View Full Version : English

19th Mar 2002, 03:42
Foregone Conclusion:. .. .A. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart. .attacks than the British or Americans.. .. .B. On the other hand, the French eat quite a lot of fat and also. .suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.. .. .C. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.. .. .D. The Italians drink copious amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.. .. .E. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.

19th Mar 2002, 09:58
Americans speak English? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

19th Mar 2002, 10:47
So where duz ut leeve us strine speekas, eh?

19th Mar 2002, 17:25
Americans speak Ænglish, not English. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

19th Mar 2002, 17:30
No! no! no! no!...Americans don't speak english, they imitate english!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

Jet Dragon
21st Mar 2002, 04:44
Warrabout Scousers then???. .. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

Moritz Suter
21st Mar 2002, 08:13
Mr. ORAC,. .. .Your conclusion is, I think, flawed.. .. .Eat Japanese, drink French wine, love in the Italian manner, by all means, but on no account BE English. Dante Alighieri would surely have another level to his inferno.. .. ."Guai a voi, anime prave!. .Non isperate mai veder lo cielo:. .i' vegno per menarvi a l'altra riva. .ne le tenebre etterne, in caldo e 'n gelo.. .E tu che se' cost', anima viva,. .pàrtiti da cotesti che son morti."

21st Mar 2002, 15:40
What does it matter who you are, where/how you live and what you eat anyway? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="confused.gif" /> . .. .Just imagine some idiot who obeys all the 'health warnings' then gets knocked over by a bus.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> . .. ....none of us are immortal.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="frown.gif" />

21st Mar 2002, 16:00
orac is a froggie and should be banned.keep the legs though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />

21st Mar 2002, 19:11
Oi! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> What's wrong with Froggies?. .. .On second thoughts, don't answer that - despite being one I have a list as long as your arm what's wrong with Froggies... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="frown.gif" />

Moritz Suter
22nd Mar 2002, 04:51
Huggy, . .. .Set me free by your forgiveness............... .. .I await your answer, at any place of your chosing.. .. .MS.

Tricky Woo
22nd Mar 2002, 12:57
Slap MS's face with a white glove, Huggy. Quickly now.. .. .TW

Big Tudor
22nd Mar 2002, 17:42
Absolutely Swashplate. My ole granpappy gave up fags in his '70's after smoking for nearly 60 years. He was dead 12 months later. . .Scotland has one of the highest rates of heart disease in the world but I'd rather live there than Tokyo.

22nd Mar 2002, 18:22
TW, unfortunately I don't possess a pair of white gloves. I do, however, possess two pairs of green flying gloves (a gift from Her Majesty). Will they do?

