View Full Version : It's Official! The Worst Song Ever!

21st Apr 2004, 18:28
Is Starship's "We Built This City" according to Blender magazine. (http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Music/04/21/music.worst.songs.ap/index.html)

Now, I think there others far more deserving, some I can think of:

1. The Knack, "My Sharona"
2. Everything by Britney Spears
3. Clive Dunn, "Grandad We Love You"
4. The Goddies, "Funky Gibbon"
5. William Shatner, "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"

and there must be more....:E


21st Apr 2004, 19:22
2. Everything by Britney Spears

Amen! :ok:

21st Apr 2004, 20:33
Agadoo isn't it ? :ugh:

How about "Mistletoe and wine" ... or any Cliff Richard Christmas song for that matter :yuk:

Or "Simply having an wonderful Christmastime" by Wings :ugh:

21st Apr 2004, 20:58
Is Starship's "We Built This City"

I cannot possibly concur with that statement........

I lurve that song. :ok:

21st Apr 2004, 21:05
And what, pray, was wrong with The Funky Gibbon? It did not, perhaps, reach the musical heights of Black Pudding Bertha but it did in its own way advancve the genre of the novelty song. :8

Personally I think that Tie a Yellow Bloody Ribbon Round the Old Oak Sodding Tree should be confined to Room 101 along with Shaddupya Effing Face and that bloody charity song sung by Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson et al that begins with the line 'I believe that children are our Future...'

Come to think of it, all charity songs could join it, no matter how good the cause. :yuk:

21st Apr 2004, 21:30
"Ringo" by Lorne Greene, [but the "B" side "Bonanza" was even worse]
Agadoo, Black Lace

21st Apr 2004, 22:45
2. Everything by Britney Spears

wait a sec... i thought this list was for worst song ever? I didn't realize Britney spears actually made something you could consider a song. :rolleyes:

Onan the Clumsy
21st Apr 2004, 22:49
"We had joy we had fun/
we had seasons in the sun/
but the joy is now gone/
because I'm dying of cancer."


21st Apr 2004, 23:56
A lot of the beatles songs are overrated.

I want to hold your hand.. I want to hold your haaannnd... I want to hold your hand. .....WTF? Thats some of the worst music i've ever heard!

The stones were much better.

22nd Apr 2004, 00:22
If I may........

Anything that has been produced by those twats Stock, Aitken and Waterman.

22nd Apr 2004, 00:32
Have to agree - the Beatles are right up there with Stock, Aitken,Waterman....they're just an older variation.

A hugely overrated band.

22nd Apr 2004, 01:21
"Honey," by Bobby Goldsborough. :yuk: :yuk: :yuk:

22nd Apr 2004, 01:57
The fast food song by the Fast food rockers!!!!
WTF was that all about?

henry crun
22nd Apr 2004, 02:56
All this modern stuff yer quoting pales into insignificance beside some of the older songs.

How about this gem, first verse only, don't want to send you into shock.

Mairzy dotes and dozy dotes and little lamsy divey,
A kiddly divey too - wouldn't you,
Mairzy dotes and dozy dotes and little lamsy divey,
A kiddle divey too - wouldn't you.

As someone once said, "They don't write them like that any longer" . :)

22nd Apr 2004, 06:42
Sorry folks ... I've got the winner right here ...

MacArthur Park (sp? Mc?).

Of all the truly dreadful songs ever written in the history of the universe this utterly inane piece of drivel has to be the absolute worst.

Leaving cakes out in the rain?
Green icing flowing down?
It took so long to bake it and I'll never have that recipe again????

Dear God!

:yuk: :yuk: :yuk: :yuk: :yuk: :yuk:

22nd Apr 2004, 06:47
Or "Simply having an wonderful Christmastime" by Wings

Each and every christmas song, and each and every all star band song. Songs by football (soccer) teams.

22nd Apr 2004, 07:59
I can't believe no-one has mentioned the Birdie Song, a popular choice at family held discos.

Now what is that fat birds name who won pop idol...........

22nd Apr 2004, 08:18
My opinion, anything by Air Supply. Horrible.

22nd Apr 2004, 08:35
Anything by Celene Dion !

