View Full Version : Line dancing - the steps of the devil himself....

Cyclic Hotline
18th May 2001, 03:53
No, not some missive from Iran or Saudi - just Northern Ireland (the other home of religious tolerance)!

Line-dancing - sinfully out of step says Paisley

BELFAST (Reuters) - Protestant preacher-politician Ian Paisley, a thundering voice in Northern Ireland's elections, has a new target for his fundamentalist zeal -- line-dancing.

Paisley, a frequent poll-topper and safe bet to sweep to victory in the North Antrim seat in the general election, is ringing alarm bells about it on behalf of his Free Presbyterian Church which has ministers across the province.

"The dancing of the world, hugging the other sex, set to music, is sensual and clearly caters to the lust of the flesh," the leadership "General Presbytery" of his Church said in a statement issued "through its Moderator, Dr Ian R K Paisley".

"Free Presbyterian Church condemns Line dancing as sinful," trumpeted the headline above the statement, published in "The Burning Bush" magazine which is carried on the church's website. The statement "was ordered to be read in all Free Presbyterian Churches on Lord's Day 29th April".

"Line dancing and other worldly practices are now freely indulged in by processing Christians at wedding receptions and other social occasions," the statement warned.

"Line dancing is as sinful as any other type of dancing, with its sexual gestures and touchings. It is sensual, and not a crucifying of lust but an excitement to lust.

"As a Presbytery, we warn our members of the sinfulness of such dancing performances and exhort them not to participate in such practices."

As well as being chief figurehead of his church, Paisley is one of Northern Ireland's most controversial politicians. A scourge of ecumenism, Irish republicanism and the Good Friday peace accord, he has strode its political stage over four decades.

He denounces guerrillas on both sides of the province's deep sectarian divide and derides the accord as craven appeasement of militant republicanism.

Acolytes regard him as a colossus protector of British rule. Enemies see him as a hectoring demagogue. He infuses every address in pulpit or in parliament with religious fervour.

His chief targets in the election are the Good Friday Agreement and David Trimble, the province's most powerful Protestant politician who was one of its architects.

Paisley says the accord will trundle British-ruled Northern Ireland into union with the largely Roman Catholic Irish Republic. He wants his Democratic Unionist Party to take seats from the powerful Ulster Unionist Party, and thus topple Trimble -- the UUP leader who is the province's First Minister.

[This message has been edited by Cyclic Hotline (edited 17 May 2001).]

18th May 2001, 07:15
Sex, drugs and line dancin'. What IS the world comin' to. Great title for a mag tho - The Burning Bush. Doesn't that conjure up an image? :)

18th May 2001, 08:09
...the "burning bush" LOL :)

pigboat, that kind of friction should be illegal (or at least restricted to Saturday nights)! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif

"You did WHAT"?!

18th May 2001, 08:37
Isn't that why presbyterians don't have sex, in case it leads to line dancing??

Say again, Approach....you want us to do what???

Pilot's sex kitten
18th May 2001, 13:27
Line dancing used to strike me as incredibly boring and not half as much fun as dances such as the Salsa. However, now that it has been described as "sensual and clearly caters to the lust of the flesh" I might have to take it up as it now sounds like my kind of thing!

Isn't it funny how once the Church has described something as sinful it suddenly sounds ten times more exciting. Anyone fancy a hoe-down?

tony draper
18th May 2001, 13:44
Like most people in the Uk I welcomed the good friday agreement, but also like most peolpe in the Uk I longed for someone to put a round into that fat yarping oaf Paisley before wall to wall peace broke out.

Send Clowns
18th May 2001, 13:46
I'd be delighted, Sex Kitten, but on Radio 4 this morning a line dancer pointed out that there is absolutely no touching. I don't for a moment believe I could keep my hands off you.

;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

'Me here at last on the ground, you in mid air'

Pilot's sex kitten
18th May 2001, 13:57
Ah, but Send Clowns it depends how you do it. According to the Archers, Line Dancing is the latest scandal to hit Ambridge and I'm fairly sure from the reaction in the Bull that the duo in question were definitely touching. Maybe, this is what Paisley heard and he's worried about the mental state of Linda Snell after she witnessed such behaviour.

