View Full Version : Names that cause merth and embarrasment

25th Apr 2004, 08:15
How many people hate the names their parents landed them with, as in modern times it simply reduces people to laughter?
For example, how many carry these:

Richard Head
Ronald MacDonald
Robert Alan Jobb

In Norway common first names used are: Odd and Willy.
Just imagine the combinations some poor soul out there maybe carrying.


Oshkosh George
25th Apr 2004, 09:52
Can somebody tell me what this has to do with Airlines,Airports and Routes?

Maybe it should be on the bad spelling forum?! Try MIRTH!

---------------and embarrassment!

Oshkosh George
25th Apr 2004, 11:32
--------------and imagine!!!!

25th Apr 2004, 12:10
I have a French supplier, a Monsieur Crétin. (The word has the same meaning in either French or English). Thankfully, we are on first-name terms... :)

Boss Raptor
25th Apr 2004, 13:32
I knew a Chef called Mr. Onions...he said it Owneeans...and a surgeon called Mr. De'Ath...and another called Mr. Butcher...really :E

Onan the Clumsy
25th Apr 2004, 13:37
There were undertakers in Blackpool called Box Brothers.

And I heard of an antique dealer called Robin Bastard :}

25th Apr 2004, 13:39
There's a lift manufacturer called Porn & Dunwoody. Insert up & down/shaft joke here.

Buster Hyman
25th Apr 2004, 13:43
Don't forget my sister Misty....she's a swimmer!!!:ooh:

(Edited because the spelling Nazi's are out again!!! ) ;)

25th Apr 2004, 13:46
I have a tutor.. prof in genetics and cell biology, called Dr G.M. Poppy.

25th Apr 2004, 14:02
Neither ---------------and embarrassment! nor --------------and imagine!!!! are sentences since they do not contain a verb.

Isn't pedantry fun? :E

25th Apr 2004, 14:04
Many oriental students that come to western schools adopt a local forename, and keep their surname. One chap chose Eric, surname ... Shun (well thats how it was pronounced, not sure of correct spelling).

Also, seem to recall much sniggering during school assemblies:
In true public school tradition, you were refered to by surname only or occassionally surname and initial. There was a King and a Kong that always seemed to wind up on the same list
Also the old classic, "the Headmaster would like to Smith P on the terrace after assembly"

Not forgetting the Chemistry teacher, Dr P.Ennis

25th Apr 2004, 14:07
One candidate at a jury selection was a Mr Buttinski. I could not make this up. A titter did indeed run round the court. The judge excused him from jury duty, out of general sympathy I believe.

25th Apr 2004, 14:08
Oshkosh George

I'm sure...hic!.....that I could....hic!......have done better without being under the...hic!...infiuence of that......Single malt stuff...hic!:ok:

It's got absolutely nothing to do with airports, airlines or routes, apart from the time I got absolutely slaughtered at Plymouth at Brymon's expense!

25th Apr 2004, 14:18
Actually, Caslance, neither the one nor the other IS a sentence, although they could both be read as predicates of the imperative "Try". That would not make sentences either (although definitions vary), but so what? Neither "Go away!" nor "Come back!" is a sentence by some definitions, but few of us are uncertain as to the meanings.

25th Apr 2004, 16:00
I kid you not, many moons ago when checking pax in to flight Mother,Father and son family name Pipe...wait for it...sons name Dwayne..honestly:hmm: :ouch:

25th Apr 2004, 16:08
Isabell Ender

(no, really!)


25th Apr 2004, 16:28
Richard Waddilove.


25th Apr 2004, 17:47
Spent a while in Zimbabwe, some of the local forenames are amusing:


Best of the lot was a bloke I met called "Lastone"...


25th Apr 2004, 17:59
Remember a couple from Cape Town, SA from 30 years ago:

Undertakers called Wasserfall & Hardick

and on a Church notice board immediately next door to the above:

Vicar: Rev Hittler
This weeks speaker: Mr Boreman

Wish I had taken photo's!

Oshkosh George
25th Apr 2004, 18:19
Sorry,sentences are not until the next lesson! Give a kid a break!

25th Apr 2004, 18:21
Sorry,sentences are not until the next lesson! Give a kid a break!OK, but next week it's gerunds.

You have been warned............. :ooh:

25th Apr 2004, 18:26
Golly! Then it will be gerundives. I'm outta here.

25th Apr 2004, 18:41
Golly! Then it will be gerundives. I'm outta hereWitness my power..........mwahahahahaaaaaaaaaa :E

25th Apr 2004, 19:25
It's called poker.

