View Full Version : VIRUS WARNING!!!!!! must read

20th Mar 2002, 15:12
Looks pretty fierce this one!!!. .. .VIRUS WARNING . .. .If you receive an email entitled 'Badtimes' delete it immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. . .. .It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. . .. .It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will program your phone autodial to call only your mother-in-law's number. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer. It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company. Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears. It will replace your shampoo with bleach, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card. . .. .It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea. It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences. . .. .If the 'Badtimes' message is opened in a Windows95 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skimmed milk with whole milk. It will replace all your Sainsburys (R) Honey Roast Ham with Spam. It will molecularly rearrange your after shave or perfume, causing it to smell like marmite. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

Feeton Terrafirma
20th Mar 2002, 18:00
This is an old but proven anti virus system which will despense with any mauve virus you find:. .. .http://homepages.msn.com/PrintersAlley/rainbull/Wellington/Full_Size/Cannon_on_Mt_Vic.jpg

No Mode Charlie
20th Mar 2002, 23:32
ROFL,. .. .Is there anything you can do if you did accidently open this message? My computer now looks and works like a commodore 64 and but people do say this bleached hair looks nice, although I can hear them laughing behind my back.

21st Mar 2002, 02:30
No, seriously, Charlie. It looks great.. .. .&lt;snig ger&gt;. . . . <small>[ 20 March 2002, 21:34: Message edited by: Tinstaafl ]</small>

21st Mar 2002, 19:40
I think I had that virus recently. Went to the pub, had a few, fell asleep and then everything was like you're discribing. Can't remember anything to do with computers though, which is odd...

23rd Mar 2002, 12:22
More worrying than these endless "DANGER... WARNING WILL ROBINSON" notes that keep doing the rounds are the exploits that are found, with monotonous regularity, especially where Microsoft's Internet Explorer is concerned. If you use IE, Outlook/Outlook Express or even some mail products such as Eudora - which actually use IE under the bonnet for HTML mail rendering - then, before it's too late, visit this page:. .. .http://edensoft.com/testexploit.html. .. .which is a harmless demonstration of one of the latest.. .. .It uses a potential security hole IE's fifth "Security Zone" settings. That's right... the hidden one. If you are not at ease with editing your Registry manually (it only requires changing a couple of DWORD values) then EdenSoft have provided a free program/utility/patch, call it what you will, that'll make these changes for you available for download at:. .. .http://edensoft.com/exploit.html. .. .Let's be carefull out there, OK? Learn what your Internet Explorer Security Zones are and use them.. .. .How to Use Security Zones in Internet Explorer (Q174360). .http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?scid=kb;EN-US;q174360. .. .Setting Up Security Zones. .http://www.microsoft.com/windows/ie/using/howto/security/setup.asp . .. .--. .Dear God, It's OK that you made different religions, but don't you get mixed up sometimes? - Arnold