22nd Mar 2002, 18:59
ORAC's logic may be faulty but you can't argue with numbers. There is essentially zero correlation between wine consumption and lifespan. Those who like the stuff may continue to drink it in moderation. Those who think of beverages as a caffeine delivery system need not feel they are missing out on a life-extending elixer.. .. .On the other hand there does appear to be a modest but far from negligible negative correlation between lifespan and the speaking of English. Sadly, it is too late for most of us. I make no recommendations on the basis of this study but learning Japanese or Greek might be prudent.. .---------------------------. .&gt; CountryLongevityWineConsumption := [ [Japan, 79.5, 1.69] , [Sweden, 78.3, 11.91], [Switzerland, 78.2, 49.40], [Australia, 77.8, 18.95] , [Canada, 77.7, 7.39], [France, 77.7, 60.13], [Netherlands, 77.5, 13.6], [Greece, 77.4, 30.05], [Norway, 77.2, 9.63], [Italy, 77.2, 58.05], [Spain, 77.0, 36.87], [United_Kingdom, 76.4, 13.99], [Austria, 76.4, 31.87], [Luxemburg, 76.1, 63.30], [New_Zealand, 75.8, 11.39], [Finland, 75.8, 5.09], [Belgium, 75.7, 24.34], [Germany, 75.7, 22.84], [United_States, 75.5, 7.38], [Denmark, 75.4, 29.14], [Ireland, 75.0, 5.32], [Portugal, 74.2, 53.02] ]:. .&gt; N := nops(CountryLongevityWineConsumption):. .&gt; WineConsumption := []: Longevity := []:. .&gt; for i from 1 to N do. .&gt; WineConsumption := [op(WineConsumption),CountryLongevityWineConsumption[i][3]]:. .&gt; Longevity := [op(Longevity),CountryLongevityWineConsumption[i][2]]:. .&gt; end do:. .&gt; with(stats):. .&gt; describe[linearcorrelation](WineConsumption,Longevity);. .. . -0.07861185961. .. .&gt; CountryLongevityLanguage := [ [Japan, 79.5, 1] , [Sweden, 78.3, 3], [Switzerland, 78.2, 5], [Australia, 77.8, 9] , [Canada, 77.7, 10], [France, 77.7, 5], [Netherlands, 77.5, 7], [Greece, 77.4, 2], [Norway, 77.2, 4], [Italy, 77.2, 3], [Spain, 77.0, 3], [United_Kingdom, 76.4, 9.5], [Austria, 76.4, 5], [Luxemburg, 76.1, 5], [New_Zealand, 75.8, 9.5], [Finland, 75.8, 2], [Belgium, 75.7, 5], [Germany, 75.7, 5], [United_States, 75.5, 9.5], [Denmark, 75.4, 6], [Ireland, 75.0, 9.5], [Portugal, 74.2, 3] ]:. .&gt; N := nops(CountryLongevityLanguage):. .&gt; Language := []: Longevity := []:. .&gt; for i from 1 to N do. .&gt; Longevity := [op(Longevity),CountryLongevityLanguage[i][2]]:. .&gt; Language := [op(Language),CountryLongevityLanguage[i][3]]:. .&gt; end do:. .&gt; describe[linearcorrelation](Longevity,Language);. .. . -0.2572001768. .. .&gt; |\^/| Maple 7 (IBM INTEL LINUX22). .&gt; ._|\| |/|_. Copyright (c) 2002 by Waterloo Maple Inc.. .&gt; \ MAPLE / All rights reserved. Maple is a registered trademark of. .&gt; &lt;____ ____&gt; Waterloo Maple Inc.. .&gt; | Type ? for help.

23rd Mar 2002, 21:42
Eating and drinking sensibly is like going to the gym....it doesn't make you live longer, it just feels as though you do!

24th Mar 2002, 04:33
Heaven is where the chefs are French, the mechanics are German, the police are British, the lovers are Italian and it is all organised by the Swiss.. .. .Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the police are German, the lovers are Swiss and it is all organised by the Italians.

24th Mar 2002, 05:45
Hey!! Wassamatta for you?. .The French would be exactly nowhere if the Italians hadn't taught them to cook! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />

Mount'in Man
24th Mar 2002, 09:02
The French speak American – they just don’t know it. That is why in France Americans speak so loudly. Deep down in every French brain is a thorough understanding of the American language -–YOU JUST GOTTA YELL LOUD ENOUGH to penetrate the superstructure of the French so that the words reach the ‘American understanding’ section of the French brain.. .. .Don’t believe me. Next time in Paris listen out to the American dialect, over and above the babble of Parisian verbiage and you will understand what I mean.. .. .(Apologies to Bob Newhart for plagiarism.)

Moritz Suter
24th Mar 2002, 09:31
Nuthin' wrong with a bit of green, Huggy!. .. .Slap me, bitch, slap me!

Tartan Gannet
24th Mar 2002, 16:39
Huggy, is dont alas have full plate armour nor a heavy horse, destrier (SP?), percheron, to ride into the lists on your behalf. However as a Knight Templar I do possess a 33 inch sword. Do you wish to make me your champion to pick up the gauge, (green or otherwise) and rid both JB and the World at last of the varlet who has the cognomen of Suter?

24th Mar 2002, 16:46
Very kind offer, TG, however, I shall rather enjoy this duel.. .. .Since I have shot smallbore and fullbore rifle for my school, and pistol (rimfire and centrefire) at county level, as well as having had the honour of represented my country at fencing, and still possess my weapons and kit, I think I shall rather relish this one! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

24th Mar 2002, 20:08
I went to France once and couldn't understand them, it's like they've got a different word for everything.