22nd Apr 2004, 10:26
Grandma we love you - St Winifreds school choir - eek

Aileron Roll
22nd Apr 2004, 10:39
anything by Red Hot Chilly Peepers

22nd Apr 2004, 11:28
The list is endless but:-

Two Little Boys - Rolf Harris
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen (pretentious clap trap)
Long Haired Lover From Liverpool - Jimmy Osmond
I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston ( Come on - this is dire)
Lovely Day - Bill Whithers (unending repetition of the words Lovely Day makes want to:yuk:

Anything played at wedding receptions and office Christmas parties

astir 8
22nd Apr 2004, 12:35
Worst song - scale of 1 to 3

Madonna's version of "American Pie"
Madonna's version of "American Pie"
Madonna's version of "American Pie"

Jelly Baby Freak
22nd Apr 2004, 12:51
Rolf Harris "Two Little Boys" what a load of sentimental twoddle:mad:
And that Winifred's School Choir singing about
'Grandma' :}
'Makes me seeth!' as the man from Purley once said!

Mr Chips
22nd Apr 2004, 13:09
As a DJ (when not in the office), it must be time that i piled in on this one!!!

Astir 8 spot on - that Madonna version was a travesty


Anything played at wedding receptions and office Christmas parties

Can you qualify that? Anything played at Wedding receptions? I have played countless wedding receptions, nad play a range of music spanning all decades since the 1940s and most musical genres. Now, i wil admit that we don't play much Jethro Tull or Trad Jazz... but I feel a rather sweeping generalisation on your part???? ;)

I can't believe no-one has mentioned the Birdie Song, a popular choice at family held discos.

Not at discos that I do!!! Even family oriented ones!!! (did once have it listed on an advance play list!)

Now what is that fat birds name who won pop idol...........

Oh no! Don't even get me started on Pop Idol! Records reaching number1 simply because of all the hype, songs that never actually get played anywhere! As fo rall the talentles wannabes that question whether Pete Waterman, Simon Cowell and Neil Fox actually know anything about commercial pop!!!!!!

rant over

I hate boy bands

Except Blue

well, some of their stuff. Well, Rise actually. Rest of it is rubbish

Available for hire!

22nd Apr 2004, 13:17
Mr Chips

Mainly coz i dance inapropriately after too many drinks and hate the record afterwards. And yes it was a general swipe too far.

Rushton (Devil's Advocate)

Mr Chips
22nd Apr 2004, 13:20
Rushton with reasoning like that, you are absolved , forgiven and any other words that mean the same thing!

as for
And yes it was a general swipe too far
I didn't think there was such a thing on JB!!!


22nd Apr 2004, 13:26
Celine Dion is bad but not as bad as ............................................................ .........................................Paul Nicholas

22nd Apr 2004, 14:33
No Limits by 2unlimited

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, there's no limits aahem I mean lyrics:mad:

Let me hear you say yeah

No-no, no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no there's no limit
No-no, no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no there's no limit

No, no limits
We'll reach for the sky
No valley too deep, no mountain too high

No, no limits
Won't give up the fight
We do what we want and we do it with pride

Rap 1:
Hard to the core, I fill the floor
When I'm on stage, yo, you ask for more
I'm on the edge, I know the ledge
I work real hard to collect my cash
Tikie, tikie, tik, take the time
When I'm going, I'm going for mine
Open your ears and you will hear it
I tell you this cause there's no limit

Rap 2:
No limits allowed cause there's much crowd
Microphone check as I choose my route
I'm playing on the rope, I've got no fear
The sound from my mouth is rap you hear
No valley too deep, no mountain too high
Reach the top, touch the sky
You try to dis me cause I sell out
I'm making techno and I am proud

what a load of tripe :sad:

Biggles Flies Undone
22nd Apr 2004, 14:37
Rolf Harris - Two Little Boys. Absolute stinker :ok:

22nd Apr 2004, 15:24
Kylie Minogue:
Can´t get you of my head (or something like that)

Biggles Flies Undone
22nd Apr 2004, 15:29
EDDN - it may be a totally forgettable song but just turn the sound down and watch the video.... :E

22nd Apr 2004, 16:08
I've been playing this game with musically minded friends for 35 years and I've found in hindsight that a lot of the usual suspects are fashionable selections; Seasons in the Sun, Honey, (ho ho ho, let's all scoff together, secure in our mutual knowledge of what makes a truly awful song!!).

The same hindsight tells me that opinions like “anything by Celine Dion” are designed to place the commentator firmly in the “cool” category. I don’t like most CD songs either, and I think Whitney Houston has got a lot to answer for, but to suggest that people with great voices are responsible for the worst songs of all time is silly.

Let’s go back to “I should be so Lucky” by Kylie Minogue. Difficult to find a positive word about that. Let’s also revisit a lot of obvious targets from any soap star come recording artist, or all of Stock Aitken Waterman’s catalogue as Jerricho suggested.

Let’s also think about songs from the likes of Charlene, whoever she was, with I've Never Been To Me. Rare is it that a song sends chills of disbelief down my spine, but that’s one of them. Truly, truly awful.

