View Full Version : why does this happen?

18th Aug 2001, 05:47
Picture this.
You have held the door open for someone into the Ladies. You and this other person are the only ones in the toilets. Problem (if you could call it that) is, that you proceed to do the loudest fart imaginable...
Why does this happen, am I the only one it happens to? Am I the only female that admits to farting?? ;)

18th Aug 2001, 06:35
Nah mate....let me put it this way...the cat and I are coming a close second to Disco-Stu ;)


18th Aug 2001, 06:51
That other lady has no couth! Least she coulda done was applaud. :cool:

18th Aug 2001, 07:51
Reddo, as a long serving SNAG I find no offence in said scenario. Short of exposing your front bottom to another whilst opening the door your decorum deserves kudos from one and all.

18th Aug 2001, 09:20
Thanks for the tip Reddo, I'm staying well away from "the ladies" from now on.

sprocket: The fly on the wall. :p

compressor stall
18th Aug 2001, 10:03
:eek: :eek: Girls don't fart!!! :eek: :eek:

They produce "love puffs".

18th Aug 2001, 18:31
Why does it happen?
It's a normal primate's bodily function influenced by current metabolic state, previous food and drink, fitness level and the clench factor. Plus the large intestine is only really happy in the loo. However it is only cool if you can play a tune - say the first couple of bars of "The Long and Winding Road" :eek:

18th Aug 2001, 18:49
Allow me to introduce my wife...

18th Aug 2001, 19:47

You appear to me married to my wife :p

Please, keep her (tonight we go for a Curry, tomorrow morning doesn't bear thinking about)

18th Aug 2001, 19:57
I blame a certain scotsman who has been drip feeding you beer ;)

Cyclic Hotline
18th Aug 2001, 20:46
An old lady goes to the doctor. She tells him, that her overall health is deteriorating and she is having hearing problems and in fact, can barely hear anymore.

The doctor checks out her ears, cleans them out and gives her some drops to put in for the next few days. He tells her to return in a week for a follow up visit.

When she returns a week later, she tells the Doctor, that she can now hear almost perfectly again, but strangely - she is now suffering, non-stop, from the loudest farts that you had ever heard!

The Doctor then tells her "Well, now we have got your hearing working again, lets see if we can restore your sense of smell as well!"

Girls don't fart - it's an old wives tale! :D

Tricky Woo
19th Aug 2001, 00:29
Girls don't poo either.

19th Aug 2001, 01:43
As someone who farts prodigiously, I move that this act be elevated in its appreciation so that we can all rejoice in its performance in public.

Mind you, this excludes the "output" from Mrs Loki,though almost silent, the product possibly contravenes the Geneva Convention and several major arms limitation treaties.

19th Aug 2001, 08:38
Farting is a man thing. Ladies don't fart, they 'pump'. At least, that's what my Grandma always said when she broke wind.

Reddo has been mixing with too many uncouth men; inevitable perhaps, given her chosen occupation. The only known cure is for her to take up knitting in her spare time, after engaging the autopilot maybe? At least she is still sufficiently ladylike to hold the door open for another lady.

I once saw a documentary where a USAF C5a Captain passed the time in cruise by knitting snazzy little numbers for the rest of her crew, and jolly smart they all were too...

Through difficulties to the cinema

429 CJ
19th Aug 2001, 11:09
What? She didn't even score it for you? How common is that.

Reddo, you stick to ya guns (so to speak), if you wish to leave a reminder to the other person that you have done them a favour (ie: open the door), then she should have complimented you on your profound statement and at least tried one of her own! :eek:

20th Aug 2001, 09:38
Return the compliment?

Farting Rule Number 1: Never force a fart.

Especially on a Monday morning in a public place. Unless you have spare underwear somewhere about your person.

I warn you girls; farting is a man thing. Equality can only go so far you know!

Through difficulties to the cinema

21st Aug 2001, 18:08
Honestly Reddo, the thought never crossed my mind, but thanks for bringing this image to my attention. :D

22nd Aug 2001, 04:28

Thanks for that, its just what we wanted to know! :eek:

Howz the ATPLs going?


22nd Aug 2001, 05:18
Ladies don't fart?

My wife once brought an entire aerobics class to its knees by attempting to inflate a Zeppelin in two seconds flat (I think it was E flat).

And since we bought the lightweight duvet she does a smashing impression of a hot air balloon...but she's had to give up smoking in bed and wears a wig since the accident.


[ 22 August 2001: Message edited by: ShyTorque ]

22nd Aug 2001, 07:18
I gotta agree with CJ. Imitation is the sincerest form of flatulence...

22nd Aug 2001, 13:22
Speaking of public toilets and farting, here's a little poem that appears in many a public restroom in the US.
" Here I sit all broken hearted, tried to $&#! but only farted"

biggles mate
22nd Aug 2001, 13:44
congrats, well done ect .ect.
But always rember its batter to fart and stink a little than hold it back and be a cripple! anyway it is a good ar$e that speaks for its self :D :D ;) ;)