24th Mar 2002, 20:17
Not quite, Mycroft:-. .. ."They steal from us the words that they lack -. .Le camping, le weekend and cul-de-sac -. .That's why I hate the French". .. .Thank you, Rowan Atkinson!. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

Lima Tambo
24th Mar 2002, 21:08
fencing is for poofs

24th Mar 2002, 22:34
In french, oeuf means egg, cheese is fromage.... .it's like those French have a different word for everything!. .. .Steve Martin - ""A Wild and Crazy Guy" album.

24th Mar 2002, 22:36
Try saying that when you've been disembowelled, LT. I'd be very willing to give you a demonstration. I also suggest you start thinking for yourself rather than climbing up there.. . . . <small>[ 24 March 2002, 18:45: Message edited by: HugMonster ]</small>

24th Mar 2002, 23:36
Ohhh my, a duel - so now if I remember the rules it's the one who accepted the challenge who gets to choose the weapons - right? That means you Huggy.. .. .You should make TG your second Huggy, an eminently stalwart fellow. . .. .(we had a duel here once before I remember - white scarves at dawn no less).. .. .Strange how many people want to come here isn't it, if we are such a bad lot.. . . . <small>[ 24 March 2002, 19:38: Message edited by: Velvet ]</small>

25th Mar 2002, 01:06
Duel: (noun) a prearranged fight with deadly weapons by two people of honour (accompanied by seconds) in order to settle a quarrel.. .. .Huggie & TG lack an opponent who meets the criterium.

25th Mar 2002, 03:04
Flaps, babe, I love you dearly. Why did I not find you first? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="smile.gif" /> . .. .I choose sabres. And I am quite happy to take on both the slime and LT at the same time.. .. .TG, my dear chap, I would be honoured if you would act as my second.

25th Mar 2002, 06:19
Hang on Huggy!! Aren't we supposed to have a 3 person "Honor Tribunal" before a duel? . .. .Needs to be done properly otherwise you get clapped away afterwards!!. .. .http://www.historycooperative.org/journals/lhr/19.2/parker.html. .. ."the decriminalization proposal supported by Juan Andrés Ram'rez in 1919 appeared certain to go down to defeat until its supporters revised the bill by incorporating honor tribunals. In the amended version, the anti-dueling articles of the penal code remained on the books, with the stipulation that those provisions would cease to be applicable only in cases where an honor tribunal of three respectable citizens, one chosen by each side and the third chosen by the other two, had ruled that sufficient cause for a duel existed".

25th Mar 2002, 12:01
how much for a front seat? put me down for two. who can have MS's corpse? I got an idea....... .. .falps,we can not go on meeting like this.it is madness. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />

tony draper
25th Mar 2002, 12:27
Never mind the sissy swords, they are . .a workerday tool for inserting into Johnny foreigner.. .Draper favour the fifteen foot sawdust circle, the left wrist of one contestent tied to the left wrist of the other by a ten foot rope, and a Bowie Knife apiece, much more interesting to watch. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Lima Tambo
25th Mar 2002, 13:23
did fencing at school - it's for poofs.. .surely Moritz gets choice of weapons not Huggy (is that short for Huguenot?).. .. .Draper: - those mexicans sure know how to entertain a crowd don't they?

tony draper
25th Mar 2002, 13:38
True LT, them Epees an Foils and other tin twigs is for Frenchies when they forgo their hair pulling scratching and squealing which is their usual method of settlin disputes.. .Give me a good honest Hanger ,Cutlass or even a Claymore, though they tend to be a bit OTT even for Scotsmen.. .Yer can get one horses and four Englishmen on one of them Claymores, and still have enough blade left for a small drummer boy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />. . . . <small>[ 25 March 2002, 09:39: Message edited by: tony draper ]</small>

25th Mar 2002, 13:51
Draper, as already said, I've chosen sabres.. .. .LT, you didn't really learn much in school, did you? Fencing is a sport for speed of reaction, speed of movement, precision, endurance, fitness, hand-to-eye co-ordination, and endurance.. .. .It is an ancient sport, with much tradition and honour (which is probably why you don't understand it). Fencers treat their opponents with respect, and it is the only sport I have ever met where there is absolutely no dissention permitted. The umpires' and president's decisions ar final. To question a decision is to be sent off the piste. There is a lot of international camaraderie as well.. .. .What sport do you prefer? Darts?. .. .I have also indulged in football, cricket, tennis, rugby (to a reasonable standard), cross-country running, athletics (sprint events, long jump and triple jump) and squash.. .. .You will have difficulty in repeating your ridiculous assertion with your intestines hanging out. Want to try it?

