View Full Version : unfortunate names

26th Nov 2001, 18:07
there are some poor people in the world with very unfortunate names,
such as the pilots i met:

captain kirk
john kennedy
miss fortune

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Twin 1
26th Nov 2001, 18:17
I thaught Dwane Pipe must be one of the most unfortunate, that and Richard Head ;)

26th Nov 2001, 18:30
These are also real people I've had the pleasure of knowing :-

Major Paine
Miss Isle


You want it when?
26th Nov 2001, 18:44
Well two that I have come across:

Wayne Kerr
Carey Hunt

Neither in themselves strange but poor old Wayne was always an easy target and we never really figured out of Careys mother liked her at all. :D

26th Nov 2001, 19:27
When I was living in N, I had a Dentist whose name was "F. A. Payne".

At times didn't know if A = all or awful.

26th Nov 2001, 20:54
Am I the only person who has had to stifle a snigger every time there have been those Pentagon briefings shown on the news, given by Rear Admiral Stufflebeem? :eek: :D

[ 26 November 2001: Message edited by: HugMonster ]

26th Nov 2001, 20:58
my school friends had no end of fun with
Nicholas Hoare....nickerless whore etc...oh how we laughed.
I worked with Richard Head although he liked to be called Dick.

26th Nov 2001, 21:25
How about the pub landlady, Lucy Likes (I'm not sure if this is true, but anyway)....

Her address reads like this:

Ms Lucy Likes
The Cockwell Inn

tony draper
26th Nov 2001, 21:41
I believe there is a address.

Herts. ;)

26th Nov 2001, 22:47
Student at uni called "Claudia Dick". That was her married name. (Fair dinkum too)

Brit Abroad
26th Nov 2001, 22:55
Girl at Uni called Lucy Tupper.

I nearly did as well.....

26th Nov 2001, 23:38
Our school librarian was called Hedley Dick... he acted like one too :D

tony draper
26th Nov 2001, 23:39
Knew a Claud Bott, one time. ;)
Then there was in my class.
Adam Bomm, and Andy Gravidy. ;)

[ 26 November 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

Send Clowns
26th Nov 2001, 23:51
Knew a chap at university called Euan Curr :D
Had maths lectures from a Dr De'Ath
My dad was on 35 Sqn with the (now, sadly, deceased) Sqn Ldr Lieder.

Lucky escapes :

Radio 4 interviewed a registrar who had been forced to point out to Mr and Mrs Cart why it might be best not to call their son Orson :eek:
My parents considered calling my sister Emma. This was 30 years ago, so the fact that our surname is Dale would have meant little then ...

27th Nov 2001, 02:09
LeftHandDown - I also used to know a Richard Head who liked to be known as Dick, it was a useful bet to make with nightclub doormen(if they had a sense of humour!!), last I heard, a few years ago, he was still in the LI and holding a post above his rank (Captain) and therefore went by the title of 'Acting Major Dick Head', this, however, sounded too good to be true.

Also once met a girl who liked to be known as Terri Green, although her given name was Theresa

27th Nov 2001, 03:45
Went to school with a Mary Christmas, and heard this weekend of a chap called Hugh Jordan (Hugh Jorgan to those who know him well)!

Is there a Captain Speaking out there? And who is Camp David they keep talking about on CNN?


tony draper
27th Nov 2001, 04:37
There was a four man installation team I knew, called Black, Brown, Orange, White.
We also had Tommy Rice and a Billy Curry, true that is. ;)

Capt Vegemite
27th Nov 2001, 04:42
Worked with two scotty boys Ben Doon and Phil McCracken but dont expect youll believe me!
Seriously,there is a Stuart Highway here in Darwin :eek:

gravity victim
27th Nov 2001, 04:47
There is a Richard Head, RN Commodore, lurking down at Pompey...and my sister went to Uni with an Ophelia Balls (she married very young).

27th Nov 2001, 06:39
In my last year at school, (1984ish!), we had a headmaster called Mr. Bates.

27th Nov 2001, 11:50
Many years ago at school my girlfriend was waiting in the classroom for her teacher to turn up. Was asked by the passing headmaster "What are you doing here?" Her answer "Waiting for Mr Wright".

She said it was very interesting watching his struggle to keep the smirk of his face and avoid any response.

27th Nov 2001, 14:07
Two of my farorite names (both genuine)

annette curtan
verity organ

there are some evil parents about!

27th Nov 2001, 14:16
I went to school with a Ronald MacDonald. Had red hair too, poor kid. Anyway, true story: one day he was caught shop lifting and since he wasn't carrying any identification on his person at the time, you can just imagine how long the interrogation went on when they asked him for his name!

27th Nov 2001, 14:21
Mr. Justice Judge

Arianna Stassinopoulos-Huffington (crazy name, crazy girl)

27th Nov 2001, 14:31
I used to know a guy whose rather unthinking parents had saddled him with the initials C.R.A.P...

27th Nov 2001, 14:47
I remember reading a story in the paper about an American guy called John Balls who decided to name his daughter Ophelia! He said it was because he loved Shakespeare but it's just downright cruel as far as I can see.

henry crun
27th Nov 2001, 14:49
Once knew two guys named Jack Spratt and Jack Frost.

I would have loved to have witnessed them being stopped and questioned by the cops.

27th Nov 2001, 15:42
i once met a guy with the nickname of jism because of his unfortunate initials :eek:

27th Nov 2001, 16:43
There used to be a funeral directors in Croydon called William Shakespear. I always wondered if the guy that founded it felt that being an undertaker would allow him to have the last laugh against the pi**-takers.
And a friend swears blind he went to school with someone called Orson Carte....

