View Full Version : Worshipping from afar or Stalking

Windy Militant
30th Nov 2001, 19:25
Something that popped into my addled head the other day, how do you define the line between worshipping someone from afar so to speak and Stalking?
What is considered proper behaviour in both cases?
On the one hand you are trying to woo the light of your life, on the other hand you're trying to put the willies up someone (come to think of it that may be the ultimate motivation in the first case)
So what do you recommend a Mariachi band below the window?
Or a Sheep's head on the pillow?
enlighten me oh great and wise ones.

gravity victim
30th Nov 2001, 19:35
If you wake up and see a sheep's head on your pillow it sounds like you're fixed up anyway!

tony draper
30th Nov 2001, 20:18
20 points Mr V, :D

The Nr Fairy
1st Dec 2001, 02:25
Does telling a complete stranger she's got beautiful eyes count as stalking ?

Said stranger was a neighbour on the tube, had BEAUTIFUL big brown eyes. HAD to tell her.

Looked back after she'd been told, and had an expression like "I'm sure he's mad" when all "my friend" had wanted to do was genuinely compliment her.

Good Woman
1st Dec 2001, 02:55
If the interest isn't mutual, any overt gesture could embarrass/irritate/inconvenience/threaten the object of one's desires. Play it cool until you've won her and when you have, keep the romance alive with the occasional grand gesture.

tony draper
1st Dec 2001, 03:13
Break into her bedroom and leave a box of chocolates, and your card of course, it will make it so much easier for the constabulary to nab you. ;)

Bally Heck
2nd Dec 2001, 01:47
"She'd learned at an early age that to reveal to someone the open fire, to brandish the torch in their face was to terrify the object of ones love, so that they leapt back from the flame. Give all and you will receive nothing. Unmitigated love is met with unmitigated contempt. No one it seems can find a use for utter devotion and surrender. Except messiahs, demons and gods."

Graham Joyce "Requiem"

rather like that.

tony draper
2nd Dec 2001, 03:41
Hmm , The sudden onset of obsessive lust for one particular woman, sounds suspicious to Draper, lusting after them all is the norm.
Draper ventures to suggest,Mr M that a potion may been administered.
Do not delay, seek out the wise woman of Wiltshire with all haste,
she may be of unsurpassed ugliness, but is cunning in the ways of spells and potions, and can supply antidotes for all, at a price.
Oh yes, whatever you do, do not forget to take a turnip with you. :eek:

[ 01 December 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

2nd Dec 2001, 04:36
I know her, Nr Fairy. Met her in 1950, when she was 16. Did you try the ballad:

Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes,
Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes,
Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes,
I'll never love blue eyes again . ?

Lyric has a repetitive element, but it conveys the theme. Didn't work for me though. Full text available on e-mail request, but I warn you,it will break your heart.

tony draper
2nd Dec 2001, 04:53
Draper has always prefered dark eyed dark haired ladies, to blue eyed blond ones.
Hmmm wonder if its some kind of instinctive genetic thing, Draper was of errr, aryan appearance when young and still blessed with hair, perhaps its some kind of drive to mate with those farthest away from ones genotype if thats the right word.
At the moment Draper would mate with a goat, even a blond one. :(

[ 02 December 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

2nd Dec 2001, 05:29
I have spent a serious amount of time with two women, one was blue eyes and blonde and the other was Brown eyes and dark. At other times, I have been fortunate to dally with various others. Their colouring does not appear to have been a factor. My own colours are dark with brown hair and plenty of it (Sorry Mr D, couldn't resist ) Makes me wonder, did the Chief Pilot intended this Graemlin to mean follically challenged? :confused:

On an unconnected note, the only similarity between the two above mentioned women, was that they both liked Star Trek, which I do not. So, I might give female Trekkies a miss!

2nd Dec 2001, 05:30
Stalking?? None of this sounds like stalking to me; harrassment as defined over the last 20 years perhaps, but not stalking.

