View Full Version : Things that really pi55 me off: Part 1, On the roads

Onan the Clumsy
27th Sep 2001, 21:40
I hate it when you get stuck behind some dawdling idiot who drives like he has all the time in the world and finally makes it to the traffic light when it turns amber. He goes through and you're left there looking at red.

Anyone else got any particular favourites?

[Edited because it censored the subject :rolleyes: ]

[Edited because I can't spell - and that pisses me off too :mad: ]

[ 27 September 2001: Message edited by: Onan the Clumsy ]

27th Sep 2001, 22:20
Morons that think the outside lane is the "fast" lane and sit there as the speed slowly drops off leaving the bigger morons in the middle lane wondering why the fast lane lane is going slower than them so they slow down leaving only the inside lane free and empty for motorcylists to enjoy an unobstructed high speed run down the M1.

27th Sep 2001, 22:33
People who aw bugrit!

27th Sep 2001, 22:41
My pet hate is people who don't put their lights on in the pi##ing rain because they think it runs the battery down :mad:

Bally Heck
27th Sep 2001, 22:55
Ahh good. (rubs hands)

Councils which spend hundreds of thousands of pounds blocking off half a road, put priority signs on it and call it traffic calming. It is a point of honour for me to drive sufficiently quickly to ensure I do not get stopped by oncoming traffic.

Councils which spend hundreds of thousands of pounds putting bumps in the road restricting ones speed to 40mph (if you have half decent suspension) when three yards further on there is a ninety degree turn at a junction which Schumacher couldn't negotiate at over 10mph.

Councils which spend hundreds of thousands of pounds painting the road green for the last 6 ft before a traffic light. Then spend another grand putting a cyclist symbol in it when it would be tantamount to suicide for a row of cyclists to occupy this zone in front of a large queue of traffic.

Councils which spend hundreds of thousands of pounds painting the inside lane of a carriageway green and calling it a bus lane thus allowing loads of empty buses and taxis to take no-one somewhere very quickly. This forty years after the same council spent hundreds of thousands of index linked pounds tearing up tram lines which would have provided a superb basis for a good public transport system. And then have the nerve to tell us to use the aforementioned buses. At the risk of getting my uniform covered in chewing gum and adding twelve hours to my working day. And then threatening us with a "city centre tax."

Don't even think about starting me on news readers who get their jobs when they are congenitally incapable of saying the word "nuclear." IT IS NUCLEAR NOT "NEWKYELUR"

pant pant pant pant

27th Sep 2001, 23:15
In 40,000 miles a year you build up a lot of pet hates.

I agree with most of the above plus:

People who attach sheds on wheels behind their cars, especially when they have horses in them.

Anything obscuring the front or rear windscreen, especially if it moves or has "Baby on Board" written on it.

Rear or front fog lights on when it isn't foggy. :mad:

27th Sep 2001, 23:27
Caravans. Need I say more. Should be banned from everywhere but dual carriageways, except between the hours of 1am and 4am (just before the times I'm usually scheduled for).

Oh and whilst I'm on the matter why not stay in a hotel rather than a tin-can that costs £10 000 and makes you [email protected] in a chemical loo.

27th Sep 2001, 23:38
The one that never fails to get me shouting is slow vehicles on country roads.

I´m talking about tractors, horseboxes, people with caravans, HGVs and most frustratingly of all people who have no obvious reason for being slow but obviously subscribe to the theory that you can drive as slowly as you like, as long as you don´t speed.

I live in the country, which is nice. Every time I want to go anywhere during daylight hours I find myself stuck behind someone driving really slowly. I´m not saying I want to speed, but these people take the **** . The fact is that septegenarians pottering along at forty miles an hour for mile after mile while building up a queue of angry people trying to actually get somewhere cause accidents. I regularly find myself coming around a bend on the A281 only to find myself face to face with some desperado in a repmobile who´s patience has run so thin that they´ve attempted a kamikaze overtaking move. Experience has taught me the folly of such moves because there´s always another convoy leader three miles up the road.

Here´s a thought for these people: If you´re so dedicated to driving twenty miles an hour slower than the rest of the world then why not look in your mirror every so often? If there´s a queue there then pull over at the next layby and let everyone else get on with their day. It´s not like you´re in any particular hurry is it?

28th Sep 2001, 00:24
Now that it's getting dark in the evenings again we're back to the old favourite - the idiots who dawdle along the country lanes with their headlights dipped even when there's no other traffic for miles.

Stuck behind 'em for miles as they peer into the darkness.

Put your blOOdy headlights on full, then we can get along at a reasonable speed for crying out loud !!!

And no, sidelights plus fogs doesn't help you see any better either :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

28th Sep 2001, 00:35
Grainger, I think we´re talking about the same people!

Their mindset is: "If I put the high beams on, thus illuminating the road ahead of me I will only encourage that speed-crazed and probably drug-addicted maniac behind me to overtake at the first straight bit of road"

I´d honestly like to see the police intervene when people drive like this. Perhaps with guns.

28th Sep 2001, 00:50
All two-and-a-half ton 4 x 4s. Especially the ones driven by a posh looking woman with an on-the-way-to-school tot in the back seat.

Bull bars designed to fend off kangaroos and the like, but likely to kill a kid in Purley instead.

Hot saloons stuck (like everyone else) on the M25, but which nevertheless have spoilers that are ineffective under 120 mph.

People who sit 2 yards from your tail in heavy traffic, when you are already doing 80, who hurtle by when you are able to move over, then head for the exit at a 45 degree angle, 200 yards later.

People who get in my way, because my journey is important.

Bloody tourists, which is the definition of other people on holiday.

All French drivers.

All drivers of Astra diesel vans, especially those with a copy of the Sun wedged behind the speedo.



Everybody else.

Thank you nurse, yes I will come for my tablets now.......

28th Sep 2001, 00:58
Number One Hate at the moment are those ****s who pull straight into the parking place I'm about to reverse into, putting themselves halfway across the kerb in the process. There are words that I use in such circumstances but I'm sure readers don't need me to recite them here.

Data Dad
28th Sep 2001, 03:06
All the above plus the wan**rs who pull out of side roads right in front of me (usually without looking) causing me to brake sharply and then proceed to stop 200yds up the road whilst they try to turn right across an unending flow of oncoming traffic..... coo! sounds a bit like being at work ;)

henry crun
28th Sep 2001, 03:39
The ones who get up my nose when I am behind them are the ultra cautious who wait at an intersection until there is no traffic for at least a couple of miles in either direction before venturing across.

28th Sep 2001, 04:36
Drivers who somehow got it into their heads that it was effective to drive automatics with both feet - thereby causing the brake lights to be on all the time or just flicker on and off, randomly, often.

Drivers who are licensed to drive without glasses but can't see motorcycles at any distance.

Cardinal Puff
28th Sep 2001, 07:55
The drivers who slow down to a crawl when approaching a green stoplight then accelerate across as it turns amber thus causing a whole line of vehicles behind them to have to stop.

The speed demons in huge lorries doing 19mph on a two lane highway. Problem is the one in the fast lane doing 19 and 1/4 mph trying to pass the other on a hill and causing a 2 mile backup of traffic.

