most embarassing pee test ever

[MidnightSpecial]

I am wondering if I am the only pilot to ever have been subject to unprofessional pee test monitors? While I don't wish these experiences on anyone else I want to know if other pilots have had these sorts of events happen to them.

The first was for a certain airline based in Hawaii. I had passed the logbook/interview/intelligence testing and was now told to go to downtown Honolulu, to a certain doctor's office for the medical portion of my physical.

Having been poked and prodded and read eye charts, I was now to go to the bathroom and produce a cup of urine. It was just a small room so the door was not to be locked. As I was, ahem, filling the cup, the nurse opens the door wide to everybody in the office, points at me, starts laughing, then slams the door.

I guess this was to make sure that there was no cheating involved.

Oh yeah, I didn't get hired there.

At another airline the official pee monitor was of the opposite sex which made production rather difficult. Way too much Catholic school and being taught shame doesn't help me much with bodily functions. The official pee monitor of the opposite sex stood right outside the stall. This individual was just a lab technician and not a real nurse or doctor. This made the 747 simulator ride I just did look easy.

Oh yeah, I got hired.

MS:ok:

[My names Turkish]

Used to do a bit of bicycle racing back in the day before I became an unfit slob. When we raced abroad at the big international races on the penultimate lap there was a Dustboard and on it would be a list of numbers which were our race numbers. First three across the line and a selection of others would be chosen at random. Trying to pee after a 30 mile race up and down very steep terrain is one thing, but having to do it while being watched (to prevent switching of samples) is quite another, very very difficult thing....

[gingernut]

the Ancient Greek physicians used to dip there finger in the said specimen, and taste it for sweetness (diabetes ).

Clever bug:mad: ers those greeks.

[mazzy1026]

On the subject of actually being able to pi55 - I find it difficult in a club for example, where you have had say 4 pints and bladder is about to burst, yet when you are stood in the gents and it is quite full (of men), it's just impossible to pee ! I find myself trying to work out some algebra in my mind and then hey presto - an interesting topic I know :E

[gixerman]

Mazzy,

That's called 'Shy Bladder Syndrome', I have suffered from it for years. Now I don't even bother, I just go into the cubicles:ugh:

[dicksynormous]

Midnight,

Some people pay good money to have a women watch em pee, are they still hiring?:D

[MidnightSpecial]

Mr. Dicksynormous,

Yes, my company is still hiring but only from an internal pool. Outsiders won't get on for a while.

Good luck,

MS

[Memetic]

At the risk of adding a jetblast element, test out your "urinal etiquette":

http://www.flasharcade.com/game.cgi?urinal

[Paracab]

Will never forget the time I was in a Wimpy bar, went for a pee, was stood at the urinal and a fella came in with his daughter, aged about four, and parked her right next to me while he went !

I seized completlely, tried to make it look like I had been and scurried out.

The worst bit was when he went back to his table, relayed the story to his partner, and blatantly laughed at me until I left. And I was still busting !!!

:uhoh:

[rmcfarlane]

Hey all,

I've got my medical in the morning, and despite actually looking forward to it, i'm now slightly worried.

I occasionally suffer from 'Shy bladder' and have to resort to distraction techniques, and am slightly concerned about this part of the exam, thanks guys!

Weird really, cause i pee all the time infront of my girlfriend, and i have no shame.

[Kaptin M]

The check to determine whether a vasectomy has been succesful apparently involves providing the doctor with a fresh sample of semen - "fresh", meaning the patient has to produce it on premise!
Now if you suffer from "shy bladder sybdrome", I wonder how you'd cope with THIS one! :suspect:

[rmcfarlane]

Well, its over. And i passed.

The whole 'urine test' last minute panic was completely unfounded as the CAA at Gatwick have a special cubicle in the mens room with a little hatch to pop 'it' after.

BUT.......no one, not even my mates in uni who had done the test had warned me bout the 'drop and cough!' How unprepared was I, although that was probably a good thing.

Besides that, and a single random blip on the ECG all ok and a pass! I even celebrated my LOW cholesterol level with a McD's lunch!

Fit to Fly - so watch out world!

[mazzy1026]

Well done MC - must be a great feeling :ok: