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matspart3
6th Jul 2001, 22:30
Fred goes for a job with the CAA.
CAA man:- Thank you for coming to the interview Fred, now I just got a few questions I'd like to ask you. Have You ever been in any of the armed forces?

Fred:- Yes, I was in the RAF.

CAA man:- Oh good, you see we like ex-forces types in the CAA. Now did you ever see any action whilst in the RAF?

Fred:- Oh yes, I was a Falklands pilot.

CAA man:- Oh very good, you see we like chaps that know how to handle themselves when the pressures on. Now Fred, were you wounded at all?

Fred:- Oh yes, I was wounded!

CAA man:- OK Fred, well I can tell you now that you sound just the chap for a job with the CAA, let me tell you more about it. You start at 9:45 then work through till 10:30 when you get a half an hour tea break. You then work quite a long stint from 11:00 through until 12:30 when we stop for a 2 hour lunch break in our excellent subsidised restaurant. We restart at 14:30 and work until 15:00 when we have another well earned half an hour tea break. We then press on from 15:30 until 16:00 during which we clear our desks ready for work the next day. And finally, on Fridays we only work a half day, and all go home at 12:30.

Now Fred do you think you could fit in with a tough and demanding schedule like this?

Fred:- Oh yes, I'm sure I could fit in.

CAA man:- OK then Fred we'll see you at 9:45 next Monday.


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Fred gets up and begins to leave the room whence the interviewer notices that Fred seems to be a fully able person (i.e. no war wounds).
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CAA man:- Excuse me Fred but you did say that you had been wounded but it seems to me that you're actually very able bodied. Could I inquire as to the nature of your wound?

Fred:- Well it's a bit embarrassing really. You see I was on a bombing run at FL370 when some bugger on the ground got lucky with a rifle and shot my balls off!

CAA man:- OK then Fred, in that case you can start work at 10:30.

Fred:- Oh no, I don't want any special treatment because I've been injured.

CAA man:- Oh no Fred, I'm afraid that you don't understand. All we do in the CAA between 9:45 and 10:30 is stand around and scratch our balls!

Good Luck Mr. Gorsky
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control.

Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck Mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good luck Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

On July 5, 1995 (in Tampa Bay FL) while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbour's bedroom windows. His neighbours were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"