Taxi drivers who, when you allow them into the traffic flow ahead of you, will angle across you then wait for traffic in the next lane and the next because they're on the wrong side of a four lane road to take the next corner 20 yds ahead. Just go ONE block farther along, you idiots, then turn.

Guaranteed to transform me into a tyre biting, carpet chewing maniac.

28th Sep 2001, 08:55
I have one of those 2.5 ton 4X4s with the wrap around cow pusher on the front, my sister calls it a " high performance dog killer " and it looks like a little toy compared to some of the vehicles people here drive :p
My pet peeve on the roadways are those that slam on the brakes at the first sign of a Police car, they'll do it if they're going well under the speed limit as well as over! And the other champions who can't seem to drive past an accident scene without gawking so much that they darn near ( and in some cases do ) cause another accident.

28th Sep 2001, 10:42
I hate with a pasion those that dawdle along at 70 or 80 km/h then speed up when they come to an overtaking lane, Tailgaters should be shot rooted and burned. :mad:

Takan Inchovit
28th Sep 2001, 11:10
...... and then rolled, bowled and @rseholed!

28th Sep 2001, 11:30
I also hate 2.5 ton 4 x 4's and people carriers because you can't see past them when they are holding you up in the outside lane.

28th Sep 2001, 12:05
Looks like we have a coalition of the English speaking world on this one!

28th Sep 2001, 12:07
Taxi/hackney drivers in Dublin - [email protected]!!

Bus Lanes....reducing the space on major roads by 50% (it'd be OK if Dublin Bus ran a decent service & actively encouraged those that can to leave their cars at home).

Learner drivers on motorways - you're not meant to be there so stay the f**k away! :mad:

Honda Civic/Mitsubishi Colt/etc. driving, baseball cap wearing, alloy wheel, tinted windowed idiots that push the cost of insurance premiums up...

Cyclists - red means stop!

Whoever designed the M1, M50 etc over here...motorways have 3 lanes not 2!! :mad:

28th Sep 2001, 13:49
I prefer to hate the Government authorities who take buckets of fees and taxes from us all, yet who allow anyone and everyone to use the roads, whether they can drive or not.


Biggles Flies Undone
28th Sep 2001, 14:08
I'm with the anti-horse box brigade. I live out in the sticks and these contraptions are a total bloody menace - driving along at 15-20 mph and crawling around corners. They compete with their horses in point-to-points and hunts, which frequently injure horses, and yet they treat the animals like Ming china on the roads. [email protected]! :mad:

Oh yes, and old codgers wearing trilby hats that drive knackered old Volvos.

SLF 999
28th Sep 2001, 14:28
The MLOC - Middle Lane Owners Club (usually doing 50 mph and pi55ing everone else off)

People pulling out without indicators, people slamming on the brakes at speed camera markings (even when there is no camera there)

Rush hour on the M8 and Edinburgh Bypass

People not reading road signs, if the bus lane is available from 9:30 till 4:30 for all to use then Ill use it and you can sit in your long queue, but dont blow the horn cos Im passing you - read the f**king signs !

Thank god its friday !

28th Sep 2001, 15:08
People who think the indicator turns the wheels. You know the ones; there's a kilometre long queue of cars in the left lane waiting for thle lights to change and one car in the right lane. You take the chance, the lights change and he puts his indicator on.. GRRRR!!!!!

People who think they are paying for the elecricity when they turn their lights on; Hey, I don't need lights, I can see where I'm going!

People who zoom up to a T intersection or roundabout assuming there will be no traffic to give way to, have a quick look and see you coming then keep going looking straight ahead because if you can't see it it can't be happening.

ALL aforementioned 4x4's, w*nk-mobiles all of them. To follow a fundamental tenet of defensive driving and look at what's happening three or four cars ahead you have to be 150 metres behind these bloody tanks. And worse than that, the height the driver sits above the rest of the world seems to generate a sense of superiority and make them immune to road rules.

People who have no idea what merge in turn means. They'll run you off the road to protect one car length.

Baseball-cap wearing youths in mobile boom boxes who pull up next to you and your young family at the lights with obscenity-riddled rap music playing at a volume that makes their car bounce.

Young male drivers.

Old male drivers.

Old female drivers.

Young female drivers.

Come to think of it, how did any of you bastards get licences when I'm the only one who deserves one?

Right! that's the roads taken care of... what's the next chapter?

28th Sep 2001, 16:18
So the thing that gets right up my nose is you will have been drive for twenty miles down a dead straight road or a dual carriage way and just as you come to the end of the Dual carriage way or end of the straight bit of road there is one of the following things:
Tractor,Lorry,metal box hotel which all insist on driving at 30mph you then spend the next :eek: 20 miles :mad: :eek: :confused: until you hit the next stretch of straight road or dual and there is nothing for the next 20miles..... :confused: :D ;)

28th Sep 2001, 19:17
Old t**ts that drive at a constant 39MPH WHATEVER the situation. ie:
-Down a two mile straight that you could safely do the legal limit or more
-Through bends so tight that the tyres screach if you try to follow them
-Through 30 limit villages
-Past primary schools at 3:30 and there are 200 kids trying to kill themselves in front of a car.
What is their thinking? That 39 mph is safe for all conditions? That they'll save fuel by not accelerating or decelerating?
They're bloody anoying when the road is open and f***ing dangerous when it isn't.
P.S. I also hate most (alright, all) of the above mentioned and especially the ones that never put on full beam at night so you can't see round them :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
Edited for spelling (I'm not deslexic, it's just that sometimes the letters come out the wrong way round.)

[ 28 September 2001: Message edited by: Captain James Bigglesworth ]

GPS Approach
28th Sep 2001, 20:01
F***ing BUS Drivers, who think they own the road, and just because it says in the Highway Code that you should let buses pull out, they automatically think they can no matter if someone is two thirds of the way past them, thus causing the said car driver to swerve violenty onto the other carriageway or apply brakes very sharply, either way nearly causing an accident. B***ards! :mad: :mad: :mad:

Don D Cake
28th Sep 2001, 20:18
People carriers with one people in them - TOSSERS.
4x4s in the town centre - B***ARDs

And my pet hate at the moment? Complete and utter twats who think the speed limit on a dual carriageway in Britain is 60mph. "There's a car behing you dear and its flashing its lights and the driver looks quite upset. Why don't you pull over and let him pass". "I'm doing the speed limit, lovey, that's fast enough for him"
ITS 70 YOU B***ARD B***ARDS :mad: :mad: :mad:

[ 28 September 2001: Message edited by: Don D Cake ]

pax anglia
28th Sep 2001, 23:49
The cretins who pull up against the traffic on a dark winter's morning while they buy their ghastly tabloid newspaper and leave their headlights on! Most of them seem so terminally boneheaded that they cannot understand that what they are doing is akin to driving on the continent without having adjusted their headlights first!
And why do most of them wear baseball hats?

