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RW-1
28th Nov 2001, 19:15
The Top 16 Airport Security Pick-Up Lines

16) "I'm afraid you're setting off a heightened alert in my pants, Ma'am."

15) "The new FAA rules require me to remove your security breeches."

14) "Honey, this is a Bodacious Ta-Ta-sniffing dog, and two barks means
you're guilty."

13) "Excuse me, Sir, is that a large organic cylinder I detect in your
pants?"

12) "Ever been stripped-searched by a minimum-wage flunky?"

11) "And if I might be so bold, Ma'am, I don't think you'll be needing your
seat cushion as a flotation device."

10) "I'm going to have to inspect your package for spores."

9) "Step over here, please. You've set off my babe detector and I'm afraid
I'm going to have to scan you with my wand."

8) "I'm afraid you can't pass this point, 'cause you da bomb, baby."

7) "Sir, can I turn on your laptop?"

6) "If you're finished checking my bag, there's one more pair of underwear to
go through."

5) "You know, if we were to make love now, we could have a child before we
get to the front of the line!"

4) "Good thing that's not a wood detector, 'cause you'd keep me here all
night."

3) "Has anyone unknown to you handled those funbags?"

2) "What say we dump Gramma here out of the golf cart and go cruisin'?"

and the Number 1 Airport Security Pick-Up Line...


1) "So do you have any condoms that *aren't* full of heroin?"