Gratuitous compliments are another matter entirely. Good Woman's advice to "play it cool until you've won her" removes the possibility of ending up in court but also of a quick and mutually enjoyable exchange. There are still a lot of women who enjoy wolf whistles from the building sites, thank the Lord.

Brown-eyed blondes reduce me to a quivering wreck. I got into a lift one day, the only other occupant was a delightful version of same; not a teenager by any means and all the more beautiful for it. The whole moment seemed so serendipitous that I found myself telling her what gorgeous eyes she had; not something I have done before or since, but it just seemed perfectly right at the time. My reward was a whispered "thank you" and a smile so sweetly beautiful my knees shook.

I'd like to complete the fairy tale by saying I ended up marrying her, but she got off at the next stop and I never saw her again. :(

I don't understand how admiration can be construed as harrassment, but then, I'm just an old dinosaur.

2nd Dec 2001, 11:47
Binos, mate ... at YOUR age, they just know you're not a threat! :D

The Nr Fairy
2nd Dec 2001, 13:04
Binos :

Can't have been a lift in Mackay - no tall buildings plus you'd have seen her again sooner or later :D

2nd Dec 2001, 13:45

Nicely picked up, but Mackay doesn't have walls around it either. We do get out every now and then! Re your second point, I have previously asked myself whether I would have done the same thing in Mackay and I never came up with a conclusive answer. I like to think it was completely impulsive and not tainted by sly calculations of the consequences. :)

As for you, Oz, I'll ignore that despicable remark. :D

Cynics... hmph!!

2nd Dec 2001, 14:02
The difference between stalking and admiration is not taking no for answer or get out of my sight you b*****d.
Complimenting a woman is usually welcomed if the the context is right.
I've worshipped from afar many times, as long as it stays that way it's OK.

Draper and others mentioned how they prefer dark eyed dark haired women as opposed to blonde blue eyed. I remember reading somewhere that as babies or toddlers we can 'fall in love' with someone and subconsciously look for that person for the rest of our lives. If she was dark haired and dark eyed, that would explain it. If you had a favourite aunt or family friend like that then that's the explanation.

tony draper
2nd Dec 2001, 14:54
There is a ploy that can sometimes bare fruit, especialy if one has not already revealed ones hand as it were.
This only works with ladies of exceptional beauty who are accostomed to being the centre of attention ie, being constantly sniffed around by every male in the vicinity.
It is also necessary to be in the ladies company a great deal, ie, it is better if the lady is a work colleague or some such.
Studiously ignore the lady, be polite, but demonstrate complete indifference to her charms.
Pay attention to all the other ladies, flirt and smile upon every female but your target, such ladies tend to be simple creatures, and can not understand what is going on.
They are accoustomed to the fawning attention,and your indifference will arouse they're curiosity ,you will become a challenge to them, they will seek you out, they will invent situation in order to be in your company,but! one cannot emphasise this enough, continue your polite but cold indifference, untill the poor creature is frantic and will do anything for a smile from you, for a sign that you know she is alive.
Timing is of the essence, one must use ones own judgement as to when to close the trap, when to pounce as it were.
PS,Great self disipline is required for the Draper gambit to work, and some acting skill,
PPS, don't worry that the lady will think you are fruit,It is Draper experience that ladies tend to be instinctivly aware if one is a mincer.
Is it is a noble thing for the older to hand on one experience to the young . ;)

[ 02 December 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

[ 02 December 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

2nd Dec 2001, 22:43
Hey TD,

Amazingly, I tried that very thing once. Guess I better get ya to expound upon your technique. All it got me was three weeks worth of paperwork trying to explain that I really wasn't a pervert and, since I wasn't a pervert, it must have been a form of sexual harrassment and I had to endure two days of "sensitivity training". I'd have sooner faced the XL (eX-Loser) with the iron skillet than go through that bull-schidt!

