View Full Version : Only in america ...

19th Apr 2004, 02:29

At first i thought this was the usual stuff you find everywhere in the good ol' USA, but then i read the last paragraph. Apperently we have reached a whole new level of stupidity.

Get this: She is suing the guys girlfriends' mother, for giving 'her' the car, which 'she' gave to him for a quick ride, to kill himself?


in the very slim possibility that this lawsuit should stand after the first few munites in court, i guess parents all around the country will be afraid of buying their kids a car for their 16th birthday from now on.

anyway, carry on!


I guess someone should go tell her she could also sue the company that made the car for not providing a safe car, then she could also sue the tire manufactures - i bet those were firestone tires! She could also sue the idiot who put the light poll in the cars path too (afterall, which dumbwit would put a light pole right there ?).

Aileron Roll
19th Apr 2004, 06:02
Another good one I saw about the girl who sued (and won) her ex boyfriend who dumped her the night before the Prom..........

19th Apr 2004, 06:16
Dear Mattpilot,

Yes well, the lawsuit sounds pretty dumb, all right, but, umm, your spelling... don't you have 'Spellcheck' or something similar (a dictionary?) ready to hand?

Here you are exposing someone else's stupidity, and fair enough I guess, but then you get hung up on words such as 'munites' for 'minutes'. That's just going to confirm the prejudices of your primary audience here, a lot of Brits who fancy themselves better educated than we Yanks. Their weather is lousy, their cooking is worse, about all they have left is their language, English as she is wrote, so that you should try not to get them too excited by the fact of our being the dominant English-speaking nation and being so careless of what we have taken over. One could easily find oneself being sued....

19th Apr 2004, 06:52
Chuks - English as she is wrote, so that you should try not to get them too excited by the fact of our being the dominant English-speaking nation and being so careless of what we have taken over.

-- I hereby sue you for poor grammar.

So that you don't have to fork out loads of wedge to Davaar or Flying Lawyer to defend you, why not stuff stacks of (100) dollar bills into a supermarket carrier bag and e-mail it to me as an attachment?

Yours in anticipation,

Angels.:ok: :ok:

19th Apr 2004, 07:15
We have agreed a long time ago not to make comments about other members' orthograph and grammar...

19th Apr 2004, 07:47
I can accept most insults about England, but "their cooking is worse,". From someone whose fellow countrymen eat grits :yuk: and pancakes for breakfast!!.
(and don't forget, 20% of all meals eaten outside the home in the USA are McDonalds:yuk: :yuk: :yuk: )

Flyblue, I wouldn't say that Angels comments were cheap ""why not stuff stacks of (100) dollar bills into a supermarket carrier bag"


19th Apr 2004, 07:59
Oh dear, sorry flyblue -- I was speaking in jest I assure you. That's what the :ok: :ok: were meant to convey.

That said, I would still welcome the receipt of a carrier bag stuffed full of 100 dollar bills....

19th Apr 2004, 08:07
No prob angels... just a topic that has been debated to death and we now know by heart the way it's going to deteriorate...;)

19th Apr 2004, 08:15
It is indeed a sad sign, mattpilot. We have become so used to fobbing off onto others the responsibility for what we do, that we are no longer able to accept accountability for our own actions.

The more I hear of these specious actions, the more p!ssed off I become about the victim mentality which has become far too prevalent. I hope that when this case arrives in court the judge has enough integrity to ask a lot of questions. Among them, the following;

Why did he choose to drink?
Why did he choose to drive having been drinking?
Why did he choose to disregard the more than well-advertised warnings about the consequences of drinking and driving?
Why did he fail to organise alternative transport, knowing that he would be drinking and that the owner of the vehicle would be unable to drive?

The girlfriend must certainly accept some responsibility here too for permitting her car to be driven by someone who had been drinking but whichever way you look at it, it has nothing to do with the manufacturer of the beer or any perceived notion that drinking is glamorous.

Let's start making these morons accept responsibility for their own actions and let's stop playing this "I'm a victim" game.

19th Apr 2004, 09:58
Sorry about infringing on Unwritten Rule #206, there. I thought it was just a fair comment if one wanted to point out the hue of that pot over there... I get hoist by my own petard that way often enough!

As to being caught out using demotic English; I am willing to settle out of court if Angels is willing to accept naira, the currency of my adopted homeland. One of my side jobs involves counting and bundling rather large quantities of the stuff, when I use a face mask. Otherwise I find that I come down with a lingering case of the sniffles from the quantities of crud that cling to the stuff. It is often tucked away for safe keeping in places that sunlight never reaches.

