View Full Version : Airline Dictionary

31st Aug 2004, 16:36
A friend sent me this by e-mail and I really felt I had to share it with you:

Airline Dictionary:

The airline industry, like any other, has a specialized dictionary. These are words and phrases that are used commonly by airline employees for which the meanings may not be obvious to outsiders.

* Check-in Agent - A superhuman with the patience of a saint, the
herding ability of an Australian sheepdog, the E.S.P. abilities of Uri
Geller, the compassion of a psychoanalysts, and and the tact of a
diplomat. They have mysterious abilities to control wind/rain/snow/fog and all other weather phenomenon. They are capable of answering three questions at one time, while talking on the phone, and without stuttering or choking on their tongue.

* Non-Revenue Position - Usually can be identified by the fact that
these passengers are in first class and are dressed in pilot or flight attendant uniforms. Non-revenue position are permitted to fly first class free of charge to prevent revenue passengers from being able to pay first class passenger charges.

* Carry On Bag - An item, usually of large dimensions, which
somehow managed to fit under the passenger's seat on the inbound flight. Regardless of what the passenger says the following are not acceptable as carry-on items: bicycles, steamer trunks, refrigerators, truck tires, or wide screen projection TVs.

* Passenger - A herding creature of widely varying intellect, usually found in pairs or small groups. Often will become vicious and violent in simple and easily rectified situations. When frightened or confused these creatures collect into a group called a "line." This "line" has no set pattern and is usually formed in inconvenient places.

* Group - A large loud pack of passengers (see passenger) traveling together. The group leader, who has the tickets, usually waits in the bar until the required pre-board time of five minutes before departure, or until there are no seats left together, whichever occurs last.
Reservation agents are prohibited form pre-assigning seats to groups as this may convenience them.

* Flight Schedule - An entertaining work of paperback fiction.

* On Time - An obscure term, meaning unknown.

* Air Traffic Control - A game played by airline pilots and air traffic
controllers. The game has no rules, and neither side knows how it is played, but the goal is to prevent flights from arriving in time for passengers to make connecting flights.

* Pre-Board - Passenger who arrives at the gate five minutes before departure.

* Voluntary Oversale - A passenger who arrives at the gate as the jetway is coming off the flight.

* No-Record - Any passenger booked through a travel agency.

* Sign - An airport decoration. Usually unnoticed except by small
children. Its primary function is to hide the location of various areas of the airport, i.e., gate numbers, rest rooms, baggage claim, etc.

* Position Closed - This is a sign posted at various counter locations, which when interpreted by the passenger says, "Form line here."

* Baggage Claim - The most difficult area of the airport to find. It is usually hidden by numerous signs saying, "Baggage Claim Area."

* Fog - A natural weather phenomenon which usually occurs around an airport while the surrounding areas are clear. Fog is controlled by the airlines and is used to delay flights.

31st Aug 2004, 17:48
No-Record - Any passenger booked through a travel agency and whose reservation is messed up by an airline staff doing a pre flight check who should have worked in a travel agency before he got his/her current job but never did

Position Closed - This is a sign posted at various counter locations, which when interpreted by the passenger says, "Form line here"so that someone will come up sooner or latter from their morning cuppa- esp those who go on strike occasionally demanding a more tolerant unauthorised absence policy

surely not
31st Aug 2004, 18:15
Very good e-mail Bealine. Isn't it strange how often humour illuminates truths!

31st Aug 2004, 19:36
Raw nerve rsoman?


3rd Sep 2004, 06:34
Sorry rsosman - no personal offence intended!

However, I have worked in a travel agency and can reliably inform you that many, many agency bookings don't appear in the reservations system. The reasons are manifold, (human error on both the agency and the airline not at the bottom of the list I must add), and human nature being what it is, the quickest response is to "blame the agent".

Keep smiling!:D

Maude Charlee
3rd Sep 2004, 11:30
Dispatcher - creature of humanoid form who forms the last line of defence against on time departures. Main duties are prolonged absences and loss of important documentation.;)

3rd Sep 2004, 14:01
rsoman is obviously a punter and not a worker otherwise he would understand the humour.

Lost baggage Regardless where the passenger has just flown in form, the lost baggage clerk personally lost the pasengers baggage .

Final 3 Greens
3rd Sep 2004, 15:19

Just in case you haven't noticed, this is the punter's forum, so why should RSROMAN understand the injokes?

4th Sep 2004, 04:42
Thanks F3G - you got in there before me ;)

4th Sep 2004, 05:36
Thanks folks for the words of sympathy.

By the way with my better half working for an airline checking in a few hundreds every day and me starting off as a travel agent (now breaking my head teaching agents how not to make silly mistakes and cause headaches to Bealine and Co - ), being aware of the full picture, I thought this was a good chance to express a view point from the other side of the fence!

No offence intended at anybody! After all. we have a common enemy - dont we ???