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Readability5
3rd Dec 2001, 20:12
This is an extract from a Home Economics textbook printed in the early 60's.

The Good Wife Guide.

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return from work. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.

Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with many work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring job may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter.

Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables. During the colder months of the year, you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by.

Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time.

Let him talk first; remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner, or even stays out all night. Count this as minor to what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.

Once he has had a chance to have his evening meal clear the dishes and wash up promptly. If your husband should offer to help decline his offer as he may feel obliged to repeat this offer and after a long working day, he does not need the extra work.

Encourage your husband to pursue his hobbies and interests and be supportive without seeming to encroach. If you have any little hobbies yourself try not to bore him speaking of these, as women's interests are often rather trivial compared to men's.

At the end of the evening tidy the home ready for the morning and again think ahead to his breakfast needs. Your husband's breakfast is vital if he is to face the outside world in a positive fashion.

Once you have both retired to the bedroom prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. However, remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night.

When it comes to the possibility of intimacy with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it.

In all things be lead by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then accede humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.

Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your nighttime face and hair care products.

You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.

Does anybody actually have a wife like this?

No comment
3rd Dec 2001, 21:29
QUALITY!!!

The Mistress
3rd Dec 2001, 22:10
Was the article entitled:

"How to be a doormat in one easy lesson" ??

That HAS to be written by a bloke for the blokes!

sanjosebaz
3rd Dec 2001, 22:45
Hate to rain on your parade, but I think this link (http://www.sendafriend.com/GoodWifes/) is more likely to be the original.

TowerDog
4th Dec 2001, 00:09
Good old days..... :D

Send Clowns
4th Dec 2001, 05:09
and?

dingducky
4th Dec 2001, 15:53
does anyone have a copy of the modern version? :confused:
saw it once and it was quite amusing :)

Send Clowns
4th Dec 2001, 16:09
It is linked in the page SanJose links to, DingDucky.

Celtic Emerald
4th Dec 2001, 16:27
I think I'll stay single thanks! :eek:

Thinking about it you'd want to read the book my mother suggested to me when I was entering puberty back in the early seventies. It was called 'My Dear Daughter' and it was supposed to give a gal a sex education. Yes that was to be the extent of my sex education but as usual I ignored my mothers advice. Thank Gawd I did, when out of curiosity I took a peep at it years later the only thing it would have prepared me for was to be a chastity belt wearing nun :eek:

If I dig it somewhere I could quote some of it for you'se if youse could stomach it but Danny has banned religion & this is religious with a big R :eek:

Emerald

[ 04 December 2001: Message edited by: Celtic Emerald ]

The Guvnor
4th Dec 2001, 21:04
Ah, but Celtic surely you were groing up in Ireland at the time, and probably had a Convent education? From what I hear, Convent girls divide strictly into two camps.

Nuns - and, er, "bad girls". :D :eek: :D

tony draper
4th Dec 2001, 22:08
ooh ooh, bad nuns, ;)

CatTower
5th Dec 2001, 09:04
Just the way it should be! :D

Charlie Foxtrot India
5th Dec 2001, 18:57
Reckon if I started behaving like that my hubby would send me to the funny farm.
Have dinner ready = pick up one of the five major food groups on the way home (Hungry Jacks, MacDonalds, Chicken Treat, Red Rooster or Pizza Hut)
"Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him" :confused:
He can get a lesie video if he finds that sort of thing interesting!
"If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night." Perhaps dressing up as Hilda Ogden might be a little more interesting for him though? Just a thought.

djk
6th Dec 2001, 13:58
I think you'll find that it comes from a text book even earlier than the 60's. I actually have the book at home which I found in my gran's bookcases when we were having a good clear out. I'll check at home and give you the title and the year it was printed. :)

sanjosebaz
6th Dec 2001, 19:48
The link I provided above (fourth post), shows a date in 1955.

Bailed Out
7th Dec 2001, 04:57
I still see a lot of content, happy little old ladies and even more Victor Meldrews. It will be interesting to see how future generations will turn out. Maybe all this lib/equal stuff is the wrong way?

Just a thought....

CoodaShooda
7th Dec 2001, 08:08
Perhaps they're happy and content because their daughters grew up to become the wives of today.
They're getting their revenge!! :D :D

djk
7th Dec 2001, 13:01
sanjosebaz,

It is an earlier source from the original posting. That excerpt however is based on an even earlier publication

"The Complete Illustrated Cookery Book" Published by Morrison & Gibbs Ltd, London and the first edition was published June 1934

The list of utensils that they recommend would be the basics for an equipped kitchen to serve a family of 6 is incredible, I'm not sure if any of that stuff would fit into any modern kitchen.

djk
7th Dec 2001, 18:47
ding ducky,

here's the modern version
---------------------------------------------

Have dinner ready. Make reservations ahead of time. If your day becomes too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you'd like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has been crappy and gives him an opportunity to change your mood.


