View Full Version : Philosophy of Little Billy

21st Mar 2002, 14:03
LITTLE BILLY ON ...GETTING OLDER. .. .Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.. .. .After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.". .. .Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.". .. ."Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?". .. ."No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own fu**ing business!!". .. .LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY. .. .A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?". .. .She calls on little BILLY.. .. .He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.". .. .The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.". .. .Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides. .of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?". .. .The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's. .gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.". .. .To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking.". .. .LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH:. .. .Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.. .. ."Why?" asks the father.". .. ."The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.. .. ."But that's right!" says his dad.. .. ."Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'". .. ."What's the fu**ing difference? " asks the father.. .. ."That's what I said!". .. .LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:. .. .Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a. .multi-syllable word?". .. .BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate.". .. .Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful.". .. .Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

The Nut Behind The Wheel
22nd Mar 2002, 16:21
Aussie Little Billy moves to the city, just in time for the school concert. Mary is playing the violin, Johnny is doing mime work, and the teacher asks Billy . ."What can we get you to do Billy?". ."I dunno miss", Billy replies. ."Well, since you're from the bush Billy, maybe you could do some barnyard noises for us". .. .Well, along comes the big night, and all is running smoothly. The teacher announces. ."Here is Billy, who is going to give us his rendition of barnyard noises". .. .A bashful looking Billy makes his entrance. He looks out at the audience, slowly raises the mike to his mouth and says. ."Get off that F...king tractor, shut that F..king gate, get your finger out of that F..king chooks bum....."

Kalium Chloride
22nd Mar 2002, 16:36
Bwaahahahahahahahaha <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

22nd Mar 2002, 18:24
This thread needs re-christening: Philosophy of Little Slasher". . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Islander Jock
22nd Mar 2002, 18:32
Little Billy's cousin Johnny was walking down the street carying a loaf of bread in one hand and playing pocket billiards with the other.. .. .The local reverend was walking the other way and as he approached he said "Hello Johnny, I see you have in your hand the staff of life - and what do you have in the other hand"? To which Johnny replied "bread"