View Full Version : Digress here... II

Tricky Woo
23rd Aug 2001, 15:39
You know the rules.

Tricky Woo
23rd Aug 2001, 15:44
I notice that I am no longer a "Barrack Room Lawyer", as I was branded by Uncle Danny for some misdemeanor or other.

The title has recently been replaced by "Just another number" which I consider to be a promotion of sorts.

I'm still wondering what the really fish icon means.


Biggles Flies Undone
23rd Aug 2001, 15:51
I know why your title disappeared Tricky - you have to pay for them now ;)

Biggles Flies Undone
23rd Aug 2001, 15:59
Just to digress a little to the previous thread - why call it a padlock? Who would want to lock something that saves your legs from getting hurt at cricket or stops you having fun with your girlfriend?

23rd Aug 2001, 16:12
And while we're on the subject of padlocks....

....has anyone else noticed that whenever a thread called "Really Successful Thread" is closed as it reaches 100 posts, and a thred called "Really Successful Thread II" is started, the new thread is never as successful as the old thread?


tony draper
23rd Aug 2001, 16:44
Again on the subject of padlocks,

Never buy your Nephew a Owl for xmas.
little feathered bast*rds.

I Am Ugly
23rd Aug 2001, 17:06
My brother got his GCSE results today.
I got gas.
Don't think the two are related.

23rd Aug 2001, 17:26
Oh NO! Not another frellin TEST !!!!!!!

I'm all tested out, or one could say I'm a bit testy today .... :D

By the way did we pass?

23rd Aug 2001, 17:29
As this has become the 'Padlock Thread'...
Ive got to say that there are far too many cheap imitations flooding an already overstretched market. With share prices set to plummet for the second time this month it could trigger recession in the US, and eventually the World!
We're all doomed......... :eek:

Biggles Flies Undone
23rd Aug 2001, 18:08
Well I see I got put in my place pretty swiftly over the 'pay for a title' issue :D

Never mind, I rest easy in the knowledge that the unprompted cheque I sent to the PPRuNe fund last year should guarantee me a place in Heaven if not on a flightdeck :p

Tricky Woo
23rd Aug 2001, 19:05

Tricky Woo
23rd Aug 2001, 19:11
Dear Uncle Danny,

Seeing as I offered you plenty of dosh for the number 13, which you never bothered to follow up, and as I also recall offering you some dosh gratis of any service, I reckon that's a wee bit steep.

Still, you should have heard what one of the Reuter's blokes in this morning's vendor meeting called me. I always did enjoy being the customer.


Onan the Clumsy
23rd Aug 2001, 19:27
I went to school with a kid called Shaun Draper.

He's the one on the right. I am NOT the one on the left.


[ 23 August 2001: Message edited by: Onan the Clumsy ]

Capt PPRuNe
23rd Aug 2001, 19:41
BFU, you know you have a place in PPRuNe Heaven... guaranteed! :)

Just trying to set an example to all these yourng whippersnappers with really high member numbers how they need to look deeply into their hearts and then a bit further into their wallets so that they don't all regret going to PPRuNe Hell for not looking after me in my dotage 'cos all my savings went on paying for this website.

Biggles Flies Undone
23rd Aug 2001, 19:52
Danny, please check your mail. I may have found a way to repay you for those few kind words ;)

23rd Aug 2001, 21:11
Who first decided a lobster would be good to eat?

23rd Aug 2001, 22:51
Red_Devil... no idea, but I expect that he'll be well and truly dead by now, so it's probably just a wee bit late to be saying "thank you"! :D

23rd Aug 2001, 23:03
What about the guy who discovered that mushrooms taste great?

What about the guy who discovered that toadstools can kill you?

I wonder which one would have been me.

24th Aug 2001, 02:08
Just digressing a little anyone else wondered why trains don't have tyres???

My bedroom curtains are drawn but I am not yet asleep....

A2 :D

tony draper
24th Aug 2001, 02:13
Aha!, but trains do so have tires Mr A, Albeit steel ones.

Aw! sh*t I gressed a little bit there.

[ 23 August 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

tony draper
24th Aug 2001, 02:36
Hey Draper's just had a briliant idea for maintaining disipline on threads, if the sin isn't large enough to merit being banished to that other place Sir Prune, could have a series of post count fines,your post count goes down ten points for unmerited profanity,sexulal references, twenty points, openly soliciting other member, male or female for sexual favours thirty posts, and of course for insulting Admin, 100 posts. ;)

Draper shows more and more signs of increasing facist tendencies the older he gets.

Damm I've just noticed ,if you send two consecutive post your post count only goes up by one.

[ 23 August 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

Arm out the window
24th Aug 2001, 03:14
To Tony Draper -

Just curious mate, I can't help but notice that you always refer to yourself (if you are yourself, ah ha - that could explain it!) in the third person.

Perhaps, like Madonna, you are embarked on a ceaseless quest to publicise your name and image.

Or perhaps you actually are a draper by trade, and it's a cunning advertising ploy for your business?

Or, tragically, have you had some terrible haunting experience with the words 'I' and 'me' in the past that you can't let go of, and are plagued by nightmares from which you awake dripping in sweat, shouting 'Nooooooo!'?

If you decide to change log in names in the future, you could call yourself 'The poster formerly known as Tony Draper, or just have a symbol. I know it's been done before, but in a musical sense, so you'd probably be OK.

Right, I'm having another pill now.

24th Aug 2001, 07:06
so what was bfu's title?
did i miss something good?

tony draper
24th Aug 2001, 11:18
Hmmm, indeed, one is at a loss to explain,
we, myself and I, are aware of each other, and also know all about that Draper fellow, a thougherly despicable chap, with his Jackboots and riding crop,he is apparently completely unaware of , myself and I.


[ 24 August 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

24th Aug 2001, 12:41
Grainger's gonna retaliate by starting to call you Mr Draper.

Arrrrrrgghhhhhh ! 'Scuse me - I've gotta go and chuck my radio out the window....


Crash ! .... tinkle .... crunch....


Ahhh, that's much better. Now we all know what's the worst song ever recorded: Yup: Barry Manilow - "I wanna do it with you" : puke :

Anyone know where I can get a new Radio ??

[ 24 August 2001: Message edited by: Grainger ]

24th Aug 2001, 12:45
So what have I learned ?

1. Danny, we really really need a : puke : Graemlin - that was a real emergency.

2. Important safety tip: If you're gonna chuck something out of the window - Open the damn window first !!! :o

[ 24 August 2001: Message edited by: Grainger ]

Biggles Flies Undone
24th Aug 2001, 13:02
Ding – it was something like “can afford it but too tight to let the moths out of his wallet to pay for a proper title”.

I was quite proud of my 15 mins of PPRuNe fame – now I’ve got to think of something witty and bloody pay for it! :D

24th Aug 2001, 14:47
I just went out to buy a book of stamps. The girl gave me some self-adhesive ones. Why do they have perforations down the edge? :confused:

24th Aug 2001, 16:55
today i watched a video
it had one preview
the preview was for the movie on the tape!
why did they do that?
i had already rented the video.
they didn't need to put in the preview to convice me that i wanted to see the movie! :rolleyes:

Tricky Woo
24th Aug 2001, 17:08
A minor digression related to the subject of Aeschylus:

I have it on good authority that a ripe coconut, when descending under the influence of gravity, is far less therapeutic than one would at first imagine; especially in the event of it falling on your nonce. A major cause of death in the balmy South Seas, I hear. Residents of Fiji, who laugh derisively at ravenous sharks, cower pathetically whenever in the presence of a Palm Tree. It seems that the Ancient Greeks had it easy, after all.

I'll have to watch out for that.

My bloody office is a sauna yet again. I've daringly removed my tie, and unfastened my collar. I'm feeling cooler, and frightfully brave. I await the repercussions with interest.


Biggles Flies Undone
24th Aug 2001, 17:24
Hey! I got another title! (and the bill hasn't arrived yet). I just hope Danny means later rather than sooner.....

It's very hot in London today. I wonder if worms can tell the difference.

Celtic Emerald
24th Aug 2001, 17:42
Alright BFU

How much did you donate to be waranteed that honour Lick lick suck suck. Is that why Captain Airclues has the peerage I'm now beginning to wonder. Don't forget the Celtic Emerald Beneficiary Fund BFU, a very worthy cause of which I am the only member :D

Lick lick suck suck

Emerald :p

[ 24 August 2001: Message edited by: Celtic Emerald ]

Biggles Flies Undone
24th Aug 2001, 17:49
Emmy - you don't have to lick and suck to be my friend (although it does help).

I got it gratis - which probably means that Danny will take it away at any moment and make my posting look even sillier. Mind you, this is the digression thread.... :D

Tricky Woo
24th Aug 2001, 17:53
BFU and Celtic!

Please stick to the digression at hand. Continuity of this sort will NOT be tolerated. There will NOT be a second warning.

TW (shakes his head)

tony draper
24th Aug 2001, 17:54
Really Mr Woo,Coconuts in the wild are not the small brown placid furry objects one see's at the fair, in the wild they are fearsome beasts about five foot long, green and of hideous appearance,many a poor native has been frightened to death by a sudden confrontation with a wild coconut.

Biggles Flies Undone
24th Aug 2001, 18:04
I'm going to sit on the beach tomorrow if the weather stays nice.

(hopefully this digression will save me from attack by carniverous coconut hordes sent by sticky loo and his henchmen).