28th Sep 2001, 23:52
The Guvnor!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

pax anglia
28th Sep 2001, 23:59
And now I've started.....
Cyclists who believe that the Law applies to everyone except them.
I've seen them proceed the wrong way round a roundabout,cycle the wrong way up a one way street,ignore traffic lights (and every other traffic sign and signal)and cycle on the wrong side of the road.When they're not doing any or all of the above,the ghastly
b*****s cycle on the footpath and expect the poor pedestrian to get out of THEIR way! Failure to do so inevitably triggers a torrent of abuse and implicit or actual threats of violence!
I feel better for that.May we have the screens please,Nurse?

[ 28 September 2001: Message edited by: pax anglia ]

Danish Pilot
29th Sep 2001, 00:16
One once said:

"I am an a**hole, I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane, while people behind me are going insane, sometimes I park in the hadicaped spaces, while handicaped people make handicaped faces, yep, I am an a**hole"

obnoxio f*ckwit
29th Sep 2001, 02:38
At the risk of repeating myself and many others:

I have a question for old retired couples:

Why do you shop at the weekend? You have all week to shuffle round Tescos dithering over which brand of cat food to buy for Tiddles. I, on the other hand, only get the weekend to do all of the shopping etc etc. and it is really starting to pi55 me off when I get stuck behind another set of old crumblies who can barely stand up tutting over the price of haemorrhoid cream or hairnets.

So my plea to old people is:


Back to the middle lane for me then, only to find it inhabited by some other f*ckwit (usually a fat woman with crap specs in a Micra) who has a congenital inability to do anything other than stare straight ahead and pretend there's no-one else around.

I therefore have another plea:


Do you know what the little orange flashing lights on the side of the car are for? You know the ones, they sit by the headlights that you flash at me if I am going the other way and have the temerity to overtake one of your aged brothers (usually doing 28mph on a wide open 60mph road in their 6 litre Jag while wearing a hat) while within a 3 mile radius of you? You have them on the back too, by the fog lights that you seem unable to resist putting on the moment the visibility comes below a million miles.


[ 28 September 2001: Message edited by: obnoxio f*ckwit ]

Stiff Lil' Fingers
29th Sep 2001, 02:52
1. People who honk their horns thinking that it will make drivers move out the way sooner
2. Bus drivers who stop and talk to each other from their cabs, blocking all traffic behind them.

W*nkers, splitters all of them.

29th Sep 2001, 07:35
My pet hate is the @rseholes that are about my own age that have daddies nice new car (usually nnow thier own) that have nice hotted up stereos that cost more than the car itself, thinking that they own the god damn road and that we should all respect them more because I have a tiny little gemini with one speaker and just a poor old tape deck. Give me a god damn break. Or get the f**k outta my way when I am working. You take to much damn time to check everyone else oput that you never watch where you are going and destroy my little car. F**KERS now pi55 off :f

FB :mad:

I am only 20 myself so I am one of the hotheads but these [email protected] just pi55 me off

29th Sep 2001, 09:25
Im with you flyboy!!!! Come down to my university and see all the done up cars with steroes that are too loud and expensive for most nightclubs!!! Plus all the accessories like driving lights, high intensity blue and yellow lights that have very little purpose but to distract the attention of other drivers from the task of driving their own cars. My own pet hate are these relativly small sports cars with brand new rear spoilers. One i recently saw must have been an aircraft wing in another life. I still dont understand why they upgrade their engines for, i mean the speed limit doesnt change coz u got a different engine.

The funniest thing i did see with these types of cars is a done up Nissan Micra. These cars are tiny for those who dont know it. It had a new front and rear spoiler, was lowered, had side skirts, loud music was playing and it came up to a speed hump :) I kid you not it got stuck on the top of the hump. The wheel base is not very long and the side skirts were stuck on the speed hump while the front wheels were spinning like crazy. It really made my day.

Drivers of pre 1980 cars and all those without a CD player unite!!!!

29th Sep 2001, 10:51
MY BIGGEST pet peaves on the road..

people who drive right up yer A$$ and you are doing 120kmph

people who DON"T dim thier lights when they are driving towards you when it's dark.. the F'ING things are blinding me.. I DIM MY LIGHTS!! YOU CAN DIM YOURS!!!!!!!

people who are driving behind you and they have thier lights on high beam!!! again you're blinding me via the mirrors

Huge transport trucks that drive a million miles an hour in white out snow conditions
and almost knock you off the road !!!

The list could go on forever!!!!!! ARRRRRGGGGGGGG!!!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:

pax anglia
29th Sep 2001, 13:37
I've got a little list....
1)BMW drivers who can't see an outside lane without getting into it.They seem completely oblivious of the fact that there is a stationary tank transporter 200yds ahead,or two lanes merge into one,or that they are in the wrong lane for the junction ahead.
However they do know that the traffic will miraculously part in the manner of the Waters of the Red Sea to let them in.Why do all BMW drivers seem to be called Jeremy?
2)The Volvo estates that tear past at 80mph in a 60mph area crammed to the gunwhales with
kids and exhibit a "Child on Board" sticker.Chillingly they often sport stickers exhorting the Nation to "Give Blood".I've little doubt these drivers are often in the forefront of Road Safety campaigns to protect their children,but go around endangering other people's.
3)Anyone driving any vehicle whilst wearing a Baseball Cap. (Esp when worn back to front).See and avoid.
4)Any vehicle sporting a sticker supplied by a tabloid newspaper,especially the"Daily Mail".
5)Boy racers.They're usually called Wayne and the female of the species tends to rejoice in a name like "Kylie Marie".Imagine the scene in the Old Folks Home when she's 85."Here's your dentures,Kylie Marie".
6)Drivers who get in the left hand lane at a roundabout when they wish to take the third exit.
7)Drivers who get in the left hand lane when they wish to do a 180 at a roundabout thus obstructing everyone on the inside in the process.
8)Cyclists who do not use lights during the hours of darkness.If you're lucky you spot them as they momentarily obscure the tail light(s) of the vehicle in front.
9)Personalised number plates.No matter how the characters are mis-spaced or misrepresented,they still spell PRAT.
10)And finally....
Whilst driving along a busy urban or suburban street you spot a Fire Engine coming the other way along the middle of the road as it passes the other traffic that has slowed down for it.Being the public spirited sort that you are,you pull in asap,this then provides the idiot behind with an overtaking opportunity which he proceeds to grasp with both hands.The Fire Engine has headlights full on,Blue and Red flashing lights and a siren that would wake the dead at a range of several miles.As far as "attention getters" go Mr.Boeing couldn't do any better,but said idiot still hasn't cottoned on.Eventually the penny begins to drop and slowly he realises that the machine coming towards him is the size of a small house,probably weighs about 12 tons,is doing 40mph and heading straight for him.There is a sudden sound of a mind being concentrated.What do these people need?B****y TCAS?

"They'll none of 'em be missed,
They'll none of 'em be missed"

[ 29 September 2001: Message edited by: pax anglia ]

[ 29 September 2001: Message edited by: pax anglia ]

29th Sep 2001, 14:44
What really gets me down, are these trumped up tarts on Italian motorbikes that leave me for dead while I’m going ‘flat chat’ along the highway in my little ole’ Hilux … ooooohhhhhh, what a feeling! :(

29th Sep 2001, 15:49
Speaking of bells and whistles, and at the risk of hijacking the thread, I have to tell you the tale of T. Boogers, (I kid you not) who was one of those fortunate classmates of mine in the last year of school fortunate enough to have a car.