Ali Barber
27th Nov 2001, 17:56
Once knew a girl called Mary Washington who married John Smith. She refused to go on honeymoon as John and Mary Smith so they became the Washington-Smiths. Shortly afterwards we were given plastic name badges to wear on the uniform. We had his made as Ashington-Smit and told him he had too many letters for the standard issue name tag. he wore it for about a month before he twigged!http://www.freakygamers.com/smilies/s/contrib/dvv/bash.gif

Lu Zuckerman
27th Nov 2001, 21:36
When I was in junior high school I delivered legal papers for the Cleveland Bar Association. One of the clients on my route was a lawyer whose name was Liberty B. Ware.

While working at Douglas Aircraft I interfaced with a technician whose name was Harry Dick.

Also in junior high there was a young Greek girl by the name of Elaine Eos. The teachers all called her Miss Elaine Eos.

As far as my name is concerned it had a lot of permutations. Some beginning with Mother or by exchanging the Z for an F.

There are two service engineers working for Airbus Industrie.

One is named Achim Krapp and the other is named Hans Heiko F**K
[ 27 November 2001: Message edited by: Lu Zuckerman ]

[ 27 November 2001: Message edited by: Lu Zuckerman ]

27th Nov 2001, 23:43
howdy guys

you bring up some memories, my alliby name way always Phillip Mcrevis, which sounds very much similar to the name Capt vegemite knows of, and also wolfpilot, I also had a English teacher called Mr Bates in '95' didn't do me any good though, corse dat skool neva tort mi nufin

Send Clowns
28th Nov 2001, 01:15
If anyone listens to Radio 4 at the end of Gardeners' Question Time, when the announcer says "... and the Assistant Producer was Jo King" I always want to ask why she doesn't take her job seriously.

When I was in the Navy there was a rating in the regulating branch called Bates who was posted to be Master of Arms on one of the frigates...

I always thought Roger Moore was quite a good name considering the character of his most widely-known role :D

28th Nov 2001, 01:26
Used to fly with a Captain Scarlett.
:D :D :D

Bally Heck
28th Nov 2001, 02:56
There was a TV documentary on a few years ago about a Royal Navy polaris submarine the captain of which rejoiced in the name Mike Hunt.

"Has anybody seen Mike Hunt."

Also new a grl once called Eileen Forward.

Rallye Driver
28th Nov 2001, 18:25
There is, of course, that famous name in the letter sent by Sir Archibald Kerr, the British Ambassador in Moscow on 6 April 1943 to Lord Pembroke at the Foreign Office:

"My Dear Reggie,

In these dark days man tends to look for little shafts of light that spill from Heaven. My days are probably darker than yours, and I need, my God I do, all the light I can get. But I am a decent fellow, and I do not want to be mean and selfish about what little brightness is shed upon me from time to time. So I propose to share with you a tiny flash that has illuminated my sombre life and tell you that God has given me a new Turkish colleague whose card tells me that he is called Mustafa K*nt.

We all feel like that, Reggie now and then, especially when spring is upon us, but few of us would care to put it on our cards. It takes a Turk to do that." :D


28th Nov 2001, 18:36
I think this guys parents reaallllly didn't like him...


28th Nov 2001, 18:42
There is a small town outside Houston Tx which has a mayor called Hogg. HE called his daughter Ima :D :D

Yes, it is true (or so my mate who lived there said).

28th Nov 2001, 20:09
Nice one pil.
In the U.S. Randy is a uni-sex name with no vulgar hidden meaning at all.
Hence, Randy Pilgrim -- a friend of a U.S. colleague of mine.

gravity victim
28th Nov 2001, 20:55
There were some oddly-named boys at my school, but it took a perverse genius to string the following together, when a master read out the names of people required to report for disciplinary reasons;

"I want to see the following boys immediately after supper: Fawcett,Forward, Dearlove and Dumee".
A pause, followed by uproar in the dining hall. :D

Rallye Driver
29th Nov 2001, 17:33
I can remember some unfortunate names from my distant school days when they called out the register. We had:

A Lash
Green P
R Sole

Also, did you know that the multinational Siemens has offices in Staines! :D :D


tony draper
29th Nov 2001, 19:48
Then there was the gay Irish couple called,
John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn. ;)

The old ones are the best.

Arm out the window
30th Nov 2001, 10:42
My wife went to school with a Lacey Cox, kind of a strange mental picture there.

However, I must seriously question what the scriptwriters of a recent Aussie movie (can't remember the name of it) I heard reviewed on radio were thinking when they named the lead character 'F*ckhead'.
The reviewer was all enthusiastic too, saying rubbish like "Yes, (Actor's name) brings a certain delicate poignancy to the role of F*ckhead..." etc. etc.- talk about laugh!

30th Nov 2001, 12:42
The company I work for used to have a customer called Crystal Vase. The poor girl and her mother were French and her dad was English (with a warped sense of humour). :)

30th Nov 2001, 12:48
You want it when:

regarding your mentioning of Wayne Kerr. There was a pub singer who used to perform under that name in South London, I had seen him advertised a few times but never got to see him. Maybe others were determined to stay away in case his act matched his name

Charlie Foxtrot India
30th Nov 2001, 19:03
At college we had both James Bond and Elizabeth Taylor.

2nd Dec 2001, 13:37
ok i may have a dirty mind and misheard
but i thought i heard a guy named dick buttkiss mentioned on tv :eek:

2nd Dec 2001, 14:35
There was an old guy near us called Aaron Mycock, poor bloke.

I also used to work with a Michael Hunt. One day the bosses secretary (a very refined and glamourous granny that we all fancied) put her head round the door and asked:

"Anyone seen Mike Hunt?"

I was able to keep a straight face while I answered that I certainly hadn't but would let her know if I did. She suddenly went bright red and quickly closed the door. I always thought she smiled at me a little more after that!