Tricky Woo
25th Mar 2002, 14:04
Just noticed that MS has slunk away quietly while Huggy and LT square up for a brawl.. .. .Just when the glove slapping was getting interesting, too. Shame that, Huggy, as I reckon that MS likes to be roughly used.. .. .TW

25th Mar 2002, 16:08
Lovely story from "Punch" of around about 1915. Two soldiers about to embark for France - one a hardened Scottish old sweat, the other a nervous new boy.. .. .NB - How can I get food if I don't speak French? What if I go into a cafe and I want an egg?. .. .OS - It's no a problem laddie, just go up to madame and say "oof" and she'll bring you an egg.. .. .NB - But what if I want two eggs?. .. .OS - Dinnae worry, just say "twa oof" and she'll bring you three. Then ye just gi' her one back. Och, mon it's an easy language.

25th Mar 2002, 17:39
Huggy, just how do you intend to do battle with a hammer, nails and some 6 foot posts? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> . .. .If TG the KT is in Edinburgh, perhaps he could go to Roslin and bring some really formidable weaponry with him !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> . .. .As for those frenchie types, you only have to look at the latest Saint Augur ad to see how much of a fight they put up <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> . .. .S + F. .Kilted. .. .Edited for crap typing!. . . . <small>[ 25 March 2002, 13:40: Message edited by: Kilted ]</small>

25th Mar 2002, 17:46
Oh ****** 'duelling' and 'fencing' and all that poncy stuff...... .. .Just 'it 'im... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

25th Mar 2002, 19:14
Trouble with that, swash, satisfying thought it undoubtedly would be, is I might damage my knuckles. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="frown.gif" /> . .. .The satisfying thing about a duel is that I would be completely unharmed (if slightly sweaty) whilst both the slime and the slime's rectal cleanser would be writing on the ground trying to insert their intestines in the correct order.... .. .Oh, and by the way LT, if you look at the left of each post, you'll see the name of the relevant poster. So, If you look at mine, you'll be able to find out what "Huggy" is short for. Huguenots were French Protestants. My family are Royalist and Catholic (de Roussy de Sales if you want to know).. . . . <small>[ 25 March 2002, 15:34: Message edited by: HugMonster ]</small>

Lima Tambo
25th Mar 2002, 22:08
French Royalist eh? that must be where you get the penchant for dressing up in tight gear and prancing round like a poof! (not to mention all those other 'manly' sports <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> I expect most fun is in the changing rooms <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

Tartan Gannet
26th Mar 2002, 00:02
Yes Kilted, I DO intend to visit Rosslyn next time I am in Edinburgh. Last few visits to Scotland have been to Glasgow to assist my bereaved father who is not at all Masonic. Should I be within my cable tow next time in fair Dunedin, I will make that visit. I would also like to visit Cannongate-Kilwinning No 2, Robert Burn's Lodge. To our next Merry (Cyber) Meeting and Ill raise my glass to you at 9.00pm.. .. .BTW my ex wife was of Huguenot stock, on her mother's side. They arrived in Sussex after the revocation of the Treaty of Nantes. Her father's family also lived in the area, Lewes, well known for its bonfires on which a certain cleric is burned in effigy on 5th November every year. Unlike Huggy I am on the opposite side of the religious devide but Im glad to say, past differences settled, I like to consider him as a friend.. .. .I must say that anyone who considers fencing a "poofy" sport is talking out of his ****! I have never tried it myself, Im too fat and ungainly, but know a few blokes who have and it's highly skilled, very demanding both physically and mentally, and not for the faint hearted. As Huggy says, it has a code of conduct which it would do other sports a lot of good to emulate.. . . . <small>[ 25 March 2002, 20:11: Message edited by: tartan gannet ]</small>