This car was a 1961 Holden (Vauxhall equivalent unknown) and Mr. Boogers had assembled a row of toggle switches on the otherwise unadorned dashboard, each switch activating a light immediately above it and absolutely nothing else. On the ceiling he had another row of toggles similarly connected. Jeez, but it looked impressive!

The pre-flight checks had to be seen to be believed and were reputed to have lead to wet panties all over the Gold Coast. Looking back, and now somewhat more aware of what is likely to make a lady's undergarments moist, I wonder who was kidding whom?

But I still get a laugh 30 years later.....

29th Sep 2001, 21:39
All of the above plus the **** who, last week, drove his car across the front of mine and scraped the bumper (but shagged both his doors and front and rear wings!) then, when asked for his name and address for me to forward the bill, said "Oh. Did you want it fixed then?"

Feckers the lot of 'em.

30th Sep 2001, 01:52
1 Anybody who drives one of those feggin' repugnant looking Fiat Multipla edifices.Something THAT hideous should not exist in nature.
2 Those tw**s who,when you're overtaking them deliberately put the foot down in order to make life difficult for you.Damn your asses!!
3 B****** lorry drivers who throw up gallons of water,salt & general c**p in their wake/pull onto roundabouts,causing you to perform an emergency stop/dawdle along B roads at 30mph causing malignant hypertension,etc.Knights of the Road? Bwaahahaha.
4 Dammit I can't hold it in any more..Other women drivers..God forgive me,but I'd like to kick the crap out of 80% of them,in spite of my gender.Those @hole Stepford wives who 'drive' 4x4s like cretins,old dears who dawdle along at 20mph & plain,simple f***wits who can't reverse into parking spaces I'd quite like just to have immolated.They are a disgrace who should stay at home or take the bloody bus.
Aaah.The 'couldn't find their own ass in the dark with both hands' brigade.God spare us..

Bern Oulli
30th Sep 2001, 11:49
I'm with everyone on this one. One of my "hates" is when you are doing the legal limit, in this case 40mph, on a road where 41+ would be unwise, and there is a lunatic in his heavily decorated Mark1 Cortina climbing all over your boot trying to get past. He ultimately succeeeds on a straightish stretch not quite long enough for safety. On one occassion the pay-off came 400 yards later when I passed the cretin heavily engaged in conversation with a flat-capped guy wearing a yellow reflective jacket and carrying a sort of camera thingy.
YES! YES! YES! A result.

Baseball caps are worn backwards to hide the scar from the lobotomy operation.

Kermit 180
30th Sep 2001, 13:07
1. 4x4's that have never been offroad and their drivers who believe theyre invincible.

2. Drivers of small hatch backs and sedans with dustbins for exhausts to give a V8 sound when the thing never actually produces as much power as a shopping trolley with a chainsaw motor on it.

3. The same drivers with lowered suspension and seats lowered so much they cant see over the dash, and windows nearly popping out from music that is so bad they believe everyone should have to hear it.

4. People who slow down 200 metres short of an intersection, then when the lights change speed up to get through leaving you behind, sitting there fuming at their incompetence.

5. People who have one speed, who drive at 30 km/h below the speed limit on country roads (no passing lane and endless streams of vehicles coming the other way), then do the same speed in the suburbs.

6. Police cars that tail gate you and wait for you to get p***ed off and accelerate and break the speed limit, or pull over and forget to indicate due to your concern at the large words 'ECILOP' in the rearview mirror.

7. Cyclists who stop at red lights alongside you and lean on your car's bonnet. :mad:

8. So much more, but thatll do for now. This is an excellent thread!

Kermie :mad: :D

pax anglia
30th Sep 2001, 13:09
And while I'm on the subject....
The CRETINS who have to take the line of least resistance through a roundabout,carving up everybody else in the process simply because they're on the phone and can't steer the b****y thing properly with one hand.
Then there are the complete arses who park their wretched 4x4's on the pavement making life difficult for everyone else.Can't they get it into their thick skulls that this is not what is meant by "Off Road" driving? I'm glad I have had my injections this morning,because without them I have been known to get slightly tetchy.

[ 30 September 2001: Message edited by: pax anglia ]

30th Sep 2001, 14:26
Horse riders, or at least the ones who ride at night with no reflective clothing or lights! I`m not kidding! And the ones who emerge from bridlepaths without looking and then proceed to glare at one for being there at 20mph on a racing bike.

pax anglia
30th Sep 2001, 15:34
And yet another thing....
The idiots who try to reverse a 6FT wide car into a 5FT 6INS gap in a multi-storey car park thus bringing the whole place to a grinding halt all the way back to the street.Yes,you've guessed it-yet another b****y 4x4.
Incidentally,in the October edition of "The Countryman" (probably not compulsory reading for the average PPRuNer I'll admit,but not without it's merits) there is a splendid article about 4x4's in towns.You think I'm splenetic? Read it and you'll see I am but a Lamb.

30th Sep 2001, 18:42
Kids who walk in the middle of a f*king residential street then stare blindingly at you when you come driving towards them round a corner.
It gets made worse when we're told speed is the main factor in rta's. Sorry.. it's stupidity.
Also like some have said middle lane sitters.. I want a machine gun under the reg no' and an oil dispenser in the boot!

2nd Oct 2001, 00:33
Lets start a campaign to ban 4x4's for everyone that doesn't own at least 10 acres of land with a bleedin' great hill to drive it up. Part of the ownership requirements should be a requisite number of sheep/cows/pigs etc or production of enuff foodstuffs. Anyway what sort of 4x$ is a Vauxhall Frontera or something called Serena or Gladys or equally silly names.

Next time someone drives up your *rse in a 40 limit settle your pink and squashies back in the seat slow down to 35 and then when you leave the restricted area drop it into second and floor it... watch 'em dissappear into the background, that really p*sses them off.

I hate stupid little japcrap cars. (except MX5's cos they usually contain lovely drivers)

Penelope Pitstop and her bl**dy pony in or out of the box (except grown up Penelope of course on a hot sunny day with her t*ts a bouncing astride said horse).

Let's get this debate going here is a bit of controversy........
In defence of mobile hotels, powered ones and towed ones.

My 2.8 turbo deisel motorhome will cruise comfortably at 80 mph (and frequently does) and will see off many cars away from the lights. Its only white van man underneath and you know how fast they can go. Yes it is slower round the corners unless you want the china all over the floor but hey, if I think I am holding up traffic I always pull over or slow down at a straight bit so people can overtake. A used to tow a 26 foot fibreglass box on the back of a 4 litre tow car and that was well capable of travelling and sssssstopping safely at similar speeds. Most big Mercs/Beemers/Volvos etc even with a house on the back will out drag your average car under 1600cc.