I could go back to my youth and mention songs thankfully forgotten, like Nobody’s Child by Karen somebody. In fact I will go back to said youth. I have to concede that Two Little Boys ranks very highly on the Worst List, but I happen to regard Rolf Harris as a very talented man, and those who dismiss him out of hand couldn’t hold a candle to him in terms of talent.

I have rambled enough. The Worst Song Ever Recorded Anywhere, by Anybody, at Any Time, and I regret to say that only my fellow Australians will know of what I speak, is……

I Thank You, by Lionel Rose. (Yes, the boxing champion). You don’t know the definition of bad until you’ve heard it.

(errr.. Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep was pretty bad too)


Onan the Clumsy
22nd Apr 2004, 16:31
Wasn't there a song with a cartoon dog singing...

I can't get my head out of you ?


22nd Apr 2004, 20:03
Philistines! I see Celine Dion and Air supply and (Good Lord!) RHCP there! how could you! Between Dion's version of Power of love and the entire Californication album you've got a bunch of damn good songs!

wish Hindi film musc could make it to this list... its beat the stuff here hands down... maybe not "Mistletoe and Wine" :D

Just today I heard this song (Hindi) that goes... "Ding Dong! Oh baby Sing a song!"


its from the eighties. Wish itd stayed there.

Kung Fu fighting should be on that list. Also King of the Bongo. I am the Walrus.

whoever suggested "No Limts" by 2unlimited should also give "Exterminate" by SNAP a go... :yuk:

22nd Apr 2004, 20:15
" The lords prayer"

22nd Apr 2004, 20:38
Rolf Harris. I actually like "Two Little Boys"!:sad:

Now, Chris DeBurgh's "Lady in Red":yuk:

Stylophone owner (white and in perfect working order)

22nd Apr 2004, 20:50
"Vindaloo", by Keith Allen- F***wit's anthem par excellence.

"Agadoo", see above

"Ernie", by Benny Hill, `cos it made me cry when I was a nipper.

Virtually all songs done by football teams.

British national Anthem; it is a dirge. Not even Jimmy Hendrix could liven it up.

"Turtle Power", Mutant Ninja Turtles; made my fillings hurt.

22nd Apr 2004, 21:24
I think the song "No way No way" by Vanilla was the worst. If you are unsure of who they were then check the link.

Vanilla- No way No way (http://www.creen.demon.co.uk/vanilla.html)

22nd Apr 2004, 21:41
This one MUST be a contender - I mean, what the heck was it all about??

I Am The Walrus - The Beatles

I am he as you are he as you are me
and we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun
see how they fly
I'm crying
Sitting on a cornflake
Waiting for the van to come
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you've been a naughty boy
you let your face grow long

I am the eggman
they are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob

Mr. city policeman sitting
pretty little policemen in a row
See how they fly like Lucy in the sky
See how they run
I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm crying
Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife
Pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl
you let your knickers down

I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob

Sitting in an English garden
waiting for the sun
If the sun don't come you get a tan
from standing in the English rain

I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob

Expert, texpert choking smokers
don't you think the joker laughs at you
See how they smile like pigs in a sty
See how they snide
I'm crying
Semolina pilchard
climbing up the Eiffel tower
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man, you should have seen them kicking
Edgar Allan Poe

I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob
Goo goo g' joob
Goo goo g' goo
goo goo g' joob goo
juba juba juba
juba juba juba
juba juba juba juba
juba juba

:confused: :confused:

22nd Apr 2004, 21:42
Snap, Rhythm is a dancer.
Just for the line

"I'm as serious as cancer
When I say
Rhythm is a dancer"

22nd Apr 2004, 21:45
I am the Walrus - Wasn't it all about stuffing your body full of LSD?

I think we might be drifting off thread, however. Crap lyrics abound but they don't necessarily make a bad song.

22nd Apr 2004, 22:42
Anything with BAKER in the title.

"Ma Baker" that awful Boney M song.

"Baker Street" by Gerry Rafferty.

AARGH! I can still hear them both, pounding and pounding through the walls of my little padded cell.....

NURSE, my tablets!! :ooh:

Aah, that's better. All I can hear now is the Birdy Song and Dean Friedman :ok:

22nd Apr 2004, 22:49
Dean Friedman

What? Are you crazy? How the hell can you say what you just said? :D

Tonic Please
22nd Apr 2004, 23:12
Through browsing our collection of many hundreds of channels via our NTL box, I came across MTV (or one of its denominations). There was some young lad, about my age, "talking" a song called...as I discovered this evening out of coincidence..."Fit and you know it".