26th Mar 2002, 01:00
Enough of the chat now chasps, the brawls... sory the duels, about to take place. . . Our champ booted and spurred, cape tossed carelessly over one shoulder stands yonder patiently. A faint enigmatic smile hovers under the pencil thin tash. An errant breeze ruffles the long curling locks that fall around his shoulders, his thin silk shirt undone at the front reveals the crisp dark hair covering his manly chest. He thoughtfuly swishes his glittering blade in a wicked arc of steel as he flexes his whipcord wrist muscles. . . His second in a long dark cape, and widebrimmed hat with a white Ostrich plume at the side, is looking anxiously around for the oponent and his second, these are conspicuous by their absence.. . A small knot of quitly conversing Ppruners(strange quasi religious sect methinks ) are gathered beneath the trees. . . There appear to be at least two exceedingly fair maidens in silk dresses and lace shawls, among them, darting anxious but begiled looks at the calm young blade who seems not the least put out by the impending deadly clash.. . The early dawns light in the East lights the ramparts of towering cumulus with a soft touch of pink and gold, and over by the dark shadows beneath the trees a carriage waits, a number of horses in harness cropping contentedly at the green sward as the assembly waits.. . Will the dastard come? The question lies there in everyones mind and the tableax lies poised for bloody action.. . . . <small>[ 25 March 2002, 21:04: Message edited by: Paterbrat ]</small>

Lima Tambo
26th Mar 2002, 01:11
not only a French fop but a Mason to boot <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Moritz Suter
26th Mar 2002, 01:54
Huggy,. .. .You poor old love. Our past history is ample demonstation you're not up to the task. Mr Gannet, however, is another matter. I find him erudite, informed and polite; attributes you lack in abundance. Miss Forty is correct, in this at least, that the challenger has the right of weapon.. .. .I need no second, blast yer! I stand or fall as I am...where I am. Perhaps Davaar might honour me with an eulogy; unlikely, though, that one might be needed.. .. .Oh, and Mr. Gannet, if you do decide to cast the gauntlet to the ground, I'll thank you to make it a slap so savage as to draw my breath with the sting of it, and should you obtain the opportunity to feed me those 33 inches, you will, I pray, feed them to me slowly....ever so slowly.. .. .I await you at the edge of the pier, wearing both lose fitting designer clothing and a look of almost perfect nonchalance.

The Nr Fairy
26th Mar 2002, 01:59
Looks like Moritz has watched "Princess Bride" once too often.. .. .Then again, with Robin Wright in it, I could watch it again and again and again . . .

Moritz Suter
26th Mar 2002, 02:34
Ain't no cliffs of insanity around here, Mr(s?) Fairy....except, perhaps, when standing high atop Huggy's hemorrhoids.

26th Mar 2002, 02:35
The original Knights Templar must be turning in their graves, sadly looking down on some of their more recent recruits......

Tartan Gannet
26th Mar 2002, 02:45
Indeed I am, LT, a "Brother of the Mystic Tie", am member of many Masonic Orders and Degrees but be assured that I am no French Fop. The French Connection was on my former WIFE'S side and she certainly was no fop, but a redoubtable harridan, to say the very least, as the Prayer Book puts it, "not lightly of men to be enterprised" as I was to find out.. .. .As for Hug Monster, I somehow doubt that he "stands on the same square as myself", given the historic emnity of his Church towards The Craft. However for what its worth, and only able to judge him by his writings and his picture on the "Bashes" photos, I would be happy to call him Brother, not an appelation I bestow lightly on any man.

Moritz Suter
26th Mar 2002, 02:56
Seeking shelter behind yer crafty apron, Mr. Gannet, oh Queen of the South?

Tartan Gannet
26th Mar 2002, 03:14
Witty indeed, Mr Suter! But tell me, why do you wish to make accusations of Homosexuality against those with whom you disagree?. .. .Whatever else I may be, I can assure you that I am not "gay". If anything a bit of an unreconstructed Male Chauvinist, the sort that still calls women, "love" and "M'dear" and admires a well shaped female figure, generous of breast and buttock, long of hair and pretty of face.. .. .I can only assume that in your value system, to be homosexual is a flaw, and thus to call anyone such, or to imply that they may be of that orientation, is an insult.. .. .Really, you will have to do better than that, MS.

Moritz Suter
26th Mar 2002, 03:20
Au contraire, Mr. Gannet. Neither flaw nor insult, merely fact of life. My highlight is intended to establish, as if any further evidence were necessary, that being possessed of human nature and being English, are mutually exclusive notions.

