View Full Version : Songs you never hear on The radio!

Windy Militant
23rd Aug 2001, 17:03
With all the [email protected] "Now that's what....." albums coming out every week I was thinking why doesn't someone bring out A "The best songs that will never ever get on the radio play list ever" album.
I'd start off with
The Dead Kennedy's: Too Drunk to F*ck
The Saw doctors (I think): I Want to bang the Bangles.
The song about Dolly Partons greatest Hits " They're big and soft and round and they don't make a sound....": don't know who it's by, But saw it on Pebble Mill and nearly wet myself
Of course Eric idles; I bet they won't play this song on the radio!
The Pistols version of: The Good Ship Venus.
Judge Dreads: Dr Kitch.
Right you've got the idea off you go!
And yes the boss's on Holiday :p

Token Bird
23rd Aug 2001, 18:09
That song by the Macc Lads about sheep:

'Sheep, sheep, everywhere - the little woolly f***ers are all over the place!'

Don D Cake
23rd Aug 2001, 18:18
Anything by McLean and McLean. My favourites, from the album "Taking the O out of Country", are "The Pubic Hair Song" and "Dolly Parton's Tits"

Rodney Rude, a charming Australian comedian, did of cover of the Pubic Hair Song, very good it was too.

23rd Aug 2001, 18:30
There's always Kevin Bl**dy Wilsons's "Santa Claus you ****ing ****, where's my ****ing bike, I've opened all this ****ing **** and it's a load of ****ing *****"

A great christmans number, that one.

You want it when?
23rd Aug 2001, 18:36
Monty Python.

Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me...

23rd Aug 2001, 18:37
I remember doing a recording of 'Santa Claus you ****ing ****' with some mates in a music lesson when i was in Year 8 at school. The teacher didnt know about it 'til we played the recording infront of the class. It was ****ing brilliant! Great disco beat aswell... :D :D

23rd Aug 2001, 18:45
ANYTHING by Judge Dread. Still holds the record "most songs banned on the BBC", doesn't he? Poor guy, always misunderstood. Probably should've sung about "the donkey Richard" instead of using the short form of the name...

The Business: Drinkin' and drivin. "..eight o'clock I'm back to the bar/sod the walk I'll take the car/(chorus) knock it back, have another one...". They also have songs directed at Diego Maradona and Kurt Cobain, neither of which I expect to hear on the air.

Mano Negra: "Letter to the censors". Title says it all. There aren't many lines in the lyrics that I could quote here without being thrown off the board I think. :)

"Zuga" by Kottgrottorna, with lyrics speculating in depth about the geometrical impossibilites of certain kinds of self-satisfaction.

Hmm, I wonder if they play Capitol Radio One by the Clash in the UK/US? "There's a tower in the heart of London/with a radio station right on the top/they don't make the city beat/they're making all the action stop"

T.I.S.M.: "I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix".

If I had my record collection here, I could go on forever. 300+ CDs gathered during the years when onlookers could refer to me as "the creature that escaped from Camden Town"... Now why aren't there any mohawked smileys on PPRuNe?! :D


23rd Aug 2001, 19:06
and that wonderful song... i forget the name and most of the words already...

"they've come to take me away again to the funny farm where laughing trees and ...."

Anyone know that one?

Bobby Guzzler
23rd Aug 2001, 19:15
I remember this song that some girls I used to go to school with brought in one day.

I think the chaps name was Warren Marshall, an the song in question was called 'G spot.' - Honestly, the opening line was 'Let me hear you say ooh, aah, when I hit your G spot baby, I wanna hear you moan and groan with delight' - absolute filth! One for radio 4! :eek:

[ 23 August 2001: Message edited by: Bobby Guzzler ]

23rd Aug 2001, 19:56
Barry and the BookBinders:

"She Grabbed my Coconuts and Then she Ran Away ...."

If you've heard, you know, if not, don't ask ... :D

[ 23 August 2001: Message edited by: RW-1 ]

23rd Aug 2001, 20:16
Never get Weird Al songs on the radio - They are quality :)

23rd Aug 2001, 20:23
how about the rodeo song,
It's 40 below go a heater in my truck,
And I dont give a f**K cos I'm off to the rodeo,

Pen it off!
23rd Aug 2001, 21:15
Windy Militant,

the Dolly Parton song was originally written and sung by my old favourite the fat b*$$t',d himself Roy 'Chubby' Brown.

Send Clowns
23rd Aug 2001, 21:27
How about "F***ing Hell, it's Fred Titmus" by Half Man, Half Biscuit. Or "I Hate Nerris Hughes" by the same band. Or their Camblewick Green song, can't remember the name but with the classic lines
"Time flies by when your the driver of a train,
Speeding down to Trumpton with a cargo of cocaine.
I get high when I'm the pilot of a plane,
Toughing down at Camblewick and stoned out of my brain"

Or their "Trumpton Riots". Or the one that says "Why is Rod Hull alive, and getting paid as well?" which is obsolete anyway, as he isn't.

In fact, almost anything by Half Man, Half Buscuit, really.

