View Full Version : What sorta moron...?

23rd Nov 2001, 16:02
I couldn't help meself when I saw this in me e-mail today, so here it is for all to see and enjoy ... and add to! And BTW, it came to me from a Canadian, so don't get up me about the Canadian references. If you ain't Canadian, insert your own nationality in lieu, if you insist! :D
Webster's New Universal Unabridged Dictionary defines an oxymoron as: "a figure of speech that is a contradiction."
From the Ancient Greek : Oxus = "sharp" Moros = "dull"
therefore an "Oxymoron" = a sharp dullness or a foolish wise.
And we have ... a self contradicting phrase like :-
A little big
Above it all
Academic sorority
Accurate stereotype
Act naturally
Advanced BASIC
Aerobic exercise
Affirmative action, equal opportunity
Affordable housing
Aging yuppie
Airline food
Airline legroom
Almost exactly
Alone together
American English
American Honda
American culture
Appeared invisible
Apple tech support
Arms limitation
Army intelligence
Artificial intelligence
Assisted suicide
Assistant Supervisor
Athletic scholarship
Automated data processing
Awfully good
Awfully pretty

Back to the future
Bad health
Balding hair
Bankrupt millionaire
Beginning to Finnish
Better than new
Black light
Boring orgasm
Brave politician
Brief wait
British fashion
Budget deficit
Bug free code
Business ethics

Cafeteria food
California culture
Canadian culture
Canadian identity
Casual intimacy
Central Intelligence Agency
Cheerful pessimist
Christian Scientists
Church of Scientology
Civil engineer
Civil servant
Civil war
Classic rock and roll
Clean dirt
Clearly confused
Clearly misunderstood
Clearly vague
Climb down
Clouded reflection
Collective liberty
Common sense
Completely unfinished
Compulsory volunteering
Computer jock
Computer science
Computer security
Concerned Canadian
Congressional action
Congressional ethics
Congressional hearing
Conservative Democrat
Conspicuous absence
Constant change
Construction worker
Conventional wisdom
Corporate planning
Creation science
Creative uniforms
Criminal Justice
Cruel kindness
Cultural diversity
Curved line

Deafening silence
Debugged program
Decent lawyer
Definite maybe
Deafening quiet
Deafening silence
Degradable plastic
Diet ice cream
Dining hall food
Dogfood connisseur
Down escalator
Down elevator
Dress pants
Dry beer
Dry ice
Dry lake
Dry wine

Edible fruitcake
Elementary Calculus
Enquiring minds
Evaporated Milk
Exact estimate
Executive decision
Express bus
Express mail

Fair reporting
Fallout shelter
Fast food
Feeling numb
Fighting for peace
Finally begun
First annual
First-strike defense
Flexible freeze
Football scholarship
Found missing
Free agent
Free coupons
Free election
Free love
Free lunch
Free rent
Free trade
Freezer burn
Fresh frozen
Fried ice cream
Friendly advice
Friendly competitor
Friendly fire
Full service
Full-length bikini
Functional manager
Funny clean joke
Fuzzy logic

Gentle laxative
Genuine imitation
Good grief
Good mother-in-law
Government aid
Government assistance
Government efficiency
Government integrity
Government organization
Graduate student
Ground steak
Grow shorter
Grow smaller
Guest host
Gunboat diplomacy

Half complete
Half dead
Happily married
Hard water
Helicopter flight
Higher education
Holy War
Home office
Honest crook
Honest lawyer
Honest politician
Hot chile
Huge market niche
Human evolution
Humble politician

IBM compatible
Indecent exposure
Industrial park
Innovative uniforms
Intelligent lifeforms

Journalistic accuracy
Journalistic integrity
Jumbo shrimp

Kentucky Fried Chicken
Kosher ham

Lace-up loafers
Layoff protection
Legal brief
Legal ethics
Legally drunk
Likewise unique
Limited success
Liquid crystal
Literal interpretation
Little bigger
Little fat
Live Recording
Living dead

Married life
Martial law
Mature student
Meatless hamburger
Metal woods - golf clubs
Microsoft Works
Middle East peace process
Mighty weak
Military peace
Minor surgery
Moldy cheese
More equal
Mournful optimist
Mutual attraction
Mutually exclusive

Necessary meeting
New Classic
New Tradition
Nice cat
Noble savage
Non-alcoholic beer
Non-denominational church
Nonworking mother
Now then
Nuclear defense

Objective parent
Oddly appropriate
Operating system
Operation Rescue
Original Copy
Original duplicates

Painless dentist
Paperless office
Partly pregnant
Passive aggression
Past presents
Peace force
Peace officer
Personal ad
Personal computer
Petty cash
Plastic glasses
Plastic silverware
Pocket calculator
Polite cabbie
Political science
Politically correct
Pop art
Pot luck
Practical logic
Precision bombing
Pretty ugly
Productivity committee
Professional wrestling
Progressive Conservative
Proprietary standard
Psychiatric care

Quality assurance
Quality management
Quality service
Quebec intellectual
Questions & answers
Quick fix
Quick reboot

Rap music
Rapid transit
Rare steak
Real fantasy
Real fake
Realistic schedule
Realtime computing
Reasonable female
Recently new
Reckless caution
Resident alien
Rolling stop
Rush hour

Safe sex
Sales and service
Same difference
Sanitary landfill
Sanitary sewer
Saving price
Savings and loan
School food
School vacation
Second best
Secret Service
Sedate sex
Semi truck
Semi-boneless ham
Severely killed
Short volume
Silent scream
Slave owner
Slows quickly
Small crowd
Smart bomb
Smart drugs
Social science
Soft rock
Software documentation
Software engineering
Solid glass
Spare rib
Speed limit
Sport wagon
Sports sedan
Stealth bomber
Straight hook
Standard deviation
Student athlete
Student organization
Student teacher
Suburban culture
Summer school
Supporting documentation
Sustainable development
Sweet onions
Sweet sorrow
Synthetic natural gas

Taped live
Team work
Terribly funny
Terribly pleased
Thunderous silence
Tight slacks
Toll freeway
Tone color
Touch of diahrea
Tropical depression
True gossip
True story

Unbiased journalism
Unbiased news reports
Unbiased opinion
Unbiased predisposition
Uncontested divorce
Uninvited Guest
Union craftsman
Union labor
Union workers
Unsalted Saltines
Urban planning
User friendliness

Vegetable beef soup
Violent agreement
Virtual reality
Voting power

Waiting patiently
War games
War hero
Welcome Tax
White America
Wilderness management
Windows NT - New Technology
Wise fool
Wonder Bread
Wooden nickel
Woods Metal
Working vacation
Worldly Americans

Young Floridian
Yummy Yogurt

23rd Nov 2001, 16:12
"He died in the living room " - that sort of thing ?

24th Nov 2001, 00:15
Oz, unfortunately, according to the Greeks, we've been governed by the oxymoron party for most of a century now...

24th Nov 2001, 00:31
Military Intelligence :D

24th Nov 2001, 03:14
Feminine logic! :D <dons hard hat>

Send Clowns
24th Nov 2001, 20:41
Virgin Stewardess :D

26th Nov 2001, 15:21
pigboat... they obviously have rellies in many other parts of the world too! :eek: :D

The winner to date is Send Clowns coz the concept of "Virgin Stewardess" had me in stitches! :)

Better get into that air raid shelter now... :eek:

Anyone got a better one to share...?

26th Nov 2001, 18:31
Fighting for peace.

(Is that like f*cking for chastity)

27th Nov 2001, 12:12
I heard an expression, just today, that was pretty appropriate to this ... Criminal investigation :eek: