View Full Version : Amusing bumper stickers

Onan the Clumsy
17th Aug 2001, 17:12
"If this is blue, you are going too fast."

17th Aug 2001, 21:54
"Warp 5: A Speed Limit We Can Live With!"

Onan the Clumsy
18th Aug 2001, 01:51
Or that stupid one... "Baby on board"

Let's see, I'm hydroplaning, I'm totally out of control, I have tunnel vision, but WAIT: I can't hit THAT car, there's a BABY on board.

DX Wombat
18th Aug 2001, 01:57
BE ALERT - YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS LERTS! ;) :confused: :rolleyes:

18th Aug 2001, 03:21
DX, sod that, be aloof, we've got enough lerts!

18th Aug 2001, 04:34
One I like, with a real message:-

"If you can read this - thank a teacher!"

I regard it as a tribute to a largely undervalued profession.

There ought to be an aviation version:-

"If you can fly this - thank an instructor!"

18th Aug 2001, 07:12
Seen on the bumper of a sheep truck "Eat more lamb - a million dingoes can't be wrong." :D

18th Aug 2001, 09:41
Not amusing - quite the opposite, but effective.

'The closer you get, the slower I go'

18th Aug 2001, 23:24
For those not familiar with a certain British chocolate biscuit snack and their advertising slogan, this might not mean much ...

"Have a break. Get your Kit-Off"

[ 18 August 2001: Message edited by: PAXboy ]

19th Aug 2001, 01:13
2 Fast 4 U.

Put on a Citroen CV2 ;)

Bally Heck
19th Aug 2001, 01:38
On the back of a sewage truck

"Bloggs Sewage Disposal....Number One in the Number Two Business"

(While trying to locate the name of "Bloggs Sewage" came accross a website called www.sewage.net. Definitely to be missed!)

19th Aug 2001, 01:39
seen in texas
Keep honking I'm reloading.

Nice personalized numberplate I saw on an BMW

19th Aug 2001, 12:24
"Honk if your horn is broken"


"My other car's bumper sticker is funny"

[ 19 August 2001: Message edited by: FNG ]

Arm out the window
19th Aug 2001, 14:35
Some drivers round here must be going for honesty -

'Rum Pig' (usually on the back of a ute)


'Bitch' - fair enough!

biggles mate
19th Aug 2001, 15:32
On my 17 year old sons car sposeaphukisoutathequestion.
(his grandmother took 3 weeks to work it out and has not spoken to him since. :eek: :eek: :eek:

Capt Claret
19th Aug 2001, 20:00
Rear window of a ute:

Dip me in honey
and throw me to the lesbians!

Seen more recently as some one's signature here on PPRuNe.

19th Aug 2001, 20:11
"Don't like my driving? Call 1-800-Eat [email protected]"

"Pilots Need Love Too"

19th Aug 2001, 21:21

[ together with a diagramatic picture of a whale with a large tick mark next to it, and a human face, appearing to of oriental extraction with a tommy gun next to the ear ]

[ 19 August 2001: Message edited by: Blackshirt ]

Co ordination unaffected
19th Aug 2001, 21:25
If I want you up my a*se I'll kiss you first

20th Aug 2001, 01:09
"Cover me, I'm overtaking"

tony draper
20th Aug 2001, 01:33
"One of these days you won't be passing me".

for the back window of a hearse.

20th Aug 2001, 01:37
Those 'Baby on Board's once pissed me off aswell until I saw one that said, 'Baby on Toast', now they always remind me of that. :)

Another favourite is the christian fish symbol with legs and the words: Darwin Lives.

Craig Pollard
20th Aug 2001, 04:03
Saw a good one yesterday.