[ 23 August 2001: Message edited by: Send Clowns ]

23rd Aug 2001, 22:13
sadly, anything I ever recorded... :(

also honourable mentions to the Anti Nowhere League

"i'm an animal
i'm a living abortion", anyone?

23rd Aug 2001, 23:13
"Can't say crap on the radio" Stiff Little Fingers.

"Modern World" The Jam (Album Version)
Once memorably played on Radio 1 by Bruno Brookes who was **not** expecting to hear the word f*ck ...

tony draper
23rd Aug 2001, 23:21
Aint arf been some clever barsterds, Ian Drurey.

23rd Aug 2001, 23:34
Its 'They're coming to take me away, ha haa!' by Napoleon XIV (1966) and the B side is the same song backwards!!

24th Aug 2001, 00:17
I haven`t heard The Horst Wessel song for a while (thankfully)

24th Aug 2001, 00:57
Magic Moments: Perry Como
Stick Your Finger In Your Ear & Go Ting-a-ling-a-loo: George Formby
Nellie The Elephant

...have I got the wrong end of the stick here? :rolleyes:

24th Aug 2001, 00:58
Good thread this. John Peel often plays Half man Half biscuit on his show. They come from around my neck of the woods too. Ever hear anything by a guy called Jegsy Dodd.?
Anyway, How about this; 'If you dont want to f**k me, baby f**k off......', by Jayne County and the electric chairs. (used to be called Wayne County until he had a sex change.!) 'So What', by the Anti nowhere leauge is another old gem too. 'Orgasm addict' by the Buzzcocks.

24th Aug 2001, 01:11
Hit me baby one more time - Britney Spears

Arm out the window
24th Aug 2001, 03:26
'Closer to Hogs' by One Inch Punch - funny **** -take of that crap 'Closer' by the Nine Inch Nails. The film clip is particularly lacking in taste, unless you like doing animals.

While I'm on the subject, does anyone else think Trent Reznor is a total ******?

24th Aug 2001, 05:47
i liked a loony tune they used to play on the radio here
it was about a couple who met on the internet and then in real life and were nothing like they claimed to be, but feel in love anyway
i just remember the line
and i was taken in by your many lovely chins :D

Windy Militant
24th Aug 2001, 12:16
Well This seems to have brought the Anarchists out of the closet!
Some good stuff out there.
Pen it off, Ta mate.
Shame about the late great Alex Hughes aka Judge Dread. Had the privaledge of seeing him twice. Once in the Frenchmans motel in Fishguard in about 76, When he bounced on stage to the shout of " Don't bother locking up your daughters, I'm too old and the bands all queer" then again years later, two gigs before he Skanked off this mortal coil.
A few more that spring to mind!
Any thing by "The Meteors"," The Toy dolls" or "Peter and the test tube babies"
Drug adix: Gay boys in bondage.
Radio Stars: Dirty pictures.
I'm off for a few days now, but keep on with the good work!
Oh yeah, Kabz if your out there how goes the quest?

24th Aug 2001, 12:21
More Kevin Bloody Wilson - 'Don't touch your sister she's mine' - a song about love on the farm ;)

Anti Nowhere League's 'So what' was covered by Metallica on the MTV awards a few years back - they told the producers that they were going to do a different song...oops...

Funnily enough, reffering to the Saw Doctor's song 'I'd love to kiss the Bangles' - well the only time I've ever heard it was on the radio!

24th Aug 2001, 16:25
There's Derek & Clive's "I was walking down the street one day, when I saw a house on fire...", too. And everything else they did :)

[ 24 August 2001: Message edited by: Evo7 ]

24th Aug 2001, 19:23
What about Kevin B Wilsons classic "Do you F**K on first dates, does your dad own a brewery, can I feel yout T**s, or will you show them too me"
Another Aussie classic. :) :) :)

Made Guy
24th Aug 2001, 19:43
Anyone else remember the Revolting Cocks?

Great band, great attitude and great tunes like "Beers, Steers & Queers" which sampled the film Deliverance and included the imortal line "Squeal Piggy - eeeeeeeeeeeh!".

AL Jorgensen, also of Ministry fame, is one f*cked up dude.

This record was the cause of at least one failed relationship & I proud of it.

:D :D

Self Loading Freight
24th Aug 2001, 19:44
Peelie played a new (!) Half Man Half Biscuit the other night. Can't remember what it was called, but it was all about the lead singer of Slipknot going to visit the Pope. And the chorus was His Holiness singing: "Who the ****ing hell are Slipknot? Who the ****ing hell are Slipknot? Who the ****ing hell are Slipknot, in relation to me getting out of bed?", which emotion I can relate to.

Nice thing was, JP played the song in its entirety, rude words and all, and I don't think anyone anywhere cared tuppence.


Made Guy
24th Aug 2001, 20:11
How about Dennis Leary's "I'm an arsehole" from his No Cure for Cancer tour?

Very UN-PC, very funny & still my favourite comedy video of all time.

Lon More
24th Aug 2001, 20:53
Weird Al Yankovitch made a series of The World's Worst. They should still be available on the net. Or try using something like Napster and search under Humor.
Personal favbourite? Biker Joe Warren "My son the gynocologist" or "Blow them all away" definitely not PC. :o