View Full Version : A question for the ladies.

3rd Dec 2001, 14:57
Following my post in another thread can I ask the ladies in our midst to relay some of their experiences of being chatted up?

The crass, toe curling, embarrassing or just plain funny ones.

Gentlemen why not ask your wives for a contribution?

Thank you.

3rd Dec 2001, 20:21
Worst chat up line in the history of the universe is the one that goes along the lines of ... "My wife just doesn't understand me."

The best response to which is ... "What makes you think I can ???"

Best approach has to be a big, friendly smile combined with genuine interest. A little warmth goes a long way.

the wizard of auz
4th Dec 2001, 18:20
hey Blue diamond, :D and I am genuinely interested.
and I dont live that far away.....email me ;) :D

Celtic Emerald
5th Dec 2001, 22:25
"Your eyes are so beautiful", by some Spanish waiter.

Sounds flattering till you realise he says it to every girl who comes up to the bar for a drink. Sounds even more shallow than the drink he's serving. :(


bubba zanetti
5th Dec 2001, 22:32
A Kiwi I work with says it was in Sidney an Oz bloke said ..
" You look like you have a little Aussie in you ..."

Kiwi - "No .. none at all."

" Well, would you like to ?!"

6th Dec 2001, 05:37
Hey, Wiz ... do you have a nice, big, friendly smile?

:D :) :D :) :D

Bio Warrior
6th Dec 2001, 12:38
This happened a few weeks ago
It was Sunday young Bio has decided to have a nice day out alone and was wandering happily through the local park thinking what a lovely day it is etc etc when a guy waves out to me and comes over.
(People tend to remember me by I often don't remember them so I smile and say hi all the while wondering where I have forgotten him from.)
He's chatting away about what a great day it is, so finally I decide to bite bullet and ask the question "do I know you?" he grabs my hand and shakes it and while he's shaking it he says "are you alone here" and looks around at the empty park. Suddenly I find myself thinking of metalic grey ducttape and battered white vans with the windows blacked out. The guys still holding my hand and looks down at my ring "the ring? are you married?"
"umm no" suddenly I realize I don't know this guy, I didn't go to Uni with him, I don't go to church with him and he isn't one of the doctors or orderlies that hang around my hospital, he is a complete stranger.
"I'm looking for a girlfriend" he declares
I reclaim my hand and babble something about having to meet my boyfriend (have yet to meet my current one ;) ) and hightail it out of there without looking back.

The above is a bad bad way to chat up a girl, I like horror movies but I do not want to star in one! :eek:

6th Dec 2001, 17:57

Was the guy an Aussie? :eek:

the wizard of auz
6th Dec 2001, 18:32
Hey BD, its a huuuuuge friendly smile, didnt you see it displayed. and I only live a few bourbons away....thats north talk for a few miles. :D :D :D :D , how many more are required, I'll add them

7th Dec 2001, 17:37
Ladies would genuinely like your answers to how you might have reacted to this?

Driving along the road I saw standing on the side a stunningly beautiful young lady (to me anyway) so I turned the car round stopped, got out and said " I am not trying to pick you up and forgive me if I am being rude but you look absolutely stunning and have really brightened my day. Thank you so much". I then got back in the car and drove off.

She either went home feeling flattered or thinking what a complete w**ker - what would you have thought?

Incidentally in case it makes any difference I am no oil painting but was mid forties and I guess what you would call reasonably presentable!

[ 07 December 2001: Message edited by: GROUNDHOG ]

7th Dec 2001, 23:38
Groundhog, should think any woman who received that sort of compliment would go on her way with a big beaming smile for the rest of the day.

tony draper
7th Dec 2001, 23:57
That used to happen to me all the time when I was a young man, ladies would pull up alongside Draper and say,
"Wow!, your a handsome young stud", then drive off.
Nowadays alas,if Draper is standing by the roadside, they pull up, press 10p into Drapers hand and say,
"Go and buy yourself a cup of tea, and don't spend it on drink". :(

[ 07 December 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

8th Dec 2001, 17:42
How many times a day do ye stand by the roadside nowadays, Mr D? :D

8th Dec 2001, 18:20
Funniest chat up line I used, which was an abject failure mind you, was at a UAS party several years ago.

I was having my ear bent by young female stude ( me visiting QFI from downsouth) who was giving me sever grief about what she was studying - Genetics.

Said young lady was in full flow about women's rights , education and how bright she had to be to study said topic when I asked her if she knew how to make babies, being as she was so clever?
When she replied "No" the obvious response was " OK then lie down and I'll show you how"

Didnt see her again after that!

burns wannabe
9th Dec 2001, 00:40
My favourite one from UAS days, won't say which, was to just walk up to the dirty wench/squadron bird and just come straight out with, "Do you fancy a shag?"
If they did anything but agree just say, "Oh I'm sorry, you must have misheard. I said your ****ing ugly!" and then run and hide amongst the other green suited ones.

9th Dec 2001, 03:43
Groundhog, you really are a lovely, lovely young man...

Worst chat up line.. my friend and I have a space in our bed!!!! :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :confused:

9th Dec 2001, 17:23
mind you div'nt sweat much for a fat lass