26th Mar 2002, 03:29
Ah - the slime returns! And amuses all by stating that I am not up to the task. Well, we shall see.. .. .TG is correct - I am not a Mason, despite having been invited twice.. .. .I find it interesting that LT appears to share MS's idée fixe about homosexuality. Some sort of bond there, I think... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> . .. .It's a shame that I have already restricted myself to disembowelling LT with a sabre. Upon further consideration, a blunt shovel would be more satisfying, and more appropriate to his station in life, his lineage, his intelligence and his manners.. .. .I shall stick with the sabre for the object of his affections. It will be sure, MS, but it will not be fast. I am quite capable of toying with my prey.

Moritz Suter
26th Mar 2002, 03:43
Lineage, Mr. Monster!. .. .Well, at least you can still make me laugh.. .. .http://cogropar.edres74.ac-grenoble.fr/chateau.htm. .. .At least your (very far) distant relation, Mr le Comte de Roussy de Sales, had the good grace to attempt growing wine. Sadly, much like the rest of your royal arse-licking forebears, even his attempts at this have resulted in conspicuously advanced ordinariness, curiously reminiscent of your own.. .. .Me thinks you'd be well advised to take another little holiday, along with the rest of your bewildered pals, and leave the gentlemanly art of Dual to vastly more appropriate protagonists than your evident self.. .. .MS.

26th Mar 2002, 04:06
One day, MS, you really must learn to write English - you have such pretensions, that it's a shame there's absolutely nothing to back them up.. .. .The word is "duel". "Methinks" is one word. And I suggest you look up the meaning of "evident". Unless, of course, you mean "eminent".. .. .Since you are clearly trying to talk your way out of it, I suspect you are too much of a coward to commit yourself.. .. .He is not a distant relation. He is a first cousin, once removed. I have no idea who produced that appalling website you managed to trawl up, but the family's title is "Marquis", not "Comte".. .. .François, the current holder, was still in his teens when he lost his father, shot by the Germans in reprisal for some imagined slight shortly after the invasion of France. François promptly went underground in the Maquis, and had a very successful war, and was decorated both by De Gaulle and Montgomery. The wine-growing business is, I understand, very successful, thank you.. .. .If Royalists are "royal arse-lickers", are Republicans "presidential arse-lickers"? Sorry, MS, you will have to do better than that. As for "gentlemanly arts", at least it is a better description that that produced by your intellectually-challenged poodle. However, having correctly spelled the word "gentlemanly", your knowledge of the subject itself is, all too apparently, exhausted.. . . . <small>[ 26 March 2002, 00:19: Message edited by: HugMonster ]</small>

Moritz Suter
26th Mar 2002, 04:18
A gentle early morning breeze wafts over the lake, carrying with it ambrosial fragrance of Spring’s early blooms. The water laps lovingly, as midnight loves the moon, against the little boats tied up at the pier. He waits….he always waits. The breeze plays with the linen of his cuffs, with the curls on his collar. He finds the early chill reassuring. (thank you Mr. Paterbrat). .. .The dual to come, that’s the business. As he waits for his excellent adversary he muses that such men as he and his other should gather in argue’s honour of a highborn twit. Ah, ‘twas ever thus.. .. .His dearest hope, that the crimson slendour soon surely to flow among ancient water shall be recorded to make more gentle this life. More worthy of those that fell in it’s perfect name. . .. .I await you, Oh Knight of the East, with a dreadful respect.

26th Mar 2002, 04:29
TG, it is up to you to appoint a suitable time and place for this meeting. If I may suggest the next Gatbash?

pants on fire...
26th Mar 2002, 04:30
Does young Morris Minor here, ever shut-up?

The only thing I can even remotely equate it to, would be a sewage plant. Consuming an inordinate amount of 5h1te from god know's where, and turning it into a never ending stream of noxious effluent; with neither point, nor conclusion.

I quote Ms. Morris Marina here;

"the gentlemanly art of Dual"

Sadly this is somewhat erroneous in regard to Morris Mini. He is not a master of the Gentlemanly art of dual (sic), but more a master of the less gentlemanly art of SOLO; - The HAND SOLO.

For he (she, whatever) is the most demonstrably prolific wancher that has ever graced the pages of PPRuNe!