Prepare yourself. Stopping at the "Chanel" counter on your way home will do wonders for your outlook and will keep you from becoming irritated every time he opens his mouth. (Don't forget to use his credit card.)


Clear away the clutter. Call the housekeeper and tell her that any miscellaneous items left on the floor by the children can be placed in the Goodwill box in the garage.


Prepare the children. Send the children to their rooms to watch television or play Nintendo. After all, both of them are from his previous marriages.


Minimize the noise: If you happen to be home when he arrives, be in the bathroom with the door locked.


Some DON'TS:
Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Let him speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if he's late for dinner, simply remind him that the leftovers are in the fridge and you left the dishes for him to do.


Make him comfortable: Tell him where he can find a blanket if he's cold. This will really show you care.


Listen to him: But don't ever let him get the last word.


Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or other places of entertainment; go with a friend or go shopping (use his credit card). Familiarize him with the phrase "Girls' Night Out!"


The Goal: Try to keep things amicable without reminding him that he only thinks the world revolves around him. Obviously he's wrong. The world revolves around you

LowNSlow
7th Dec 2001, 19:50
I think this version is better personally:

>17 things the perfect girlfriend would say:



>
>1. I'll swallow it all - I love the taste.
>
>2. . Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
>
>3. I'm bored. Let's shave my fanny.
>
>4. Oh come on, what do you say we get a good porn film, a case of beer and
>have my best friend over for a threesome.
>
>5. God. If I don't get to blow you soon I'll kill myself!
>
>6. I know It's a lot tighter back there, but would you please try again?
>
>7. You're so sexy when you're hungover.
>
>8. I'd rather watch you and your mates watch sport and serve the beers to
you than go shopping.
>
>9. Let's subscribe to the porn channels.
>
>10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girl friend?
>
>11. Let's go shopping so you can look at the women's arses.
>
>12. I love it when you play sport on Saturday - I just wish you had time
to play on Sunday too!
>
>13. Darling, our new neighbour's daughter is sun bathing again - come see!
>
>14. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
>
>15. Do me a favour, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy
yourself some new gadgets.
>
>16. That was a great fart! Do another one.
>
>17. I signed up for Yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head!
>

Mishandled
7th Dec 2001, 20:27
My father in law (gawd bless im), read out the 50s version at our wedding as a final instruction to my now wife as to how she should behave. Needless to say she hasnt taken a blind bit of notice. Although she must have listened about being quiet during sex. ;)

Baggy
9th Dec 2001, 03:50
Guvnor, can we explore the convent girls aspect a bit more, I feel that I may not be using my heritage to it's full potental!!!! Where, oh where am I going wrong??????????????? :D :D :D

[ 08 December 2001: Message edited by: Baggy ]

sprocket
9th Dec 2001, 05:12
Warning: For those who are considering a "happy ever after" life, with a soul mate, should seriously consider all avenues first.

A Dog or a Wife … what’ll it be?

1. Dogs love it when your friends come over.
2. Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late.
3. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
4. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
5. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
6. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
7. A Dog's parents never visit.
8. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking directions.
9. Dogs don't hate their bodies.
10. No dog ever bought a Ricky Martin album.
12. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
11. Dogs never criticize.
13. Dogs would rather have hamburger than lobster for dinner.
14. You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.
15. Dogs find you amusing when you've had too much to drink.
1. When you let a dog in it stops whining.
2. A dog never asks "Do I look fat in this?"
3. Dogs like their meat raw
4. Dogs dont mind if you use their shampoo;
Dogs like a public display of affection;
The more you stink the more a dog likes you;
Dogs dont mind if you have more than one dog.

Paterbrat
13th Dec 2001, 17:48
The sadest part about the whole thing is that any lady who has read the book and is prepared to follow the instructions is in and old folks home.
No wonder so many Grandads remained married, hard to get tired of a lady who followed that advice you could really fall in love with a lady who did all that.

sweety
13th Dec 2001, 18:25
Dream on, boys! :cool: We are not slaves!!!! :mad:

PilotsPal
13th Dec 2001, 18:53
Baggy

Exactly what do you want to know about convent girls?

(St Joseph's Convent, Lincoln 1963-66 aged 8-11 but it had a profound effect on me)

Kaptin M
14th Dec 2001, 18:02
Me too, All Hallows Convent, Brisbane - weekdays, 10pm-2am; week-ends, all hours....1968-1976 :D

Agreed sweety, you're NOT slaves, but a little bit of feminism displayed by a woman, is far more likely to get both of us what we want, than the butch half-man, half-woman style a lot of females have adopted.

Boss Raptor
16th Dec 2001, 14:49
In my experience women are incapable of reading instructions and carrying them out for any length of time - therefore the 1955 book might say it - but guaranteed it didn't last more than a few days! :D