No, Nr, telling her she has beautiful eyes isn't stalking but, according to the "experts" it IS insensitive and a form of harassment. I found I'm far better off dumping thirty pounds of ice into the bath. A "half-hour soak" in that usually brings me back to reality.

I gotta admit though, as the object of a real life stalker - it ain't no picnic. (I suppose the stalker being uglier than a mudd fence has a lot to do with it - why couldn't it have been someone such as Michelle Pfieffer?!? Maybe then it WOULDN'T have been stalking?)

tony draper
2nd Dec 2001, 23:09
Jeez,Draper is glad he is no longer a young blade trying to put it about nowadays, how on earth could they call respectable indifference as harrasment!!the mind boggles,perhaps your acting skills were not up to the task Mr L , perhaps you weakened and looked upon the target with undisguised lust.
Drapers reverse psychological negative interest seduction ploy, has never been known to fail.
It has to be understood that this system does not work if one has already made a approch and been rebuffed, the lady being the simple creatures they are will just assume one was in the huff with them.
And not wanting to state the obvious, one has to be reasonably attractive oneself, this ploy will not work if one is a hunchback one one eye in the middle of ones forehead, or resembles John Merrick of course.
The only hope for those poor unfortunates in their unrequited love and seduction technique is
re-encarnation. ;)

[ 02 December 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

2nd Dec 2001, 23:52
Gosh Drape, maybe I'm one of those dudes who "just don't have it" - you know, like some of those people who "can't tell a joke".

I hadn't been previously turned down, shot-down or otherwise rebuffed and I'm positive they couldn't see under the paper bag (I cut real small eye-holes - so they couldn't see in that way either).

I suppose I'll just have to be satisfied with ice in the tub and a good ol' platonic relationship via e-mail or some chat-room.

henry crun
3rd Dec 2001, 02:37
I have found a flaw in your theory Steepclimb.

There is not, and never has been, anyone in my family or friends who even remotely resembles Anita Ekberg. :)

[ 02 December 2001: Message edited by: henry crun ]

3rd Dec 2001, 02:51
No Henry the theory still holds, it's all subconscious. you must have met someone just like her when you were a babe in arms.

So when did you start going out with Anita, say hello to her from me. We go back a long way.

If she's not the current Mrs Crun, what does the current Mrs Crun look like?
I rest my case.

tony draper
3rd Dec 2001, 03:19
What kind of strange nursing habits exist in New Zealand one wonders ,if your theory hold true,
Mr S. ;)

[ 02 December 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

3rd Dec 2001, 05:18
Mr Draper,
I've pulled the "Draper Gambit" a few times over the years, and it's worked like a charm most times! Any of you teen aged types should pay attention to this advice, it may not be your idea of how to win the attention of a lady, but if you don't give her the chance to want to get to know you how on earth do you plan to get past the schoolboy crush phase of things? ;)

henry crun
3rd Dec 2001, 05:53
Mr S, there is no current Mrs Crun and the previous Mrs Crun did not, to my
everlasting regret, resemble Anita.

If this vision did hold me in her arms when I was a baby it is inconsiderate of her not to be there later when I could have retained some memory of the event.

Life is so unfair, sob.

3rd Dec 2001, 09:37
Please explain something. There is always a sheep's head in my bed in the morning. Does this mean I am being stalked? and if so by whom?

Or is it just Baaa faced cheek?

Through difficulties to the cinema

Windy Militant
3rd Dec 2001, 16:44
Hmmm…..Interesting points from all. I must admit to not actually having anyone particular in mind with this question, but the answers so far seem to confirm my theory.
If you look like Quasimodo's kid brother* you’re a stalker (That is unless you have your pockets filed with loot!)
If you look like Russell Crowe* you’re an Admirer.
I guess that I'll have to take the redoubtable Mr Drapers advice. Now then where's the nearest Buddhist temple hereabouts Ommmmm Ommmmm Ommmmmmm…………….
* Or female equivalent