Morris Tuser may have had some equals on PPRuNe, but he has never been bettered!

Edited to compensate for the new software.

Moritz Suter
26th Mar 2002, 05:26

28th Mar 2002, 02:29
The creature sports the hide of a rhino, proclivities of a dungbeetle and a paranoid homophobia, the tongue drips venom and it offends the senses of all around.

Send Clowns
28th Mar 2002, 02:58
Ah, seems that Suter has brought out the best in Huggy's repartee. If you want me to chuck any insults his way, Huggy, just ask. If not I'll sit back and watch him trip over his own pretensions. I particularly note that his research has not become more thorough with time.

28th Mar 2002, 03:47
Not only that, PB, he is just the sort who would open 1 No Trump without a single spade in his hand... I also harbour suspicions of him teeing off from the ladies' tees, wearing brown shoes with grey trousers, sporting socks with sandals or (even worse) wearing a brown suit. He probably doesn't even know how to tie a Double Windsor... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="rolleyes.gif" />. . . . <small>[ 27 March 2002, 23:52: Message edited by: HugMonster ]</small>

Moritz Suter
28th Mar 2002, 03:56

28th Mar 2002, 06:58
Ms (Miss? Mrs?) Suter, I thought this duel was to take place at the GatBash, or did I read that wrong??? . .. .M.

31st Mar 2002, 17:01
I say Pants, that was definitely said with feeling. That it is echoed throughout the forum is unquestioned. The waiting one is definitely taxing, and of course reigns supreme, in my limited experience in here, of being the most irritating if not obnoxious poster. The posts have of late perhaps lost the rather frenziedly rabid edge, but have lost none of their ability to annoy, a trait it is obviously well pleased with. Persistance is also evident coupled with an Rhinocerous like hide. But I must stop or it will swell with pride, assume bulfrog proportions and croak some more.

Moritz Suter
2nd Apr 2002, 00:41
Far, far too late, I'm afraid, Mr. Paterbrat.

I have yet to be invited to your brutal English ritual at Gatwick Airport, however if invited, by either a gentleman OR (preferably) a Lady, I SHALL attend.

I undertake to be neither caustic nor controversial, and would prefer to be treated at the very least with equanimity (it IS an international flight for me, after all), and perhaps even sorority!

I await your response.



2nd Apr 2002, 00:51
Awwwwwww Moritz.....

You should go,..... you'll have loadsa fun (so I'm told)!!!

AND.... to all u 'meanies' who keep pickin' on him.......

..... LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!! :D

PS: I can't believe I'm defendin' a 'MAN'!!!!!! :eek:

2nd Apr 2002, 02:35
Dear Moritz Suter

I hereby cordially invite you to the GatBash in June, it would be my pleasure to introduce you to the great people who attend these informal tea-dances.

I'm sure that you would find it most amusing and will definitely appeal to your twisty little mind.


Velvet de Prune

ps Please ensure you bring along your expense account

2nd Apr 2002, 14:09
I am but an observer of the lead up to the Huggy / MS duel but I must say that, whilst I can understand that many find MS offensive, I for one would hazard a guess that the said Swiss person has quite an acute sense of humour!! I do hope he takes up Velvet's invitation - unfortunately I will miss the bash in question.

Mr Gannet, do you pursue your fraternal interests outside of the Thames Valley? If so, and if you would be interested in coming up to London for an evening, please e-mail me.


Moritz Suter
2nd Apr 2002, 15:20
My Dear Miss Velvet de Prune,

I thank you for your kind invitation to attend the bashing competition at Gatwick Airport, and have very much pleasure in accepting it. I look forward to attending and to meeting my fellow Ppruners, however I have a few questions for you, or any other lady or gentleman who may care to respond.

1. Can one spend Swiss Franks in Blighty?
2. Is there electricity and indoor plumbing in rural areas like LGW, or should I brink some candles and a porta-potty?
3. Should Hemorrhoid Huggy be attending, can you assure me he'll be appropriately restrained? Wheelie trolley and Ice Hockey goalie's mask should do the trick!

Also, anything you might do to aid my progress through the untermenchen queue at the airport would be gratefully appreciated. For some reason, the English insist upon making us Swiss folk line up with the brown, the brindle, and the american! (yuk)