Erm...Exscuse me? You are intending to go to a record company..and talk "i fink your fit..and you know it"..with absolutely no singing voice. You then intend to talk this onto a CD with the most awful, dreaded accompaniment ever created by a computer (alonigside that R and B claptrap BS), and sell it in shops in the hope some stupid, deaf individual will by it and enjoy it?

:mad: OFF YOU ****.

Now please, fellow PPRuNers. I beg you to read the following lyrics. I found them, I dont know them! Imagine these, being spoken as you read them. With whatever you can call a backing track I dont know. It has to be the worst song of all time. (I may be young, but do have knowledge of older music than you might think from someone my age ;))

"Fit But You Know It"

See I reckon you're about an 8 or a 9,
Maybe even 9 and a half in four beers time.
That blue top shop top you've got on IS nice,
Bit too much fake tan though - but yeah you score high.

But theres just one little thing that really really,
Really really annoying me about you you see,
Yeah yeah like i said you are really fit
But my gosh don't you just know it

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though i would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit But my gosh dont you know it

So when i looked at you standing there with your hoard,
I was waiting in the que looking at the board
Wondering whether to have a Burger or chips
Or what the shrapnel in my back pocket could afford
When i noticed out the corner of my eye
Looking toward my direction
Your eyes locked onto my course
I couldnt concentrate on what i wanted to order,
Which cost me my place in the queue i waited for YEAH

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though i would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit But my gosh dont you know it

Whoa! Leave it out
Are you smoking something?
Leave it Out
Mike just leave it just leave it
We cannot have that behaviour in this establishment
S'not worth it mike, just leave it
Dont Touch Me, S'not Worth It
Dont Touch Me, D, Look Im Alright Dont Touch me

For a while there i was thinkin - yeah but what if?
Picturin' myself pullin with bare white hot wit
Snarin you as you were standing there opposite
Whether or not you knew it i swear you didnt tick
And when that bloke in the white behind us lot queuing
Was clockin onto you too yeah i had to admit
That yeah yeah you are fit,
And yeah i do want it,
But i stop sharkin' for a minute to get chips and drinks

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though i would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit But my gosh dont you know it

Oy, just as you started to make your big advance
With the milkshake and that little doughnut in hand
I was like nah, even though you look grand
But you look sharp there smilin hard suggesting and
Gleaming away with your hearty hearty lookin tan
But i admit the next bit was spanner to my plan
You walked towards my path but just brushed right past
And into the arms of that white shirted man

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though i would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit But my gosh dont you know it

Oh what do i give .. i've got a girlfirend anyway
(whoa, we've all had a drink mate)
We're all a bit drunk, yeah we've had a few fair play
I got this stella i bombed from that last cafe
This nights not even begun, yes yes oh yay

I did fancy you a bit though yeah i must say
I would rather i hadnt mugged myself on display
But this is just another case of female stopping play
On otherwise a total result of a holiday

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though i would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit But my gosh dont you know it

:p :p :p :p

Ok. Laughing fir over.

Dan:} (Man that was funny)

Onan the Clumsy
22nd Apr 2004, 23:23
That blue top shop top you've got on IS nice IS as in Information Systems?

The Doubtful Guest
23rd Apr 2004, 07:31
12 hours flying time from home and djs still bothered me with that awful "hey, baby" performed by tyrolean farmer called "dj ötzi" :yuk:
there are things you can't escape from on this planet :\
bye the way "lady marmalade" makes me sick either...


Ralph the Bong
23rd Apr 2004, 08:45
Bah, no sense of taste you Philistines:}

"Two Little Boys" By Rolf Harris is supreme testiment to undying, lifelong mateship. Besides my dear Dad used to sing me to sleep with it:} (I agree with you on this one Bino, Rolf Harris is a true showman and a humble, hardworking entertainer)

The loathsome "Lady in red" takes on a whole new meaning after you've seen American Psycho.:sad:

Focus produced a great piece of funk/rock called "Harem Scarem"with only one word in the lyrics: the word "Yeah".:8

"I am the walrus"-A magnifcent, surrealistic protest regarding lonliness in the capitalist state.

I used to appriciate Heavy Metal(KISS, Anvil, Motorhead, Guns n Roses etc.) as it has been the only artform in history to founded completly on self-parody. Regretably, this fact was lost on most fans who failed to understand that they were being made fun of by their idols.

The worst would have to be "My cup runneth over with love" by Iforgethisname.:yuk: The violin part makes me want to wrap a stringed instrument around someones neck.:p