospects for survivors look bleak after what one rescuer described as "a shocking carnage".

When asked whether the NTSB would be sending out their own people to support their colleagues, a spokes-person said "The AAIB should have no difficulty winding this up, we think it was pilot error in both cases anyway."

/cut & paste

Condolences to all involved. Perhaps someone could start another thread for the usual arguments and leave this one in order for people to pay their respects? If our mods are OK with that...

18th Oct 2004, 21:11
The pilot was a close mate of mine. God bless old pal, we will all miss you:{ :{ :{

18th Oct 2004, 21:49
I recon this QF747 lost all hydraulics and landed flapless - at least what I can see from the original picture.


18th Oct 2004, 22:04
In the meantime experts on site are still looking for the flight recorder.


18th Oct 2004, 22:47
A Qantas spokesman stated that "the damage to the aircraft was minimal and it would be repaired and returned to service as soon as possible", adding that a comprehensive grass re-seeding and land beautification project would be offered to the owners of the grass plantation to compensate them for the loss of income occassioned by the aircraft's unfortunate departure from the runway.

VH-TOY is a 747-438 aircraft purchased new from Boeing in December 1994 and had recently been placed back in service after a "D-Check". Qantas officials hastened to reassure the travelling public that all Qantas 747s would be fitted with a "Grass avoidance and Proximity system (GAPS)" as soon as the investigation into the incident was completed. The Captain and operating crew had been stood down from flying duties as a result of the incident. One was reported as being spotted at home - mowing his grass.

Buster Hyman
18th Oct 2004, 23:48
Apparently, the kids parents offered to buy him a new toy plane as it was cheaper than fixing the illustrated one, but he refused saying he didn't want a hull loss to show on his unblemished record!:hmm:

19th Oct 2004, 08:17
'' Pilot is rumoured to have attempted to abort take off after an ant blocked the runway, protesting about plans to extent L27 beyond the flowerbed. The authorities are investigating the huge failure in security and why the very successful anti-ant demo squad failed to sugar the field prior to departure. Bush is examining world security implications.;)

19th Oct 2004, 08:43
The boyfriend of the sister of my daughters girlfriend told my daughter that it was'nt a Qantas aircraft at all. He has a buddy who is working for McDonald's in Washington and he heard that the registration and painting of the aircraft is a fake. It was AIRFORCE ONE on a top secret mission.


19th Oct 2004, 09:08
Searchers and rescuers involved with Monday's QANTAS 747 crash have recovered the aircraft's 'black box' flight recorder. Officials say this should reveal the cause of the disaster but an unnamed cabin crew member reported overhearing something about a strange website "pprune" and "go-around threads".
A Cockpit Voice Recorder.


19th Oct 2004, 09:35
If you observe the dots on the black box allegedly recovered from Monday's crash site, you'll realise they are wider that those commonly used on Qantas 747s :suspect:

19th Oct 2004, 11:06
I believe you are correct, flyblue ... that is not the recorder from the crashed 747 and I think I am correct in stating that it is from a 767. This obviously indicates a cover-up of the worst sort.


In addition to dudduddud's posting that ...

an unnamed cabin crew member reported overhearing something about a strange website "pprune" and "go-around threads".
It has now been established that the words "grassy knoll," "large ant" and "deadly twig" can be clearly heard on the recording, spoken in a panic stricken manner and believed to be the words of the First Officer.

The airline has yet to comment on the allegation that the aircraft should have been equipped with the new anti-ant device more than six months ago but has delayed its installation "for economical reasons."

19th Oct 2004, 14:58
The aircraft was recovered and brought to the maintenance hanger (sometimes known as "The Shed") and during repairs an horrific accident occured involving one of the ground engineers.

The following pictures are not for the squeamish. You have been warned.



A witness is reported as saying "I just don't know what got into his head to inspect the engine like that"

Sources close to the incident speculated that the engineer involved was the same engineer who wrote the infamous "Engineer's Letter" which appears on many Chemtrails websites.... :8

simon brown
19th Oct 2004, 15:32
Meanwhile the aircraft's manufacturers Airfix have been called in to investigate the cause of the accident. Apparently undercarriage collapse due to "insufficient application of glue is being investigated at present and may be one of the contributing factors in the accident" a Mk 1 Learmount reported. Later reports are suggesting the trail left by a snail may have compromised the runways surface, and questions are being asked of the manager as to why the runway wasnt cleared of this residue.

Ant protesters who are being blamed for the accident are still adamant the extension of the runway by the flowerbed must be stopped, but they are not responsible for this event. Spokesman for the construction company "Groundforce" Mr Titchmarsh stated that "construction will be going ahead , but will be a total surprise to the owners, especially the control tower modelled on a gazebo, so lets keep it quiet eh..".

The ant protesters have since been removed by having boiling water poured on them by security staff.

When interviewed and asked why the heroic pilot was still off colour, he replied "they forgot to paint me before they put the 2 fuselage halves together and BALPA are putting together a case in respect of this"

DX Wombat
19th Oct 2004, 18:36
QANTAS' Chief Pilot visited the scene of the disaster.


The new Control Tower is clearly visible in the background. Also clearly visible is the fact that Jerricho is nowhere to be seen. He was the ATCO allegedly on duty at the time of the incident. Local Police are still trying to trace him. He is believed to have escaped to Canada.

19th Oct 2004, 20:14
News Flash!

The pilot reported stood down and last seen mowing his grass apparently discovered an RV-4, covered with odd stickers and sporting an oversize fuel-tank, hiden in the long grass. He is reported to have promptly mowed a shortish runway and then taken off in it and was last seen heading for New Zealand. :D

20th Oct 2004, 13:02
All is not lost, here are exclusive pictures from a secret location...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/anderson/thunderbirds/gallery/images/340/thunderbird2_2.jpg (Crash +00:02:21)

Small problem with the nuclear whazzit, Brains is checking the constructor's manual, cockpit view...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/anderson/thunderbirds/images/p6_crew.jpg (Crash +02:31:59)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/anderson/thunderbirds/gallery/images/340/thunderbird2.jpg (Crash +72:13:25)

20th Oct 2004, 13:29
...Meanwhile, the operations have resumed at the airport where the accident took place

Buster Hyman
20th Oct 2004, 23:06
At this rate, we'll lose the ability to post images on JB!:rolleyes: ;)

24th Oct 2004, 17:03
Who cares. This is the funniest thread for ages!!!!!

Noah Zark.
24th Oct 2004, 20:35
Cause of the incident confirmed as total brake failure. Observe, no skidmarks. (Not on the runway, anyway!)

PPRuNe Pop
25th Oct 2004, 16:50
Even at this late stage. Fire ants have been warned to shut down their APU's (ANT PYROTECHNIC UNITS) to remove any risk of sparks.