25th Apr 2004, 20:44
Whilst working in telesales I came across some screamers:

Fruit/veg related: Mrs Raspberry, Mr Onions, Mr Cabbage and Alice Shrubbery

Animals: Mr Badger, Mrs Chicken

Along with several Bastards, Mr Death, a certain Mr ****z, (German, rhymes with 'stunts') Mr Balls, Rev Thick, Miss Willey, Capt Sheepshanks, and my personal favourite:

Woodrow Ballcock (call me Woody, he said!)

The real joy of autodiallers is that the name pops up on the screen as they answer the phone.... this leaves you saying, Good Morning, Mr...err..um...(slaps phone down before bursting into uncontrollable giggles):}

25th Apr 2004, 21:05
I had a client, name of "Bud". What's your real name? "Bud". Bud, if I go and look at the vital statistics register, what will I find there as your true name? "Bud". O K, Bud, that's what I am going to do. Oh very well, then,"Shirley". Bud, I understand. As bad as "A Boy named Sue".

25th Apr 2004, 23:36
We have a lift manufacturer in our part of the world named "Schindler"

Puts me in mind of "Schindlers Lifts"

Trust me, it's true.

:hmm: :ok: :hmm:

407 Driver
26th Apr 2004, 00:14
I once knew a really tall skinny girl named Marnie Bean, she married a nice young chap (also quite tall) named Graham Pole

The Bean-Pole wedding :p

How about

Al Koholic, or

Robert (Bob) Loblaw

26th Apr 2004, 02:42
I thought "Pussy Galore" was pretty cool from the old James Bond film Goldfinger.:D :D :D

26th Apr 2004, 03:37
Our postmaster in a small town in Lancs (known for its busses) was a Mr Ball. Imagine our surprise when his replacement hailed as Mr Titt.

Down in darkest Afrique, Bredasdorp to be precise there was a funeral director partnership that rejoiced in the name of 'Human and Pitt'! I kid you not - I saw it with my own eyes and later saw it in Private Eye - classic.

Oh and - If your surname is Hunt, don't call you son Michael.

26th Apr 2004, 04:59
During my time in the Air force our Protestant Padre was F/L Lord. Made you wonder who you got if you had to call the Chapel, and while waiting to tee off the other day the starter announced over the PA, "Next on the number one tee, the Shanks foursome". An unfortunate name for a golfer!!

26th Apr 2004, 06:20
"Wayne Bridge" the Chelsea footballer....

One of his parents was an Electrical Engineer. A "Wein Bridge" is a circuit used to test & extimate the value of capacitors....

26th Apr 2004, 08:09
The name Genna Taylor is one that I came across up at work. Some parents have a cruel sense of humour!

26th Apr 2004, 08:33

[pedantic ON]
The name is Wien Bridge, and as the name is Germanic, it sould be pronouced "VEEN", like the capital town of Austria.
[pedantic OFF]
Engineers !!! :8 :rolleyes:

26th Apr 2004, 08:55
We (from the Empire at least!) have all heard of the cricket umpire Dickie Bird but here are a few, all true, other shockers!

Anita Bottom
Annette Kirten
Randy Bollicks
Russell Sprout
Peter Out

Can you imagine the scene at the christening? A titter rand round the congregation....! How can parents be so brainless?

Evening Star
26th Apr 2004, 12:34
When I was doing my stint as admissions tutor we had an application from a Hong Kong student called Au Wai Man. When his name appeared on our lists a lot of people thought I was taking the piss. As it was, he went to another university. Just as well really. With a name like that he was going to have terrible problems in Newcastle.

Buster Hyman
26th Apr 2004, 13:09
Theres a FA working for a, certain Asian airline, named So Dik On! We always thought she was John Bobbet's ex.

Half a Mexican
26th Apr 2004, 13:26
"The finest name in electronics" (http://www.waynekerrtest.com/index1.htm)


26th Apr 2004, 14:37
A friend of mine once knew a Dutchman whose name was Everard Koch!

Ralph the Bong
27th Apr 2004, 05:01
3 Kids at school:

Dean Sar (think about it..)

Theresa Green.

Karen Doz.

Two Flight attendants:

Honey and Fanny Chew.

27th Apr 2004, 06:57
Some other true ones.....

I once worked with a lady called Helen, who married a John Highwater.... great married name that one....

Also, I had a contact called Emma Stein, who was married to Roger. Odd feeling, meeting Roger and Emma Stein....