Anyway, like most things in life, it's not the steps themselves but how you do them that counts. ;)

village flyer
18th May 2001, 14:53
What is this "burning bush" magazine? surely that is some reference to a STD.
Now that is the devil at work.

Not to worry as soon as this oaf disappears he has is apprentice and son to replace him. Another discreet massager.

NEVER, NEVER...ULSTER SAYS NO, but the man from Del Monte he Say YES.


Feeton Terrafirma
18th May 2001, 14:57
Is your bush THAT hot Pilot's sex kitten?

I can't wait to see you in chat :)

I'm not PPRuNe addict. (just one more post)

Celtic Emerald
18th May 2001, 21:08
What a load of nonsense. If ever there was a bigot & a killjoy Paisley is one :rolleyes:

I used to do line dancing, some of the best fun I ever had. Compared to other types of dancing & many other activities I’ve engaged in it has no physical contact at all. Just good clean fun. Next he’ll be asking people to wear chastity belts not that the bigot has any authority south of the border thank God.

Jees what’ll he think of banning next lifesaving maybe. Now there was REAL physical contact when we used to give the kiss of life :)

I’ve been sent to spread the message (dum dum dum) GOD BLESS TEXAS (right Judy) :)


[This message has been edited by Celtic Emerald (edited 18 May 2001).]

Puffin Killer
18th May 2001, 21:18
The first time I saw line dancing was in a bar in Sydney Ohio USA when all the locals suddenly got up to do this line dancing thing. It was like a scene from Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’, you know the one where all the monsters do that dance.

So perhaps the Revs got a point :)


18th May 2001, 22:58
Line dancing is disgusting and immoral.

Celtic, I'm disappointed in you.

18th May 2001, 23:06
So, how do these non conformist scum regard Morris Dancing?

I am assured that the latter is one of two things that should never be tried (the other being incest).

I deplore line dancing, but purely on aesthetic grounds as it is completely devoid of charm....maybe a bit of groping,sorry touching might improve it a bit.

[This message has been edited by Loki (edited 18 May 2001).]

18th May 2001, 23:30
Loki -

Morris Dancing is for gay people, and hence degenerate. Everyone knows this.

[This message has been edited by Gerund (edited 18 May 2001).]

Cyclic Hotline
19th May 2001, 00:16
The reason that Line Dancing is the latest craze to hit the Archers and all their mates in Ambridge, is recent GOVERNMENT regulation.

Designed to limit the transmission of Foot and Mouth disease, no physical contact is permitted between potentially communicative animals.

"God alone knows what type of degenerative contact might have occurred between the local inhabitants and their domesticated creatures."(Quote from the burning bush).

If we are lucky, we might experience the on-air culling of the inhabitants of Ambridge, after they are innocently lured to the Line and Morris dancing fete, in June.... ;)

Is that show really still on? :)

Celtic Emerald
19th May 2001, 00:48

Atleast I'm not a vegetarian. Health crazed freaks the lot of them :)

Yes I'll admit it, I'm a person who enjoys a good juicy steak, preferably rare with the blood dripping out of it http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif


Don't break my heart, my achy breaky heart :)

[This message has been edited by Celtic Emerald (edited 18 May 2001).]

19th May 2001, 01:14
Somebody once said that dancing was the vertical expression of a horizontal desire.

What does this tell us about line dancing?

Discuss (50 marks)

Send Clowns
20th May 2001, 00:25
That Americans from the Mid-West don't want to touch each other when horizontal? Understandable :)

'Me here at last on the ground, you in mid air'

Pilot's sex kitten
21st May 2001, 13:41
I agree with Send Clowns. Their horizontal desire is obviously to lie side by side, carrying out their own movements without any physical contact with each other. So what dance would you say reflects your horizontal desires? I think I'd go with the Tango, all those hot Latin rythms, very close physical contact, legs wrapped around gorgeous tanned man etc.. ;)

As for your question Feeton Terrafirma. I really couldn't possibly comment!

A little of what you fancy does you good...but a lot makes you feel ecstatic.

