View Full Version : Strewth! Aussies give up the grog

4th May 2004, 10:48
Whatever next:
(Short) Article in Daily Telegraph

Once famous for referring to Friday as Poets day (standing for P*** Off Early Tomorrow's Saturday), the average worker Down Under now clocks up 1,855 work hours a year, 20 hours ahead of Americans on 1,835 and 34 more than the Japanese on 1,821.

The figures are published in a book, How Australia Compares by a Sydney academic, Rodney Tiffen, and an economics journalist, Ross Gittens, which is forcing the country to adjust how it sees itself.

Alcohol consumption has been falling since 1980, with Australia now down to seventh place in the beer-drinking league, although, embarrassingly, it leads the world in the consumption of flavoured alcopops.

Australia's self-image as an egalitarian workers' paradise has also been demolished. It has the fourth-widest gap between the incomes of the rich and the poor. Only Britain, Italy and the United States were more unequal.

The book, which compares figures from Australia, New Zealand, the United States, Canada, Japan, Britain, Ireland and 11 other European countries, found that Australia's rate of home ownership, at 69 per cent, has hardly changed in 25 years. In Britain it has risen from 49 per cent to 69 per cent in that time.

Nothing there about the increases in wine drinking though :E

4th May 2004, 11:17
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Well it's lonesome away from your kinfolk and all,
Round a campfire at night where the wild dingoes call,
But there's nothing so lonesome, so morbid or drear,
As to stand in the bar of a pub with no beer.

Now the publicans anxious, for the quota to come
Theres a faraway look, on the face of the bum
The maids gone all cranky , and the cooks acting queer
What a terrible place, is a pub with no beer

Then the stockman rides up, with his dry dusty throat
He breasts up to the bar, pulls a wad from his coat
But the smile on has face, quickly turns to a sneer
When the barman said sadly, the pubs got no beer

Theres a dog on the v'randah, for his master he waits
But the boss is inside, drinking wine with his mates
He hurries for cover, and cringes with fear
Its no place for a dog, round a pub with no beer

Old billy the blacksmith, first time in his life
Has gone home cold sober, to his darling wife
He walks in the kitchen, she says your early my dear
But he breaks down and tells her, the pubs got no beer

Slim Dusty

4th May 2004, 12:15
Gday DishMan
I'm still working to keep the average up, it's those kids who are letting our team down.
Cheers Q :O

4th May 2004, 13:12
Agreed. Didn't you love the pompous "embarrassingly" in the statistic about alcopops? :p

I'm doing my bit! (err, not with alcopops though)

4th May 2004, 15:09
Well, I dunno about Aussies doing less drinking, but I've tapered off drinking and increased my guzzling to compensate! :D

(reaches for keg of Grange Hermitage 1979)

"Waiter! Another Titanic for me Iceberg please!"

Onan the Clumsy
4th May 2004, 15:17
Beer? I thought they all drank meths.


4th May 2004, 18:28
Maybe this alcopop thing is why I was able to spend a happy few minutes admiring and photographing the real, actual, bona fide William Webb Ellis Trophy this morning during its tour of England to promote community rugby.

4th May 2004, 18:54
Ah one of me favorite drinking songs BD Give me a beer over wine any day, though I'm not too fussy, I'll drink wine in emergencies (no beer in the fridge) :}

30/30 Green Light
6th May 2004, 01:59
Crikey mates!Don't youse all know that that the booze figures come from the breweries sales figures.The breweries are taxed on their production,and tax evasion/minimisation here is a national sport,so if we give 'em dud figures,won't have to pay so much excise!No way we're gunna get left behind in the drinkin' stakes.Because of those high duties on our little tipple lots of us are now making our own which serves a two-fold purpose:it saves us money AND we get to rip off the Taxation Department.In fact my accountant reckons that the current savings I'm making are worth more than my superannuation so I'm seriously considering upping production to increase the savings.The downside to this is the storage problem but I think I've got that beaten now.If I go to part-time work I'll have more time to drink the increased production,thus hitting the Tax department with a double whammy.They get less income tax from me and I am saving even more by avoiding the excise on my increased drinking.Simple really,the more I drink the more I save.At the current rate of production/consumption I calculate I will be able to retire in 2 years.Now by extrapolation,if all us Aussies were to do this we could save the country a fortune.There would only be a need for a minimal taxation department to tax the fat-cats and all those made redundant from there could turn to making home-brew,thereby further reducing ....etc, etc.I call it beer-barelling,somewhat akin to pork-barelling.If we follow these principles we will become the worlds first true workers paradise,with minimal effort and maximum returns.Now if I can only work out how to get rid of VB it truly will have the potential to be Nirvana(or is that Manyana or Minyama?)Anyway,any of youse Poms who want to join the workers paradise or just want sound financial advice like that above,give us a bell and we'll get ya on board.
See ya's!!

Northern Chique
6th May 2004, 02:16
In the Northern Territory, the figure came out some time back, officially noting that the residents have more than double the average alcohol consumption of the average aussie. Here it is said that each territorian consumes 8l of pure alcohol in a year.

Thats just pure alcohol... Imagine how many glasses of nice wine that would calculate to! Um... goes to find calculator

6th May 2004, 03:04
Ah yes, the good old Northern Territory. How long does it take you N.C. to knock back a Darwin stubby?
(Did I hear a rumour somewhere they're going for $20 a pop?)

6th May 2004, 03:18
Did my bit to boost the average last night

Now enjoying a Panadol breakfast

6th May 2004, 06:26
Thats just pure alcohol... Imagine how many glasses of nice wine that would calculate to! Um... goes to find calculator

When the last Darwin Mayor was thinking about ways to rid the streets and parks of empty wine bladders(about 3000 a week)I came up with the idea of filling them with helium and attaching them to sleeping longrassers.
They would gently float off in the general direction of Timor looking luverly with the sun glinting off the bladders at sunset