PDA

View Full Version : Which Law?


Biggles Flies Undone
27th Nov 2001, 18:50
Which Law?

Well, there’s:

Sod’s Law – whatever can go wrong will go wrong.
And
Murphy’s Law – if a part can be fitted the wrong way, sooner or later it will be.

There must be more. How about:

PPRuNe’s Law – as soon as someone starts a thread about women’s fingernails, Slasher is on the case :D

airmail
27th Nov 2001, 19:46
Hows about the time differential law or

How long a minute is depends on which side of the toilet door you are on :eek:

tony draper
27th Nov 2001, 19:56
There's Bodes law, now thats got you lot beat. ;)
Sounds of a thousand mice clicking on Google.

DROGNA
27th Nov 2001, 21:04
How about Coles Law?

Cabbage, carrots, onion and mayo!

:D

brockenspectre
27th Nov 2001, 21:10
Draper - Bodes was a new one on me but thanks to friend Google "an arithmetical relationship between the approximate distances of the planets from the sun."

Boyles law - not the scientific one but the one which has Katie Boyle (a Brit "beauty/TV personality") rejuvenating in direct proportion to her increase in years!! :D

BlueDiamond
28th Nov 2001, 02:58
Then there's the 50-50-90 law ...

If there's a fifty/fifty chance that something could go wrong, there's a ninety percent probability that it will.

:D

sanjosebaz
28th Nov 2001, 03:19
The law of diminishing returns:
The probability of something happening is inversely proportional to the desire to make it happen.

henry crun
28th Nov 2001, 03:29
Parkinson's,

Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

Travelling Toolbox
28th Nov 2001, 07:44
A Bush LAME one for you:

The distance travelled from home base is inversely proportional to the Table of (Wear) Limits for the aircraft?

Not that I ever used this of course :cool: :D :D :D

captainowie
28th Nov 2001, 09:51
Hofstadler's(?) Law:

Things always take longer than you think. Even when you take Hofstadler's law into account.

Axerock
28th Nov 2001, 11:14
Terry Pratchetts DiscWorld Law.

A Million to one chance will succeed nine times out of ten.

sprocket
28th Nov 2001, 12:20
Barzun's Laws of Learning
1. The simple but difficult arts of paying attention, copying accurately, following an argument, detecting an ambiguity or a false inference, testing guesses by summoning up contrary instances, organizing one's time and one's thought for study -- all these arts -- cannot be taught in the air but only through the difficulties of a defined subject. They cannot be taught in one course or one year, but must be acquired gradually in dozens of connections.
2. The analogy to athletics must be pressed until all recognize that in the exercise of Intellect those who lack the muscles, coordination, and will power can claim no place at the training table, let alone on the playing field.

Forthoffer's Cynical Summary of Barzun's Laws
1. That which has not yet been taught directly can never be taught directly.
2. If at first you don't succeed, you will never succeed.

criticalmass
28th Nov 2001, 13:15
The corollary for Sod's Law:-

"A piece of bread and jam, when dropped, will always land sticky-side down"

which is expanded by logical deduction to:-

"The probability that a piece of bread and jam, when dropped, will land sticky-side down is inversely proportional to the ease of cleaning and directly poroportional to the replacement value of the surface on which it lands!"

sprocket
28th Nov 2001, 14:51
Travelling Toolbox: I reckon you might be familiar with this one?

de la Lastra's Law

After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.

de la Lastra's Corollary
After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold-down screws, it will be discovered that the gasket has been ommitted.

:D


edited to carry out some editing!

[ 28 November 2001: Message edited by: sprocket ]

[ 28 November 2001: Message edited by: sprocket ]

OzExpat
28th Nov 2001, 15:23
Words to live by ... if at first you don't succeed, read the instructions. :eek:

tony draper
28th Nov 2001, 15:38
Drapers law,
He who turns and runs away, lives to run away another day . ;)

Douglas Spragg
28th Nov 2001, 16:13
Nothing succeeds like a toothless budgerigar

sprocket
28th Nov 2001, 23:58
Durrell's Parameter:
The faster the plane, the narrower the seats

pil
29th Nov 2001, 00:29
learnt from a sage at BA engineering.

Law of Percussive Engineering

If it doesn't work, hit it with a hammer. If it still doesn't work, hit it with a much bigger hammer. IF it still doesn't work, it wasn't supposed to work in the first place.

Law of Reproductive Engineering

If you dismantle and rebuild a part you're always left with a bit left over. Do this enough times and you'll have enough bits to build a brand new part.

How I miss being a grease monkey. :(

pax anglia
29th Nov 2001, 00:47
How about the Politician's Law.....Nothing is so small that it cannot be blown out of all proportion.
Then there is my favourite,if home grown bit of wisdom,"Pax Anglia's first law of Aggro".This states that the aggro factor in any particular situation varies as to the square of the number of people involved in said situation.Eg:empty house,feet up,copy of The Times,mug of tea to hand,aggro factor=1(result happiness).Half a dozen less than welcome relations,aggro factor 36(result misery)Ring a bell,does it?

Travelling Toolbox
29th Nov 2001, 06:53
Sprocket De La Lastra's: Yeah I can relate to that! :)

How about the first law of Amphibious maintenance:

If you drop a spanner while the plane is on the beach, it will get stuck out of reach in the baffling requiring much disassembly to retrieve, however if you drop a spanner while moored, it will fall directly into the deepest water in that part of the channel. :D

[ 29 November 2001: Message edited by: Travelling Toolbox ]

rainbow
29th Nov 2001, 16:41
rainbow's law: (whispered oh so quietly in a household of women and girls, (apart from my 12 year old lad & me!))

"The Time Required For Females in Company to Prepare for Any Outing is Proportional to the Cube of Their Number."

(rainbow runs away...quickly)

TAF Oscar
1st Dec 2001, 16:50
Van Dijk's Observation: when everyone has priority, no-one has priority

Loki
1st Dec 2001, 16:54
Lokis law:

The odds of you cocking something up are directly proportional to the number of people watching.

Some others with which I have become familiar:

1...If all else fails, use bloody great nails.

2...If at first you don`t succeed, cheat.

[ 01 December 2001: Message edited by: Loki ]

AEROVISION
1st Dec 2001, 22:00
And remember,
Murphy's law is irreversible:
Washing your car to make it rain, does not work.

tony draper
1st Dec 2001, 22:43
Now this is the Law of the Jungle -- as old and as true as the sky;
And the Wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the Wolf that shall break it must die.
As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk the Law runneth forward and back --
For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.
;)