Let's see now: $50 in 50-kobo notes would be about sixteen thousand notes, tied up with grubby little pieces of string and stinking to high heaven... are you sure about this? If you really want to go through with it, you will have to send me your bank account details, of course, so that my colleagues in Lagos can forward the money by return of post. Of course, afterwards you may be yourself the subject of a post about stupidity, grammatical and properly spelled or not. I await your response!

Sorry about the thread drift there. Did any of you notice when Mr Wolk, a lawyer specialising in aviation-related liability suits, crashed his warbird? It sounded like a case of pilot error but things went very quiet afterwards. It certainly cheered me up a bit, whatever happened. The lawyers seem hell-bent on making the USA a safe place for the slow of wit.

19th Apr 2004, 10:50
The German naira? Update your profile sir!

But I take your point. There are 135.40 naira (NGN) to the dollar. A carrier bag would not hold too much.

And since I've had my wrist slapped by flyblue I feel I could not take your kind offering. Buy yourself a beer with it, but on no account give it to a U.S. lawyer!

19th Apr 2004, 11:45
Some lawyers are useful. Many decades ago I was partner in a (failing) small business. We found a buyer for all of $30k.

At the last minute in the negotiations, the buyer's lawyer noted that the contract didn't include an acceleration clause. [ie: all remaining money immediately due if N payments missed.] That sounded like a good idea to us, the sellers. Our lawyer was too stupid to notice the missing clause.

To make the story shorter, the buyer stopped paying. This time we went to a respected lawyer who charged $50 to write a letter invoking the acceleration clause. We got essentially all our money - and the buyer went bankrupt a few months later.

I can't believe that the buyer was too happy with their lawyer for suggesting the accelleration clause.

The story was that the bankruptcy was due to trying to pull a shady trick on "Mr. Hush", as I call certain US Govt agencies.


19th Apr 2004, 11:56
gruetzi chucks

sorry 'bout my little mistakes - i'll be sure to start my next thread in german so you can understand me better. As a fellow german speaking european you obviously have a better understanding of the english language as i do.


19th Apr 2004, 13:53
We've heard the rumours about you and your wallet whilst in the bar, but it's good of you to confirm it.:p

"It is often tucked away for safe keeping in places that sunlight never reaches."


19th Apr 2004, 13:58
Dear Mattpilot,

It's just that when I am flailing away, I try always to hold my gloves in my right hand... There's just something about stupidity that makes it so catching, somehow. You start out by trying to kick some boob in the *rse and end up on show yourself!

You would love to be a fly on the wall when I start shouting at the kiddies in my demotic German and thereby commit some grave offenses against The Language of Goethe. It tends to dilute the intended message when the targets of my righteous wrath start laughing at me.

And to whoever that was...
Grits is yummy! Allegedly, since I never has ate the damned stuff.

And McDonalds is to food as Hollywood is to history. You might choke on it, but people pay to eat it! So there! We bestride the globe like a colossus, but what was that noise? Braaap! Run for your lives! (It's good to be Number One!)

As to grammar, check out e.e. cummings little ode to McKinley, who '...never should of ate them Yapanese craps.'

Enough of this gay badinage! I have a borrowed Yamaha Fazer 1000 to ride! I'll be the torque of the town! Wah-hey!

Dear 419,

Yes, I still have my First Communion money. So?

I buy a round, now and then. You just have to be in the bar either early in the afternoon or else very late at night, when it's just me and Aloysius....

Drop by next time you are in the neighbourhood and try your luck. I might be in an expansive mood.



19th Apr 2004, 16:34
Ding dang Billy Bob we'sa all bettah puht anothuur Squurill ohn the fire - chuks is a commin for dinnah...

19th Apr 2004, 17:18
If you make it to Lagos do be sure and try 'grasscutter' or cane rat. It is sold using the direct approach: a rat the size of a large cat dangled from a stick with the roadside vendor shaking it gently to give one the illusion that it's so fresh it's still moving, perhaps?

Sometimes you see the same guy dangling the same rat that evening that you saw that morning. So much for 'fresh', unless perhaps these things come with a 'sell-by' date hidden somewhere I don't know about.

And if you get into a relationship with a local bar girl you may well find out about Lagos lawyers, first-hand. They can whip a law suit on you that will have you booking a ticket home soooo fast! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, unless it's a Lagos bar girl who wants to hold you to some vague, alcoholic terms of endearment.

So, come one, come all! Drinks on me, if you can track me down first!

19th Apr 2004, 18:25
well, he is isn't in Frankfurt/M, if that's any help. But he might be in the oder Frankfurt.