"Do not pass overturning vehicle" :D

I was actually quite appropriate given the state of the car and the age of the 6 passengers (in a 5 seater car) :eek:

20th Aug 2001, 15:55
A friend of mines got: "Keep dangerous driving off the roads - drive on the pavement". ;)

Another ive seen quite a lot is: "I hate old people 'cos they smell of wee". A little harsh maybe? What do the 'older' PPRuNers think? :confused:

Finally, on the subject of "Baby on board" signs, "[email protected]@rd on board" always makes me chuckle. :D

20th Aug 2001, 16:16
Recently saw this bumper sticker:

"God was my Co-Pilot, but we crashed on a mountain and I had to eat Him."

Onan the Clumsy
20th Aug 2001, 18:08
Not exactly a bumper sticker, but I saw a guy riding a motorbike with a tee shirt that said (on the back)...

If you can read this, the bitch fell off.

20th Aug 2001, 18:30
Not a bumper sticker but in the rear window of a C 172 "Don't tell mother I'm a pilot she thinks I play piano in a whore house!"

20th Aug 2001, 18:31
"Save a job, shoot an environmentalist"

Onan the Clumsy
20th Aug 2001, 21:10
Over in the Colonies - especially these parts, you can often see a red and white sticker with the words (I'm being serious now)

"WARNING: In case of Rapture, this car will be unmanned."

Makes you sort of look forward to it.

The Voice
21st Aug 2001, 02:58
sighted on a small cylinder something or other:

bumper sticker: VP POWER
reg. plate: NOT

kept me amused for ages!!

[ 20 August 2001: Message edited by: The Voice ]

21st Aug 2001, 06:07
As seen on a bikers girlfriend

"I'm the Bitch!"

(In respone to Onans post)

[ 21 August 2001: Message edited by: BobzYurUnkl ]

21st Aug 2001, 09:44
A vanity plate on a Rover "Bow Wow"

Bobby Guzzler
21st Aug 2001, 13:39
Saw a bumper sticker when travelling back down the M1 a while back.

"A dog is not for Christmas, just for Friday nights"


I want one of them, it's genius! - Needless to say, I've never seen them in any major retail outlets! ;)

21st Aug 2001, 14:30
Found this list... :D

-Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
-I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
-Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
-WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
-You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
-BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
-I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
-So you're a feminist....Isn't that cute!
-I need someone really bad... are you really bad?
-I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
-Hard work has a future payoff, laziness pays off now.
-Prevent inbreeding: ban country music.
-As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
-WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition
-Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
-God must love stupid people, he made so many.
-When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
-Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
-I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
-Where there's a will, I want to be in it!
-It's lonely at the top, but you eat better..
-We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
-I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.
-3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
-Always remember, you're unique, just like everyone else.
-Ted Kennedy has killed more people with his car than I've killed with my gun.

I wasnt bored...honest! :p

21st Aug 2001, 17:21
As seen on the rear of a BMW:
"My other car is a Volkswagon" :D

21st Aug 2001, 18:10
Years ago I used to carry the following bumper sticker:

"An obedient woman is a happy woman"

At least then I thought it was funny... :D

biggles mate
21st Aug 2001, 23:53
Seen on a security van;
So many Ar$holes so few bullets:: :D :D ;)

22nd Aug 2001, 04:19
Honk if you've never seen a drive by.

22nd Aug 2001, 07:12
OK I digress slightly, this was actually on a t-shirt worn by a large hairy biker I passed in Darwin.

(front) It takes a big man to cry in public.
(back) And a bigger one to laugh at the soft-cock

22nd Aug 2001, 08:40
So many pedestrians, so little time.

eyes wide shut
22nd Aug 2001, 11:34
" Drink until he's cute "

22nd Aug 2001, 17:50
Hsd one many years ago-

"I need some one really bad-are you really bad?"

Took it off after I noticed a nun reading it at church- if looks could kill.

Current favorite- "My kid can beat up your honor student" :p

Onan the Clumsy
22nd Aug 2001, 18:08
My Border Collie is smarter than your Honour Student.

22nd Aug 2001, 18:13
On the back of a people-carrier, but would be appropriate for PAX too:

"Get in, sit down, keep still and shut up !"

22nd Aug 2001, 18:17
... and anyone else remember the "DIVVENT DUNSHUS WAH GEORDIES" sticker ?