What gets all of us motorhome owners and caravanners a bad reputation is the t*ssers that insist on attaching a 30 foot trailer to the back of a 1300cc Austin Maestro and then load in bikes, kids, grandma and set off at 25mph. Its a SMALL MINORITY there are not many like that these days ( thank God!)

Just you little car drivers stop pulling out of the inside lane of the motorway into my path cos you THINK I am bigger and only travelling at 50 miles an hour and making me stand on the brakes spilling my nice cold beer straight out of the fridge whilst you are having to suffer luke warm drinkies.! T*ssers.

I shall now don tin helmet and duck...... no wait, I will probably look silly wearing a duck....

2nd Oct 2001, 05:35
People that try to jump the queue when the lane(s) ahead have been coned off make my blood boil. The queue is made worse by them jumping in front of you/us/me in the queue.

I'm one of those people that blocks you, you F%CKING [email protected]!!!! Join the f%cking queue like the rest of us (nervous twitch starting).

Drivers that cause massive tailbacks in the country. Look in the bloody mirror you selfish [email protected] If there's more than 500 cars behind you then pull into to a lay-by for 5 minutes. <twitch> <twitch>

And please don't refer to hatchbacks/saloons/coupes etc as a sports car, they're not, Sports cars have 2 (two) seats not 4 (four). A Subaru Imprezza, although reasonably sporty, is NOT a sports car, a Lotus Esprit IS a sports car.

Anyone want a 'What Really Pleases Me' thread started? :D :D

And another thing... <twitch> <twitch> <twitch>

2nd Oct 2001, 05:40
I will start with:

White van drivers, do they get their brains surgically removed once the job is theirs.
The we have taxi's for whom indicators are an optional extra.
Middle lane drivers there because they can be.
People who insist on sitting on your bumper at 80MPH when can't get out the way.
Parents who drive their kids to school and then block up all the roads.
Selfish parkers who block me in!
Speed cameras hidden behind sign posts, trees or bushes whose pretense is to improve safety not bank balances of the police.

2nd Oct 2001, 06:38
People that try to jump the queue when the lane(s) ahead have been coned off make my blood boil. The queue is made worse by them jumping in front of you/us/me in the queue.

You should try reading the Highway Code!

Cardinal Puff
2nd Oct 2001, 07:23

For those special people who park you in just carry a large pair of sidecutters in your car and have a little patience. If you're lucky a non offending driver will fetch his vehicle in a while leaving your escape route clear. Just cut the valves off the tyres of the offending driver's vehicle and make your getaway. One valve will do but cutting the valves off two tyres is guaranteed to raise the blood pressure.

2nd Oct 2001, 12:14

Banana99 is absolutely correct. The correct procedure to follow when one or more lanes is blocked is for the traffic to MERGE IN TURN. The problems you describe are actually caused by too many drivers pulling into the open lane too early. This makes the problem inevitable. For permanent situations I think they should introduce a new road sign which looks like a zip. This might help to get the message across.

And I would not dream of calling my Impreza a sports car - its much better than that.

I do agree with you about drivers who build up a queue behind them. :mad:

Cornish Jack
2nd Oct 2001, 13:54
Sufficiently on-topic, I think.
Is there something about the vehicles, or is it the owners, which makes certain marques the preferred mounts for wazzocks?
I refer to Volvos (of course), 4x4s (naturally), BMWs (goes with the territory) and MPVs (Renault did nobody any favours with THAT piece of design imbecility) . From some 12 plus years of observation, these particular types seem to attract the major percentage of those with the driving skills of dissociated goats.
My occasional driving companion and myself used to discuss this phenomenon and could not decide re. Volvo drivers whether they bought them because they were congenitally stupid or because their brains had atrophied after the purchase due to lack of use.
For those who feel that I am being unfair in excluding the army of VW Golf dumbkopfs, they are so demonstrably into cloud-cuckoo land that it goes without saying.
BTW, it shouldn't need saying but I will do anyway...... multi-carriageway roads have ONE driving lane (the INSIDE one), the remainder are for OVERTAKING. If you are not overtaking and there is nobody inside you, get over!!! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A FAST or SLOW LANE... ohhh why bother, the wazzocks outnumber the rest of us. :mad:
edited for sp. (pointed out by 4PO4PIN - oh the shame of it!! spellchecked by a NAVIGATOR!!) :o :o

[ 02 October 2001: Message edited by: Cornish Jack ]

2nd Oct 2001, 14:09

I too have discussed this with friends and we think the reasoning behind Volvo drivers is that either,

a) They are basically cráp drivers, sh!t scared of driving and therefore want to surround themselves with a tank, or

b) they are cráp drivers, not scared of the road who get a sense of invulnerability when surrounded by aforesaid tank and therefore drive like nutters.

Always beware of drivers with any sort of hat on :mad:

Soaring Sprog
2nd Oct 2001, 17:18
Exellent thread.

Personally I cant stand people who are always on the horn. If someone carves you up or whatever, and you manage to miss them, why not just shut the f*ck up and get on with your life? You are alive! There is no damage! Whats the point of going mental, slamming the horn, gesticulating like a retard....?

It's there to warn others of your presence, most berks on the road seem to think its there as a means of abuse, for giving people "a pice of your mind."
[email protected] No wonder there is so much road rage.

PS: One other thing always puzzles me...When from time to time you are taking the racing line round a bend, perhaps just a smidge over the white line, and someone comes round the corner the other way. In the 3.5 nanoseconds in which you have appeared in view, and dissapeared past them, how the hell do they manage to get their hand to the horn?? And perhaps more importantly, why is their hand not on the wheel assisting in avoiding the imminent collision which they clearly think is about to take place?
:mad: :mad:

2nd Oct 2001, 17:45
West Country Folk who are almost as decrepit as their smokey old Citroen's and who cannot even bother to spell my handle correctly!!

Where would you be without a Directional Consultant to look towards you!?
Nice try tho' CJ ;)

2nd Oct 2001, 18:11
On the subject of hats and driving, anyone who is as ancient as me will remember when a flat cap, a pair of string back gloves and a straight through exhaust were all you needed to create the Mike Hawthorn, sporty look and sound.

It seems strange that, ever since then, the wearing of a flat cap seems to ensure that you will be limited to 40 mph in the centre of the road. It also seems to ensure that you are a small man with a very large wife. Both to be avoided at all costs!

Another phenomenum on motorways is that people who drive with their thumbs outside the steering wheel seem to be completely unaware of anything going on around them. Me sexist? Never. :rolleyes:

Soaring Sprog
2nd Oct 2001, 18:29
Pulse1- good point about hats. Another one is the straw bowter (spelling?) It is usually positioned on the parcel shelf of an aged Rover, and if you end up behind one of those (usually on a Sunday) you're in for a long wait.

2nd Oct 2001, 19:08
On the subject of horns:

Anyone wonder why they're there at all?

Last Saturday night I was driving down a country lane at around 10.30pm. I was approaching a pub on the right hand side, at about 60mph (the legal limit), and there was one car coming in the other direction. A further car was waiting to leave the pub car park.

The oncoming car passed the pub several seconds before I did. As soon as he'd passed, the driver waiting to leave the pub car park pulled out to turn right - directly in front of me. It was quite clear that he simply hadn't seen me - although God knows how he missed me, even if he had just had a beer or two.

