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The Nr Fairy
19th Mar 2002, 11:07
My mate in Oz is friendly with a girl he's known for a while, and they have an "arrangement".. .. .Today, he got a phone call at work. Said young lady says "Maybe the reason I've been such a cow to everyone recently is that I need to be fed half a bottle of wine and rogered silly. Are you busy tonight ?". .. .Anyone got anything more blunt ?

Chinook
19th Mar 2002, 11:24
Antipodean girls are direct, but so are the British ones ... perhaps only to Antipodean blokes!. .. .Once had a lady aske me if I would mind lying on my back while she 'had a root' .... .. .Rude not to oblige really <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />

redsnail
19th Mar 2002, 23:26
Uh oh. I'll hide now....... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="frown.gif" />

Slasher
20th Mar 2002, 01:52
Oz sheelas ARE direct alright! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> . .. .The place was a Cairns restarant with a babe on our first date. She looked way above my league and I was a bit nervous about rejection and wether Id get luckey. It mustve been obvious!. .. ."Im here at this restarant with you arent I? So dont get worried that I dont like you or anything because I do. Now if you dont say anything bloodey stupid tonight I promise a f**k WILL be in the question later on, alright?"

Eagle18th
20th Mar 2002, 04:01
Slasher - now that's pressure...the promise of playing hide-the-sausage, provided you don't say anything stupid. I'd be even more nervous and would inevitably say exactly the wrong thing. So come on Slash, spill the beans, did you manage it? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

ShyTorque
20th Mar 2002, 04:19
A beautiful Scottish lady, married, (not to me and her husband present in the same room 15 feet away), after a few drinks too many unexpectedly whispered in my ear far too loudly: "Do you want a fu*k or what?" in front of four of my pilot students.. .. .There were FIVE sets of eyes on me and FIVE dropped jaws, one of which was my own. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

Biggles Flies Undone
20th Mar 2002, 14:12
Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend Sheila about to throw herself off. Bruce slams on the brakes and yells "Sheila, what the f*ck d'ya thinks yas doing?". .. .Sheila turns around with a tear in her eye and says "G'day Bruce. Ya got me pregnant and so now I'm gonna kill myself".. . . .Bruce gets a lump in his throat when he hears this."Sheila" he says "Not only are you a great [email protected], but you're a real sport too!"

Unwell_Raptor
20th Mar 2002, 14:23
Isn't the legendary Oz foreplay:. .. ."You awake mate?"

angels
20th Mar 2002, 14:56
Many moons ago, a work colleague took me out to a restaurant to explain to me why she wouldn't have a relationship with me.. . At the end of an excellent meal, she leaned back and said. "Any man that dines with a girl here is going to get the f*ck of a lifetime afterwards....'. . I called a cab and we were together for 18 months thereafter (the apres dinner tumble was very good and she paid for the meal as well). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

Travelling Toolbox
20th Mar 2002, 14:59
Yeah it's very similar to the Brit version:. .. .BRACE YOURSELF!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> . .. .Damn!! Edited because I was beaten by thaaaat much. My reply was for Unwell_Raptor's effort. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />. . . . <small>[ 20 March 2002, 11:02: Message edited by: Travelling Toolbox ]</small>

sprocket
20th Mar 2002, 15:37
Reddo. uh, let me guess ... was it "You'll do"? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> . .. .The only out of the blue proposition to me was after I staggered out of a night club at 2am ... "Hey, you're cute, wanna sleep with me?". .[She must have given up on going ugly early and went ugly late.] <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> Sort of an ambush I think. Never laid eyes on her before nor since.. . . . <small>[ 20 March 2002, 11:39: Message edited by: sprocket ]</small>

Whirlybird
20th Mar 2002, 16:07
Way back in my student days a friend's 16 year old sister came to stay. A bunch of us went to a party, and she asked this chap I knew to dance with her. He was a bit surprised at this; it wasn't done where he came from; he was eighteen, from a small town, first time away from home and all that. But he was even more surprised when she asked casually, a couple of minutes later: "Will you sleep with me tonight?". He said he was so surprised he didn't know what to do, and apparently replied: "Well...yes...I suppose so".