23rd Aug 2001, 12:03
Seen in california:

No kids on board - you can crash into me.

23rd Aug 2001, 14:13
Seen on a sticker, please don't take offence.

"Grow your own dope..........plant a man"

:p :p :p

23rd Aug 2001, 17:40
Favourites are

"The Fur Seals favourite drink? - Canadian club on the rocks!"
"I support the indiscriminate torture of small wide eyed furry animals"

I had a friend who is into "Save the Whales" My wife made her a T-Shirt with a picture of a msuhroom cloud over a whale with the logo "Nuke the whales". On the back was "I support project Judas". She never wore the shirt. Some people huh!

Charlie Foxtrot India
23rd Aug 2001, 18:12
"See you at the undertaker, overtaker!"

"when god made men she was only joking"

Captain Nomad
23rd Aug 2001, 18:16
A few more bumper ones from Australia:

"Don't laugh - at least it's paid for"

"Can't find your cat? Try checking under my tyres..."

"When I grow up I wanna be a V8!"

"Zero to bitch in 30 seconds"

Yeah, and I have always disliked them 'Baby On Board' signs too :mad: How the heck are they supposed to change the way you drive??!!

Continuous Ignition
23rd Aug 2001, 20:07
My personal favorite
"Drive it like you stole it"

Seems to fit me.. Funny the cops don't have a sence of humour about my driving habits..

Lon More
24th Aug 2001, 21:18
If you're not into oral sex - KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT
If you're not the lead dog the view never changes.
I have a drinking problem, 2 hands and only 1 mouth.
Don't sweat the petty things just pet the sweaty things
I'm one of the bad things that happen to good people.
Bad Girls deserve a good licking.
Yoy never really know a woman until you meet her in court.
Honk to see finger.
Make love, not war - or get married and do both.
In a N.Y. taxi, "Warning, driver only carries $25 in ammo."

24th Aug 2001, 21:25
Suprised no one reported:

"Remember when SEX was safe and FLYING was dangerous?"

25th Aug 2001, 02:15
I brake for Daleks.

25th Aug 2001, 02:20
Seen even here in Latvia:

"If you're rich I'm single."

25th Aug 2001, 20:03
Not a bumper sticker, more a graffito. People conventionally write with their fingers in the muck on the back of dirty white vans: "clean me". Recently, certain wags have taken to writing instead: "I wish my wife was this dirty". Added in anoither hand underneath: "She is".

26th Aug 2001, 10:57
Some favorite tailgating bumper stickers:

Of course you're faster, but I'm driving in front of you.

Now that you are on my ass you wanna get married?

Unless you are a hemroid, get off my ass!

If you can't stop when I do, smile as you go under!

I drive the speed limit. If you don't like it call a cop!

Too Close for Missiles, Switching to Guns

Do Not Tailgate, Or I Will Flick a Booger on Your windshield!

(Placed on the front printed in reverse letters to be read in a rearview mirror) If you can read this you are going too slow.

(On back of a motorhome) Stay back or I'll flush!

If you'll get any closer, I'll fart


Mac the Knife
26th Aug 2001, 12:25
I bought one of these years ago (just before the street-vendor was arrested).

England 39
Italy 0
Heysel Stadium 1985

"...in the worst possible taste."

26th Aug 2001, 15:12
"I'm on PMS and have a gun! Any questions?"

Ella Valet
26th Aug 2001, 15:57
- I brake for no apparent reason
- I'm not as think as you drunk I am
- It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you
- I love cats...they taste just like chicken
- Hit me, I need money
- Eschew obfuscation
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't

Check 6
26th Aug 2001, 19:49
Seen in California: Tight butts drive me nuts.

