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View Full Version : If Women Ruled The World.......


briteandbreezy
29th Mar 2002, 07:02
~*~ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> If Women Rueld The World <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> ~*~. . . .. .Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments. . .. .PMT would be a legitimate defence in court. . .. .Men that slept around would come with records, just like guys keep maintenance records on cars. . .. .Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.. . . .. .Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds. . .. .Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime. . .. .Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity and men would be required to go to clothing stores or malls to help women pick out new outfits. . .. .Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit. . .. .Men would have to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures. . .. .Men would be required to learn phrases like "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit". . .. .TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute.. .. . . .ALL men would be forced to spend one month in a PMT simulator.

BlueDiamond
29th Mar 2002, 07:24
And men would be required to have at least one migraine and at least one baby before they were permitted to become doctors.. .. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

Moritz Suter
29th Mar 2002, 07:40
What do you mean, IF?

sprocket
29th Mar 2002, 07:46
Life would be one big bloody Tupperware party!. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="rolleyes.gif" />

Feeton Terrafirma
29th Mar 2002, 08:31
And my thoughts are:. .. .Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.. .. .* I like a woman with nice accomplishments. .. .PMT would be a legitimate defence in court. .. .* Insanity is a defence now. .. .Men that slept around would come with records, just like guys keep maintenance records on cars.. .. .* They keep records now but don't show them to women.. .. .Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets. .. .* And that would make a difference how?. .. .Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.. .. .* Their average weight has increased by 40 pounds despite diets.. .. .Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime. .. .* You would need to ban gas-producing foods for the whole day. And any food produces gas. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> . .. .Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity and men would be required to go to clothing stores or malls to help women pick out new outfits. .. .* Women would NEVER buy anything if they relied on a man to "help pick out new outfits" cos your bum does look fat in that!. .. .Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit. .. .* So being screwed buy the boss would remain the same.. .. .Men would have to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures. .. .* The pictures are only there for the little boys anyway. Men get to look at the real thing.. .. .Men would be required to learn phrases like "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit". . .. .* We already know all these phrases, and when to use them. Just never seems to be the right time.. .. .TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute. .. .* They never seem to run longer than that now!!. .. .ALL men would be forced to spend one month in a PMT simulator. .. .*All men who have ever had a month long relationship with a woman have been through this already.

Rollingthunder
29th Mar 2002, 08:36
"4 days out of every thirty would be totally unmanageable and wacky in a serious,type manner". .. .said by someone I can't remember who.

briteandbreezy
29th Mar 2002, 16:44
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> ** QUICK QUESTION ** <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> . .. .If they can put one man on the moon.... .. ....why can't they put them all on????

Feeton Terrafirma
29th Mar 2002, 17:25
B & B,. .. .And just who would organise the ground work if all the men where on the rocket?

briteandbreezy
29th Mar 2002, 17:32
Feeton.... .. ....fear not ... we've been doing it for years!! . .. .Now be quiet and just get on that goddamn rocket!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

Hot 'n' High
29th Mar 2002, 19:49
Ooo Errr! That told you Feeton!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

RW-1
29th Mar 2002, 20:14
&gt;&gt;If they can put one man on the moon...&lt;&lt;. .. .Correction, we placed twelve hehe ...

OzExpat
29th Mar 2002, 21:03
So, B+B, some bloke has upset ya huh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

briteandbreezy
29th Mar 2002, 21:10
On a regular basis at the moment OxExpat... and even as I post this!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> . .. .Why do they do this??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="confused.gif" /> . .. .Hmmmmmm.... and they reckon women are hard to figure out!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="rolleyes.gif" />

OzExpat
30th Mar 2002, 12:20
Geez, you really got it bad B+B. So much so that you're prepared to dump on all of us because of a few bad experiences. Of course, if it's more than a few, the problem just might not be the blokes at all. In that event, it would seem grossly unfair to tar us all with the same brush.. .. .But I'll make a deal with you :. .If you agree to get into my shoes,. .I'll agree to get into your pants... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

The Nr Fairy
30th Mar 2002, 12:41
B&B :. .. . I think it was Robin Williams who said "If women rules the world, there would be no wars, only VERY intense negotiations every 28 days."

Whirlybird
30th Mar 2002, 16:23
OzExpat,. .. .If men start threads like this it's considered funny, and if women complain about it they're told they're over-sensitive. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> . .. .Hmmm...If I didn't know better I'd accuse you of suffering from PMT!

henry crun
31st Mar 2002, 11:28
It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just wakingup.

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.

Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this?

It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everybody else in the house up.

It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away.

It was Mummy Bear who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper.

It was Mummy Bear who set the table.

It was Mummy Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled the cat's water and food dish. And now that you've decided to come down stairs and grace me with your presence, you'd better listen real good because I'm only going to say this one more time:

I haven't made the [email protected] porridge yet!!"

briteandbreezy
31st Mar 2002, 11:29
OzExpat..... somehow I don't think they'd suit ya!! :p

But ..... now it's YOU that's tarrin' us all with the same brush and ASSUMIN' that I actually wear them!!!!!!!!!!! ;)


PS: Men are all the same,... they just have different faces so you can tell them apart!!! hehehe :D

OzExpat
31st Mar 2002, 13:01
Whirly... I suffer from it a lot, one way or another!

B+B ... so does this mean the deal is off?

briteandbreezy
31st Mar 2002, 18:35
Eeeeeeee... i dunno!!!!!


Worra-ya-like OzExpat!!!!!


Now ya ASSUMIN' that the bleedin' deal was on in the first place.... huh huh????


I've told ya .... they wouldn't suit ya!!!!!.......


... ASSUMIN' that I wear them like!!!!!! :p


Tut,.... BLUDDY MEN!!!!!!! :rolleyes:

sprocket
31st Mar 2002, 20:35
I dunno how it happened, but I have been suffering from PM bluddy T ever since I met Mrs Sprocket! ....

....... I've suffered the pegnancies
Ive suffered all the mood swings
... in fact Ive suffered everything she has suffered!:(

Whats the big deal? ....... Didn't feel a thing!:)

I dont think all these womens problems are all they are cracked up to be. :D

OzExpat
1st Apr 2002, 00:19
Until you try me shoes on, we won't know about the rest, will we?:D

briteandbreezy
1st Apr 2002, 00:25
Awww Soz OzExpat.... If I was gonna wear 'Mens' shoes... I'd have followed in me fathers footsteps!!!!!! ;)


'Fraid ya gonna have to find somebody else who'll let ya wear their knix!!!!!!!!!!!! :p

Tartan Gannet
2nd Apr 2002, 21:46
We would have a 13 month year. A lot more logical if you think about it.:D