Just an other number
24th Aug 2001, 18:10
From Changchun the journey continues via the Trans-Siberian Railway to Harbin, the capital of Heilongjiang Province, with its population of 3 million.

just another edit

[ 24 August 2001: Message edited by: Just an other number ]

Just an other number
24th Aug 2001, 18:13
It's not a smiling fish icon - it's a 2 fingered (+ 1 thumb) sheepskin mitten.

Tricky Woo
24th Aug 2001, 18:18
Hi All,

It's still as hot as a bastard here in 'hot as a bastard' Zürich. In addition to the other items, I've now removed my shoes, and am cooling my feet. Ahhhh.

Jacket off, tie removed, collar unfastened and shoes off: in an office; in a bank; in Switzerland. I'm a rebel!

I'm doomed.

It's only a matter of time until the police arrive brandishing their Swiss Army Knives. They'll threaten me with that thingy that removes stones from horse's hooves.

I'll go quietly.

Incidentally, I've always imagined that a Swiss prison is a rather jolly place: clean carpets; friendly warders; individual rooms and colour TV's. Quite looking forward to it, to be honest. I also hear that Swiss criminals are extremely placid and law-abiding. The place is probably full of people caught for, oh I don't know, failing to chew each mouthful of food properly, or something.

Lots of rules around here.

Wait until I tell you about the Church Tax. That's a good story. You'll like that.


tony draper
24th Aug 2001, 18:24
I have been told that a submarine lives in one of the lakes in Switzerland ;)

Oh yeh!, one must think one is a plonker. ;)

Tricky Woo
24th Aug 2001, 19:11
The Swiss Navy has indeed become a mighty force that only a foolhardy nation would consider joining in battle.

(See www.swissnavy.ch (http://www.swissnavy.ch) for details).

The belligerent militarisation of the Switzerland continues to shock its neighbours. Naturally fearful, the Republic of Liechtenstein has recent invested heavily in modern weapon technology: their new Uzi machine gun promises to be quite formidable when deployed alongside their two existing shotguns; They have also bought two bicycles in direct contravention of the 1974 STOP Treaty.

An escalation is now inevitable.

In response, the Swiss are already talking to Raleigh Bicycles about a Block III upgrade to their own fleet.

HM's Government is naturally reluctant to release such enhancements such as mudguards, gears and bells to a belligerent power. However, in view of the size of the arms deal, a concession is likely as long as no British-made components are included in the package. Raleigh has reassured HMG that, to their knowledge, no company has manufactured anything at all in the UK since 1981.

This situation threatens a war that could destabilise the entire region for days, or even weeks.

I fear for the many sheep and goats that will be left ravished or widowed once the dreadful carnage begins.


I'd rather
24th Aug 2001, 19:19
Hot as a bastard in London too. I spent the morning sitting on the balcony while a man replaced the element in my immersion heater (my digressions get ever more thrilling, don't they? The sad thing is, it's true.)

But now I'm at work. Unfortunately.

24th Aug 2001, 19:21
Is it just me, or is there not very much digression on this thread.

And on a similar subject, I can't believe that they're removing the old open-backed RouteMaster busses from service in London, and replacing them with Pay The Driver style busses. How are you supposed to jump on the bus while it's sat at a red light now? Huh? Huh?


Hagbard the Amateur
24th Aug 2001, 20:51
What's the difference between a good hoover and an admiral in the Swiss Navy?

One sucks but never fails and the other...
Well all you spoonerists work it out.

Tricky - I totally agree on the Swiss German attitude. Having travelled a bit, it seems to be more concentrated in Kanton Zürich than anywhere else. OK, Appenzell stopped burning witches 15 years ago but well....

Swiss drill sergeant:
"Preseeeeent Corkscrew!!"

[ 24 August 2001: Message edited by: Hagbard the Amateur ]

24th Aug 2001, 21:17
It's always hot in South florida, but you see we have to now digress OFF the weather, or TW will see it as continuity ...

But we CAN redigress back to coconuts ...

I'm hoping myself that the great hunter-draper might have photographic evidence of the fearsome creatures ... :rolleyes:

[ 24 August 2001: Message edited by: RW-1 ]

tony draper
24th Aug 2001, 22:11
I think I've stumbled cross something interesting here,
If you cut the strange blue spikes and the tuft of blue hair off the top of his head,and remove the red nose, Krusty the clown would be the living double of Homer Simpson.

24th Aug 2001, 23:20
"Sorry! We have flood-control activated. You cannot post within a certain number of seconds of your last post. Please try again after this period of time elapses. The current number of seconds required between posts is: 180 "

OK so I've got three windows open so far, waiting for bloodey flood control....

What's the most you've had on the go at any one time ?

Doh ! Flooded again :mad:

25th Aug 2001, 11:25
Damn it, I'm supposed to do the PFO today. I've gone an lost the plane keys. Anyone know how to hotwire a B767? :(