Seen in Italy: Bimbo a bordo (baby on board) :D

Carpet Rodent
28th Aug 2001, 21:42
On the back of an old Cortina: If I want you up my @rse, I'll kiss you first

And on the back of a Escort: My Mother-in-Law's an ANGEL - You're lucky. Mine's still alive :D

29th Aug 2001, 04:10
On the back of my old mans ute "I'm not an alcoholic.... they go to meetings"
And one that I saw yesterday that made me laugh "Cool chicks don't wear undies" :D ;)

29th Aug 2001, 08:53
Seen on a Rolls Royce in Johannesburg ...

F**k the poor! :eek:

Time Bomb Ted
29th Aug 2001, 10:33
If you can read this,
Where the hell is my caravan?

Instant Idiot
Just add alcohol :D

29th Aug 2001, 17:15
"My other car's a Porsche"

- Seen on the back of a Porsche

Seen on the back of a white van on the M1 written in the dirt (highly un-PC):

"WANTED: 4 black people to act as mudflaps. Must be flexible and willing to travel."

Made Guy
29th Aug 2001, 17:56
Seen in Florida on Redneck looking pickup

"I got a gun for my wife - it was a good trade!"

It made me laugh, until I saw the driver & guessed it was a fact not a joke..... :eek: :eek: :eek:

F/O Junior
30th Aug 2001, 13:41
"Jesus might love you, but I still think you're an idiot."

Onan the Clumsy
30th Aug 2001, 17:39
If they outlaw guns, can we use swords?

30th Aug 2001, 20:03
Sticker on Harley rider's helmet:

Asz, gas or gras, nobody rides for free.

Be thinking of putting that sticker on my kit-bag, but perhaps the chief pilot has limited sense of humor? :D

Edited for the usual spelling problems

[ 30 August 2001: Message edited by: TowerDog ]

31st Aug 2001, 05:18
Saw this one while driving yesterday

My Karma ran over my Dogma

Double Asymmetric
31st Aug 2001, 12:03
WARNING: Horn broken, watch for finger.

2 sheds
1st Sep 2001, 03:39
More back-of-dirty-white-van humour:

"Also comes in white"

"So does the driver"

3rd Sep 2001, 06:44
"if it swells, ride it"
"I love animals, they taste good"

Voodoo 3
3rd Sep 2001, 15:20
Glider Pilots do it quietly!!!!!!! :)

3rd Sep 2001, 21:33
"Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades"

"Skydivers go down faster"
"Pilots keep it up longer"

And from my previous profession:-
"Lawyers make it stand up in court"
"Old lawyers never die - they simply lose their appeal"

[ 03 September 2001: Message edited by: HugMonster ]

3rd Sep 2001, 21:57
"You are right, they know what you are doing and they are out to get you"

Seen on the back of an old pickup truck.
"Drunk Drivers against Mad Mothers"
(takes a big set to wear that one on your bumper)

4th Sep 2001, 03:11
Another "not quite a bumper sticker", seen writen on the back of a very dirty van.
Don't wash me - Plant a flower. :D

4th Sep 2001, 05:41
This vehicle stops for blondes and brunettes. For redheads it'll back up 300 feet.

4th Sep 2001, 16:52
On a friends truck-

"Looking for your cat- check under my tires"

"Uh, Bob- I think the reason you're not meeting many women...."

8th Sep 2001, 06:14
pilots get high for a living :p

8th Sep 2001, 08:46
"DEATH IS THE NUMBER ONE KILLER" is my personal favourite! :rolleyes:

8th Sep 2001, 12:34
Two of my favourites from the States:

"Money isn't everything - but it keeps the kids in touch."

And on a flashy convertible driven by a middle-aged gentleman......

"It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood."

9th Sep 2001, 21:26
And my all time favourite:

Pilots do it better

10th Sep 2001, 19:57
Mercedes 500SLC plate "SMERC"
Sports bike plate "LETHAL"
Vandalised BMW plate "4MYHSC"
(HSC=higher school certificate)
and on the back of a clapped out holden
"overtake - running OUT"

Elliot Moose
11th Sep 2001, 16:43
"I'm okay--you're a sh!thead"

12th Sep 2001, 07:57
On a V8 - "Only milk and fruitjuice come in 2 litres."