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Ella Valet
23rd Nov 2001, 21:16
John Howard the Australian Prime Minister,
flies to England for an audience with the Queen.
Howard brings up his grand plans for the future of Australia.

Your majesty, mate", he begins, "Can we turn Australia into a kingdom in order to increase its status in the world?".

The Queen shakes her head and replies,
"One needs a King for a kingdom and you are most certainly not a King, Mr Howard".

Not to be dissuaded, he asks "Would it be possible to be an empire then?"

"No" retorts the Queen "you need an Emperor for an empire and you are most certainly not an Emperor".

"Aw shucks, what about a principality then?" tries Howard.

Predictably the queen replies "You need a Prince for an principality and you are most certainly not a Prince."

Her Majesty takes a sip of tea and adds :

"Mr Howard, having met you and several other Australians I think Australia is perfectly suited to being a country."

DX Wombat
24th Nov 2001, 06:58
That reminds me of a sketch I once heard on a BBC radio programme. I think it was somewhere around the time when Paul Keating was PM and took the form of an interview with HM on board the Royal Yacht Britannia in Sydney Harbour.
Interviewer: "And how did one find Ausralia Ma'am?"
HMQE2: "Oh! It was quite simple really. One just followed the trail of floating beer cans and there it was!" :D :D :D Edited because I missed out a bit.

[ 24 November 2001: Message edited by: DX Wombat ]

Arm out the window
25th Nov 2001, 06:15
Paul Keating also rewrote the book of Royal protocol to read:

"When guiding Her Majesty into an official function, be sure to direct her with a firm hand on the arse."

He actually did this once, caught on TV cameras too.