Biggles Flies Undone
20th Mar 2002, 16:14
Whirly, don't suppose you've still got her phone number? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="rolleyes.gif" />

Feeton Terrafirma
20th Mar 2002, 16:40
Excuse me Mr Sick_Pigeon, but it's far more involved than you imply. I doubt that anyone who simply bellows "brace yourself" could possibly understand the complexities involved in the sophisticated Oztralian approach.. .. .The correct Oztralian approach is:. .. .&lt;using the left elbow or the right elbow&gt; nudge.... nudge..... you awake now?. .. .You will note that the correct elbow action is most important, and the subtle manner of the delivery of the question is an art form in itself.

Feeton Terrafirma
20th Mar 2002, 16:45
Ooops, I forgot to mention that after 23 yrs of marriage I still have yet to truely master the delivery of the question.... unfortunately <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="frown.gif" />

Alas para Volar
20th Mar 2002, 17:00
angels:. .. .at the risk of breaking the advertising rule - could you please tell us the name of the restaurant? I assume it is booked up months in advance.. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />

Whirlybird
20th Mar 2002, 18:33
Biggles,. .. .The lady in question is now happily married with several kids and has settled down to a blameless life in Australia. . .. .Or if it's not that blameless her sister either doesn't know or isn't telling. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

RW-1
20th Mar 2002, 21:05
I was with a girl named Kathy, I had taken her out a couple of times, but had not yet made a move, this included taking her flying in a (yipes a plank, now I'm a heli person <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="smile.gif" /> ). .. .We were at the mall in D.C. and nearby was a rather large looking morman family (guessed by their reaction). .. .She was spinning around a bit in the sun, enjoying the weather, and I had asked how she was feeling.. .. ."I'm just so happy I could F*ck you!" LOUDLY.. .. .(Morman family cringing). .. .She continues slightly lower "Yes, I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to F*ck you, it may not be tonight, or tomorrow, possibly after you get back from your next deployment (we were assigned to the same squadron, and after I returned was when she had me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> )...". .. .Oh my.. .. .Have had the "Are we going to F*ck or what?" asked to me as well.. .. .Hasn't anyone been the recipient of the "Want to slip into something more comfortable" question, and had the gal respond "how about me?" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />. . . . <small>[ 20 March 2002, 17:06: Message edited by: RW-1 ]</small>

Gunner B12
21st Mar 2002, 05:15
My one experience of this type of behaviour was while I was working in Barrow in Furness. This place has to be the longest cul-de-sack in the world. Anyway apparently there it is the tradition that the women pick the men up rather than the norm. The whole night was a bit of a whirlwind and yes I got lucky. Repeatedly in fact. The following morning I realised how keen I must have been the night before as my car wasn't where I left it outside the girls flat.. .. .I was about to go back in to phone the police when I happened to notice down the road was a car that looked just like mine. You have probably guessed by now, it was mine. I had left the handbrake off and it had been stopped by the front of another car. Fortunately there was no sign of damage to the other car so I just got in and drove away.

Slasher
21st Mar 2002, 07:12
Eagle 18th yeh I got luckey! It was amazing how I suddenley became a bloodey good LISTENER that evening!

TowerDog
21st Mar 2002, 08:01
Then there was this girl I chatted up in the Holiday Inn bar at Juhu Beach in Bombay:. .. .I thought I was slick and clever by drinking all night and telling tall stories.. .In the coffe shop at 0500 I was still talking loud and telling her how smart I was, etc.. .. .She started drumming her fingers on the table and finally said: Why don't ya stop talking and let's go to yer room and ++ck like animals.. .. .I was speech-less for a moment, then thought: Wow my kind of girl.. .The rest is history as well as a couple of more "dates" in India on night stops...... .. .The moral of the story..?. .Good old days. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

angels
22nd Mar 2002, 15:40
Alas -- sorry just seen your request for the name of restaurant. It was in Chancery Lane and featured opera singers seranading the punters.. . Sadly it closed some years ago after a fire. It may have re-opened since, but it would have been while I was abroad.. . Apologies.