Desert Nomad
27th Apr 2004, 07:19
There's a jockey out here in Dubai called "Willy Supple". How cruel are hisparents?:O

27th Apr 2004, 07:22
Guy Mark Williams talked about on Discovery last night....Georges
Nagelmackers who designed the carriages for the Orient express.
Funnily enough a Belgian..and there aren't many famous ones!

27th Apr 2004, 07:49
I live in Bedfordshire and a couple of years ago there was a news report on Chiltern radio about a robbery from a local branch of Lloyds/TSB.

As god is my witness, the police officer fronting the report was none other than Inspector Robin Banks!!

27th Apr 2004, 08:36
Went to school with a Richard and Frances Ayres - Dick & Fanny Ayres.

Also at the same school were Toni & Tracey Cox - Toni was the girl???

Knew a Chinese bloke called Tit Wong!

27th Apr 2004, 09:21
On RTE radio this morning there was an advert for Smeg electrical appliances.

Another brilliant branding concept.

27th Apr 2004, 10:07
there's a journo in Germany for The Times called Roger Boyes. There was a story he covered a couple of years ago about a dodgy Catholic priest in court, and the headline was something like "Paedophile Priest Faces Jail" by Roger Boyes.

27th Apr 2004, 10:25
One of my more senior colleagues is called Dick Turpin - no word of a lie!

Mr Chips
27th Apr 2004, 12:13
Back in my saturday job days, I worked in the local library. We had a regular whose name, as written on his library card was


Now, its probably prounounced von-kow-skee, but I always looked at it, and felt that the middle "OW" was pronounced "ov" or even "off". See what I mean? (I nearly typed "see where I'm coming from, but that would have been rude!)

Funnier still, he was always writing to the local paper about the poll tax. name like that i think I would have kept a low profile!!!!


Jeffrey S
27th Apr 2004, 12:51
Teacher at Aldersley School Called Mr.Johnny

My Mother Had a teacher called Miss Wanklin
:\ :\ :\

27th Apr 2004, 12:57
Well what if Claudia Shiffer met Brains from the Thunderbirds and they got married?

Would she be CLAUDIA SHIFFER BRAINS ??:ooh:

Mostly Harmless
27th Apr 2004, 15:34
Some interesting names I’ve seen…

Family approaches counter.
“Name sir?”
“Pardon me?”
“Could you spell that for me?”
“A I N E S.”
After they leave my boss, who has been loitering about 5 feet away, comes up and says “What a bunch of assholes.” Up until that point I had managed to keep a straight face.

Friend worked with Bob Loblaw. “Bob Loblaw, telephone line one. Bob Loblaw, line one.” They lived to announce that one over the PA.

Negotiator for the local teachers union. I am unsure of the actual spelling of the man's name, but heard it every day on the radio, as a teacher's strike loomed. Dyck Hare.

Biggles Flies Undone
27th Apr 2004, 15:39
And if Una Stubbs married Idi Amin and went to live in Essex, would she be Una Amin?

27th Apr 2004, 19:10
I had a Religious Education teacher at school whose initials were S.I.N.

27th Apr 2004, 21:46
I knew a Pat Garrett, but never a Billy the Kid.

27th Apr 2004, 21:51
Seen as the first credit name after watching Tru calling on SKY1 tonight (honest there was nothing else on!!!)...BILL WANKUM..even worse is the thought he was christened WILLIAM WANKUM.

Papa Charlie
27th Apr 2004, 22:25
I used to work with someone called Barry Hunt. We called him Isaac....


28th Apr 2004, 00:18
Names... Used to collect them. As did a gentleman called Train (John Train, "Remarkable Names of Real People). A few from my list: Begonia Granja, Mary Maloof Teabaggie, Silver Poo... The list is almost endless. One of my favourites was a girl whose parents christened her Bridget. In her teens she decided to change it to Rigid. Family name Lai!

Oh, and the housemaster at school was Herr Doktor Ernst [email protected] An absolute gift to any twelve-year-old.

I wonder why we called him Ernie!

28th Apr 2004, 00:32
My particular favourite is that senior churchman in the Philippines - Cardinal Sin.

My parents were going to christen my brother as John William until Gran pointed out that at school they would call him 'little John Willie".

So they called him John Thomas instead... :hmm:

28th Apr 2004, 02:57
Used to have a neighbour called Gay Priest.

She moved to Pope Street.

compressor stall
28th Apr 2004, 06:23
Taught a Korean once called Oh Bum-Suk.

I kid you not.

