PDA

View Full Version : Bubble Gum Menace


Davaar
15th Oct 2004, 17:02
A thread maintained, a year or two ago, that chewing gum was the source of social degeneracy and the looming end of civilisation.

Some thought it just a hoax or, as they say, a wind up, but I recognised its deadly merit. I may even have contributed an apercu on the Greater slack-jawed mouth-agape bolus-revealing bovine-cud non-ruminant Canadian gum-chewer. This peril manifests itself at airport waiting lounges and, worse even than the cell-phone, is responsible for the decline in air travel as its victims opt for the private dog-sled and canoe in their desperation to avoid the true horror.

Recently, though, I have noticed -- No! It has been forced on me -- that the menace continues more virulently in the form of the bubble-gum-popper. Standing as at times I must in line with the herd I hear and indeed smell the mild-scented quasi-flatulence of the "pop!' right next to my ear, the gum being savoured around the extended tongue of the invariably female bone-head engaged in this sordid practice.

I do not expect anyone here to do anything. It is just a complaint.
Is there, short of the tomb, any hope?

itchybum
15th Oct 2004, 18:37
Join them.

I always carry packets of gum and often place my chewed left-over on the corner of a seat so someone else can enjoy it too.

Also, I like to drop chewed gum just outside a doorway so someone will tread it inside and stick to the carpet.

But as for loud, wet-sounding chewing and bubble popping, the movies and the tube are probably the best locations to annoy folks. :ok:

tony draper
15th Oct 2004, 18:56
Thats strange, one thunk the chewing of bubble and or chewing gum had declined in the UK, one recals young teeny lassies in Tartan mini skirts with the pepermint flavoured ectoplasm you describe constantly inflating and deflating and young chaps chewing gum and speaking in cockney rhyming slang was common place in the seventies.
One hopes the Tartan mini skirt also makes a comeback,
One used to have the occasional stick of wrigglies spearmint oneself but used to get bored after ten minutes and got rid of same, we were warned never to swallow gum as it would stick to our ribs.
Incidently General Santa Anna of Alamo fame invented chewing gum,one suspects one has already informed you of this fact on numerous occasions, tiz one of those snippets one tries to get into conversations if one can,as is the fact that we Drapers have Craters on the moon named after us.
:rolleyes:

Davaar
15th Oct 2004, 19:17
Well, Yes, I do recall both information snippets, Dr draper, although one can never be reminded too often.

I have a snippet for you to in relation to, Yes! By gum! umm, gum.

If you are ever caught, as it were, short, but near a wheatfield, the self-same Santa-Anna Effect, so expensively bought by so many from Wrigley, can be achieved by taking a few ears of grain, discreetly or flagrantly to taste spitting out the chaff, and continuing to chew. The result is self-created and, what is more, healthy and nutritious gum that can be swallowed without hazard to the ribs, and is a valuable source of natural roughage. Even rougher if you do persevere with the chaff. In a prairie law practice, surrounded by durum, one has joined the clients in a social ear of wheat. The bubble effect does not exist.

djk
15th Oct 2004, 19:51
I always keep a pack of gum with me especially if I'm running short of cigarettes
sometimes I just carry a pack of mints with me

tony draper
15th Oct 2004, 20:44
Ah yes Mr Davaar we also knew of all the bush tucker to be had in the fields and gardens of England in the olden days,kids nowadays think Tesco's produce apples and such in their brand new Apple factory, unfortunatly production of same is to be transfered to India with the loss of 500 skilled apple making jobs.

One recals on a sunday when Lamb was on the menu,self and bro would be sent on a mint gathering mission to the allotments in the park, a hang over that survived the wartime dig for victory scheme.
Happy days. :rolleyes:

BlueDiamond
16th Oct 2004, 01:51
I've gone through bucketloads of the stuff since giving up smoking last year, Davaar. Not the bubble kind, just ordinary chewing gum. Disposal is not usually a problem though, wrap in a corner of a tissue or small bit of paper and chuck in nearest bin.

Perhaps you may think I am being selfish in denying all those people the hours of amusement which may be derived from attempting to remove said confection from shoes, carpets, desks, clothes or hair. Well, let them buy their own.

:rolleyes:

Solid Rust Twotter
16th Oct 2004, 05:56
One thinks it would be the thousand yard stare and mindlessly revolving jaws masticating the foul stuff that offend, rather than the substance itself. One's boot shod feet itch to deliver a short sharp jab in the crotch to the offender.........:E

BlueDiamond
16th Oct 2004, 08:25
One's boot shod feet itch to deliver a short sharp jab in the crotch to the offender.........

Ouch!

:{

Loki
16th Oct 2004, 10:13
Quite so, should be a hanging offence, along with the wearing of baseball caps and other transatlantic inspired habits.

Feeton Terrafirma
16th Oct 2004, 10:16
I always keep a pack of gum in the car. Serves as an after lunch toothbrush and breath freshener. Disposal is easy as well, just swallow.



Mr Davaar,

Have you considered that you are lucky its not chewing tabacco, but only bubble gum?

tony draper
16th Oct 2004, 10:21
Old chap one used to yack with in ones club was a snuff taker, now there is a grubby anti social habit, one glimpse of his hankerchief would have caused Atilla's horde to flee screaming.

:uhoh:

Jerricho
7th Feb 2005, 14:02
Anybody who drops bubble gum or chewing gum in the street should be shot.

Ozzy
7th Feb 2005, 14:12
No, they should be made to pick someone elses dropped chewing gum and continue masticating it until clean.

And then shot.:E

Ozzy