I immediately hit the brake, and also hit the horn in the hope that he'd notice me and take some avoiding action. Well, he noticed me alright. But did he take avoiding action? Of course he bl00dy didn't! Instead, he just stuck his foot on the brake! Yes, that's right - stopped, right across the road. So now, instead of being dangerously close to me, moving out of my way, and accelerating away from me - he was dangerously close to me, blocking both sides of the road, stationary, with no where for me to go! Well that's f*cking great, isn't it!

I did manage to stop, with less than 3 feet to spare. Even after that, the other driver appeared to be too shaken by the close call to move off, so I went first, using the grass verge to get around him.

Discussing the incident afterwards with my passenger, we decided that it would have been better had I not used my horn - he'd probably never have noticed me, he'd have accelerated away from me, and although I'd have had to brake hard, we would have been much less close to each other.

So the question is, what the f*ck is the point of the horn if it does more harm than good?????


gravity victim
2nd Oct 2001, 20:40
I liked Jasper Carrott's monologue about his old gran, who never did more than 35mph anywhere. "She's driven for fifty years and never had an accident - mind you, she's seen hundreds!"

pax anglia
2nd Oct 2001, 22:43
The unwillingness of some drivers to signal,especially at roundabouts,has been mentioned more than once on this thread.My own local observations would suggest that if they have no-one behind them they think that there is no point in signalling.So what happens?You try to join a roundabout and the prize idiot approaching from your right zooms off along the road from which you are trying to enter,leaving you sitting there.All because he is too dim to realise that other people might-just might-be interested in his intentions.You've heard of MENSA? Well,these [email protected]@ers would be prime candidates for DENSA,a new organisation for the intellectually challenged.

3rd Oct 2001, 03:15
Ah time to vent some anger.

1. The Muppet lorry driver who decides you need to be aquatinted with the central reservation of the dual carriageway because he didn’t check his mirrors.

2. The aforementioned driver who decides to overtake the truck in front that he has been slipstreaming for the past ten minutes. At the first crawler lane he pulls out gets alongside then matches the other lorries speed perfectly, B*****ds.

3. Yep, the lorry driver again who undoubtedly gets his kicks by crushing cars on the inside of him at roundabouts?

4. People who are clearly in the process of changing lanes that decide the appropriate time to use indicators is shortly after straddling both lanes.

5. The lorry carring, or more often than not shedding its load of, hay/straw/etc. :mad: :mad: :mad:

[ 02 October 2001: Message edited by: sharp'n'pointy ]

3rd Oct 2001, 05:27
Great thread - you should really try driving in California though (or most US States, come to think of it. Because it is legal to overtake in any lane, you really have to watch your backside as [email protected] weave in and out, attempting to gain a few tenths of a second over a ten mile commute.

California drivers make UK drivers look like saints - even those posh [email protected] in big Mercs who are too f***ing tight to fork out for the last optional extra - INDICATORS.

At least the UK driving test contains a modicum of difficulty - the US test is an absolute joke.

Having said that - BAN tractors from British single-carriageway roads during the hours of daylight, unless they can have that other optional extra - more than one gear! :)

3rd Oct 2001, 05:56
Also heard that in America, horns are used a hell of a lot less.

Apparantly this is to do with the fact that it is hard to tell which Americans have weapons and which ones would use them on you or your car if u beep them.

3rd Oct 2001, 11:45
You have nothing to complain about try driving in Kuwait!!!!

3rd Oct 2001, 20:49
So there we have it by consensus of opinion the worst drivers in the Uk drive heavily customised Volvo's, wear caps and sit in the middle lane expecting everyone else to go exactly the same speed as them and not a jot over 70mph!

Hang on a minute, I know this bloke he pulled me over on the M25 for a chat, even had a nice reflective jacket with polite written on it....

Anyway on the subject of Volvos being slow old barges you lot have been spending too much time in the clouds - next time you try to beat one off the lights unless you are in something pretty nifty make sure it doesn't have T4 or T5 written on the back or you wont see it for dust.

Check Wheels
4th Oct 2001, 22:45
And I thought all the useless bastard idiot drivers were in Australia - nice to know that everywhere else has them too! :eek:

5th Oct 2001, 12:08
And a special thank you to the tosser who carved me up yesterday.

Overtaking on the left is never a good idea - especially on a roundabout you stupid fukker !!! :mad: :mad: :mad:

5th Oct 2001, 21:37
Spucking Ceed Fameras

At points other than dangerous junctions and schools.

ie behind roadsigns and other stuff

5th Oct 2001, 22:50
Apparently there's a Dutch website with plenty of innovative ways of teaching the spuckers the error of their ways.

The one that gave me the most laughs was where you find an opening in the casing and fill up the inside with industrial foam which then sets rock-hard. Bwahahahaha :D :D :D

6th Oct 2001, 00:55
I always take great care if I spot any driver wearing a hat. If they aren't bright enough to realise it doesn't rain inside cars then they aren't likely to be much good at driving. To$$ers.

The generation of elderly drivers in UK who were never required to take a driving test (because there wasn't one), would be incapable of passing one today and never looked at the Highway Code either. To$$ers.

Doris and Albert out for a gentle Sunday drive in the 30 year old Rover with water pi$$ing out of the cold exhaust because it never goes over 35 mph or 1500 rpm. While they are looking out for pretty trees and stuff I have been stuck behind them for the past 10 miles, trying to get to work. To$$ers.

Drivers with crap night vision who drive in the dark at 37 mph in the 60 limit (with dipped headlights of course) then speed up in the brightly lit 50 limit with the speed cameras so you can't overtake. To$$ers.

As for those supposedly professional drivers of artics - complete to$$ers. Phone or CB mike in one hand, sandwich or vacuum flask in the other, newspaper out across the lap and dirty old rag tied on the wing mirror. But of course they are more skilled than anyone else because they have an HGV licence. Artics? Join them all together in long lines, put them on rails where they belong and call them trains. To$$ers.

People who drive a 35 grand car but are too tight or too stupid to buy a hands-free kit for the mobile phone which is constantly stuck to their ear and their head is stuck up their backside. To$$ers.

Idiots who believe that front fogs are to be seen by, not with, so they drive for days with sidelights and fogs on even though it is 10 kms plus. To$$ers.

Morons who stare straight ahead whilst on my side of the road while I swerve into the kerb because they couldn't be bothered to slow down to give way past that parked car on their side. To$$ers.

Those with faulty earthing on the rear lights so that all the lights come on when the brakes are applied. You can't tell if they are indicating, braking, reversing, warning of a hazard or think it's dark. To$$ers.

All of you to$$ers - get off my road.

As for the to$$er who nicked your parking spot or blocked you in - as an alternative to cutting off the tyre valves, let the tyres down and put matchsticks and superglue down the valve innards. Then loan them your footpump and watch them bust a gut trying to blow the tyres up again. Failing that, just spray chainlube on their brake discs and go on your way with the satisfaction of a good job well done (no, not really).


6th Oct 2001, 00:59
Hi Grainger,

Is it www.tuftufclub.nl (http://www.tuftufclub.nl) ? Yeah it must be, its great!!

8th Oct 2001, 01:21
Glad you liked it, GH. :cool:

And now: a special message for all tailgaters everywhere.....

What the f*ck is wrong with your brains !!!!

8th Oct 2001, 01:48
Excuse me, Mr.ShyTorque! What's this in your signature about imitators? Have a look at my number on this post, then have a look at yours. Who was here first?

Bah! :mad:

8th Oct 2001, 03:05
Mr Unwell Raptor,

Your profile says that you registered on 29 Sep 2000. Is that correct?


8th Oct 2001, 12:12
Yup - but that wasn't the first time nor the first name I had registered. I was in The Great Server Crash in (?) Feb Y2K.

8th Oct 2001, 21:42
So you possibly don't remember the crash before that then (1996) when everyone had to re-register from scratch because the whole caboodle had gone down the pan?

Before that there was only a single bulletin board and we were all emailed each night by Danny himself....my original user number was 72 or thereabouts and I first posted stuff in 1995 (there, that should have got the lampshade swinging!)

However, if you really want to see some written evidence that I was at least around in early 2000.. go to "Search", enter Shytorque as the word to search for, go to Rotorheads, any date and you should find a post of mine dated April 2000 which would probably be the one after the archives / records got lost again. I had to re-register again on the date now shown on my profile for technical reasons - I messed up by changing email addresses and had to get Danny to sort it out, hence the later date.

You got a mention in my signature a long time ago because you appeared as a new user almost immediately after something I posted and it seemed to me you were taking the Michael, like $hite Talk and a couple of others (possibly all the same person) who were posting quite extreme stuff that I didn't want to be associated with. It seemed to me at the time that your username was possibly derived from mine just as theirs were, albeit a little more subtle.

I will now remove the reference to you from my signature if you like! :rolleyes:

BTW, I was thinking of re-registering as Poorly Hawk :D What do you think?


8th Oct 2001, 22:28
No worries. My username is a cunning play on words, designed to flush out crossword experts, and to bewilder the prosaic.



9th Oct 2001, 11:05
I had thought that U-R was a play on Ill Eagle, therefore no derivation of S-T... Both being infinitely more amusing than my shameful effort ;)

[ 09 October 2001: Message edited by: sanjosebaz ]

9th Oct 2001, 12:58
Spot on baz!

Nothing wrong with San Jose though. We Brits have a permanent sense of inferiority when it comes to song titles involving place names. "Do you know the way to St Albans?" hasn't quite got the ring to it. Try:

24 hours from Bradford
Get Your kicks on the A66
In My Mind I'm going to Milton Keynes
Help me Rhondda (not really)
When You Get Caught Between the Moon and Canary Wharf.

There will no doubt me more submissions.

9th Oct 2001, 18:19
I sensed a whole new thread developing here, so I have taken the liberty of copying your input to "Song Titles we'd like to hear" ;)

[ 09 October 2001: Message edited by: sanjosebaz ]

PPRuNe Dispatcher
10th Oct 2001, 01:43
Kraftwerk's classic song in English is "We drive drive drive down the motorway"

Personally I thought I'd see what a Volvo T5-R will do on an empty autobahn... but I bottled out while it was still accelerating :eek:


10th Oct 2001, 02:24
Caravaners........do i need to say more?
Why do people who live in smart houses 50 weeks of the year want to spend their hols in a fibre glass box with a chemical toilet!! AND most of 'em can't drive with a trailer on let alone reverse with it still connected.......make 'em pay road tax on them....said a spokesman!

12th Oct 2001, 21:24
But Flying Pig surely as a resident of Devon you will appreciate that said caravanners bring hundreds of jobs and create a good deal of business for the residents of your County. When did you last spend a holiday in a modern caravan or motorhome by the way? I invite you to look in my motorhome (which is a stock model)when I am next in Plymouth ( frequently) and you will find satnav,aircon, microwave, video/tv central heating etc etc -everything you find at home and more than many have. I accept it has a chemical loo but I guess you clean the toilet at home as well don't you??

I enjoy my couple of weeks in the Caribbean each year or wherever but also enjoy short breaks in some of the most stunning parts of Britain and Europe in my fibre glass box - don't knock it! Great idea road tax for caravans, I don't mind paying it is worth it.

As I said earlier in this thread though I do apologise for those stupid pratts that usually attach a 26 foot caravan to the back of a 1600cc car and get us all a bad name!!
Why not nick 'em for causing an obstruction.

See you on the M5.

12th Oct 2001, 23:31
To$$ers who stop at a roundabout and then look to see if it's clear - especially those in front of me when I have looked, seen its clear, continued moving and expected them to do the same.

Prats on motorways who drive at 75 in the outside lane and don't pull over becasue there's a car half a mile ahead that they will probably overtake and they're going quite fast enough for anybody anyway.

Oncoming traffic that flashes its lights as you are overtaking three minutes before you actually pass them.

Italian gritter lorry drivers - drives in the middle of a two lane autostrada so as to grit both lanes at once; just enough room to get past provided you breath in but most frightening overtake of my life with concrete wall one side, large gritter other, fast approaching traffic in my six and complete IMC for about 15 secs.

Mmmmm bit worried now about what this says about my driving...

AS for tailgaters, friend of mine in Special Branch used to play a game in unmarked cars called 'feeding the bollards'. In town, if boy racer etc appeared close on their tail the driver would ease towards middle of road/slightly into opposite carriageway and accelerate enough to annoy him and speed things up. When they reached next set of central road bollards a quick swerve back into the correct lane at last moment would feed BR etc to the bollards as he would not have seen them, not react in time and plow straight in. ;)

13th Oct 2001, 03:28
Car drivers.
Most have no ideas as to the laws of physics and how they relate to LGV`S. I`ve no doubt that it may come as a shock to most car drivers to learn that vehicles larger than your car require more space on roundabouts, and while turning (see latest version of highway code for details). I just love the way car drivers pull into the braking/deceleration space of LGV`s and slam on the anchors at the last moment, especially at motorway exits, without a thought about the greater braking distance required by these vehicles, still there is nothing quite like the feeling of the momentum of twenty + tonnes of fuel trying to make your trailer overtake your tractor unit because you are trying desperately to avoid reshaping the rear end of his (or her) repmobile.
As a road user aquainted with most types of road based transport including horses, cycles, cars and LGV`S I can say with some conviction that car drivers are generally the worst road users.
Just because they form the majority of road users does not constitute an excuse for their inconsiderate driving style.
Car drivers remember you are only amateurs, you are the PPl holders of the road.

13th Oct 2001, 08:26
Have to agree with NoSurrender here. I've never driven a truck of any sort but in my time driving interstate highways I always preferred driving at night, because most of the traffic was freight. Simply because they are professionals I found they were almost always better drivers, aware of the problems their bulk and limited performance caused and willing to accommodate with things like letting you know when it was safe to overtake. If I was blinded by somebody not bothering to dim their lights till they were good and ready, it was never a truckie.

Stories of monster trucks tailgating terrorized drivers always amuse me too. I suspect it is more likely Pa Kettle, at a leisurely 40mph, is frightened witless to finally see a large vehicle behind him, when the poor bugga has probably been trying to get past for fifteen minutes since Pa last checked his rear view mirror.

Generalizations are difficult, but I trusted the professionals to do the right thing, I did the right thing by them in return, and I was very rarely disappointed. Pro rata, car drivers with their vastly differing skill levels are a much more terrifying force.

BTW, Legalapproach, you were right; you should have "taken the Fifth" and not incriminated yourself. The first scenario you described is one all my kids have been aware of since primary school. I've always called it the "Whoops he's stopped", and that's how they know it. I've explained it to them so often over the years that by the time they get their licence it is second nature for them that until the car in front of them has gone, it doesn't matter a stuff what's happening with the traffic you are merging with; you can't go anywhere. Anticipation in this case is poor technique.

*adjusts halo, polishes medals, and steps off soapbox*

:p :p

[ 13 October 2001: Message edited by: Binoculars ]

13th Oct 2001, 12:14
No Surrender,

I have seen the aftermath of some horrendous crashes caused entirely by professional drivers of LGVs / HGVs. I have also seen aggressive, selfish, stupid, arrogant and negligent behaviour by the same group.

There are good and bad drivers using all types of vehicles, even police ones. There are even good and bad pedestrians. It isn't good to generalise too much.

:( SC

13th Oct 2001, 14:10
Can we cease talking about the stopping at roundabouts thing please?

Mrs Flintstone just did it and bent the family wagon :(

And she wonders why I won't let her drive my pride and joy :rolleyes:

Send Clowns
13th Oct 2001, 17:25
NoSurrender the most disgusting display of bad driving and reduced braking distance I have witnessed was caused by the driver of a tractor from an artic, not a car driver, and ended in him threatening to run me over, and me calling the police.

He was tailgating me (something I hate) at about 60 on a single-carriageway trunk road. The recommendation of advanced driving instructors in tailgating is to ease off the accelerator, to give more space ahead for safety and allow a better chance for the idiot behind to overtake. As I did so, he pulled even closer and switched his lights onto full beam. Realise that as far as I am aware at this point I have a full tractor/trailer less than a car length behind, and I can no longer see well ahead because of glare from my mirrors. Slowing down more, he just sat on my tail (he could safely have overtaken). Finally I get to a rediculously low speed, and realising that he is not going to overtake start to gently accelerate. At this point he finally does try to overtake, accelerating fiercly, and swinging out, but then directing his vehicle straight at my car, so that I had to floor the accelerator (in second gear) to avoid being hit! Note that many cars are more sluggish than my turbo-diesel, and could not have got out of the way.

The whole cycle repeated except this time I stopped, clear of the road so he could have passed. Instead he stopped and got out of his cab, walking towards my car. I got out not wishing to be trapped, and he started shouting and screaming , so I told him he shouldn't tailgate (I won't claim I said it calmly, but I made no threats of violence). He shouted that he would run me over, so I called 999 on my mobile, and he jumped in his cab (that I could now see was only a tractor, no trailer) and drove off.

The police ended by sending him a warning letter, they offered to take it further but there were no independent witnesses so success was not likely. I hope he is not an owner-driver, so the police had to go through his employer to find him from the registration, as he should not be on the road. He could have seriously scared many people, if they were driving a smaller, less safe car or were smaller than he was.

You say car drivers are the worst?

This is only the worst case. I have seen hundreds of tailgating truckers. You must have as well. Tailgating is dangerous. Police/government should do more to stop it, rather than emphasising the speed limit so much that it is fixed in their minds, and they think it is a safe speed to drive, rather than an arbitary legal maximum.

14th Oct 2001, 06:03
Send Clowns.
The main difference between car drivers and truckers is that truckers are at least aware of their failings while car drivers are oblivious.
NB. Max legal speed for a LGV on single carriageways is 50 mph

14th Oct 2001, 16:53
Bwahahahahaah NoSurrender:

Truckers the poor victims of nasty car drivers :o Now I've heard everything !!

Like SC I've had trucks so close that all you can see is the letters 'OLV' backwards in your rear view mirror.

So the limit for trucks is 50 is it ? How come then that 60 wasn't fast enough for the guy that tailgated Clowns ? What on Earth is your point ????

If you really think that car drivers are the PPLs of the automotive world, then anyone who drives for a living should surely exhibit much higher standards of professionalism rather than the impatience and downright dangerous driving that we see every day.

By your analogy, truckers are the CPLs of the road. Imagine if we behaved like that in the air :eek:

[ 14 October 2001: Message edited by: Grainger ]

Joe Bolt
14th Oct 2001, 17:16
It's MIRROR, SIGNAL, MANOEUVRE. This means that you should have looked in your mirror, and then signalled BEFORE starting the manoeuvre. Slowing down and braking is a part of the ****ing manoeuvre you @rseholes.

Also, why do some drivers hold up traffic for ages as they are trying to turn right out of side road onto a busy main road, when it would be far quicker, easier and safer for everyone if they were to turn left, and then do a U-turn at the roundabout just a short distance away.

BOX JUNCTIONS - the rule is so simple. DO NOT ENTER UNLESS YOUR EXIT IS CLEAR. Lord give me strength. :confused:

Send Clowns
14th Oct 2001, 17:48
I know that NoSurrender. Also a limit of 56 mph on the motorway. Doesn't stop them being so impatient they overtake at that speed when the vehicle ahead is doing 55 mph, thus causing a huge nuissance to drivers behind them. Official police statements have blamed this for largescale motorway congestion. They then cut straight in front of the car/truck they have overtaken, far too close for safety and also blocking the view.

If truckers are so aware of their limitations then they are deliberately driving dangerously. Do you think they should be charged with reckless driving?

14th Oct 2001, 21:41
plenty of people on thread who would be candidates for SSASCB&CS syndrome if they drove out here. It is a fairly common medical complaint encountered by visitors to the area. It stands for Sudden Stroke, Abdominal Spasming, Clenched buttocks, and Cold Sweat syndrome.
In the glossary section of the local drivers bible it expands the term slightly explaining that this condition has been known to occur as a quadruple attack of the above under certain local road situations: It can be recognised by an extremely sudden splitting headache, exaggerated facial contorting and rapid hammering of the heart and generalised stroke like feelings.
This is accompanied by intense contractual ridging of the stomach muscles to a point where the muscles will go into spasms giving, if only temporarily, quite a passable sixpack appearence.
The Maxima Gluteae will clench convulsively sometimes causing puckering, creasing, and / or discoloration of car seat material.
Cold Sweats which will give a chill feeling all over. (This last has been observed even in high summer with ambient outside air tems at 45 degrees C and over).
The fact that you are experiencing these is is a positive situation in that it does indicate that you are still exhibiting some vital signs and not being scraped off the tarmac.

PPRuNe Pop
14th Oct 2001, 23:56
Ah! PPP is here to close the thread I am afraid. This is to protect our server of course.

But have no fear you can start up Mark 2 on the same subject while this thread will remain in view.

Have fun.

PPRuNe Pop
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