Send Clowns
28th Apr 2004, 11:52
I have mentioned on a similar thread my university contemporary Euan Curr, but I did think when someone mentioned Pussy Galore that it is odd no-one added Roger Moore himself. Also we have a PPRuNe member who posts under his own name, Dick Wittingham.

28th Apr 2004, 11:56
I am recycling one of my posts to a similar thread. I had a good friend Helen, she married Nigel Highwater.:}


28th Apr 2004, 14:12
Been spaeking to a lady called

Olive Hoyle.

Buster Hyman
28th Apr 2004, 22:38
Some AFL players...Danny Dikfos, Gavin Wanganeen, Che Cockatoo-Collins

Occasional Aviator
28th Apr 2004, 23:08
Lad at my school called Paul Mycock

29th Apr 2004, 00:26
Not to be confused with Aaron Mycock....:rolleyes:


29th Apr 2004, 00:37
One of the trolley dolley's I knew was called Gaylene Hore, but always insisted on us calling her Gay, so Gay Hore it was. Thankfully she was spared the W, for all the difference it made!

Also have worked with a Wayne Kerr, splendid chap was an ex Raffer and sported one of those WWII handlebar mo's. Used to drive me potty though as he frequently puffed on a woodbine, used to end up stinking like one by the end of the flight.

Ralph the Bong
29th Apr 2004, 02:46
Ah, almost forgot;

A very attractive female FA from Korea named Wun Yung Bang.:p

29th Apr 2004, 03:32
This thread has given me some great laughs... thanks IB3148

I like to get on a PA when ever I can get away with it calling...

Mike Hunt...Mike Hunt...has anyone seen Mike Hunt!

29th Apr 2004, 09:04
I have a friend in Sweden whose name is Ann Ahlberg.

If you say it quicly it becomes Analberg, which translates into Anal Mountain in english. :O

She had gotten her first name from her grandmother on her mothers side. Her parents thought that it was a good first name and a good gesture as her the grandmother was just about to pass away.

Her middle name was Marie, so she insisted that everybody should call her Ann-Marie instead.

The last thing that I heard about her was that she was going to change her first name, which I thought was a pretty good idea... :8

29th Apr 2004, 09:09
In my TN days had a friend in SIN - Choo Tek Long. Not funny until he says "Call me Long for short".

Used to be a doctor in Rabaul Dr. Trebilcock... we ended up calling him Dr three tools!

Small minds......

29th Apr 2004, 15:39
Ah, shades of Bart Simpson and the telephone call.......

About twenty years ago I was sitting with about 40 blokes at my local golf club having a beer when the bar attendent (female)answered the phone and asked loudly if there was a Dick Pullar amongst us. There was an almost unanimous show of hands.
About 5 years ago while waiting to sign the visitors book at a club in Mt. Isa in western Queensland again the telephone rang. The young woman who was attending to us excused herself and answered the phone. She then annouced to a packed club via the P.A."telephone call for Mike Hunt, telephone call for Mike Hunt". She immediately realised what she had done after the laughter started. She was assurred that she isn't the first one to be caught and won't be the last.
Many years ago while driving home from work I noticed a sign outside the local born again christian/religious nutter/evangelical church which proudly stated that this sunday's sermon was to be given by a visiting American evangelist named Vernon Falls. Upon arriving home I duely telephoned said nutter establishment and a young women answered. I asked if their visiting evangelist Vernon Falls was any relation to Stanley and Victoria Falls. She very excitedly said that she wasn't sure but she'd check. I told her to ask the pastor and thanked her and hung up. :E

the egg man
29th Apr 2004, 17:12
the guy i worked with at britannia many moons ago was called JOHN BACH ,not so unusual you may say.
but his wife"'s name was ONYA.
ONYA BACH:ok: :ok: :ok: :ok:

29th Apr 2004, 20:51
Did a charity furniture collection one night.

The card we were given by the organiser had the name and address of the person we were collecting from.

NAME: Mrs. Clitte Guarde

2nd May 2004, 17:58
Once requested to see the passport of a young fella who was with a large group of friends, only for him to ask me not to show it to anyone...Soon realised why when he was called 'Nathanial Lovering Nuttall'

You can't ask for better... And yes I did share the joke with his mates!!!:E :E :E

RoD Flow
2nd May 2004, 19:26
Once gave the nickname 'Chris' to a friend whose surname was Peacock. Seemed funny until he told us (deadpan) that his brother's name was Chris. His Mum was way ahead of us.

Went to school with a Justin Maybe. Very vague chap.

El Grifo
3rd May 2004, 08:23
Once knew a guy in the local CID. Hhis name was Robin Pinschin.

:8 :hmm: :8