View Full Version : Out of University, getting old ... ho hum ..

miss approach
12th May 2001, 18:28
Was sent this recently....(hopefully not already been posted)..

Top 50 Reasons You Know You Know You've Been Out Of University Too Long

1. 6am is when you get up, not go to sleep
2. Having sex in a single bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. Your fantasies of having sex with three women with lesbian tendencies are replaced by fantasies of having sex with anyone at all.
5. You don't volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital.
6. You know all of the people sleeping in your house.
7. You hear your favourite song in the lift at work.
8. Informative TV does not include Richard and Judy.
9. The bank manager doesn't write threatening letters any more.
10.You carry an umbrella.
11. Seven-day benders are no longer realistic.
12. You don't go to Tesco's with all your friends.
13. You have standing orders and direct debits.
14. The heating works in your house.
15. Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and break-up.
16. You pay the government thousands of pounds every year.
17. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
18. Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.
19. You're the one calling the police because "Those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo!"
20. You get out of bed in the morning even if it's raining.
21. Washing up is not an annual ritual.
22. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
23. You don't know what time the kebab shop closes anymore.
24. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
25. You feed your dog Pal instead of McDonalds.
26. You don't get ideas for drinks from local tramps.
27. You don't put half-finished curries in the fridge to eat later.
28. You don't spend half your day strategically planning pub crawls.
29. You hate "scrounging students".
30. You no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when drunk.
31. Sleeping in the lounge is a no-no.
32. You can't persuade your flatmates to 'Drink till dawn'.
33. You don't spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.
34. You always know where you are when you wake up.
35. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
36. A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.
37. You go to the chemist for Panadol and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
38. A GBP3 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.
39. You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.
40. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
41. You don't have mice living in your kitchen.
42. Grocery lists are longer than pot noodles & cans of lager.
43. You don't go to Liquor Save to buy Vodka.
44. You have hoovered.
45. Breaking the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone.
46. ' I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going to drink that much again'.
47. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
48. You don't experiment with banned substances.
49. You don't get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a pub.
50. You don't find a "dump" left in the toilet hysterically funny anymore.

12th May 2001, 19:09
What? Oh as a STUDENT! I see. How silly of me.

...bumbles off out the door in tweed sports jacket (leather patches on the elbows, naturally) corduroys and red carpet slippers...

Through difficulties to the cinema

16th May 2001, 06:55
if 18 and 50 are true i don't want to become grownup.
51. you no longer go to the dentist more often than you go to the barbers.
52. crockery can't be used for ashtrays.

20th May 2001, 14:46
the knives in your flat don't have blackened tips.

the special ingredient in your "special brownies" is love.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Captain Cessna
20th May 2001, 14:59
I think just about every one of those has happened to me in the last two weeks!! Spot on!! Especially numbers 21, 30, 35, 39 and 47.

It must be time for my afternoon nap by now..

Charlie Foxtrot India
20th May 2001, 18:31
Gees I do feel old... http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif
How about:
53. You have your own washing machine, and it works, and you use it regularly
54. Your parents, and other elderly relatives, recognise you
55. You spend evenings instead of afternoons in front of the telly
56. You can't understand the lyrics of the dreadful "songs" at the top of the charts
57. Your house hasn't been condemned by the local health authority
58. You realise that "The Young Ones" was a comedy sitcom and not an eighties version of "Big Brother"
59. You feel hungover after two glasses of plonk and it takes two days to get over it
60. You really try to give up smoking, for your health and not because your clapped out car won't make it to the pub http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif
61. You own a car that is less than 20 years old and runs on unleaded petrol
61A. You can afford to put more than ten litres of petrol in your car at one time
61B. You get your car serviced
62. You can remember the names of people you hung out with six months ago
63. You consider becoming a mature student
63A.You become a mature student and go to lectures so you can write your own notes
64. You don't buy all your clothes from the charity shop
65. You have your own bathtub, all the grime in it is your very own, AND you have the bonus of hot water to go in it
66. You reminisce about the first series of "Star Trek"
(which links neatly into the "Captains Log" in the blocked up putrid loo...no it's not funny any more!!)

*sound of slippers shuffling back to the TV*

[This message has been edited by Charlie Foxtrot India (edited 20 May 2001).]

ickle black box
21st May 2001, 02:36
Oh my god, I don't know wether to laugh or cry! I've been out of Uni way too long, an I'm only 23! A fire in the kitchen is never as bigger laugh again as at uni :) :) :)

compressor stall
21st May 2001, 03:45
Great Post! How true it is!!!!!!!

*thinks of tossing in the whole flying caper and heading back to do an undergrad degree in media studies*

Those who restrain desire do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.
William Blake

21st May 2001, 19:49
Charlie Foxtrot India... geez, I resemble ALL of those! Reckon that meanz it's time to go clean up me spot in the family plot! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

Sounds of paper being ratted, in search of the latest version of the Will...

Nah, fuhk it ... I'll just go back to skool! :)

Dispela olgeta samting i pekpek bilong bulmakau!

22nd May 2001, 03:06
Out of University, getting old ... ho hum ..
so true!

ickle black box
22nd May 2001, 16:24
Big shock yesterday http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif I got my first ever 'Readers Digest Prize Draw' letter, addressed to me, i.e. ME, not my mum or day, but .. ahhhhh. .. I'm getting too old http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif


Charlie Foxtrot India
27th May 2001, 18:47
...and instead of getting threatening letters from THE BANK they offer you a bigger credit limit on your Visa card.