Send Clowns
21st May 2001, 15:10
Well teach me to Tango, and you can wrap your legs around me any time, Kitty!

As an unskilled dancer, I think the Salsa is the closest I can come to my horizontal desires ;) ;)

(Like the signature :))

'Me here at last on the ground, you in mid air'

Pilot's sex kitten
21st May 2001, 15:22
Now there's an offer, but Send Clowns are you tall and gorgeous enough? Mind you, if Salsa comes close to your horizontal desires you could be the dance partner I'm looking for. As I'm lacking a dance partner at the moment, either vertical or horizontal, as long as you have rhythm you might just do!

A little of what you fancy does you good...but a lot makes you feel ecstatic.

[This message has been edited by Pilot's sex kitten (edited 21 May 2001).]

Tricky Woo
21st May 2001, 15:47
Jeans, denim shirts, cowboy boots and stetsons look silly enough when the wearer is standing still. Especially in Liverpool.

People look even sillier when they're dancing in a straight line. Remember the school disco? Lots of spotty girls dancing in a straight line to Abba songs? They looked VERY silly, didn't they? Indeed.

Line-dancing is a VERY F**KING SILLY CONCEPT.

Maybe the sweet old Reverend Ian Paisley objects on aesthetic grounds? If so, then I can see where he's coming from. For once.


Biggles Flies Undone
21st May 2001, 15:56
Namby pambys the lot of you ;) Any self respecting geezer knows the only dance worth learning is the 'last dance grapple'! You spend the evening with your mates at the bar and then, when the DJ calls last dance, you grab a likely looking female, amaze her with your dexterity as you sweep her onto the dance floor, left arm around her shoulders, right hand on her bum and joined at the groin. The girls love it :)

Biggles - temporarily without a dance partner but unsure why

Send Clowns
22nd May 2001, 00:56
I'm tall enough, Sexy Kitty, only you can decide if you think I'm gorgeous :)

'Me here at last on the ground, you in mid air'

gul dukat
22nd May 2001, 01:08
Remember that this is the bunch of zealots who for years campaigned against pub opening on sunday ....against cinemas open on sunday ...chained up childrens swings in the parks in DUP constituencies on a sunday ...campaigned against the musical Jesus Christ Superstar (but hadn't actually seen it ...lucky bleeders)so we are not talking about enlightened free thinkers here ...and we have Drumcree to come another cause celebre (...Flute in Mouth disease !! ) Mind you Paisley has even broken away from the Orange Order preferring his own brand (firebrand?)of protestant militantism .He always seems to be the only one in step !! WEIRD !! The reason we have Paisley and his cohorts and Iraq has Saddam ...is probably because the Iraqi's had first choice !!!

22nd May 2001, 01:19
As Oscar Wilde said:-

"Try anything once, except incest and folk dancing"

Breeding Per Dementia Unto Something Jolly Big, Toodle-pip

tony draper
22nd May 2001, 02:46
Plenty will be lining up to dance on Paisley's grave.

22nd May 2001, 09:20
It's been a long while since I was single, so do tell, do girls still respond better to the last-dance-grapple if you DON'T throw up over their shoulder???

Biggles Flies Undone
22nd May 2001, 15:25
Eagle – the trick is to build up a good head of pressure if you need a liquid laugh. So long as you don’t hit a big ugly geezer and remember to brush away any stray carrots or tomato skins she’ll be so enthralled by your luncheon truncheon wiggle that she won’t notice any minor indiscretion :)

25th May 2001, 03:17
Biggles the thing is that any bird left standing and that didn't have the dexterity or nouse to sidestep the lurching last dance practicioner is unlikely to even hear, let alone care about the technicolour cough that is being carried out over her shoulder. That being the case you can drag her away victoriously into the night after entrancing her with your truncheon waggle. Just be prepared to creep quietly away when you do finaly get to focus on your conquest in the morning because she was probably around for the last dance for a reason.

Biggles Flies Undone
25th May 2001, 04:37
Paterbrat - my contribution was firmly tongue-in-cheek. Sounds like you've been there mate http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif