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MMEMatty
9th May 2004, 13:15
One thing that has became 'kin obvious to me recently is that i swear too 'kin much.

I need to 'kin stop before i turn into Ozzy 'kin ozbourne.

can any of you :mad: out there 'kin help me?

i need serious 'kin help.

'kin matty

BlueEagle
9th May 2004, 13:17
Every time you swear give a pound coin to the Wife, in absence of a wife then give to Church!:}

redsnail
9th May 2004, 13:17
I barely notice swearing unless my mum does it. Then I just burst out laughing.

You know, Australia is the only place in the world where it is practically impossible to accurately diagnose Tourette's Syndrome. :D

BlueDiamond
9th May 2004, 13:40
in absence of a wife then give to Church!
And in the absence of either of those ... you may give the coins to me!

:E

G-ALAN
9th May 2004, 13:45
edited ... that was over the line, and you know it, G-ALAN :rolleyes:

X-QUORK
9th May 2004, 16:39
G-Alan,

That was a bit risque, swear you won't do it again?;)

Jerricho
9th May 2004, 16:40
That's charming.

Been discussed here before, but nobody swears better than those that hail from Glasgow. It just sounds so natural. And nothing makes me laugh harder than the good old.........

"Get thee away to f**k!". Brilliant.

Paracab
9th May 2004, 17:49
There is a very simple way to stop swearing, just get this guy to do it for you.....

The sweariest man alive ! (www.swearygeezer.co.uk)

chiglet
9th May 2004, 23:31
I "used" to swear...a *kin lot. 'Til my boss said what do you do to emphasise? And I went.....eeeerrr!! Not sworn since :ok:
watp,iktch

tony draper
9th May 2004, 23:37
I remember listening to a interview on local radio once, this was in the day before swearing was compusary on the media,twas a old Polish chap who had learned to speak English in the ship yards,the interveiw was just a constinuous row of bleeps.


:rolleyes:

Rich Lee
9th May 2004, 23:54
Ms. Blue Diamond And in the absence of either of those ... you may give the coins to me! That, my Dear, is a bit too opportunistic for my taste. Is there any doubt how wealthy you would became were we to send "swear coins" to you. There would be no need for expedition. Lady SG would not get lost in the desert and that EDN Hoppalong fellow would not be able to save her, we would continue to lose Ozone and there would be no world peace (oh, and people would still go US Navy Seal hunting). Do you really want that?

I am reminded of Aristotle Onasis who is rumored to have said, "were it not for women, men would have no need of money".

BlueDiamond
10th May 2004, 01:55
Is there any doubt how wealthy you would became were we to send "swear coins" to you.
Well I hope so ... I'm getting tired of this business of being unemployed. :{

Only thing is ... if I swear, do I have to give myself a coin? :confused:

Engineer
10th May 2004, 02:09
Let us be honest who gives a fcuk

Animalclub
10th May 2004, 04:04
Attempting to be a gentleman I was about to talk to an Irishman in a Dublin bar using the F word quite frequently. My wife stopped me... I think for my own good... and said "Don't worry about it. It doesn't sound like a swear word when the Irish say it!"

G-ALAN
10th May 2004, 09:02
Sorry red mod (wholi?) :ouch:

Ever notice how some swear words aren't quite as bad as others. The F word the B word and the C word are no no's in mixed company however yer can get away with certain words like @rse if used as a witty remark. Language is a strange thing.

Duckbutt
10th May 2004, 09:10
Digressing slightly, heard a delightful expression whilst listening to a sports report on BBC R5 on Saturday evening around 6.00 pm where some sportsman was described as 'sweating like a glass blower's @rse'

MadsDad
10th May 2004, 10:00
I've read several articles recently possiting that the only word unacceptable these days is the 'C' word. And over the last few months even that has become more noticable by it's prescence.

Something will come along to take it's place I suspect.

I do agree about the 'what do you do for emphasis' though. The other thing is why can there be two words, with known identical meanings, where one is perfectly acceptable and the other isn't - I would cite 'F**K' and 'Bonk'. The latter being used as an exact replacement for the former. :confused:

G-ALAN
10th May 2004, 10:11
The other thing is why can there be two words, with known identical meanings, where one is perfectly acceptable and the other isn't There are. I can think of an alternative for every swear word.

MadsDad
10th May 2004, 11:23
I suspect all swearwords are a variant on 1 of 6 themes; Male Genitialia, Female Genitalia; The Anus; The act of combining two or more of the foregoing; bodily waste and the legitimacy of the union of a persons parents. Anything else is a variation on a theme.

But it still doen't explain why one variant is acceptable and the other isn't.

Drap-air
10th May 2004, 13:30
G-ALAN

There are. I can think of an alternative for every swear word.

Go on then....

Ozzy
10th May 2004, 14:38
Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today, is the word ****. Of all the English words beginning with f, **** is the single one referred to as the "f-word". It's the one magical word. Just by it's sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. ****, as most of the other words in English, has arrived from Germany. **** from German's "fliechen" which mean to strike. In English, **** folds into many grammatical categories. As a transital verb for instance, "John ****ed Shirley". As an intransitive verb; "Shirley ****s". It's meaning is not always sexual, it can be used as an adjective such as; John's doing all the ****ing work. As part of an adverb; "Shirley talks too ****ing much", as an adverb enhancing an adjective; Shirley is ****ing beautiful. As a noun; "I don't give a ****". As part of a word: "abso-****ing-lutely" or "in-****ing-credible". Or as almost every word in a sentence: "**** the ****ing ****ers!". As you must realize, there aren't many words with the versitility such as the word ****,as in these examples used as the following words;
- fraud: "I got ****ed"
- trouble: "I guess I'm really ****ed now"
- dismay: "Oh, **** it!"
- aggresion: "don't **** with me, buddy!"
- difficulty: "I don't understand this ****ing question"
- inquery: "who the **** was that?"
- dissatisfaction: "I don't like what the **** is going on here"
- incompetence: "he's a ****-off!"
- dismissal: "why don't you go outside and **** yourself?"

I'm sure you can think of many more examples.
With all these multipurpoused applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word?
Use this unique, flexibel word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly: **** YOU!


Thanks to Monty Python:E

Ozzy

G-ALAN
10th May 2004, 16:03
I understand now madsdad. I think it's all about what is considered socially acceptable. A complete and utter lot of bollox if you ask me.

drap-air
You trying to get me in trouble?
:}

Drap-air
10th May 2004, 16:22
I used to have respect for my father until one day I went on the golf course with him!

To quote a few remarks often to be heard after a shot -

“****ing ball, why won’t you ****ing go where I hit you”

“I’m sure that hole is smaller that it ****ing ought to be”

“if that was ****ing 453 metres, I’m Nick bl**dy Faldo”

“it would have to land in a ****ing divot the size of the grand ****ing canyon”

ssultana
10th May 2004, 17:43
I've run out of useful swearwords! When at a job interview or in certain company, i have the manners and language of a gentleman. With my flatmates though, i can't offend them. Not the C, F, MotherF words or other profane language serves any good.

But when by habit you call each other f'ing lazy c's if they won't change the t.v channel, what can you expect?

Also does anyone else use the word cash, but substituted with the letter g at the beggining? i.e If something is bad it's 'F****** G***!'

fishtits
10th May 2004, 20:19
As prolly self-evident from my various postings, I love swearing :E

It's great to have such limited command of the English language & a wanton disregard for anyone else’s precious sensitivities. As an Irishman, I have an inbuilt requirement (and God's permission :p) to use profanities at every possible opportunity (though not in front of the ankle-biters unless they really piss me off :E) & to coin a phrase “Fcuk the begrudgers”

SS, in this part of the world the “gash” is a rather insensitive word for a woman’s lady bits (in the vein of hairy axe-wound type resemblance) but I digress…

I have a particular pet profanity in the guise of “Fcuk-licker” which whilst meaning very little, incurs an enormous feeling of happiness when well directed at an object (inanimate or otherwise) of annoyance. You have my full permission to try it out – royalties not applicable.

Fcuking FT

:E

PS Mods please feel free to remove this post if I hurt anyone's feelings via my gruff, insensitive & beastly language :rolleyes:

silly walks
10th May 2004, 21:54
The best word i've found for using around ankle biters is ****:ok:, as you can give it the full welly, it sounds very similar to the "f" word, and can cause offence to some people.